Homeland

Gerard’s POV

It’s been 6 months since Frank left and my mental health was all over the place, even Johanna was getting worried about me which she rarely does these days since I was taking my medication but at the moment I was t taking my medication so it wasn’t helping matters at the moment, so I had relapsed into using drugs and alcohol to numb my racing mind.

“Jesus Gerard have you been taking your medication?” Johanna asked as we walked to work.
“I don’t need my medication, it is clouding my thoughts and I can’t think straight when I’m on my medication. Anyway I need to keep my mind clear and straight for when Frank comes home.” I said and Johanna stopped walking and stood in front of me which made me sigh loudly.
“Gerard you need your medication. It doesn’t cloud your thought you going fucking batshit is what makes your mind bloody cloudy, you can’t think straight because you off your meds and your bipolar is making all your thoughts rush around your mind. Frank wouldn’t want you to stop taking your medication.” Johanna said and I just rolled my eyes.
“How would you even know? You don’t have to live with this, you know Jack shit on what I go through every fucking day at the moment. I don’t even know if Frank is aligned or if he is dead because for all I know is that everyone where he works thinks he is still a bachelor but guess what he isn’t and he fucks my ass when he gets the chance too, so excuse me I need to go to work.” I said and I walked past Johanna and walked to work on my own.

“Jesus Gerard what the fuck is wrong with you, you need to go home now.” Ray said and I frowned at him.
“But I’m fine, there is nothing wrong with me.” I said as I started to bounce my leg up and down as I can’t keep still at the moment.
“Gerard don’t take this to heart okay, but you are not right at the moment. You can barely keep still, you are talking more quicker than normal and you are very out going which I know is very out of character. Johanna has been telling me that you haven’t been taking your medication and you are manic at the moment.” Ray said and I sighed loudly.
“Whatever Johanna has said is a load of bullshit okay. I am fine okay. There is nothing wrong with me.” I said quickly.
“Gerard I know the signs of you being manic okay and I know you are currently in a manic mind set, now I don’t know what is going on outside of work all I know is that you and Johanna aren’t living together at the moment but that is none of my business. I want you to take time off and get better and you can come back but I cannot have you working while you are in a manic mind set. It’s not fair on you or for the customers.” Ray said and I sighed loudly.
“So your sacking me then?” I asked.
“I’m not sacking you Gee, I understand there could be some stress in your life outside of work so I am giving you time off to get all of this out of your system and get your head back on the straight and narrow again.” Ray said and I sighed loudly.
“Fine, what’s my time line then?” I asked and Ray thought about it.
“I’m giving you 3 months to get yourself sorted and back on your medication Gerard.” Ray said and I nodded since for once I wasn’t going to argue about this.
“Fine, I’ll agree to this.” I said as I stood up and went to walk off.
“Hey Gee, just take it easy okay.” Ray said and I nodded.
“I will.” I said as I walked out the office and went to my locker.
“Gee what is happening?” Johanna asked as she followed me to my locker.
“I’ve been given 3 months off because you couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut.” I said and Johanna frowned at me.
“I did it because I am concerned for you Gee.” Johanna said.
“You’re not my fucking mother Jo!” I said loudly and punched the locker by Johanna which made her jump and looked at me.
“I might not be your fucking mother but I am the closest fucking thing to family you fucking got so I’m sorry if I give a shit about you. Now I will come and check on you later to make sure you’re not hanging from the fucking ceiling fan.” Johanna spat and she walked off and I just watched her and I punched my locker door really hard which made a huge dent in it and I grabbed my stuff and walked home.

