“Hello?” Gerard’s very tired sounding voice greets me through the phone.

“Uh, hey, it’s Frank…” I say awkwardly.

“Oh…hey Frank,” Now he sounds like he’s holding back excitement. Fuck. My. Life.

“So…I was wondering something,” he says, “Where’d you get my number? Did Mikes give it to you?”

“No…you did,” I decide to tell the truth.

“Uh, was I drunk? I really don’t remember.”

“No…you were sober. It was at the mall like a month and a half ago.”

“………….Oh! Oh, that was you? I knew you looked familiar,” he gets quiet for a long time, “You never called.”

I blush despite myself. How do I tell him that I thought he was creepy yet intriguing and that I was too scared to hit send? “I’m really introverted. Calling random strangers isn’t what I do.” Did I just think he was intriguing? God, I creep myself out.

“Oh, yeah. That would explain it. I must have really scared you,” he laughs and I find myself chuckling too.

“You did. I couldn’t figure out your motive. Though I guess it’s pretty obvious now, huh?” I feel myself smiling, and I will it to go away. Then I glance over and see that Mikey has a slightly…smug look. What’s that about?

“I guess not, though I didn’t really try to hide it. And it’s not like you’re trying very hard either.”

I choke on the air in my lungs, “Wh-What?! What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Frank. Are you really still denying it? You have a thing for me. Even Mikey sees it!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m straight. Hear me? Straight. Okay? So….drop it!” I hang up the phone out of pure terror because what I’m feeling isn’t hatred, or fear, or disgust, it’s…Nerves. I feel nervous about what Gerard’s saying because I’m honestly starting to doubt.

“I’m pretty sure he won’t stop until you doubt it yourself.” Mikey’s words come back to me suddenly. That’s gotta be it. I don’t like Gerard, he’s just pushing the subject too much. Yupp. I’m still perfectly straight. I mean, I’ve dated girls…If you count middle school. And it was nice! I loved it! Never once have I ever thought of dating a guy. No secret wet dreams, no in class boners because a dude walked by. Absolutely nothing.

“You’re falling.” Mikey says plainly.

“Not you, too!” I yell, “I don’t fucking like your brother, okay?! I know you’re both dreaming up some cliché romance where he was a mall stalker and then we fall in love but it’s not going to fucking happen! Because beyond your dreams are reality, and in reality I don’t sit around thinking about dicks all day.”

Mikey’s expression goes stony, “Is that what you think gay people do? You think Gee’s at home imagining how juicy your penis is? Because I’ve talked to him Frankie and the thing he can’t get out of his head is your laugh. So fuck you and your stereotypes. You’re no better than Jared.” He spits on my floor before storming out. I hear him stomping and my mother’s small protests before the front door slams.

I let my head fall into my hands. What did I just do?

…

“Gee,” I moan as his kisses trail from my cheek to my neck to my bare chest. His tongue flicks out along the way, leaving a fiery trail. His hand is down near my waist, playing with the band on my pants. It’s maddening, because he’s just so close to touching me and I want the contact so bad.

“Mmm, Frankie, you’re so hot,” he breathes out, sending shivers down my spine. His hand finally closes the distance to my twitching cock. The touch is blazing, just like the rest of him and my back arches into the pleasure it causes. He chuckles and pulls his fingers away, “Now don’t get too eager there. I still have more for you.”

Before I know it my pants, along with my boxers, are gone and Gerard’s face is where his hand used to be. He lets out another breath and it causes me to squirm. He’s toying with me.

“Gee, please,” I whimper. The sound of my voice is embarrassing. I sound squeaky like a girl.

“Please what, Frankie? I don’t know what you mean,” his tongue darts out with his words, leaving a small wet spot that’s maddening.

“Fuck! Just…Please!”

He chuckles, “All right, but only because you’re adorable.” And then his mouth is around me, engulfing me, pleasing me. I moan so loud I swear the whole block can hear me because it’s better than I ever imagined. He knows just what to do, flicking out his tongue and hollowing out his cheeks and occasionally scraping the vein with his bottom teeth.

It reduces me to a writhing mass. I can’t say anything coherent. There are only grunts and groans. My fingers tangle in his hair, probably hurting him but I can’t bring myself to care. Then I come without warning, causing him to gag slightly as he tries to swallow it. I feel bad, but it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt.

…

I wake up with a gasp. I feel gross, covered in sweat. I’m so hot, and my pants are…sticky. My eyes widen as I realize what just happened. I dreamed about getting a blow job from Gerard. Gerard as in Mikey’s brother. Gerard as in the guy who’s infatuation has caused me to lose my first friend in years. And my body responded to it.

I fucking jinxed myself.

I mean, that’s the only rational explanation. I had just been thinking earlier about how I never dream about guys that way. Clearly this is the repercussion of my thoughts. God I hate my sub conscience. Why can’t my life be simple?

I get up and go to the bathroom for a shower. This really sucks. I’m gonna have to sneak my sheets and clothes into the wash without Mom noticing now. I sigh in frustration. On top of the dream issue, Mikey’s words keep playing in my head.

“You’re no better than Jared.” That’s not true, is it? I mean, I said some things out of frustration, but I didn’t mean it like he took it. I just want Gerard to leave me alone. Is that so bad? I don’t think so. But…he did sound terrible on the phone. What if Mikey tells him what happened? What if that makes him even worse? I can’t have that guilt on my shoulders! I have to make things right and apologize, but…How do I do that without sounding like I care for Gerard?