Lost

I was so pissed off when we had to move. I was even more pissed off when I found out that where we were moving to was way across the fucking map of America. I was so pissed that I didn't talk to my parents for two weeks while they planned their little 'trip' to go buy a house in New Jersey. New-motherfucking-Jersey.

We lived in Cali-fucking-fornia. I was very pleased by the fact that I used to live there. I used to go to the beach nearly everyday but I didn't tan much to the point where I look like leather. I used to go out for ice cream almost everyday with my older sister, Fall. I hanged out with my close friends. I used to ride my bike everywhere. I used to do something almost every waking hour of the day.

But no, I get to move to the 'greatest' part of the world! New Jersey! I was so unbelievably pissed when dad came home throwing his excitement in our faces that he just got the title of Head of Delivery and Packaging or the 'big macho man' of the auto parts company that he works for. He was just a big time manager at the factory he works at. Now, he's the 'Head' and gets to work in a big fancy building in between New York and some shit hole called Newark, New Jersey.

Mom got so excited that she quit her job and fully quit working because she didn't have to work anymore due to the fact that 1) we moved and 2) dad's making so much fucking money now. Oh joy! I wanted to bake her some fucking cookie and shove them down her throat because I was so excited for her. Fall told me that I was being melodramatic on how I was acting. I don't give a flying shit.

I slammed my last box down in my newer and bigger bedroom. Melodramatic or not, I was still going to be a bitch until we move back. I prayed, I freaking [i]prayed[/i] for the first time in years because I was hoping that they would change their mind about moving here.

Oh, how I wished they did.

I sat down on top of my queen-sized bed stuffed in the back of the boring room. It was filled with my multiple boxes of crap I owned, my huge dresser, and my lovely bed. I rolled my eyes and threw myself back onto the bed. I kicked my legs for a split second in the air out of frustration. I probably looked like I was a five year old in a fit of rage.

I'm actually not a five year-old having a fit of rage, I'm seventeen years old and having a fit of rage. I'll be eighteen in almost a month from now; more specifically I'll be eighteen on December 12th. Maybe, just maybe I'll move back once I'm a legal adult. But I know I couldn't do that on my own.

You wanna know the worst fucking part about moving right now? I'm in the middle of high school. I don't know how much you enjoyed high school, but when you move during it, it always seems much harder to make friends. I'm in the eleventh grade, which makes me a junior. I didn't fail, I was just sent in late.

I began to kick my legs around just out of frustration and complete boredom. I know I should get up and do something, but I don't feel like it. I don't feel like doing much of anything right now. Maybe I should go find a small hole to crawl into and just hide away until I graduate next year.

I stopped kicking around when I heard a light tap, tap, tap on my bedroom door. I sighed and stood up. I shook off the feeling of being light headed from jumping up too quickly. I grabbed the cold door handle and opened the door up to my older sister, Fall. She was heartbroken about moving, I know, but she didn't want to admit it.

She's a year older than me, making her nineteen years old. She's also a senior in high school; a year above me. I felt awful for her but she didn't want to feel bad for herself and kept looking on the bright side about moving right now. But still, it must suck moving during your senior year.

“Yeah?” I asked her with no emotion in my tone of voice and a blank stare. I held back the urge to roll my eyes.

Fall was always the prettier one. She has dad's golden brown hair that reached her shoulders and she shared mom's green eyes with me. She was super short; she was at least 5 feet tall. Fall was also super skinny and sometimes I think that she could be anorexic or something, but I know she's not. Poor thing needs to eat more though. She's a solid 105 pounds.

Fall beamed a smile with her perfect teeth and said, “Mom says that we're going out for dinner tonight-” she bit her lip quickly in thought “-so get ready, Winter.” She gave me a cocky smile.

I rolled my eyes on the emphasis she used on my name. I nodded my head and closed the door. I went back to where I was sitting before and continued to kick my legs around. They started to feel a bit numb and I thought about how much she emphasized my name.

Winter.

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I wanted to change my name so freaking badly. I hope that one damn day that there's a time machine built and I can go back into the past when Fall was born and slap the fuck out of my parents for thinking that 'Hey! We could name our children from the season that they were born in!' No. Just fucking no. You aren't clever mom and dad.

I jumped out of my skin when I heard my mom yelled for me from downstairs. I quickly stood up and the blood rushed to my head. I ran my hands through my mid-back length black hair as I scrambled to find my shoes. I slipped on my low top black converse as my mom yelled for me again as if I didn't hear her the first time because I suddenly went deaf. The bitch is loud, let me tell you. She could wake the fucking dead and make a deaf person hearing again.

I took off down the stairs and caught my reflection before I made the first step. I looked like holy hell. You could tell I haven't slept in days and that I needed to fix my make up around my eyes. I fixed my tight black t-shirt a little and pulled up my ripped up skinny jeans. I began wiping away the excess eyeliner around my eyes as I stumbled down the stairs looking like a drunk idiot.

