Save Me
Sad Memories
"Helly, tell me about your life, at school, at home, how you feel. I want you to tell me and trust me, I won’t do anything unless you want me to" I decided to get straight to topic because I didn't want her to keep putting it off.
She took a deep breath and said quietly "don't interrupt okay?" I nodded and motioned for her to continue.
"When I was little life was perfect, I was 4 when my mum had a little boy, Jase. When I was 11 and Jase was 7 she started working more and more to the point when she wouldn't come home for weeks because she was on business trips, so it was just my dad, Jase and me.
It was the 11th of June when my mum came home to celebrate her and my dad’s anniversary. I remember that day clearly, I remember thinking that she has forgotten about her kids and the only things in her life now are work and Dad. She went out and left me and Jase with her work college, Shannon. He put Jase to bed ridiculously early and yet he didn't care that Jase was crying and he wouldn't let me comfort him.
He came up to me about an hour later when Jase actually fell asleep and said time for you to go to bed Sweetie. I went upstairs knowing that he wouldn't let me stay up, and starting getting undressed and ready for bed when he burst in my room and grinned. I was terrified.
He Walked up to me and picked me up, I was only wearing my underwear at that point and he threw me down on the bed, I was crying and crying and he was ignoring me and taking my clothes off. I couldn't defend myself, I wasn't strong enough, it hurt so much, he was raping me and no one helped me or cared, to this day no one knows"
She started crying and I rubbed her back soothingly but still didn't say anything, I was partly in shock and partly really angry.
She pulled me out of my thought when she carried on talking.
"He left when my parents got home and I was still silently crying not wanting my mum or dad to hear me. My mum left at about 5 in the morning, I was still awake but I didn't see her, I never really see her.
Everything was partly back to normal, I was still petrified and would cry and cry at night when alone, I knew what he done, I was twelve we were just learning it at school. I got closer to my dad after that, hardly leaving his side, he noticed something was wrong, but didn't ask too many questions about it, thankfully. I tried to act like my old self around dad and Jase.
Nothing bad really happened after that until" She took another deep breath, thinking about how she was going to say it.
"until Louis raped me, as you know, I was too scared to do anything sexual with him because of Shannon, but he didn't like that idea he still accepted my opinion until that night, it was roughly two months before my dad died when he took me back to his place and dragged me to his room, he is a lot stronger with me, and straight away I knew what was happening, and I couldn't believe it was happening again.
I can't really remember it that much because I passed out from having a panic attack. Anyway, after that happened he threatened me, he said that if I tell anyone or break up with him, he will do it again and again, so I obliged, to scare not to.
Then... then my dad." She closed her eyes, letting a few tears escape, and sighed.
"He was taking Jase or 'Jason' as he wanted to be called when he became a teenager, home from football practice when they were in a car accident.
They didn't come home at the usual time and I started to worry, I was ringing dads and Jason's phone over and over again getting no answer. I was panicking so much. Then at about 12 at night I got a call on the home phone and it was my mum delivering the news that my dad had died and that I should get to the hospital.
I immediately broke down dropping the phone and running to my car, I was surprised I got to the hospital seeing as I couldn't see much through my tears."
Tears were streaming down her face at this point and I was still rubbing her back.
"Sorry," She said, shaking her head a little
"It's okay" I whispered.
She cleared her throat and carried on “When I got there, I asked where he was and telling them who I was. The receptionist looked at me and said I think you should talk to the doctor. I was confused as all I wanted to do was see my dad. At that point I was thinking that Jason is okay and with my mum, I was wrong, so wrong. Anyway I walked to the doctor and he sat me down and told me that both my dad and brother died instantly in the car accident as a drunk driver in a lorry had drove over the car and crushed them.
I broke down again in the middle of the waiting room. When I slowly stopped it was about 3 in the morning. I went up and asked the receptionist where my mum was and she said she left, as soon as she saw Mr Delgado.
I then asked if I could see both of them and nodded her head quickly, nodded her head and leaded me down several corridors until we entered a room were my baby brother was laying, they had done a good job at cleaning him up, but you could see where he was crushed after a while with him she lead me to my dad’s room, seeing both of them was a massive blur as I was crying all the time.
I sunk into depression after as I had lost the most important people in my life. My mum came home for a couple of weeks after, where on the last day she announced that she was with Shannon and she had been for years. I screamed at her and she left with no sorry or nothing, I don't really see her unless she decides to get some of her stuff from the house, which isn't very often. The only communication I have with her is when she sends me £200 every month for food and clothes and I send her back the bills that had arrived that month.
She lived with Shannon now, so I don't really care considering I hate them both. However, that's my past. The End"
I couldn't think all I said was "wow"
Then I composed myself "whoa, Helly I am so sorry, I had no idea"
She laughed breathlessly and said "It's not your fault Gerard"
I didn't care right then, I pulled her into a hug and she responded straight away and pushed her face into my neck. It felt so nice.
That's when the Bell rang signifying the end of lunch, I groaned and said "I want to see you tomorrow to discuss ways of helping you, I don't like how you're living, and it’s no way for a 17 year old to live, especially with your past to get through as well"
She rolled her eyes "I'm fine but sure"
The class started entering and I said one more thing to her before she joined her friends for registration.
"Take my number and ring me whenever you are upset or have a problem okay?" I said whilst writing down my home and mobile number.
