“Hey, Frank, wanna chill?” Charlene texted.
“Sure, I'll meet you at the coffee shop? (:” Frank replied.

Three months, 5 days since the aquarium night. Frank was introduced to this girl a couple of weeks ago, and since then they'd been hanging out a lot. He could tell she was really into him, and though he wouldn't admit it out loud he was practically using her for her company. They haven't done anything sexual, let alone even held hands yet. A couple of times Frank invited her to come cuddle with him, but every time it just made him feel empty and like a liar. He didn't connect to her the way she did with him, and cuddling meant something a lot more to her than to him.

A couple of times he'd thought about just getting over it and having sex with Charlene, almost using her like a rebound. He just couldn't bring himself to disrespect her like that. However, any time he'd have the urge to hang out with Gerard and text him to apologize for everything, he'd call her instead and they would hang out. Eventually, facing the fact that Gerard had moved on crept into Frank's mind and it make it easier to not think about him. Mikey flat out told him he was seeing someone else, so why would Frank sit around and mope, feeling sorry for himself if Gerard was getting it in somewhere else? Frank did think about that detail often, though, and every time his stomach would flip, it would always affect him.

They weren't dating, but Charlene had hope that every time she hung out with Frank that he'd ask her. She wasn't stupid enough to ask him herself, and patiently waited for him to come around. She had absolutely no idea what happened with Gerard. She didn't know what happened in Oregon. She hardly knew Frank was even new to town. Frank kept her in the dark about everything, and didn't have any intention on telling [i/]anyone anything.[/i]

Frank met his friend at the coffee shop. He watched as her face lit up when she saw him. She was a pretty girl, that was undeniable. She had long, wavy brown hair, brown eyes, and a nice clear, pale complexion. Her eyes were a soft blue, and she did her makeup in a way that made her eyes stand out. She was shorter than Frank, which usually would draw him in instantly. She was the epitome of what he'd be into, but he was just so emotionally confused and damaged that he didn't know what the fuck he wanted.

She smiled and kissed his cheek before they embraced each other. Frank ordered coffee for her and fell into the gentleman role he'd been so good at before even moving to New Jersey. He knew what to say and when to say it to lure her in, and he went along with the movements. When he smiled, she smiled. The only difference between the two was that when Charlene smiled it reached her eyes. Frank was merely repeating the actions, never letting it reach his eyes or even his heart. He was simply acting through what he knew, or what he thought he should do.

They spent the day together. He let her sit on his lap during a portion of the day, they went to the movies and held hands, and he even kissed her on the forehead; something that practically made her melt. He enjoyed watching someone be so into him. It'd been a long time since he'd have the attention of a girl like this, though all he kept comparing her to was Gerard. Every time she would rub his thumb with hers when they held hands, he'd remember the first time Gerard did that, and hated how differently their fingers felt. Any time she hugged him she was short and petite, something that Gerard was not. He disliked how his arms weren't full with her like they were with Gerard. Everything she did was compared to something he refused existed with Gerard.

“So, hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a party with me?” Charlene said and played with Frank's hair.
He subtly moved her hand away from his head without hurting her feelings, “When?”
“Tonight,” she said and pulled out her phone. “It's at my friend Eli's house.”
“Um, I don't really know.”
“Oh, come on Mr. Antisocial! I want to show you off!” she said and laughed.
“Show me off?” Frank asked confused.
“Come on, they want to meet you. They know we've been... hanging out and stuff.” she answered.
“Will there be alcohol?” Frank gave in.
“I said [i]party[/i] didn't I?” she said and laughed, “It'll be fun.”
“Fine.” Frank said, “If you insist.”
“I do,” Charlene said and stared at Frank's lips, making it no secret she was dying for him to kiss her.

He smiled and looked away.

- - -

Frank went home to shower before the party. After telling his mom he's sleeping at a friend's house, not specifying what friend, she agreed to let him stay out for the night. He got in the shower and jumped at the sudden cold water that hit his skin. He watched as goosebumps fled his chest and abdomen. He sighed as he remembered the last time he got goosebumps in the aquarium.

He remembered it clearly. He remembered the way him and Gerard kissed each other so passionately. He remembered what Gerard's warm breath against his cold neck was like and how he loved it when Gerard would bite his skin. He remembers his lips along his chest and collarbones and how Gerard was so gentle, yet skilled. He remembered the first initial shock as Gerard grabbed Frank's throbbing erection. He remembered it all.

Frank looked down and realized he was completely hardened by his memories of what happened that night. He tried to imagine Charlene going down on him, or even just using her hand like Gerard had done, but he quickly realized that wasn't working. He turned to the forbidden thoughts of his mind, something he'd wondered ever since that first night. He imagined Gerard kissing down his stomach, much like he had done before. He closed his eyes and pictured Gerard's fingers easily opening his skinny jeans and continuing his kisses down to the base of his penis. He'd watch as Gerard looked up at Frank for reassurance and Frank would quickly give him permission. Gerard's mouth would fill up and tease Frank until he couldn't stand it. His head would bob as Frank filled with anticipation before finally releasing into Gerard's mouth.

