Gerard’s POV

I woke up and rolled over to see Frank was asleep beside me which made me smile and I quietly got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen and put the kettle on and as I waited for the kettle to boil I could see a packet of cigarettes on the side so I picked them up and went outside and sat on the floor as I light up my cigarette and enjoyed the warmth of the morning sun. I let my eyes slip shut and straight away a flashback came which made me open my eyes quickly and I sighed as I finished the cigarette off and went inside ignoring that the kettle had boiled had headed straight to the bathroom.
I started the water up and looked through the cupboard for my medication and that’s when I remembered I had ran out of my medication and that I was just waiting for them to be collected.
“Shit.” I said to myself as I spun myself round and looked at the shower and then too the door, where my head was telling me to lock it and do something stupid but my heart was telling me to leave u locked just Incase I did something so Frank could get in the bathroom.
I ignored my head and stripped myself from my clothes and walked over to the shower and climbed in Ignore how hot the water was.
After a minute I felt myself cry and I pretty much cried and scrubbed myself hard until I felt cold hand on top of mine.
“Baby stop you are hurting yourself.” Frank said and I looked at him and then I looked down and saw that I scrubbed myself that bad on my arms that my arms were now bleeding slightly.
“I need to get him off me.” I sobbed as I went to move my hands but Frank was stopping me moving my hands.
“You are hurting yourself now okay, you have the water one too hot and you have scrubbed yourself raw. I can’t let you carry on this shower if you are going to hurt yourself.” Frank said softly.
“I can still feel him on me. Every inch of my is just dirty and disgusting!” I shouted as I continued to sob loudly as more tears rolled down my cheeks and I felt Frank let my hands go.
“Give me the shower puff thing.” Frank said and I just dropped it on the floor as I wrapped my arms around me and I lent against the wall and slid down it and hugged my knees where I just cried.
I heard Frank move and him turning the water off and sitting next to me.
Frank didn’t move or even touch me expect him resting his hand on the top of my head and running his fingers through my hair.

Frank stayed with me until I calmed down and helped me out of the shower and got me into some comfy clothes and I was now sat on the bed staring at nothing.
“Baby.” Frank said softly and I looked at him and saw he had a mug of coffee in one hand and he had some food in the other.
“I’m not hungry.” I said quietly as I looked down at my hands which are now resting on my lap.
“You have to eat Gee. I’ve even made your favourite.” Frank said as he place the mug and the plate on the bedside table and then sat next to me which made me look at him and smile which Frank returned.
“I’m really worried about you now.” Frank said softly and I looked away from him feeling more tears threatening to fall.
“Baby please don’t shut me out. I’m here for you if you want me to be here for you. Just don’t shut me out and let yourself be left alone with your mind.” Frank said softly as he put his hand on my knee which I allowed and I looked at it and felt myself cry again only this time Frank noticed and pulled me straight onto his lap and wrapped his arms round me as I cried into his chest as Frank whispered sweet nothings into my hair and kissing the top of my head.
“I’ve got your back okay baby, I’ll get the son of a bitch back for this.” Was one thing I heard Frank say before I cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up Frank wasn’t in the room but I could smell something being cooked so I got out of bed and walked towards the kitchen where I found Frank cooking which made me smile and I walked over to him and hugged him from behind which made Frank jump but he quickly relaxed when he knew it was me.
“Did you have a good nap?” Frank asked as he stirred some of the food.
“Yeah, there was no nightmares so that a plus I guess.” I said quietly as I moved and lent against the side and watched Frank cook.
“So I picked your medication up for you.” Frank said as he looked at me and I smiled at him as I stepped over to him and kissed his cheek and I went over to the island and looked through the bag and got my medication and I went over to the sink and got a glass and got some water and then I took my medication.
I turned round and lent against the side and looked back over to the island and I frowned as I walked back over and smiled when I saw Frank had got me flowers.
“You got me flowers?” I asked and Frank walked over and hugged me which I returned as Frank kissed my cheek which made me smile.
“Roses are your favourites right?” Frank asked which made me smile more.
“Yeah, Yeah roses are my favourite.” I said quietly as I turned round and hugged him which Frank returned my hug.
“I love you Gee Okay. This isn’t going to make me love you any less.” Frank said quietly as he lent back and kissed me which I returned.
“I love you too.” I whispered which made Frank smiled as he turned back round and went back to cooking as I sorted my flowers out and then I sat round the island and watched him cook.