I saw my dad standing there tapping his foot impatiently and I walked out of the front door. I jumped into the car next to Fall in the backseat. Dad followed me and jumped in the drivers seat. I plastered my face on the window looking outwards thinking to myself: this place is so fucking dirty.

I mean, it wasn't dirty to the point the place was covered in trash, it just looked dirty. Dirty in the way if I dropped a bagel and I began to eat it after I dropped it, I'd get herpes in the mouth. Possibly AIDS. I know I was being paranoid and thinking about nothing that should be thought about and that it was completely ridiculous.

We pulled up to some shitty diner on some shitty street near some shitty shops. I jumped out of the car before dad had cut the engine and waiting impatiently for them all to get out. I looked up at the diner. It was certainly a 'ma and pop' kind of place. It was painted a puke green color. The paint was peeling and the place looked like shit. Their food is probably shit. Everything about this place screams shit.

“I've heard this place was delicious!” Mom exclaimed over to dad after I declared this place being the number one shithole in Jersey.

Dad just mumbled something before we walked through the doors. I stood next to Fall and behind dad. We walked up to the host stand where we will be help to be seated. I looked around the restaurant. There was almost no one here; tops, there was at least six or seven people actually eating here. If they were so 'delicious,' wouldn't they have more people than this? I told you this place was shit.

“How many will there be tonight?” a males voice asked.

I kept looking out towards the seat and Fall slapped my arm to get my attention a few times. I whipped my head over to her as she gave me 'the look.' One thing that Fall and I have in common is that we like the same type of boys and whenever we saw those boys, we'd give each other that look. It's like what best friends do. My sister is my best friend.

I turned my direction away from Fall and at the host. I almost had a heart attack right there. I was about to drop to my knees and start praying for some miracle that this fine boy could whisk me away to somewhere that wasn't here and we'd go get married and have gorgeous babies because sweet Jesus this boy was fine as fine could get.

He was almost an inch or two taller than me. His hair was messy and not parted in any particular way. It was black and long, almost reaching his collarbone. He had some pale as fuck skin for being close as he is near the ocean and I took note that he might be Italian. His eyes are this crazy pretty hazel with green and brown. He doesn't look like he's that much older than me.

I snapped back into reality when he looked over at me and smile. Fall lightly slapped my arm again and I gave her a dirty look. I mouthed the word 'mine' as we held a staring competition. Fall moved her head over as she was about to say something.

“This way,” the host said and had cut off Fall from saying anything.

My family followed him for a short five second walk before we sat down right next the host stand. I sat down at the four person table next to Fall. The host placed the menu in front of me and smiled as I told him thanks. Being kind to the host could work out. You never know. He could leave his number for me.

“I'll be your guys' waiter for the evening, my names Frank-” he smiled at me again and I felt like dying “-anything to drink for you guys tonight?”

That's pretty much how our hour meal went along. Frank, the host/waiter, would constantly come and check on us. Every single time he would smile over at me and Fall began me slapping again like I hadn't noticed. I was completely embarrassed by her. The host probably noticed that she was doing this.

Dad left him a nice tip and we left after paying. Frank The Host waved to me as I left and I got the slap from Fall. I jumped in the backseat and looked out the window. As we started to pull away, mom ducked her head down towards me and my sisters like she was telling us a secret.

“That boy was cute girls!” She exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes and Fall said, “Yeah!” she giggled a bit. “Did you see the looks he was giving Winter!?”

I turned away from the window and huffed towards my idiotic sister. “Fall, shut up. He was not.” Oh yes he was. I was enjoying every minute of it.

“Yes he was!” Fall was getting agitated.

I rolled my eyes again and said, “He wasn't even that cute.”

Lies. Lies. Lies.

She took a fake gasp and turned away from me as she said, “You're the antichrist!”

“Whatever, bow down before me or I'll burn your village to the ground.” I waved my hand in the air towards her and looked out the window. Mom only giggled at us before turning around to face the window.

When we got to the house I ran up to my bedroom and locked it before my parents or Fall could talk to me. I began to unpack my things and place them where they needed to be. The only good thing about this house is that I now have a bigger bedroom and I have a full bathroom attached to it and it's all mine. I didn't have this in Cali.

After three hours of arranging and rearranging my room, I took a hot shower. I felt good inside knowing that this is my shower and I don't have to hide the good soap from Fall. I got out and got dressed in shorts and a loose shirt to wear for bed. It was about eleven at night and usually, I would go to bed later, but I'm exhausted.

Waking up the next day on Sunday wasn't much better. I woke up at one in the afternoon. One! I stumbled down stairs in my pajamas and made it to the kitchen. I looked like I just got punched in the face and I felt like it. I know I overslept and now my body is like, 'What the fuck?'

