Hold on Till May

Gerard P.O.V.

After we played the game of Life (four times), played Twister, played Clue, and played Monopoly, (we were all shouting,) we all went to bed.

Vinny and I bunked together. I got to have the bottom bunk.

"Want to borrow some pajamas?" Vinny asked.

"Yeah." I said.

Vinny went to his closet. He threw me a pair of batman pajama pants and an old Metallic shirt.

"Bathroom is next door." Vinny said.

I nodded and headed to the bathroom to change. When I came back, Vinny was already in his bunk bed.

"Do me a favor, blow out that candle." Vinny said.

"Sure." I said and blew out the candle.

"If you get cold, there's extra blankets next to you." Vinny said.

"Yeah. Thanks." I said and got in bed. It was quiet for a while.

"Hey, dude, can you sleep?" Vinny asked.

"No. You?"

"Same." I heard him sigh.

"Who used to sleep here?" I asked Vinny.

"Robin, before he got married." Vinny said.

"Irmarie told me you're going to marry Star," I said.

"Yeah. I am. Just waiting for her to finish collage." Vinny said. I knew he was smiling.

"Congratulations," I said.

"Thanks. How about you?" Vinny asked.

"What?" I said.

"You. Do you have a crush on anyone?" Vinny sang. Okay, I knew where he was going with this.

"I don't know. You tell me," I smirked.

"I think- and I said I think, you have a crush on my sister," Vinny said.

"My family thinks that too," I sighed.

"So... do you?" Vinny asked.

"I... I guess I do. I mean, I'm always thinking on how beautiful she is." I paused. "Does that mean I have a crush on her?" I asked.

"Well. Have you held hands?" Vinny asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Like, right now, since it's dark. I had to held Rocky's, so don't worry if you had to hold one of my brothers." Vinny said.

"No, I held Irmarie's hand. She guided me to the living room." I said.

"Did you feel anything? Like, a warm feeling inside of you? Maybe you felt electricity- and it's not because one of you have electric shock. Have you thought all the stupid things she does, makes you smile? Or when she smiles at you, have you gotten that feeling that your heart will fly out or that you will melt at the moment?" Vinny asked.

I thought about it.

"When Irmarie held my hand, I did feel something inside be... warm. Like, I felt safe around her for some reason..." I trailed off.

"Tell me, Gerard: have you dated at all? And if you have, when was the last time you dated?" Vinny asked.

I thought about it.

"A year and a half now." I said.

"And have you ever made an effort to start dating again?" Vinny asked.

"No." I slowly said.

"Okay. That's why you feel safe around her." Vinny said.

"I-I don't think I get it," I said.

"I'm pretty sure you dated slutty girls. If not, then you dated real bitches." Vinny said.

"Yeah... I did. Or so that's what my Dad says," I said.

"He's right. How many girls have you dated?" Vinny asked.

"Ten." I said.

"Really?"

"I'm kidding. I dated four girls." I said.

"And did anyone of those girls made you feel happy when you were with them?" Vinny asked.

"N-no..."

"And this also explains why you hated Irmarie." Vinny said.

"Why?"

"At some point, you did have a crush on Irmarie. Before you met the idiots. By the way, when did you meet them?"

"Eight grade." I replied.

"Who was your crush in seventh grade?" Vinny asked.

I thought for a moment. I try to remember the girl. The girl who was silent most of the time. The girl who sat in the back of me. The girl who would have something on her that was black. The girl with warm brown eyes. The girl with a smile that made you smile with her. The girl who was consider weird, but she didn't care because she knew that being weird meant she was herself. The girl who wore bracelets everyday.

I realize who this girl was. I realize I was describing this girl out loud with Vinny. And Vinny knew this girl, because this girl is Irmarie, his sister. The girl I always wanted to hold her hand, to give her a kiss on the cheek, to actually talk to her without stuttering, was Irmarie all along.

"And, when Giovanni and Gabriel came in your life, they changed you. They made you think the 'emos' deserve to die. That what ever they thought, they made you think like them. And they hate us 'emos'. You fell in love with my little Buddie in seventh grade, and then they came in eight grade. Your love for Irmarie soon turn into hatred." Vinny said.

