Pansy
But It Feels Like Yesterday
“Yet”
Mikey and Frank left going to some Le Club or something equally as hazardous., but hours later, I am still stuck on what in the hell he meant by “Yet”.I mean yeah, he was a stripper, he knows he’s hot, but Jesus fucking Christ, does he have to be cocky motherfucker about it? Fuck. I tried to draw, tried to write, tried to do a lot of hopeless things but I was too mind-fucked to even think. So I went in the living room and began to look through the movies that Mikey and I owned. As I looked through the shitty horror flicks and complications of CDs my mind began to wonder finding a way to kick my thoughts to Frank-Frank, the little devil.As my mind twiddled along with thoughts of Frank and equally confusing topics, I was starting to wonder how old exactly Frank was. So, of course, my mind wouldn’t leave me alone for 5 seconds before thinking, how old is Frank? So, I bit the bullet and texted Mikey.
“Hey Mikes, what’s up. Sorry for being a pissy little bitch.”
“Hey G, Frnk and I are at the bar. u are such a girl. U PMS and everything.”
“Oh shut up asshat. Hey uhm, can I ask you something?”
“Sure G, whats up?”
“Don’t be a fucking asshole, but how old is Frank?”
“Frank is 23, why?”
“Lol, uhm just making sure he is legal to drink! (: Have (safe) fun!”
“B home soon G. Luv u”
I snapped my phone shut and tried not to have a fucking heart attack, seizure, die, and fucking melt right there because fuck me, Frank was effing 23, and holy shit I am such a fucking pedophile because when I was fucking 17 he was only 12 and fuck my mind I really am a pedophile FUCK MY FUCKING GOD FORSAKEN LIFE. It took everything in me not to wail at how un-lucky my life was. I continued my search for a Horror flick because yeah, my brain was fried right now. I flipped through ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ because that was Mike’s favorite and yuck I hate that fucking movie, and then I saw The Devil’s Advocate and yeah that’s what I was going to watch because it was about a child molester and that is what I felt like, a dirty child molester.
30 minutes through this movie and I am falling back in forth to Dreamland and back. My eyelids sagged and my head nodded back and forth and suddenly I was dreaming.
I was viewing myself from what I guessed to be the third person because I was viewing myself but also another person whose back was turned to me so all I could see was his shaggy short brown hair. I was facing toward him, painting him it looked like. I said something, and he comes over and finally turns around to look at the canvas. His face was soft, and very feminine. Feminine because of his soft nose, arched eyebrows and plump lips, and such a soft jaw line, but still a man because of his small hint of a mustache, tiny, just a little shadow, and his cheek bones set in stone, and his muscled arms, his not buff, not enough to be considered Pecs, just enough to be called defined, chest. “Gerard!” he yelled at me, I guess he didn’t like the painting because he began to continuously call my name again and again and it sounded slurred, like he was drunk? Wait- what? That doesn’t make sense. I jolt awake, my eyes opening to see a pair of hazel ones staring back at me. “Jeeze you are hard to wake up- I called your name like- I called your name like 15 fuckkkiin times man.” The voice slurred. And yeah, that’s Frank. He was leaning over me, hands on my shoulders, feet in between mine, his back at a more or less 80% degree angle. “Yeah hi” I mumbled, still blinking away the sleep from my tired eyes. The T.V. screen behind Frank was off, meaning the movie was long over and forgotten. He let go of my shoulders and spun around, sitting himself next to me- and very, verrryy close at that. “Mikey said you asked how old I was. Why’d you do that?” he asked, his words meshing together. His eyes said he was confused, but his lips said a different story, a sly grin was pasted onto the very plump and pink lips, making them cocky and very self assured and oh my god I’ve been Starring at Frank’s lips for a long time now. And what the hell they are getting closer and oh shit- I looked up and Frank was getting closer and closer to me, and shit! Shit-fuck-shit-shit-fuck, “Frank no.” I said firmly pushing him away from me, and shoving his hand that somehow sneaked its way onto my thigh off too. Frank continued to try to straddle me, to which I pushed him off –again- with a little more force because no means fucking no. In no way was it because I couldn’t trust my self control. No I was a very contained person and in no way impuls- and oh my god Frank was gripping my junk and shit that felt good.I shoved his hand off my crotch and looked him straight in stupid pretty eyes, “No Frank. No.” He frowned and crossed his arms pouting like a fucking two year old and fuck this I’m taking a fucking shower. I glanced at the clock on the microwave on my way to the shower and damn it was 3:00 in the morning.
