“Hi.” he yawned, rubbing his eye with the back of his palm. My chest plummeted, every breath hurt. He shouldn't be here, he should be asleep, and then tomorrow we should do something as friends, without anything upsetting us beforehand, like normal.

“Gerard, what are you doing here?” I asked him, shivering slightly from the draught in the doorway. I ushered him inside with my hands, feeling incredibly relieved as I shut the door; the slamming noise jolted Gerard awake some more.
He looked me right in the eyes, I wanted to look away but I just couldn't.
“I came to apologise.”
Blinking, I quickly tried to rush out a reply, but again, I couldn’t.
Instead, I turned away, walking back to the fireplace that I'd forgotten to light.
As I crouched down to light the fire, I suddenly felt very conscious of my minor lack of clothing.

“Uh..” I said, pulling my shirt down over my knees. “You go and, uh, sit on the couch.”

He did as I said and I struck the match, the light burning on the first try. I hovered it in front of my eyes for a second, bewitched by the flame; before swooping it onto the little pieces of a forest. Colour roared upwards, then settled down, burning into a steady pattern. I blew out the blaze in my fingertips.
Holding my breath, I went over to Gerard. I wanted to patch things up, forget about what had happened, I couldn't do this by ignoring him, as much as I wished I could.
“So.. hi.” I volunteered.
He smiled, placing his hands on his knees, trying to look polite and comfortable; He wasn't, and he was shivering.
“Hello.” he nodded back, still thawing out.
“Here, have this.” I said, giving him the blanket I had been previously using, not daring to wrap it around him.
“Thanks.” he smiled.

Perching on the couch, I awkwardly sat next to Gerard. He bit on the end of his fingernails, the faint chatter of it scattered my ears. I stood up, preoccupying myself with whatever I could, walking over to the television.
“What do you want to watch? I mean, since it's the early hours of the morning, there's not that much on....” He laughed, getting my joke. “We could watch a movie?” I suggested.
“Sure.” He agreed, noticeably relaxing a little.
“Uh, this one? It's called Scott Pilgrim VS The World, it's set out like a comic book, but also a video game. The music in it is really good.”
Recognition filled his eyes. “I'm pretty sure I've read the graphic novels!”
Oh good, hopefully he'll be more interested in the film and not me; the more minutes spent with him, the more uncomfortable silences demolished. I hoped.

“Great.” I closed off the conversation, unpopping the case, and slotting the disk into the player.
The titles came on and Gerard seemed locked in, I watched his face as the frames changed, seeming to tint his eyes different colours. He blinked a lot, and his lower lip seemed distracted in a pout.
Trying to focus on the movie, I looked at the screen, but the lights didn't seem to go in. So I watched Gerard again; he didn't appear to notice until at least the second scene. He cleared his throat, moving his hair to cover his face a little. I silently sighed in defeat, slumping down into the couch, putting my legs up and resting my head on the arm. In turn, Gerard appeared to relax a little, releasing the tension in his shoulders and shuffling his leg up into a more comfortable looking position.

“Frank.” he said, alarming me, interrupting the silence. His eyes didn't move from the screen.
“Yes.” I dared to breathe, my throat scratching and making it hard to speak clearly. The atmosphere was tense, even though the movie was still on, doing a bad job of destroying conversation.
“We need to talk.”
“Oh.” I said, my back straightening up.
“Yeah, we do.” he said, suddenly sounding incredibly formal.
“About what?” I stuttered, feigning stupidity.
“I'm sorry about....what happened in art.” he muttered, his lip trembling a little. I remembered kissing those lips. I shuddered at the thought.
“No.” I began, my pulse racing painfully fast. In a bad way, not in a I'm-happy-to-be-here-but-slightly-nervous way, in a helpmethefuckouti'mscared way.
“I'm the sorry one, I overreacted. That should have never have happened.”
I could have sworn that he flinched.
“No,” he objected in turn. “It wasn't fair on you, I knew you were straight, I should have thought, I was being selfish.”
Selfish.
He thought he was being selfish.
Self·ish
adjective

1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare,etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

I stiffened a little. “It was wrong of me to run away though. I was just scared, y'know....I've never... I wasn't used to that sort of thing.” He nodded.
“I'm still not used to that sort of thing.” I corrected, looking him right in the eye, but then laughing it off, he grinned back at me.
“What, you're planning to?” he chuckled.
“Something like that.” I smiled again, the atmosphere had chilled right down, it felt a lot like it used to, which made me smile even more.
“So, how have you been?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“I've been better, but I'm okay.” his mouth parted, exposing his teeth, his eyes were still glistening happily, he'd gotten over it.
“You?” he retracted, looking slightly worried. I decided to be honest.
“Pretty shit.” I laughed, and he echoed it.
“How's Holly?” I asked reluctantly.
“I don't know, I haven't spoken to her... I feel like I should say something but I'm scared she's going to hate me.”
“Hate you? You haven't done anything wrong, I'm the one who cheated on my girlfriend.”
“Don't put it like that, that sounds bad.”
“Ex- girlfriend...” I muttered, interjecting into my last vocal worry.
“Seven evil exes?” Gerard laughed, referring to the film that was busy being ignored on the television.
“I hope not!”

Silence fell over the room, but it was calm, the film was drawing to a close. My eyes got a little heavy.

“Are you tired?” I asked Gerard, leaning forward to try and get a better view of his eyelids.

“A little.” he whispered, his head drooping over the arm of the couch.
His eyes were fluttering like a dying butterfly, crossing into the world of sleep.

“Go to sleep, asshole.”

He nodded, and killed the butterfly.





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Notes

I'm so sorry for leaving you guys for a month! I've been so busy. I hope at least some of you are still reading...Oh, I was wondering, how old would you guys I was, from my writing? I'm curious.
Enjoy the chapter, sorry it's short. Love you guys. xo