After Frank had cooked and we had eaten and I cleaned up, Frank want to go out for a walk which I agreed too as I wanted to get out of the house and I also didn’t want to leave Frank’s side so I went along with him.
We walked to the park and we sat on the bench and I rested my head on Frank’s shoulder as I linked my arm around Frank’s arm as Frank rested his head on top of mine and kissed the top of my head.
“Have you heard how the others are doing?” I asked quietly since Frank hasn’t really spoken much about what happened.
“Jasey said Ollie is still in a bad way and it’s still touch and go if he’ll make it. Jase is out of hospital but he’s fucked now. I haven’t really heard from the others.” Frank said as he straighten out his legs and moved his head off mine and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
“You know I’m always here right. I maybe batshit and that but I’m still here for you.” I said and Frank looked at me and smiled and he lent over and kissed me which I returned.
“I know you are, I know you have my back when I need you to have my back.” Frank said quietly and I smiled as Frank kissed my forehead.
“If you want to see the guys tomorrow then I’ll be right beside you.” I said and Frank smiled as he nodded.
“I’d like that.” Frank said quietly as he looked back out to the park and a idea came to me head so I stood up and offered Frank my hand which made Frank looked at me confused.
“The sun is going to set in a hour, I want to show you somewhere.” I said and Frank smiled as he stood up and caught hold of my hand and we walked to a favourite spot.

We got to old abandoned building and I looked at Frank who was looking unsure of the building. I walked in front of him and turned round.
“What do you think?” I asked and Frank chuckled.
“For me it just looks like a building where a load of people are hiding and I get to shoot them.” Frank said and I chuckled as I smiled at him and I step forward and grabbed his hand and turned round and dragged Frank to the right spot.
I was sat on the edge of where the windows once was and Frank was sat next to me but was weary of how close to the edge we both was.
“Okay this is really high up to be sat so close to the edge.” Frank said and I looked at him and smiled.
“Relax and enjoy the view.” I said and Frank looked out and he smiled.
“How did you find this?” Frank asked and I sighed as I looked at the view.
“A cold winter night when on the streets.” I said and Frank put his hand on my lap and I put my hand on top of his and smiled to myself.
Frank moved and lent into my side and rested his head on my shoulder and we sat quietly as we watched the sunset.
After the sun had set we got up and we slowly walked home where we watched films on the sofa until we both fell asleep on the sofa.