I was toweling my wet hair off and breathing in the foggy air. As I walked out of the bathroom I began to hum something that sounded like Pink Floyd. It took everything for me not to scream when I saw Frank, passed out on my bed under the covers and judging from the clothes on the floor, he was naked. I sighed and grabbed a pair of flannels and slipped them on and then grabbed my tinniest pair of boxers and a shirt and slipped them on Frank. He didn’t even stir. Figures. I contemplated carrying him to the couch but exhaustion won out on morals tonight because I was fucking tired okay? I laid on the opposite side of the bed on the very edge, and let myself drift into the world of sleep once again. I would love to say that I didn’t jack off in the shower, but I would be lying.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hen I woke up from my slumber I yawned and went down to scratch my balls but there was a hand in the way so I shrugged and laid my head back down before opening my eyes again because what the fuck is a hand doing in the way of my balls?! I tried to recollect the events from the night before and almost shit my pants because fuck my life, Frank’s hand was lying on my balls. Not gripping, just chilling there, like that was okay. I trying to what figure out the hell I was going to do when the hand squeezed my package, just one gentle and short squeeze, and Frank’s husky breath whispered in my ear, breath hot, “So-“
Mikey and Frank left going to some Le Club or something equally as hazardous., but hours later, I am still stuck on what in the hell he meant by “Yet”.I mean yeah, he was a stripper, he knows he’s hot, but Jesus fucking Christ, does he have to be cocky motherfucker about it? Fuck. I tried to draw, tried to write, tried to do a lot of hopeless things but I was too mind-fucked to even think. So I went in the living room and began to look through the movies that Mikey and I owned. As I looked through the shitty horror flicks and complications of CDs my mind began to wonder finding a way to kick my thoughts to Frank-Frank, the little devil.As my mind twiddled along with thoughts of Frank and equally confusing topics, I was starting to wonder how old exactly Frank was. So, of course, my mind wouldn’t leave me alone for 5 seconds before thinking, how old is Frank? So, I bit the bullet and texted Mikey.
“Hey Mikes, what’s up. Sorry for being a pissy little bitch.”
“Hey G, Frnk and I are at the bar. u are such a girl. U PMS and everything.”
“Oh shut up asshat. Hey uhm, can I ask you something?”
“Sure G, whats up?”
“Don’t be a fucking asshole, but how old is Frank?”
“Frank is 23, why?”
“Lol, uhm just making sure he is legal to drink! (: Have (safe) fun!”
“B home soon G. Luv u”
I snapped my phone shut and tried not to have a fucking heart attack, seizure, die, and fucking melt right there because fuck me, Frank was effing 23, and holy shit I am such a fucking pedophile because when I was fucking 17 he was only 12 and fuck my mind I really am a pedophile FUCK MY FUCKING GOD FORSAKEN LIFE. It took everything in me not to wail at how un-lucky my life was. I continued my search for a Horror flick because yeah, my brain was fried right now. I flipped through ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ because that was Mike’s favorite and yuck I hate that fucking movie, and then I saw The Devil’s Advocate and yeah that’s what I was going to watch because it was about a child molester and that is what I felt like, a dirty child molester.
30 minutes through this movie and I am falling back in forth to Dreamland and back. My eyelids sagged and my head nodded back and forth and suddenly I was dreaming.