Before he could realize it, Frank was on the brink of finishing in real life. As he fantasized what he wanted Gerard to do to him he was subconsciously jerking himself, now almost to the climax. He closed his eyes to continue.

As Frank came into Gerard's throat, he'd easily accept the load and swallow, continuing to slowly bob his head and flick his tongue until he knew Frank was completely finished. Only then would he wipe his mouth slightly around the corner where some of Frank's liquid dripped out. He'd make his way up to Frank's lips and kiss him.

Suddenly Frank had had enough. He came right on the shower wall silently, pumping his dick to empty out every drop. He quietly gasped for breath, his chest raising up and down as he gasped for air. He'd never pleased himself so vividly in his brain before.

He turned himself to face the shower, the warm water running down the front of his body now, his now blood engorged member appreciating the water. He turned the water to be slightly colder, but not freezing, which was a welcomed change. His whole body was warm from what he had just done and the cold water helped him clear his mind and relax his body.

Before he washed his hair, he cleaned up his mess on the shower wall and continued with the rest of his bathing. Before getting out of the shower he sighed to himself at what he'd just done. It felt so good, but was so wrong.

“I'm an idiot,” he sighed as he grabbed a towel off the shelf.

- - -

Frank followed Charlene into the door of the house. It was amazingly decorated and HUGE. It was definitely apparent that the kid's parents were loaded and had a damn good interior designer. He looked around and didn't see much. The house was pretty much empty other then a cat and two dogs who hardly looked their way as they walked in.

“They're probably outside, come on!” Charlene said and smiled.

Frank nodded and followed her down a couple of steps into what looked like the living room that was actually used. She went out a sliding glass door onto a patio. It overlooked a beautiful backyard with a swimming pool, jacuzzi, trampoline, and basketball hoop. In order to get to the grass and pool area, you had to walk down a spiral staircase. The patio part before the stairs was big as well. A nice outdoor couch was propped and facing a TV that was specially made for outside weather. It was covered up, though, and no one was on the couch.

Charlene was used to this surrounding, she had been there often. This was her childhood friend's house, so she made herself right at home. She took off her shoes and put her purse next to the couch before taking Frank's hand and guiding him down the stairs.

Frank noticed a couple of people, now. Probably about 12 in total, though they were all dispersed. A few were in the jacuzzi, a couple were playing basketball, but the majority were sitting on the grass drinking alcohol. It was much more relaxed then the last party Frank had attended.

His eyes glanced around. He noticed a lot of people were coupled up. One couple was kissing in the jacuzzi, as well as another were cuddled up on a blanket lied out on the grass. The two people playing ball seemed like they were either new to dating each other, or were about to be. Where most of the people were laying it was hard to tell whether or not they were dating, or who they were dating, but it wasn't a secret that Charlene was dropping hints to Frank. It seemed as though it was a “couples” party, and that's why she wanted to show him off.

He decided to just go along with it for the free booze. He grabbed himself a beer after Charlene helped herself to a wine cooler. He glanced over and watch the couple in the jacuzzi. They hardly separated from each others' faces, it was kind of ridiculous. Frank mentally scoffed at them and thought it was kind of over done. His gaze continued as he landed on a gay couple. He couldn't see their faces, but he could tell it was two guys by the way they were dressed. He mentally smiled to himself and thought it was cute that they were open and comfortable like that. He watched as they drank and laughed together, or at least that's what their body language looked like they were doing. He watched as they leaned in for a kiss before one of them got up and walked away. Frank saw his face now, and didn't know him, not like he expected to know anyone there.

“Come meet everyone!” Charlene insisted and linked her arm with his.

Frank accepted and followed her lead. She sat in the largest group of people and introduced him to everyone.

“Frank, this is Eli and Janet, Brandon and Stephanie, Xander and McKenzie, Shyla and Paul, Nancy and Shane, the people playing basketball are Carson and Val,” she introduced.

“I'm Frank.” he said and smiled towards the new people.

“Aww, Frank! I've heard a lot about you,” Janet explained.
“Is that so?” Frank asked.
She smiled and nodded, “Yes, you make my friend very happy!”

Charlene blushed and nodded before taking a sip out of her drink.

“Oh! And this is Kyran,” Janet said as a guy walked over to the group of people.

Kyran waved slightly towards Frank and smiled. He was skinny and dressed in all black, much like Frank did. He had a couple of visible tattoos which made Frank envious as he had plans on getting as many as possible. He had longer hair that covered his face and his nose was pierced on the opposite side that Frank had his. His smile seemed genuine, and he was very quiet. He had two cups in his hands.

