Homeland

Gerard’s POV

I woke up to find Frank wide awake and watching me sleep.
“How long have you been up?” I asked sleepily as I rubbed my eyes.
“For most of the night, the first couple of nights are normally the hardest to cope with.” Frank said quietly as I cuddled into his side.
“Want me to do anything to help you?” I asked as I felt myself slowly fall asleep.
“No baby, just go to sleep. I’ll be fine.” Frank whispered as I felt him start to mess with my hair which made me sigh and I let myself fall back asleep again.

“I need to see her Frank, I said some nasty things to her and I just need to say that I’m sorry for what I said.” I said as I sat on the sofa with a bowl of cereal which was strange as I never normally eat breakfast.
“Do you think she’s ready to talk to you?” Frank asked.
“I don’t know, I mean she’s still ignoring me which means she’s still pissed with me I guess.”I said with a mouthful of food.
“Maybe she’s not ready to talk to you.” Frank said and I frowned at him slightly.
“But it’s been like 2 weeks I’m back on my medication and I’m just starting to see straight again.” I said and Frank rested his hand on my leg.
“Look if you want you can go and see her and see if she’s ready to talk to you.” Frank said and I sighed as I looked down.
“The way I see it is that you have to put yourself first here Gee. Like you’ve just coming back onto your meds, you’ve coming off drugs and alcohol. You need to think about yourself here baby.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“I can give up the drugs and alcohol as soon as I’m back on my medication, sometimes it’s harder than others to get off the stuff but I can manage.” I said quietly as I picked at my fingers.
“And I understand that, I really do. But you are number 1 right now.” Frank said and made me look at him.
“I can give you the best if that’s what you want. All you have to do is ask.” Frank said softly and I nodded slightly.
“Why you helping me? I’m just a lost cause who is about a weeks way of being thrown out on the streets.” I said as I still couldn’t get my head around this.
“Because like I said before, I actually see something in you and I like you a awful lot.” Frank said and I frowned at him slightly.
“There’s nothing to me though.” I whispered and Frank frowned at me.
“There’s everything to you. You’re gorgeous, funny, sweet, kind, adorable there is loads of things about you.” Frank said and I shook my head as I put my bowl on the table and got up and walked to the bedroom and Frank followed me.
“If it’s going to make you feel better then we’ll go and see Johanna.” Frank said as he sat next to me and I shook my head and sniffed.
“It doesn’t matter okay.” I said quietly as I looked down.
“Baby it does matter, you want to make amends with your friend and I’m just trying to look out and do the best for you.” Frank said and I shook my head.
“I want to be alone.” I whispered.
“Okay, I’m just going to get some shopping okay. Is there anything you want me to get?” Frank asked and I shook my head as I lead down.
“Alright then, I shouldn’t be too long okay. Don’t do nothing stupid okay.” Frank said as he lead down and kissed the back of my head and he rolled off the bed and he walked out the room leaving me alone.

I don’t know how long Frank was but I was still lead on the bed with my back to the door and I was woken up by someone climbing onto the bed and cuddling into my back.
“Baby this isn’t healthy.” Frank said softly and I rolled over to face him.
“I can’t help it. If I’ve been manic for a while then I get slapped in the face with a massive hit of depression and not being able to do anything.” I said quietly and Frank smiled sadly at me.
“I didn’t want to ask and intrude, but is that where the scars are from?” Frank asked carefully and I nodded.
“The last time I was feeling this low I almost killed myself.” I whispered and you could see how much that hurt Frank and he pulled me more into his chest.
“That’s going to happen this time because I’m going to be here to make sure you get better okay.” Frank said and I nodded as felt some tears roll down my cheek which made Frank pull back and look at me.
“Don’t cry, you’re too beautiful to cry.” Frank whispered as he lent forward and kissed the tears away and then he kissed me.
“I’m going to look after you okay. No matter how long it takes I’m here and I will support you through everything okay.” Frank said as I nodded.
“Now I’m hungry I don’t know about you.” Frank said and I smiled but I looked down as I didn’t really feel hungry.
“I’ll even make something you love and if you want me to I can feed you if I must.” Frank said and I smiled slightly as I looked down.
“Surprise me.” I whispered and Frank smiled as he kissed the end of my nose as he rolled off the bed.
“I’ll see what I can do princess.” Frank said as he walked out the room which made me smile slightly.