"But, what does this has to do with me feeling safe around her?" I asked.

"Have you been happier when you started talking to Irmarie again or not?" Vinny asked.

"I asked you a question first!" I said.

"Just answer this one first: are you happier since you started talking to Irmarie or not?" Vinny asked.

"Yeah... I have been happier since." I said.

It was the truth. I was always happy. I didn't feel like shit like I did when I was with Giovanni and Gabe.

"Not an expert but, I say you have depression every since the change." Vinny said.

"Me. Depressed." I said.

"Yep. You wern't happy at all since the change. Did you loose any friend after you were friends with Giovanni and Gabe- by the way, can I call Gabriel Gabe?" Vinny said.

"Yes you can call Gabe Gabe. And yes. I did have a friend before them. His name was Ray Toro. He warn me about them, but I didn't pay any attention at all." I said.

"My cousin, Ray? The same guy with the big ass Afro?" Vinny said.

"Yep. Irmarie told me he was her cousin at a cafe, like, two days ago." I said.

"Small world," I heard him say.

"No, it's just that New Jersey is small," I said.

"Funny," Vinny said.

"I also lost my brother, Mikey. I stopped talking to him the way I used to. I started treating him like shit, along with Giovanni and Gabe." I said.

"Yeah. You were depressed. You were out of your comfort zone, the life you grew up with before you met them. So, when you started talking to Irmarie, it felt like the times before Gio and Gabe." Vinny said.

"So, is that why when I always bullied Irmarie with them I always felt guilty?" I said.

"Remind me to punch you in the morning. And, yes." Vinny said.

"Why do you want me to remind you?" I asked.

"Because you bullied my little Buddie." Vinny said.

"I apologized to her. I really did." I said.

"I'll have to talk to Irmarie about that," he said.

"You aren't going to tell her about this, are you?" I asked.

"No. Just about the apologizing thing." He said.

I sighed. "So, I've always loved her." I said.

"Yeah. You have. Have any nice memories about you two before you hated her guts?" Vinny asked.

I thought for a moment.

* I walked down the middle school hallway. Well, I was running. I was late to class because someone locked me in my locker and I found a way to get out of it.

So, I ran to my class, which was music class. I was fifteen minutes late.

I was half way there. But, as I was running where another hall met the one I was, I ran into someone, who was also running.

Our books went flying everywhere. We were both on the floor.

"Ouch! Hey, watch where you're going, okay?" I said.

"S-sorry. I-I was just late," a girl my age said.

She had long brown hair, bangs that kind of hid one her warm brown eyes. She had a black shirt that read 'Halestorm' on it. Black jean. And some Chuck Taylor's.

I knew who she was. It was my seventh grade crush, Irmarie.

"N-no. I-I I'm sorry. I'm late t-too." I stuttered.

She gave a small smile and started picking up her stuff.

"Here. L-let me help." I said.

I helped her. I gave them to her, looking into her warm brown eyes.

"T-thanks. What class are you heading to?" Irmarie asked.

"Music." I said.

"I'm heading there too." Irmarie said. "Want to join me?"

"S-sure." I said*

"Aw. Yeah, you so did have a crush on her." Vinny said. "So, how did you get out of the locker?"

"I had a hanger there. You can guess the rest," I said.

"Smart move on your part." Vinny said and yawned.

"Tired?" I asked.

"Yep. You?"

"Same." I sighed.

"Don't worry. I was in your spot too, but it was Star, and I am not you..." Vinny said.

"I get it." I smiled.

"Don't worry okay? She likes you the same way." Vinny said.

"Yeah right," I muttered.

"I heard that. Oh, and if you hurt my little Buddie, I will find you and put your head on a door and slam it until it's cracked open and then yell not to hurt her ever again. Got it?" Vinny warned.

"I don't know if that was meant to be a joke or you were serious," I said.

"Both. But I will hurt you if you do." Vinny said.

"Got it. I wouldn't do anything to hurt Irmarie anymore." I said.

"Good. Good night, Gerard." Vinny said.

"Good night." I said.