“Stupid son of a bitch.” I said to myself as I paced around the kitchen still feeling annoyed about earlier.
“I mean who the fuck does she think she is. She isn’t my fucking mother, she threw me out when I was 15 and left me to die on the streets.” I said too myself and I heard the front door open which made me frown and I quickly went to the knife draw and got a knife and headed towards the door.
I raised the knife up just as the person was walking through the door.
“Hey babe, didn’t think you missed me that much to kill me in my own house.” Frank said and I dropped the knife and ran over to him and jumped on him wrapping my arms and legs around him.
“Jesus Gee you’ve lost weight.” Frank said seriously as I pulled back and I kissed him which Frank returned.
Frank set me down and I stood back and looked at Frank.
“You’re so tanned.” I said and Frank chuckled.
“And you still look as pale as the day I left for 6 months.” Frank said and I smiled as I looked down suddenly feeling my good mood disappear but I put a fake smile on my face like I always did.
“Haven’t really left the house since you left. Things kinda haven’t been good for me the last couple of months.” I said deciding to be honest with Frank.
“Actually you know what you’ve just gotten back after being away for 6 months you don’t want to be listening to me and my problems.” I rambled as I turned round and walked off back to the kitchen and decided to make some food for us.
“Gee.” I heard Frank say softly.
“I’m fine okay, I’ve got everything under control.” I said as I looked through the fridge and I pulled a half bottle of wine and took a mouthful and it sort off numbed the racing thoughts but not enough.
“Okay, I’m going to have a shower. I’m looking forward to what you are making.” Frank said as he hugged me from behind and kissed my neck.
“Jesus just fuck me please.” I whispered and Frank smiled against my neck.
“I can do that.” Frank said and he spun me round and dragged me to the bedroom.

———————————————————————————————————————
I woke up t the sound of the shower going and I moved closer to Frank’s side of the bed and shut my eyes and just listened to Frank turn the shower off and walk back into the bedroom and I felt him sit on my side of the bed.
“Babe I need to talk to you.” Frank said and he got up and I heard him get changed and I sighed as I sat up and watched him and Frank looked at me.
“I don’t understand how this bipolar thing works, but I do know a little and I know what signs I need to look for. I knew you was getting bad after your letter for sent me my second month away and I just watched your letter get worse.” Frank said and I looked down and picked at the covers.
Frank walked over and sat on the bed and made me look at him.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” I sobbed and Frank smiled softly at me as he pulled me into his chest.
“It’s okay, I won’t be needed now for a while so I’ll be here to keep an eye on you and make sure you get in anymore trouble.” Frank said softly.
I sobbed into his chest as I nodded.
“How about I’ll go and make us some breakfast and while I do that you go and have a shower and make yourself pretty and put some clothes on and we can talk about what has been going on and why you haven’t been taking you medication.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“I know Gee, the fact you have a whole packet of your medication left shows me you ha ent been taking it. But don’t worry I’m not mad at you.” Frank said as he kissed my forehead and got off the bed and walked out the room.
I sighed and I crawled out of bed and got a shower and got dressed and walked to the kitchen where Frank was dishing up breakfast which made me smile.

After we had breakfast Frank caught hold of my hand and he guided me to the sitting room and we sat on the sofa.
“Come on Gee, open up to me. Don’t think I’m going to judge you because I’m not going to.” Frank said softly.
“I haven’t been taking my medication because my head told me that I didn’t need it. Things might of just gotten out of control.” I said quietly.
“How long have you not been taking your medication and turning to drugs and alcohol instead?” Frank asked.
“Today is the 3rd month without my medication and this is my second month of drugs and alcohol.” I said as I looked down.
“Well, you are no longer going to be 3 months without your medication because I’m going to go and get them and you’ll take them and I know a place which can help with the drugs and alcohol.” Frank said softly and I looked at him.
“Why you helping me?” I asked quietly and Frank lent forward and kissed me which I returned as Frank wrapped me up in his arms.
“I’m helping you because I see something that I’ve never seen in a person before.” Frank said as I rested my head against his shoulder.
“You can do better than me. Someone who hasn’t got a messed up head. Someone who you don’t have to worry about while your away.” I said quietly.
“Nope, can’t do better than you. We can work on you coping mechanisms so you know how to cope without me being beside you. All I did while I was away was think of you. Something I’ve never done before.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“You thought of me?” I asked quietly and Frank smiled as he nodded.
“Yes. I thought about you before I went to sleep, being next to me and I get to watch you sleep. Then if I had time to put my hand to good use I would think of you riding my dick.” Frank said and I moved so I was now sat on his lap.
“Did you really?” I asked unsure about it.
“Every night, or when I could get some sleep it was pretty crazy where I was.” Frank said and I smiled at him as I lent down and kissed him.
“I’ve got your back baby.” Frank said and I smiled at him and Frank gently pushed me off him and then he moved so I was under him which made me giggle.
“Now, I’m gonna fuck your brains out and we’ll forget everything which has happened in the last 6 months and we will start from fresh.” Frank said and I smiled as I nodded.
“I’ll agree to that.” I said quietly as Frank started to palm me through my pants.

Notes