I heard someone knock on the door and Frank answered it.
“He isn’t up for guests.” I heard Frank say.
“Please I need to know that he is okay. You don’t know how bad he can get when his depression hits him.” I heard Johanna say and I sat up and forced myself to get out of bed and walk towards the front door.
“And I said he isn’t fit for guests.” Frank said seriously and Johanna looked behind her and she saw me.
“Gee.” Johanna said and went to move but Frank stopped her.
“Let me see my friend.” Johanna said and looked at Frank and he looked at me.
“She can come in.” I said and Frank moved and Johanna came rushing over and pulled me into a hug which I returned.
“I’ve been so worried Gee.” Johanna said as she cupped my face and looked at me.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered and Johanna pulled me back into a hug and held me tighter.
“Don’t fucking do that to me again okay. I have been going out of my mind with worry especially on your manic episode and you was here and I couldn’t keep an eye on you.” Johanna said and I looked down.
“I did say to him you could stay round to keep an eye on him.” Frank said as he walked over and I let go of Johanna and just stood there awkwardly as they talked about me.
“Did you, well Gerard failed to mention that fucking bit of information.” Johanna said as she stared at me and I looked down feeling like a little kid again.
“Look why don’t you two go to the sitting room and talk about this while I make us all some lunch.” Frank said and I looked at him as he walked over.
“Relaxed, you’ll be okay. This had to happen sooner or later.” Frank whispered as he pecked my lips and walked off and I just looked at Johanna gingerly.
“Well show me the way sunshine, we have a lot to talk about.” Johanna said and I sighed slightly wishing I didn’t get frank to let her in but like he said it had to happen sooner or later.
I walked to the sitting room and Johanna followed me as I sat on the sofa.

“So he’s a bit head strong.” Johanna said and I looked behind me and watched Frank make lunch.
“He’s harmless.” I said quietly as I looked down and messed with my jumper.
“Yeah but he looks like he has one hell of a temper on him.” Johanna said and I rolled my eyes and looked at Johanna.
“Why are you here? Is it so you can pick faults with Frank? If so then you can get the fuck out. He’s a good guy and he cares about me.” I said and Johanna rolled her eyes.
“Gerard can’t you fucking see he’s using you. You are a vulnerable young man, Frank is a clever man Gee and he can manipulate you to doing things you might not want to do.” Johanna said.
“Well that’s where you’re fucking wrong okay. Frank has offered to help me get off the alcohol and drugs, he has offered to help me make sure I can fucking cope without him being here and to make sure I am taking my fucking medication. He is not using me and the only one I can see who is using me right now is you.” I said seriously.
“He’s just doing that to make sure he has you under your grip. Come on Gee who you going to choose out of this, me or your fling.” Johanna said and I stood up.
“Get the fuck out of my house.” I heard Frank say as he stood beside me.
“I can see through you okay. When you have had your fill of him you’ll come running back Gerard.” Johanna said.
“What can you see?” Frank challenged.
“I can see that you are using him just so your dick gets some action. You are controlling towards Gee.” Johanna said.
“Okay so here is a news flash for you little girl.” Frank said seriously as he walked towards Johanna.
“I’m not using Gee, I generally care a awful lot about him. I’m not controlling I am making sure that Gerard is going to be better by the time I get called away for work. Now I’m probably guessing correctly if you are think what I do for a living and why I am away for a very long time.” Frank said and he stopped walking.
“I make sure that you still live a very free lifestyle. I make sure that if the bad guys need killing I will fucking kill them. I will do that to protect my country. Now I believed I have asked you to get the fuck out of my house or do I have to use a bit of force.” Frank said seriously and Johanna looked at me and then back at Frank.
“I want your shit out of my house by the end of the week, I want fuck all to do with you Gerard.” Johanna said and she walked out the house and Frank turned round and looked at me and he went to speak but I shook my head.
“I don’t want to talk about it now okay.” I said as I started to cry and Frank just nodded and left me alone to have my space and I went to the bathroom and locked the door behind and started to run the shower.

I must of been in the shower for a long time as Frank knocked on the door which made me jump.
“Everything okay in there babe?” Frank asked and I blinked a couple of times and looked down at my arms and saw they was red.
“I..I..I fucked up.” I said loud enough for Frank to here me.
“How? Talk to me Gee.” Frank said and I shook my head.
“Gee, if you don’t talk then I’ll come in.” Frank said and I just started to cry again and made myself as small as I could on the floor under the shower and I heard the door open and someone walked over.
“I’m sorry.”I sobbed as I went to move but Frank just wrapped me up in his arms and sat on the floor not caring he was getting wet as well as I just cried into his chest.
“It’s okay, I’ve got you Alright. Everything is going to be okay.” Frank said softly as he rocked himself from side to side.
After a few minutes Frank moved and made me look at him.
“Don’t cry okay. Nobody are worth your tears.” Frank whispered and kissed me which I returned.
“May I look at your arm?” Frank asked softly and I looked down and moved my arm so Frank can look at it.
“I’m stupid aren’t I.” I whispered and Frank kissed my forehead.
“No you’re not stupid.” Frank said quietly and I just sniffed loudly.
“Let’s get you out of this shower as it’s now cold and let’s clean your arm.” Frank said and I nodded as Frank moved and turned the shower off and he offered me his hand which I took and he helped me to stand.
“Too bad this is a bad time to say this but I’m going to say it anyway, you look beautiful and I would have my way with you but I’m not going to as I have more serious things go to sort out.” Frank said and I smiled at him as Frank gently guided me out of the shower and he walked me over to the counter where he picked me up and sat me on the side still naked.
“You can do what you want with me.” I said quietly and Frank looked at me as he cleaned my arm.
“I like to think I’m more of a gentleman then that. So I’m going to sort this out and take you to the bedroom where you’ll get changed and maybe we’ll go out and get something nice to eat.” Frank said and I smiled as I nodded.
“I like that idea, but maybe later we can do something though.” I said as I bit my lip knowing that Frank couldn’t resist it when I bit my lip.
“Might Do, might not.” Frank said as he looked at me with a slightly smirk on his face and for some reason I couldn’t help but squirm where I was sitting.
“Patient Baby. We all the time in the world.” Frank said quietly as he kissed me and he finished my arm off and stood out my way so I could go and get dress which I made sure I wore something I knew Frank couldn’t ignore.

