Silence Is Golden. (Frerard)

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Gerard**

It was dark, utterly pitch black. For a moment I felt as if I were floating. Effortlessly drifting in the abyss, somewhere, beyond the dark interior I had been drowning in, I hear a voice riddled with agony and terror and muffled though it may be, I could faintly pin-point the pleading person's voice as my brother's, although no words were coherent to me what-so-ever.

One question remained in my fogged memory, bouncing around the walls of my cerebrum, was; what got me in this position? there was no recollection of the event's leading up to this situation.

"Gerard, goddamnit! wake up!"

A distressed voice broke clear through the muffled silence, Mikey's distressed voice to be exact. But for what reason?

"Gee, you don't get to fucking leave me!" he sobbed out, despite my eyes feeling like concrete, I slipped them open heavily. In response, Mikey let out a stuttering breath as tears cascaded down his cheeks "Mi-Mikey?" my mouth felt like sandpaper "Oh thank fuck" he choked out, stroking my hair out of my face. I looked lazily around trying to pinpoint exactly what happened... nothing seemed out of the ordinary, that is until I saw the small pile of bloodied towels piled up next to Mikey.

My eyes widened knowingly, all at once everything came rushing back to the forefront of my mind.

Running home.

Bawling my eyes out.

Mutilating my arms to obliteration.

"Ger-Gerard... we talked about this!" he snapped abruptly, in a devastated tone... I looked away from him as I pulled my trembling body up off the floor and onto my bed, guilt bubbling in my chest.

A tension-filled silence filled the space between us as Mikey waited on a reply he knew he wouldn't get. I mentally thanked the high and mightly controller when a knock came from the front door, resulting in Mikey grumbling out profanity while going to see who was interrupting, what he thought, was some sort of guilt trip.

I heard muffled talking from the door, nothing comprehensible until Mikeys brusque "Now's not a good fucking time!" and then the door slammed shut.

I looked up at him quizzically, implying I wanted to know who was at the door.

"It was only Frank" Mikey snapped bitterly.

...oh

...why would he be here?

I nodded nonetheless while mindlessly fiddling with a loose string dangling from my hoodie. "Why didn't you come to me..." he sighed, betrail dripping from his every word. I sighed heavily and looked over at his devastated expression.

Jaw clenched. Lips pressed into a thin line as his nostrils flared ever so often... his eyebrows were creased tightly making prominent worry lines appear on his forehead.

"I uh..." My voice came out just above a whisper, not daring to trust it at full capacity right now. "I acted without thinking..." I admitted truthfully, refusing to initiate eye contact.

"Undoubtedly so."

I sighed dejectedly before standing up on trembling legs and picking up my pack of smokes. Mikey's eyes were fixed on me, watching my every move "I'm only going out back for a smoke... Mikes... calm down please." I murmured dismissively before wandering out of our room and the house.

The air was brisk, a cold front clearly headed our way. I shivered only slightly as a cool breeze whipped passed me.

I heard the back door slide open and then felt Mikey's hand reach into my pocket to grab my pack of smokes. "You really need to quit, kiddo," he said pointedly "I'll quit when life gives me a reason to not slowly kill myself." I countered earning a sigh from my older brother.
He left it at that though and didn't press the subject any further.

I swallowed thickly "Do... do you know where our parents went?" I inquired, not really caring but curiosity getting the better of me. "Fuck if I know" he scoffed "I..." I trailed off, but the sudden noise caught Mikey's attention anyhow "What's up Gee?" I sighed "Well I... If they don't come home, can we just... stay home tomorrow?" I pleaded. He looked over at me with an unreadable expression "If their not home, I'll give you a rest day" he said with a smile.

Notes

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