I was viewing myself from what I guessed to be the third person because I was viewing myself but also another person whose back was turned to me so all I could see was his shaggy short brown hair. I was facing toward him, painting him it looked like. I said something, and he comes over and finally turns around to look at the canvas. His face was soft, and very feminine. Feminine because of his soft nose, arched eyebrows and plump lips, and such a soft jaw line, but still a man because of his small hint of a mustache, tiny, just a little shadow, and his cheek bones set in stone, and his muscled arms, his not buff, not enough to be considered Pecs, just enough to be called defined, chest. “Gerard!” he yelled at me, I guess he didn’t like the painting because he began to continuously call my name again and again and it sounded slurred, like he was drunk? Wait- what? That doesn’t make sense. I jolt awake, my eyes opening to see a pair of hazel ones staring back at me. “Jeeze you are hard to wake up- I called your name like- I called your name like 15 fuckkkiin times man.” The voice slurred. And yeah, that’s Frank. He was leaning over me, hands on my shoulders, feet in between mine, his back at a more or less 80% degree angle. “Yeah hi” I mumbled, still blinking away the sleep from my tired eyes. The T.V. screen behind Frank was off, meaning the movie was long over and forgotten. He let go of my shoulders and spun around, sitting himself next to me- and very, verrryy close at that. “Mikey said you asked how old I was. Why’d you do that?” he asked, his words meshing together. His eyes said he was confused, but his lips said a different story, a sly grin was pasted onto the very plump and pink lips, making them cocky and very self assured and oh my god I’ve been Starring at Frank’s lips for a long time now. And what the hell they are getting closer and oh shit- I looked up and Frank was getting closer and closer to me, and shit! Shit-fuck-shit-shit-fuck, “Frank no.” I said firmly pushing him away from me, and shoving his hand that somehow sneaked its way onto my thigh off too. Frank continued to try to straddle me, to which I pushed him off –again- with a little more force because no means fucking no. In no way was it because I couldn’t trust my self control. No I was a very contained person and in no way impuls- and oh my god Frank was gripping my junk and shit that felt good.I shoved his hand off my crotch and looked him straight in stupid pretty eyes, “No Frank. No.” He frowned and crossed his arms pouting like a fucking two year old and fuck this I’m taking a fucking shower. I glanced at the clock on the microwave on my way to the shower and damn it was 3:00 in the morning.
I was toweling my wet hair off and breathing in the foggy air. As I walked out of the bathroom I began to hum something that sounded like Pink Floyd. It took everything for me not to scream when I saw Frank, passed out on my bed under the covers and judging from the clothes on the floor, he was naked. I sighed and grabbed a pair of flannels and slipped them on and then grabbed my tinniest pair of boxers and a shirt and slipped them on Frank. He didn’t even stir. Figures. I contemplated carrying him to the couch but exhaustion won out on morals tonight because I was fucking tired okay? I laid on the opposite side of the bed on the very edge, and let myself drift into the world of sleep once again. I would love to say that I didn’t jack off in the shower, but I would be lying.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hen I woke up from my slumber I yawned and went down to scratch my balls but there was a hand in the way so I shrugged and laid my head back down before opening my eyes again because what the fuck is a hand doing in the way of my balls?! I tried to recollect the events from the night before and almost shit my pants because fuck my life, Frank’s hand was lying on my balls. Not gripping, just chilling there, like that was okay. I trying to what figure out the hell I was going to do when the hand squeezed my package, just one gentle and short squeeze, and Frank’s husky breath whispered in my ear, breath hot, “So-“
Notes
Cliffhanger motherfucker. Sorry for typos or words that are cut off like "hen" instead of "when" but something wierd is happening to the wevsite and when I try to type another letter in or before a word, it erases one.Like if I had a sentance that said " nd then she," and I tried to add an 'A' it would delete the 'N'
XO.
@Mikey'sUnicorn
@Parajoy
@jacquimarie
Hey ya'll I got locked out of my account, but fyi I plan to re-write and polish P.S. Don't Write and Pansy on my new account!
8/18/15