We ended up at this cafe where was was now waiting for our food to come.
“When did you want to get your stuff?” Frank asked and I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders.
“When she’s gone to work. I need to find a new job as well as I’m probably going to be the bad person out of all of this. Johanna is good at making it everyone else’s fault and not hers.” I said quietly.
“You don’t have to work. I mean the money I make can support us both comfortable.” Frank said and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I need to do something to keep me busy, I mean while you’re around I’m fine but it’s when your away is when I need to be kept busy.” I said and Frank nodded.
“Well I might know a person who is looking for someone to work part time.” Frank said and I frowned at him.
“You seem to know a lot of people considering you like to stay hidden from everyone.” I said as I had some of my drink.
“One of the people who I work with, their other half runs some sort of art thing and their looking for someone to help them.” Frank said and I nodded.
“They are having a BBQ tomorrow, if you want to join me that is.” Frank said and I smiled as I looked down.
“Honestly they guys know that I’m gay and they know about you and they couldn’t give two shits, in fact they are dying to meet the mystery Gerard.” Frank said and I felt my cheeks heat up.
“I’ll go, but I need to get more clothes then.” I said and Frank smiled at me.
“Well I say screw going back to that girls place, time for you to make a fresh start. Like buy yourself some new clothes and dye your hair a crazy colour.” Frank said and I smiled really liking this idea.
“I like that idea. Then I don’t have to worry about stealing your clothes which are too small for me.” I said and Frank rolled my eyes.
“Fuck you daddy long legs.” Frank said and I chuckled.
“Well you did have the offer to fuck me but you passed on that one so suck it up short ass.” I said and stuck his middle finger up at me.

After we had our meal we went to the shops where I got some new clothes and I found a new colour to dye my hair and I was getting Frank to help me.
“Think the whole idea of this is that my hair is to get dyed and not you.” I said as I sat on the counter waiting for the dye to do its job.
“Not my fault some stupid spider decided to freak you out.” Frank said as he took his clothes off and got into the shower.
“And is not my fault I don’t like spiders.” I said as I watched Frank in the shower.
Frank just rolled his eyes at me.
“If you want me I’m in your study.” I said and Frank frowned at me.
“Why you going to my study?” Frank asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“I just want some space and some quiet and your study seems like a good place for that.” I said as I walked out the bathroom and walked to Frank’s study and sat in the chair and looked at the picture I’ve been drawing.

“So this is where you hide.” Frank said as he walked into the room.
“Spent a lot of time in here when you was away, I had so much going on in my head that the only way I could get it all out was to draw and that’s how I would waste time.” I said quietly as Frank lent against the desk and looked at the drawing.
“Shit Gee, these are good.” Frank said as he looked at the pile of drawings I had done over the last couple of months.
“There not that good.” I said quietly and Frank looked at me.
“Babe, these are amazing. Don’t put yourself down about this because they are amazing.” Frank said and I smiled.
“Now, I believe we had plans for this evening.” Frank said and I looked at him confused and smiled as I put my pencil down and spun round in the chair where Frank walked over and sat on my lap and kissed me.
“Nope I don’t remember.” I said quietly.
“How about this.” Frank whispered as he undone the zip on my jeans and palmed me through my pants.
“Nope, doesn’t ring any bells.” I said as I tried not to moan.
“Really because your dick says something completely different.” Frank said and I looked at him and pulled his head down to mine and kissed him hard.
Frank moved and pulled me up with him and I pushed everything off the desk as Frank gently pushed me onto the desk with my ass in the air.
“This what you want?” Frank asked as he undone the button on my jeans and pulled my jeans and pants down and started to kiss my thighs.
“Just fuck me okay. Been waiting all fucking day for this.” I said and Frank just chuckled as he cupped my ass.
“I’ll see what I can do baby.” Frank said as he kissed one of my ass cheeks.

Notes