"Um, Okay" she took it and walked away. I knew it was against the rules but I didn't want anything to happen to her. Even though she probably wouldn't call I hoped she did.
She took a deep breath and said quietly "don't interrupt okay?" I nodded and motioned for her to continue.
"When I was little life was perfect, I was 4 when my mum had a little boy, Jase. When I was 11 and Jase was 7 she started working more and more to the point when she wouldn't come home for weeks because she was on business trips, so it was just my dad, Jase and me.
It was the 11th of June when my mum came home to celebrate her and my dad’s anniversary. I remember that day clearly, I remember thinking that she has forgotten about her kids and the only things in her life now are work and Dad. She went out and left me and Jase with her work college, Shannon. He put Jase to bed ridiculously early and yet he didn't care that Jase was crying and he wouldn't let me comfort him.
He came up to me about an hour later when Jase actually fell asleep and said time for you to go to bed Sweetie. I went upstairs knowing that he wouldn't let me stay up, and starting getting undressed and ready for bed when he burst in my room and grinned. I was terrified.
He Walked up to me and picked me up, I was only wearing my underwear at that point and he threw me down on the bed, I was crying and crying and he was ignoring me and taking my clothes off. I couldn't defend myself, I wasn't strong enough, it hurt so much, he was raping me and no one helped me or cared, to this day no one knows"
She started crying and I rubbed her back soothingly but still didn't say anything, I was partly in shock and partly really angry.
She pulled me out of my thought when she carried on talking.
"He left when my parents got home and I was still silently crying not wanting my mum or dad to hear me. My mum left at about 5 in the morning, I was still awake but I didn't see her, I never really see her.
Everything was partly back to normal, I was still petrified and would cry and cry at night when alone, I knew what he done, I was twelve we were just learning it at school. I got closer to my dad after that, hardly leaving his side, he noticed something was wrong, but didn't ask too many questions about it, thankfully. I tried to act like my old self around dad and Jase.
Nothing bad really happened after that until" She took another deep breath, thinking about how she was going to say it.
"until Louis raped me, as you know, I was too scared to do anything sexual with him because of Shannon, but he didn't like that idea he still accepted my opinion until that night, it was roughly two months before my dad died when he took me back to his place and dragged me to his room, he is a lot stronger with me, and straight away I knew what was happening, and I couldn't believe it was happening again.
I can't really remember it that much because I passed out from having a panic attack. Anyway, after that happened he threatened me, he said that if I tell anyone or break up with him, he will do it again and again, so I obliged, to scare not to.
Then... then my dad." She closed her eyes, letting a few tears escape, and sighed.
"He was taking Jase or 'Jason' as he wanted to be called when he became a teenager, home from football practice when they were in a car accident.
They didn't come home at the usual time and I started to worry, I was ringing dads and Jason's phone over and over again getting no answer. I was panicking so much. Then at about 12 at night I got a call on the home phone and it was my mum delivering the news that my dad had died and that I should get to the hospital.
I immediately broke down dropping the phone and running to my car, I was surprised I got to the hospital seeing as I couldn't see much through my tears."
Tears were streaming down her face at this point and I was still rubbing her back.
"Sorry," She said, shaking her head a little
"It's okay" I whispered.
She cleared her throat and carried on “When I got there, I asked where he was and telling them who I was. The receptionist looked at me and said I think you should talk to the doctor. I was confused as all I wanted to do was see my dad. At that point I was thinking that Jason is okay and with my mum, I was wrong, so wrong. Anyway I walked to the doctor and he sat me down and told me that both my dad and brother died instantly in the car accident as a drunk driver in a lorry had drove over the car and crushed them.
I broke down again in the middle of the waiting room. When I slowly stopped it was about 3 in the morning. I went up and asked the receptionist where my mum was and she said she left, as soon as she saw Mr Delgado.
I then asked if I could see both of them and nodded her head quickly, nodded her head and leaded me down several corridors until we entered a room were my baby brother was laying, they had done a good job at cleaning him up, but you could see where he was crushed after a while with him she lead me to my dad’s room, seeing both of them was a massive blur as I was crying all the time.
I sunk into depression after as I had lost the most important people in my life. My mum came home for a couple of weeks after, where on the last day she announced that she was with Shannon and she had been for years. I screamed at her and she left with no sorry or nothing, I don't really see her unless she decides to get some of her stuff from the house, which isn't very often. The only communication I have with her is when she sends me £200 every month for food and clothes and I send her back the bills that had arrived that month.
She lived with Shannon now, so I don't really care considering I hate them both. However, that's my past. The End"
I couldn't think all I said was "wow"
Then I composed myself "whoa, Helly I am so sorry, I had no idea"
She laughed breathlessly and said "It's not your fault Gerard"
I didn't care right then, I pulled her into a hug and she responded straight away and pushed her face into my neck. It felt so nice.
That's when the Bell rang signifying the end of lunch, I groaned and said "I want to see you tomorrow to discuss ways of helping you, I don't like how you're living, and it’s no way for a 17 year old to live, especially with your past to get through as well"
She rolled her eyes "I'm fine but sure"
The class started entering and I said one more thing to her before she joined her friends for registration.
"Take my number and ring me whenever you are upset or have a problem okay?" I said whilst writing down my home and mobile number.
"Um, Okay" she took it and walked away. I knew it was against the rules but I didn't want anything to happen to her. Even though she probably wouldn't call I hoped she did.
update soon please
8/29/14