Shadows You Left Behind.

We slowly walked into the newly silenced room, I wanted the paint splattered floor to swallow me up.
Eyes stared at us for a minute, then burst shut into laughter.
We were stood, our hair dripping in paint, our cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and the entire class had just seen Holly run out crying from the cupboard that we were both in for far too long to be getting supplies. I think they all knew what had happened.

“Frank, Gerard,” Miss Carlie sighed, looking disappointed, in me specifically.
“Go to the bathrooms and get yourselves cleaned up. Do not let this happened again.” She said sternly.
“Yes Miss.” We nodded, and scuttled off out of the door, making our way to the history block with the boy's toilets.

“I'm really sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen.” He said, pulling open the door and holding it for me.
I had nothing to reply to him that would be worth saying, following what had happened, so I didn't say anything at all. Unable to tell if I had insulted him, I went to the sink to wash my face, ignoring him.
What would my parents say if they knew? I shuddered at the thought, edging my body language further away from Gerard.
I didn't even want to think about Holly, she was most likely crying somewhere on her own, because of me. And yes, it was my fucking fault, because I could have said no.
Instead, I said yes in so many more ways than one, and I wouldn't be surprised if she never wanted to speak to me ever again.
But yet, a heartless part of my brain didn't care. In fact, it wanted to lash out towards everyone in sight and then against itself. But the other part of me wanted rest, tranquillity and lots of tears.
I pulled at my hair until strands of semi-dried paint came out, I sanded it out with water and my hands. Once it was gone, I stuck my head under the hand-dryer, shook it, and left, slamming the door behind me.
I do not need an education. I will leave right now, and never come back to this shit hole. Ever again.

“Where do you think you're going?” Called a voice, fairly low and male, an air of authority to it.
“Uh, home.” I slumped off, trying to avoid the teacher clearly following me.
“Do you have permission to be off-site?”
“Yeah.” I said, ducking my head down and continuing to walk.
“Can I see a note from your teacher?”
“No.” I said, trying to quicken my pace.
“Come back here!” He shouted, I gave in, I didn't want to get suspended or some shit.
I grunted and walked back to the school, muttering insults.
“You need to go to the detention room.”
“What?” I exclaimed. “But I didn't leave?”
He shook his head. “I don't care, you were going to, and you still could.”
At least I wouldn't have to look at Gerard or Holly all day, but I was still pissed off at this pathetic punishment.

He guided me back towards the school and ushered me into a room.
It was an average size, and full of misbehaving assholes and a teacher who was sat at the front reading a text book.
“What's your name?” The teacher who had taken me there asked.
“Frank Iero.” I said, his eyebrows curled upwards, not believing me. I guess there weren't too may Ieros around this part.
“Frank Iero here, caught trying to leave the school premises.” Ugh, they would've too if they were in my position.
“Sit down here please. Get out a reading book or some homework.” She said harshly. I nodded, ducking down into the chair.

The day took too long to be over, I was sat in the same room, it was torture. Maybe it would have been better to face Holly.
However, right now, I was not facing Holly. I was opening the door, walking into my house.
“Hey Frank, how was school?” My Mom asked brightly, kissing me on the cheek, welcoming me home.
“Uh, good.” I nodded, blatantly lying.
“Dinner is ready.” She said as she wandered back towards the kitchen.
I followed her, smoothing down my hair.
Sitting down, I glanced at my dad, already eating.
I wasn't hungry.

“Oh, we're going out tomorrow night, so I'm afraid you'll have to look after yourself. We'll be gone until about eleven the morning after.” My Mom smiled, cutting herself a slice of bread.
“Where are you going?”
“To the theatre, then going for a nice meal and staying in a hotel. It's for our anniversary!”
“Cool.” I smiled timidly. Ew.
“You are going to be alright on your own, aren't you? Don't invite anyone round, and don't go out.”
“Fine by me.” I grumbled.
As if anyone would want to come here anyway.
I remembered what I thought about friends a few weeks ago. Friends come and go, through fault of my own.
This is why I do not have friends.
I ate quickly, Mom and Dad chatted, I sighed.
“I'm going to my room now.” I muttered, standing up and leaving, pushing my chair in.
They looked a little confused, but let me go anyway.

I fumbled with the strings, running my fingertips along the frets. My guitar always felt like home.
I stood up, throwing the strap over my shoulder. I swayed a little as I played the beginning to a song that I'd just begun to write. It was kinda dark, depressing, but it took my mind off things when I knew it well enough to have a little fun, jumping around the room.
All of a sudden, halfway through the chorus, my voice cracked, and I sunk to the floor, a sob escaping my lips. I covered my mouth, trying to muffle or distil the noise. I curled up against my bed, snuffling into the sheets. I couldn't believe what a mess my life had become in the past few weeks.
I was no longer Frank- the loser with the stupid makeup and no friends.
I was no longer Frank- the loser with the stupid makeup and two amazing friends.
I was Frank- the liar, loser, loner, fag, and overall, insufferable asshole.

I tried to clutch reality, wrapping my arms around myself. I just couldn't believe everything that had happened. I kissed a guy, a fucking guy.
This was never planned, it wasn't supposed to happen. Gerard wasn't supposed to happen.
Even Holly wasn't supposed to happen. I just wanted to be normal, what my parents would have wanted. But in a way, I also wanted to be the opposite; but not like this.
I gathered my limbs together, standing up, pulling my shirt off and climbing into bed, wrapping my duvet around me. I shivered, not sure if the cause was fear, or temperature change. Either way, I felt exhausted. I rubbed my rusty, aching eyes, taking a deep, jagged breath.
I did not want to cry over anyone.
It was just, the shock- the shock of, not of who I was kissing, but what, and in what situation. And the fact that I liked it. It was too much to handle.
So I went to sleep.

Notes

Hey! I hope you like the chapter, it took me a while I'm afraid, I didn't have much motivation this week. Anyway, if there's any mistakes, I apologies, it's gone midnight... xD
Xoxog