———————————————————————————————————————
Frank had to go somewhere so he left in his uniform and I was okay with that as I knew that Frank was coming home since he left his rucksack here.
I was busy sorting mine and Frank’s washing out when I heard the door slam shut and someone talking in another language and I tensed and quickly grabbed the kitchen knife and went I hide somewhere in the house.
The voice carried on through the house and I moved and followed the voice and I found them in our room and I relaxed when I saw it was Frank and he turned round and frowned at me when he saw the knife in my hand.
“Damn babe didn’t know I annoyed you that much for you to want to kill me.” Frank said his mood cheering up a little.
“I thought you was a intruder.” I said quietly and Frank chuckled.
“Sorry babe, if I’m in a grump with work I tend to forget I have you with me and I slam doors and speak in mother tongue.” Frank said and I smiled at him.
“I’m sorry I scared you babe.” Frank said and I smiled as I turned round and went back to the kitchen to sort the washing out.
Frank came to the in his uniform and he looked me up and down and I raised a eyebrow at him since I was just in my pj bottoms.
“Go get dressed, I’ll finish up here.” Frank said and I frowned at him as Frank moved and he started to fold the clothes with me.
“Where I like to see you with limited clothing on, I don’t think people in a hospital would like to see you with limited clothing.” Frank said and I stopped folding clothes and frowned at Frank.
“I haven’t got any hospital appointments until next week.” I said and Frank chuckled softly as he picked the clothes up and looked at me.
“I need to have a medical done and I thought you could keep Jasey company while I was having medical and then I’ll come back and keep you guys company and see how Ollie is doing.” Frank said and I nodded as I walked to the bedroom and again Frank followed me with the clothes and he started to put them away as I got dressed.
I turned round and saw Frank sat in the bed watching me and you could see he was deep in thought.
“You okay babe?” I asked and Frank looked at me and smiled.
“Yeah I’m okay.” Frank said and I smiled at him as I walked over to him and Frank gently got hold of my hips and pulled me to stand between his legs and I looked at him as I messed with his hair.
I moved and sat on his lap and Frank gently headbutted my shoulder which made me smile and I made him look at me and I kissed him which Frank returned.
It’s strange that Frank is being this cuddly because it’s normally me but since I wasn’t being that affectionate at the moment I guess our roles have changed slightly.
“We better get going.” Frank said quietly and I nodded as I got up and Frank playfully slapped my ass which made me turn round and smirk at Frank which he returned as he stood up and walked over to me as I bent down to out my shoes when Frank stood behind me and grabbed my hips so I stood back up again.
“Don’t think we have time for this.” I said as Frank kissed my neck.
“That is very true.” Frank said and you could hear the disappointment in his voice.
“But it doesn’t mean you can stop what we’re doing now.” I said as I turned round and smirked at Frank and he smiled back at me and kissed me which I returned.
I moved away and went to put my coat on and again Frank was watching me.
“You approve with what I’m wearing?” I asked and Frank smirked at me.
“Always approve.” Frank said as he walked over and caught hold of my hand which made me smile and we made our way to the hospital.

Frank had dumped me on the ward Ollie was on so I was left wondering around looking for Jasey.
Luckily I didn’t have to wonder to far as Jasey was the one who found me.
“Hey Gerard, why are you here?” Jasey asked confused.
“Frank has medical and he was going to come here to see how you and Ollie are getting on. I’m just tagging along as I don’t really want to be on my own at the moment.” I said as I looked down.
“Frank did mention that he was coming here. Come on, come keep me company then.” Jasey said as we walked into a room and I didn’t realise how bad Ollie was until I saw it with my own eyes.
“It looks bad doesn’t it.” Jasey said quietly as she sat in the chair and looked at Ollie and you could see the sadness in her eyes.
“I’m no medical expert so I’ll keep my opinion to myself.” I said and Jasey smiled sadly.
“Frank said that Jase has completely lost it, out of all of them Frank seems to be the only one who is unharmed.” Jasey said as she looked at me.
“He May seem unharmed but he has nightmares or some nights he doesn’t sleep. Not that it really bothers me because I have my problems as well.” I said and Jasey smiled softly at me.
“Frank mentioned when he came the other day what happened.” Jasey said and I looked down.
“How do you cope with Ollie when he comes home? Like Frank doesn’t sleep all that well and I know I keep him awake sometimes because of bipolar and PTSD.” I said and Jasey chuckled softly.
“Ollie is pretty much the same as Frank, the first week off him being home he doesn’t sleep, he just shuts himself away a little. But that was before we had the kids, after we had the kids Ollie was like the man I fell in love with he was full of life, he would tell the kids stories of the places he’s been too. It breaks my heart thinking he may not pull through this and see the kids grow up and share stories with them.” Jasey said quietly as she rested her hand on top of Ollie’s.

We stayed quiet for a while before Frank showed up and he walked over to Jasey and kissed the top of Jasey’s head and she sighed loudly since she was asleep.
“Go home Jasey, Ollie will still be here when you come back.” Frank said softly as Jasey woke up and looked at Frank as he walked over to me and I stood up so Frank could sit down and I just sat on his lap.
“I can’t just leave him.” Jasey said quietly.
“You have kids too look after and you also have a business to run. Ollie understands this and he wouldn’t want you to be sat her mopping round his hospital bed while your parents look after the kids.” Frank said and Jasey looked at us.
“But I can’t leave my husband Frank, I know Gerard would be the same if this was you in this bed.” Jasey said.
“But unlike you and Ollie me and Gee don’t have a family.” Frank said and I stood up which made Frank frown at me.

“I’ll get everyone coffee.” I said and left Frank and Jasey to talk in private.

Notes