Save yourself, I'll hold them back

(US tour 2005)
The bunks are rickety in the tiny tour bus when were doing 60 on the highway which made it almost impossible to get some rest in between shows. Gerard's curtain on his bunk is closed and has been since Mikey carried him onto the bus because he was too drunk to walk after the show a few hours ago.

Mikey and Ray are now in the front fighting over a comic book or something dumb. "QUIT IT MIKEY, JUST GIVE HIM THE DAMN THING" I yell from my bunk. the noise dies down and all I can hear is the wind blow against the sides of the bus.
Gerard drank more than usual for this gig, Mikey says its stage fright and its his coping mechanism so I'm not going to push the guy, after all we always have pre drinks before a show so I'm not really in a position to judge. I just wish he would behave himself a little, it gets boring when we keep having to carry him to the bus after every fucking show.

He and Mikey recently lost their Grandmother and ever since Gerard hasn't been the same, his withdrawn and self destructive, I thought it was just the punk image he was trying to create at first but I cant tell they guy how to live.

Tonight was the last show of the tour, so I guess Gerard can give his liver a rest. give himself a rest.

~ The next morning ~

"Morning Gee" mikey said groggily, I hear his curtain open on his bunk and then his heavy footsteps on the bus floor towards the front, "Fuck off mikes, its fucking 6am go back to sleep asshole" I heard Gerard groan from the bunk opposite me. I let out a tired laugh and got off the bunk to get dressed. I guess we made a pit stop somewhere because were parked up somewhere
"Its 11:30 dude" Mikey said buttoning his jeans in the walkway between the bunks.
Another groan wondered out from behind Gerard's curtain.

I pulled my shirt over my head and headed to the small bathroom at the end of the bus and closed the door behind me. I ruffled my hair in the mirror before I put a cigarette to my mouth. I changed my jeans and slipped my shoes on.

What a fucking mess.

My tangled fringe fell over the remainder of eyeliner that circled my eyes, I wipe my face with a damp cloth before lighting my cigarette and leaving the tiny space.
Mikey and Ray are sat in the front eating cereal from the box while listening to the radio
"My Chemical Romance's performance in Chicago last night was quite an experience, the lead singer, uh.. Jared was wasted before the soundcheck apparently" I heard a guy say on the radio as I flick the ash from my cigarette on Ray's head "hey dude, you're gonna burn me up" Ray snorted kicking my leg.
"you got enough hair to protect your scalp, don't be a baby" I snort, leaning over and pulling my jacket out from behind him.
"Mikes, do you really need to eat out of the box?" I ask inquisitively.
"Frank, I've seen you drink whiskey out of some chicks cleavage and you're worried about me eating cheerios out of the box?" he laughed, looking up at me through his glasses. "Fair point" I retorted.

"They cant do an accurate review on a gig if they don't know our names" Ray cut us off, paying attention to the radio, before taking the box from Mikey and tipping some cereal in his mouth. " Everyone's a fuckin critic man" Mikey sighed before heading to the bathroom.
I opened the door of the bus and stepped outside, the cold November air hit me like a ton of bricks,I sat down on the curb and reasoned with the last few drags on my smoke, I stubbed it out and got back up to go inside.

The door swung open and Gerard stepped out in yesterdays clothes, his eyes were stained with eyeliner and his untamed raven hair hung around his face "I'm getting coffee, you coming?" he said, a cigarette hanging from his chapped lips. "Yeah man, let me grab my wallet" I said brushing past him "woah dude, turn the volume down until I've had an aspirin and a cup of Joe" he said, squinting his eyes and shielding the flame of his lighter and taking a long drag "sorry" I whispered.

We walked towards a coffee shop a few minutes down the street in silence. Gerard flicked his butt away and muttered something under his breath angrily.
"huh?"
"They knew how many drinks I had but they didn't know my name" he breathed, looking at the ground. "You caught that, huh?" I said looking up at him. "Like Mikey said, everyone's a god damn critic, it doesn't matter man" I said, looking up at him with a reassuring smile.

"whatever" he said pulling the door open to Starbucks and holding it from me. "The sooner we get back to Jersey the better" he said walking ahead to order his coffee at the counter.
I've never seen him in such a shitty mood before, maybe its the hangover but when this all started he had such a passion, excited to hit the road, bags all packed and ready to go but I guess he isn't taking his grandma's passing too well. I hope he hasn't forgotten what all of this was for in the first place.

Notes

Hello my lovelies,
I have a feeling this one is gonna be long, so if you're enjoying this shit then subscribe or whatever for more updates .
It'll be a dumpster fire no doubt but it wont be anti climactic...
y'all keep being y'all :)