“Kyran, this is Charlene's friend Frank.” Janet introduced.
“Oh, nice to meet you, my dude.” Kyran said.

Frank realized that Kyran was one of the guys he was watching earlier. He didn't look very gay to Frank, but that just made him feel awkward and slightly bad for assuming he'd be a flaming homosexual.

“Oh, don't forget his new boyfri-” Eli started to say before Kyran interrupted him.
“Not my boyfriend,” Kyran said and sat down.
“Yeah, yeah, you two are practically dating and it's cute as fuck.” Charlene said, “It's just so cute, I can't even.”

Kyran laughed and shrugged.

Frank watched his moves carefully. He seemed happy. He wasn't afraid to admit he was with a guy, dating or not. He was comfortable with himself, and for that Frank was envious. He hadn't been comfortable with himself ever since he found out he had been cheated on.

“Where is your beau, anyways?” Charlene asked.
“Oh, he's over there on the phone, I'm sure he'll be right back. So, Frank, I don't think we've ever met before, what school do you go to?” Kyran asked as he drank out of his cup.
“He's new,” Janet butted in, “From Oregon.”
“You seem to know more about him then he knows about himself,” Kyran said and playfully winked at his friend. “Where you from, Frank?”
“Portland.” Frank said and took a sip of his own beer.
“Oh man I fuckin' love Portland! Sickest shows, ever.” He said and smiled.
“You've been?” Frank asked.
“Yeah, I used to live in Washington, so I had some friends in Oregon. Super fun memories.” Kyran said and smiled, “Oh.. here he is.”

Frank was smiling from having something in common with someone for once when Kyran's date walked over and sat close next to him.

“Hi, you,” Kyran said and kissed his face.

The guy kissed him back and then looked towards the group of friends. All of a sudden it's like a bomb went off in Frank's stomach, not to mention the war that was triggered in his head. He looked directly at him. There was no escaping it. Frank was less than 2 feet away from Gerard.

And Gerard had a date.

They stared at each other for a second, both of their faces looked like they'd seen a ghost. Frank instinctively chugged his beer until it was all gone. Gerard removed his hand from Kyran's thigh before clearing his throat.

“Um.. h-hi...” Gerard started and then picked at his nails.

The group of friend glanced around at each other, each one shrugging to signal they had no idea what was going on, though Kyran picked up on Gerard's uncomfortableness.

“Hi.” Frank said through clenched teeth.

Charlene rubbed Frank's back soothingly in an attempt to get Frank's attention, but he hardly felt it. He was too busy trying not to throw up, explode, punch Gerard in the face, and cry all at the same time.

“Do you guys know each other?” Kyran asked skeptical.
“Uh, yeah, that's Frank,” Gerard started, “Um, we had art together when the class was under construction.”
“Oh, awesome! Who would have thought! I didn't know you knew anyone here, Frank!” Charlene said obnoxiously.
“Do you ever really know people?” Frank said bitterly.

Gerard picked up the hostility and tried his best not to cry. He didn't understand where Frank's animosity was coming from. [I]He[/i] was the one who avoided his messages. [I]He[/i] rejected every single phone call. Gerard did nothing wrong, he tried his best and Frank tossed him aside. He had absolutely no reason to be pissed off. Besides, he had clearly moved on with this girl next to him. She was all over him. Even if it was clear to Gerard that she didn't make Frank happy, he justified him going on a few dates with Kyran as 'okay' because of it.

“Not really,” Kyran answered becoming more and more suspicious of their behavior.

Frank got up and excused himself for a second, saying he was going to get another drink. Charlene didn't go with him, so Gerard figured it would be a good time to talk to him.

Gerard worked his way up to Frank who blatantly ignored him.

“Frank, can we just talked about this?” Gerard pleaded.
“Talk about what?” Frank asked coldly, “Don't you have a date to attend?”
“I don't understand why you're so fucking mad at me.” Gerard said.
“Oh, really? You don't understand? That's fucking awesome, Gerard. I'm so glad you have your head shoved so far up Kyran's ass that you can't comprehend how much of an asshole you are.”
“What the fuck do you think I did do you, exactly?” Gerard hissed.
Frank scoffed, “Fuck off, Gerard. Really.”
“Frank what the hell, I sincerely don't know what I did wrong.” Gerard said, “Please just tell me. We can... discuss this, or something.. I mean.. that night... after that, we just- you never- I don't know what I did.”
“We can discuss this? For what? So we can kiss and make up, like we fucking had something together or something? Is that what you think? I'm just not really looking for a relationship right now, but I really appreciate the offer,” he whsipered bitterly.
“You're just too fucking selfish to admit that you actually have feelings for someone.”
“No, I'm just not gay.” Frank hissed. "And definitely not gay for you."
"I beg to differ," Gerard insisted through glaring eyes.

Notes

xoxo,
~m.