“Real isn’t how you are made.” Said the Skin Horse.
“It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
-The Velveteen Rabbit
Margery Williams

Listen to this while reading please. when/if that song ends, listen to this one please

“So, did we fuck or did you reject me again?” Frank grumbled in my ear.
“Get the fuck off of me!” I yelled shoving his arm away and standing up.
“Why are you so fucking stubborn? Why do you keep denying you want me?!” Frank yelled standing up as well.
“Because Frank! That is what people do. If you know you aren’t supposed to, or shouldn’t want someone, you ignore it! You want to fuck your teacher? You ignore it! You want to fuck your brother’s best friend? YOU IGNORE IT!” I yelled back angrily.
“Why?” Frank asked stepping from okay, to in to my personal space. His chest was inches from my heaving one. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“Because I don’t like being hurt. I don’t like being thrown away or used or played with.”
Frank starred into my eyes. His and mine flickering back and forth and sometimes meeting in the middle. Just then Frank sort of tilted his head and took a tiny step closer the space in between our chests was half an inch.
“I will wait for you. Though our lips have not touched, we breathe the same air.”
I blinked really slow and tried to control my rapidly beating heart. My breaths were choppy as I looked at Frank. I couldn’t believe he had quoted the poem he had written all those years ago. Smiling sadly he put one hand on my chest, squeezed his hand into a fist and let it go again. He then looked up at me one more time and left my room without looking back. Leaving me to sit in confusion at what exactly had just happened.
I guess Frank closing the front door cued Mikey because out he came moaning and groaning. After taking a heavy dosage of Advil he finally woke up enough to notice my wallowing.
“Hey Gee what’s wrong” Mikey asked grabbing my shoulder and looking into my eyes.
“Frank-“ I began but was interrupted by a girl stumbling into the kitchen. She looked up at us, dark green eyes darting back and forth. Her hair was dark brown and fringed in front of her face and her cheekbones were very prominent making her gorgeous. God her eyebrows reminded me of Frank. “I- Uhh- coffee?” She asked still trying to figure out the situation she was in.
“I’m Gerard, Mikey’s brother.” I explained and she instantly smiled and brushed off my extended hand and hugged me.
“I’m Christiania Fell, the girl Mikey escorted here because she was so high off her ass she couldn’t think straight enough.” She grinned and walked to the coffee maker and watching it slowly brew. Just then my eyes grew wide and I turned to Mikey. “Is she wearing you Anthrax shirt?” I mouthed. His cheeks grew pink as he nodded avoiding my eyes. I knew what that meant; he liked this girl for real. “So,” she said smiling big and bright, “I just wanted to thank you for saving me from doing something ridiculously stupid.” She said and walked over to Mikey and kissed him on the cheek and hugged him. Mikey put an arm around her and rubbed it back and forth a bit before she jumped back and began searching the cupboards for coffee cups.
“You know what? Let’s go to Starbucks instead” she said grinning at Mikey, “My treat” He looked over to me as if to ask and I just nodded because Mikey deserved this. With that they left me to my own devices, so I did the only thing I knew to do to regain composer, I made coffee.
After a refreshing cup of coffee I grabbed the phone and called up and old friend of mine who really knew how to give advise which I needed profusely.
With that the doorbell shrilled through the house awakening me from my doziness. I opened the door and smiled “Hi C.”
“Hi Gerard” she said hugging me, but then pulled back pushing me into the living room with a “Tell me now.”
“I had this pen-pal in 12th grade” I began sighing. “At first we hated each other but as time grew on we became some sort of friends. That was when you-know-who broke my heart and went to Greece. So I saw him again years late a coffee shop and he wrote his number on my arm but it washed away by the time I got home. Then, believe it or not, we saw each other again when I accidently stumbled into a strip club and the later on Mikey brought him home as a pal. He continuously hit on me and I just brushed him off not wanting to be a fling and now he is confusing me.” I finished.
(Sometime around here the song may have ended so please listen to this song as you continue to read)
Christiana sighed and asked “Do you like him?”
I frowned slightly “Yes, of course I do!”
“Then go get him.” She smiled.
----------------------------------------------------------------------


A call to Mikey, a shower, a few outfit changes and three pep talks later, I was sitting in the car with Christiania starring at the apartment complex like it was God, or maybe Satan.
“Are you going to come with me?” I asked.
“No.” She answered blatantly.
“Why? Will you wait in the car?” I begged.
“-Because Gerard, this is your love, your fight, your decisions, your life, no I will not wait in the car because by the end you two should be making hot gay love to each other.” She said smiling at the last part and winking.
“What if he rejects me?!” I frowned panicking
“Then you fucked up and your punishment is failure and walking home” She smiled.
“Fuck my life” I grumbled getting out of the car.
“Good luck” She called out to me pulling away already. I gulped and took a deep breath. Hysteria crept into my throat making me want to run far away. I took the walk up the steps and stood in front of the door hyperventilating until finally I knocked.
I heard a lot of swearing and finally the door opened revealing Frank. He looked me up and down and I did the same. Trying not to notice how cute he looked in his cargo pants and he was still wearing my shirt. He looked at me expectantly, waiting for my purpose of being here to be proclaimed.

“and as our molecules collide you shall know this to be true.
for if you don't ...well then maybe I’ve been wasting my time.
these things we say, are not just things we say...they are our lies and our truth.
our love and our hate.
and though my tongue may be sharp at times, in my heart I believe in us.
let me decompose in this embrace and be reborn as a fond memory for the dust to settle on and enjoy.
-settle down-
the moments we've shared together, real or imagined, are just a preamble.
I look forward to floating, lost, in our vastness.”
I said I could feel the back of my eyes prickling as Frank just starred up at me for a moment. My throat tightened but then he took a step forward and placed a hand on the side of my cheek, cupping my jaw he pulled me into him and gave me a kiss.
It lasted probably about 3 seconds before we kissed again for another three seconds.
You know how people say that there were fireworks and shit?
Well that is bullshit.
I got no fireworks. I only had a hard time breathing and 17 heart attacks.
When we pulled back from each other he smiled cheekily at me, and I forced a half scared smile back at him as we hugged.
“Gerard, is that a yes?” Frank whispered leaning in and putting our foreheads together.
“Yes.” I smiled.
“It took you long enough.” Frank sighed giving me another peck.
“Yeah I know, but seriously is it necessary to point it out? I mean I am here now!” I pouted.
“Yes it is necessary. You were putting me through sexual frustration. I am not used to being deprived in that section of my life!”
“Oh lord” I groaned, not wanting to think about just how un-deprived he is.
“Hello Frank, is this the boy you’ve been complaining about?” a girl asked from behind me. I turned around and there was a girl with a white pixie cut and pretty blue eyes and another girl latched on to her hip with dark brown hair and very dark painted blue-ish eyes.
“This is Alicia and her girlfriend Albertine.” Frank said pointing to the two girls.
“This is my boyfriend Gerard” Frank smiled and I beamed. Swallows and crows were buzzing in my stomach as he said that.
I was Frank’s boyfriend.
Yeah, I could get used to that.

Notes

I am starting a new story soon. If you are interested in it ask about it in the comments below and I will tell you the title. I am really sad to say goodbye to this but my Baby has grown up. (:


I love you all.