“Ungh” I groan as I slide to the floor, holding my arm. This is why I am definitely better than Jared. I don’t go around kicking people’s asses for fun.

“Well? That all you got, pipsqueak?” he sneers down at me.

I spit up at him, but it just lands back on my face, causing him to laugh, “Why don’t you go pick on someone who deserves it? I never did anything to you!”

“’I never did anything to you,’” he mimics in a high pitched voice, “Wrong! Your very existence is an insult to this planet. Fags like you don’t deserve to live.”

Something bubbles up inside me, and I don’t try to hold it back. I pounce on him, tackling him to the ground in his shock and pounding him in the face, “For the last Goddamn time, I. Am. Not. Fucking. GAY!” I yell, punctuating the last four words with my fists.

I’m grabbed from behind and pulled off him by his goons. My chest rises and falls in heavy breaths. Looking down, I see that Jared is holding his nose, which is bleeding heavily. The right side of his face is swollen, and a large purple bruise is already forming. Good. The fucker deserves it. Then he looks at me with a venomous glare.

“Whatever. You’re still a fucking pansy, you….I don’t even have time for a wimp like you anymore. We’re leaving, guys.” He stands up shakily and walks away. My fists are clenched to my sides. I cannot believe he would ambush me in an alley for no fucking reason! That guy has problems. Serious problems.

I walk out of the alley and hear slow clapping to my right. Glancing over, I see it’s Gerard. Could this day get any worse? Of course it can, because as I walk away he follows. He looks pretty down. Whatever. It’s not my problem.

“You did great back there. I watched most of it. If that guy wasn’t a minor, I swear…”

“You swear what?” I snap at him, “That you would have jumped in to be my savior and we would have skipped into the sunset? Well thanks, but I don’t need your fucking help. I’ve always taken care of myself and I always will.”

His face falls even more and I feel a sharp tug in my chest. Must be from the pizza I had for lunch.

“Maybe you think that, but…Everyone needs someone there sometimes. Even the most bad ass kid who can take the school bully down in two seconds. And especially the nerdy kid who thought he had finally found his first friend that turned out to be just another asshole. I’ve forgiven you, Frank. But I’m not the only one you hurt.” He walks away after that.

I’m having trouble comprehending what he meant on the way home. The nerdy kid…He couldn’t have been talking about Mikey. Could he? Who am I kidding of course he was talking about fucking Mikey! Who else is there, dipshit? Great, now I’m talking to myself. I have got to get a grip on this situation. And the situation is that Mikey must be pretty upset for Gerard to bring him up like that. Fuck. I didn’t even mean any of it!

Though, I guess he doesn’t know that. I mean, I’ve been too scared to talk to him all week. I wrote a couple texts out, but I ended up deleting them because they sounded stupid. And facing him at school just seemed too….risky. I mean, what if he didn’t accept my apology? What if he did but went on to say something stupid like, “Are you ready to admit that you’re in love with my brother?” That would just be humiliating. Of course I’m not ready to admit that! I mean…Uh…because I’m not in love with him. There’s no way.

I sigh as I walk into the kitchen, causing my mom to look up from her cooking, “Oh, Frankie, welcome home…What happened to your arm?”

Her voice is laced with concern, so I look down to see what she’s talking about. Turns out, there’s a huge bruise where Jared hit me with a rock earlier. Funny, I didn’t even feel sore the whole walk home. She shouldn’t have to worry about it. I shrug.

“Ran into a wall at school. No biggie.”

“Well, do you want some ice for it? It looks pretty bad.”

“To be honest, it doesn’t hurt so…” I shrug again.

She purses her lips like she’s not convinced, “All right. So when are you inviting Mikey back over? He was so polite last time. Except for when he left without saying goodbye…”

“We…aren’t really on speaking terms right now.” I say sheepishly.

“What happened?”

I sit down, “A lot. Though I’m still not entirely sure what. I think it was just a misunderstanding, but…Is there really a way to tell? Mostly I’ve just been too stubborn to apologize, I guess. It’s really complicated. Point being, no Mikey for a while, okay?”

I am rewarded with a whack from her spoon, “No it is not okay, young man! If you’re at fault for this, you’re going to go apologize! I was finally getting you out of the house once and a while! Don’t screw this up for me!”

And here I thought my mom loved me, “But—”

“No buts. You go right over to his house. Now.”

“Yes, Mom.” I mutter and get up.

…

“Mikey, I’m sorry for what I said. Let’s go back to being friends…no…Mikey, I really didn’t mean it. I just didn’t want you on my case about Gerard anymore…Mikey, I need you, and…oh, god that makes me sound gay…” I rehearse what I’m going to say as I make a fifth pass in front of the Way house. I’m not sure what’s stopping me from going up to the door. I’m just really nervous.

“You’re making my parents think we’re gonna get robbed,” I look up to see Mikey standing in his doorway.

I smile sheepishly at him, “Oh, really? Guess I’m not as stealthy as I thought. Better pick a different house…”

He nods, “Yeah. Probably start with one where they don’t know you.”

“Wow. I didn’t even think of that. Thanks for the advice.”

“So why are you really here?”

“Uh…I need to…apologize.”

“Not accepted.”

“Wh-what?!” I feel my jaw dropped open. In every scenario I played out while pacing he accepted! “Why?”

“I don’t know. It could have something to do with the fact that you don’t mean it. A heartfelt apology isn’t rehearsed. And even if you did mean it, I don’t think I’d forgive you. You’ve caused a lot of problems, Frank.”

“What problems? I didn’t know!” He’s scaring me a little.

“Big ones. Mostly concerning Gerard. He’s started drinking because of you. I can’t come home without his room reeking of alcohol. And Mom and Dad had to get him antidepressants, because he’s expressed suicidal thoughts.”

I feel my face go pale, “He didn’t tell me…”

“That’s not all. Do you realize how much shit I’ve taken at school? I can’t walk down the hall without being slammed into a wall with someone asking where my boyfriend is. And yet you look like you’re doing fine. In class you seem to not have any cares in the world. Well where the fuck do you get off acting like that when I’m miserable and you’re the one who caused it?”

“I…Didn’t know. Honestly, Mikey…I’ve tried to talk to you, but…I didn’t know what to say. Can I come in? So we can discuss this?”

He sighs, “I’d really rather you didn’t, Frank. Gee’s in there, and seeing you will probably hurt him more. Just…let me take care of my own problem…”

He closes the door, and I can’t believe how much it hurts. Dejected, I turn around and go home.

“Hey, sweetie. Did you make up?” Mom asks.

“No.” I say plainly and continue to my room. Once there, I turn on some loud music and scream. Why does life have to be so complicated?