I Can't Do This On My Own *Frerard*
Their house was ominously quiet. Gerard's room was eerily dark. The foreboding sky above showed no mercy as freezing rain pelted down relentlessly. No-one was home, leaving me alone with my screaming thoughts.
My light, my savior this past week, my Gerard.
"Frankie, are you awake?" His voice, smooth and concerned, called quietly "Yeah..." my voice came out raw due to its lack of use for the past week.
"I brought you some soup... chicken-noodle" he offered kindly "Not hungry." I deadpanned and evidently, he sighed "You need to eat" he countered "Not hungry" I retorted again "God DAMNIT FRANK!" Gerard shouted indignantly causing me to bolt upright in shock "You need to fucking start eating!" he continued "I just lost my fucking mother, excuse me if I have no appetite!" I shot back, "I understand that, but when was the last time you ate?!" he inquired.
That's where I fell silent, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.
He waited expectantly, arms crossed
"Hmm? How long ago, Frank?" he interrogated
"over a week" I mumbled, just above a whisper
"What was that? I didn't hear you."
"I SAID OVER A FUCKING WEEK AGO!" I shouted, my voice giving out halfway through, Gerard's face fell a look of worry crossed his flawless features, "Frankie" he whimpered "That's... that's not healthy" he choked out "I know" I whispered "But it's not like anyone cares so-'' "That's bull-shit" he cut me off angerly "I care and you god-damn well know that" he snapped, this resulted in me letting out a strangled sob.
His face fell instantly, a look of pure guilt washing over his angered expression "Fr-Frankie I'm sorry" he rushed out, crawling onto the bed with me he instantly pulled me into him "Frankie, I'm so sorry" he choked out "I can't do this, Gee..." I sobbed out, his grip on my tightened "Don't say that... Frank" he pleaded "You can't leave me" he stated in a guttural tone "Gee you don't understand" my voice quivered "You're right, I don't but that doesn't mean I don't want to try to" I only sighed in response.
"Lets just... get some sleep yeah?" he offered quietly "Yeah" I agreed.
I had been laying in this bed for god knows how long. Listening to the soft-rhythmic snoring from Gerard who was completely oblivious to my current situation. The wind was howling from outside adding to the eerie feeling that was lingering in my chest.
I delicately untangled myself from Gerard iron hold and tiptoed toward the bathroom... I didn't know what I was doing, all I knew was I couldn't do this anymore.
And that's how I found myself balled up in the bathroom with a bottle of anti-depressants in my hand. I shakenly put one of the white capsules to my lips and hesitantly popped it into my mouth... this is what I wanted. This was good. This is what will make everything better, I followed each pill with a mouthful of water until the whole bottle was gone.
I lay there numbly waiting for the effects to take hold and drag me under, my head was growing dizzy and I could feel my own heart-rate slowing... I thought I heard a door open and feet walking but I was too out of it to comprehend what was going on until I heard Mikey's panic-stricken voice shout my name.
"Frank! oh god, Frankie look at me What did you do?" he choked out "Mike's what's going on?" I heard Gerard grumble "Oh fuck!" he exclaimed. I felt his had on the side of my face "Open your eye's, Frank, NOW!" He shouted desperately "I'm sorry" I whispered "It's better this way" I continued.
"NO! IT'S NOT!" Gerard cried, I vaguely heard Mikey on the phone as I was trying to concentrate on Gerard.
"Frankie, don't do this, don't leave me, you cant" he pleaded brokenly, I watched lazily as tears slid down his cheeks "How many did you take!" he choked "Frankie, please, How many!" I went to speak but my tongue wouldn't cooperate and I let my eyes slip closed, The last thing I heard was Gerard's cried for me to stay...
But things are better this way.
First Off I wanna say sorry. I would have updated sooner but when I went to update I got a call saying my nana passed away, and for the last three months ive just been going through it.
Second I hope your all still here because I still have alot to do with this book before its over and I want hyou all here with me.
I hope I didn;t break your hearts with this update and I will be sure to upload a happy one soon <3