I heard muffled giggles coming from the living room. I could make one out to be my mom's and there were other two giggles along with hers. Oh shit, there's guest here. I quickly looked at the fridge and fixed my hair by using my reflection on my fridge.

When I thought I was decent enough looking, I grabbed a bottle of juice and walked into the living room where the giggles once were. My mom, dad, and Fall were sitting with an older woman with pale skin and blonde hair. She looked scary, like a female version of the guy from Tales of the Crypt. Next to her were two boys. One with pale skin and black hair and the other with slightly tanned skin and brown hair along with glasses.

I looked away from them as they turned their attention to me. I looked over at Fall who gave me the same look from last night with the host. I completely forgot his name already. I plastered on a fake smile towards my mom.

“Honey! Welcome back from the dead!” she exclaimed. I still don't get how my mom, dad, and Fall have all adjusted to this time zone change, too. I'm getting real tired of their bullshit.

I popped open my bottle of juice and said, “I know right? I slept over twelve hours.”

I took a large drink of my juice as mom introduced me to the three people in our living room. “Winter, this is Donna-” Tales of the Crypt chick “-her oldest son, Gerard-” pale kid “-and her youngest son, Mikey-” the kid with the glasses “- and these are our neighbors!” She smiled over at them. “And this is my youngest daughter, Winter.”

I placed my hand in the air and waved. I took the bottle of juice away from my lips as I said, “Nice to meet you guys.”

“Mikey is a senior like Fall is and Gerard is visiting from college,” mom told me.

I smiled at the pale kid named Gerard. “What are you going for?”

He cleared his throat and said, “Art... and other shit like that...” We made eye contact for a split second before he looked away. I kept staring at him anyway.

I puckered out my bottom lip and nodded my head in satisfaction. “Nice. I like art and other shit, too.”

My dad cleared his throat to get our attention. I turned my gaze away from Gerard and looked at dad as he said, “Why don't you girls take them upstairs and hang out for a bit?”

Fall stood up from the floor and said, “Yeah, sure.”

I followed Fall up the stairs and the two brothers followed behind us. When we made it to the top of the landing I turned to Gerard. He smiled over at me and I looked at Fall who was going googly-eyed at the glasses kid.

“Hey, Gerard,” I started and he peaked interest in me, “Come judge my work? Possibly make me feel like shit?” I smiled.

I knew that Fall was wanting to spend some 'alone' time with this glasses kid and maybe seduce him, I don't know. But, I took the opportunity to corner this pale kid away and get into art discussions with him. I love to draw, but I'm awful at it.

“Yeah-” he smiled “-sure. I promise to try not to make you feel like shit.” Fall and Mikey parted their ways into her room and Gerard followed me into mine. I opened the door and there was a giant pile of boxes in the corner but besides that, my room was decent and cleaned. It looked like it was coming along for someone who just moved.

“Sorry about the boxes,” I told him. Gerard waved his hand in the air to tell me it was alright. I shuffled around on my dresser to find my favorite sketch book and brought it to Gerard. He sat down on my bed and I sat next to him, giving my book.

As he flipped through the pages, he seemed to be interested in it. Gerard looked away from the book and at me. “You have almost the same style as I do.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he started, “I'm way into horror movies and most of the time it's my inspiration of what I draw.”

I felt a genuine smile creep on my lips. “Mine too.”

“I love comic books, too. It seems like you have a very comic book like style mixed into your work. That's how my work is like,” Gerard said.

Gerard flashed me a smile and continued to flip through my sketch book. We ended up getting in a heated discussion about ourselves after that. I found out that he was twenty years old and stays in New York for college but visits nearly every weekend but right now he's on break. He has a celebrity crush on Audrey Hepburn and has a huge fascination with Harry Houdini. He told me that his grandma, Elena, taught him nearly everything he knows and considers his self 'a grandma's boy.' I thought it was adorable how proud he was of his grandma.

I told him about California and how beautiful it is. I told him that it's the best state in the US (he begged to differ of course). I told him about how I got my awfully unique name along with Fall's. Gerard thought it was kind of cool. I told him that I'm a junior and I'm seventeen, almost eighteen, years old. My celebrity crush is Glen Danzig and I have a huge fascination for blood and gore movies.

Eventually, his brother came for him and they had to leave. I'm wasn't really going to admit this to anyone else, but I did feel a little bit upset that he was leaving. I kind of started to like this guy. He was cool as fuck. I could see us chilling out for a while.

Gerard scratched the back of his head as he said, “So, uh, I was thinking that maybe tomorrow after school, I could come over and we could hang out? Get to know each other better?”

I smiled and said, “Hell yeah!”

I walked downstairs with Gerard and gave him a hug before he left. I hugged the glasses kid and his mom. Once they left, Fall and myself marched into the kitchen to eat the brownies that their mom had made us. There's only one word to describe them: orgasmic.

Notes