Just look over your shoulder

Chapter 13
With all the stress and parenting over the last few months, neither Gerard or I realized that it was already April and Gerard’s birthday was just a few days away. It’s weird how time flies when you have a proper distraction, responsibility for others and obligations. Not that all of these aspects weren’t there before the girls were born, but you almost can’t compare our day to day life from now to the past.
The babies are 15 weeks and three days old when Gerard’s 19th birthday approaches and they have grown up so much in the last months that they don’t need to be around us all the time anymore, which fits just well because I planned to cook Gerard’s favourite dinner for today and spend some much needed alone time with him because while we both love being around the girls and put our entire time and hearts into raising them, we do miss having a bit time to ourselves, so today seems to be the perfect opportunity for that.
I quietly rushed out of bed and put on my yellow dress but let him sleep in because he was up until late last night to increase our fish inventories, saying that it’s easier to fish in the evening now because that’s when Autumn and Ermintrude are asleep. It’s almost funny how much they copied our lifestyle.
I’m sure monkeys are actually active in the night and don’t go to bed when the sun starts to set behind the ocean. I guess that’s just what happens when humans and animals live together, they get used to each other’s habits. What’s really adorable about this is, that one night when Autumn had a little stomach pain and couldn’t sleep, Gerard started to play my old music box and it has become some sort of ritual since then to bring them to bed and play the rainbow song.
But anyway, back to Gerard’s birthday. Man, sometimes I really feel like a proud Papa who wants to constantly talk about their children and be super lofty and excited about every little thing they do even if it’s probably nothing special at all and just, well, them doing something. Whatever, Gerard is like that as well and there’s nothing wrong with it, we’re allowed to be like that.
But still, today is about him so I try to concentrate on that and try to figure out where I put the damn pan because if I don’t find it, the food will never be ready in time.
As if on cue, I hear a loud banging voice coming from the basement, and when I climb down the stairs, jars are on the ground with their contains spilling everywhere, the pan I was looking for lies on the ground as well and a small, cheeky monkey sits in it, happily chewing on something.
“Ermintrude Way! Damnit what did I tell you about the going to the basement?!” I say, loud enough to get her attention, crossing my arms in front of my chest and she immediately looks up at me with huge, innocent eyes as if nothing happened.
“Well, at least you found the pan I guess...” I say, more to myself than to her and sigh and start to clean up the mess she made and when I’m done, I lean down to give her a quick kiss on the head because I just can’t stay angry at her for long.
“Today is your Daddy’s birthday and we want to let him sleep in okay? Try to be quiet, Dollface.”
But of course, as soon as I let Ermintrude jump on my shoulder and make my way to go back up, Gerard stands in the doorway and greets me with a yawn. “Wha’ was that noise I heard,” he mumbles tiredly and rubs at his eyes.
As if she knows it was her fault that Gerard woke up, she makes a shrill squeaky noise and runs away, probably to find her sister or to cause some more damage.
“You happy now E?” I call after her and turn to look back at Gerard with a guilty smile. “I’m sorry Gee, I wanted to let you sleep in but she, well. You know how it goes.”
He grins at that and raises an eyebrow, totally knowing how ‘it’ goes. Two girl monkeys growing up in the house ain’t easy after all.
Gerard stretches his arms over his head and says, voice still deep and scratchy with sleep, “Mmmm, ‘s okay. I was gonna get up now anyway. Do I smell tea?”
I roll my eyes and grin at him because tea is not the most important thing right now. “Will you come here already?” I giggle and pull him into a hug.
“Happy Birthday Love, you’re getting more beautiful every year,” I say against the skin of his neck and pull back a bit to kiss him on the lips. And I really mean it, too. Gods, he’s so truly, truly beautiful. “I hope everything you wish for comes true!”
“There’s actually one thing,” Gerard says, after a moment of thinking about it.
“Really? What is it?” I ask excitedly and lean back, even more, to properly look him in the eyes but keep my hands around his waist.
“Nu-uh, I can’t tell! Otherwise, it might not come true and all,” he says and bears all his brilliantly white teeth in a smile that reaches to his ears.
“Well,” I start and lean in again, pressing the side of my face against his collarbone, “Tell me when it comes true, okay?”
He kisses the top of my head and squeezes me tightly before saying, “You’ll be the first to know.”
-
The day is relatively uneventful, which is sad because I want Gerard’s special day to be perfect, but unfortunately, there’s nothing much to do. It’ not like we can go out, watch a movie or meet with friends. But Gerard seems happy throughout the entire day and says that it’s the best dinner I’ve ever cooked, which I know is only his way of being nice because I cook this very dish pretty often, but I thank him anyway and he smiles his Gerard-smile when I probably also blush a little bit.
After dinner, the sun still standing low on the horizon, I pull him up to our room and take hold of both of his hands and lean in to kiss him passionately.
“What about the girls,” he asks, already a little breathless when I lean down to start sucking on his neck and buries one of his hands in my hair.
“They’re out playing, don’t worry about ‘em,” I mumble back and bite down on this particular spot that always drives him crazy.
He gives in and pulls the dress over my head, leaving me completely naked, and pushes me down on the messy bracken-mattress before settling down on my hips and pulling the white blouse over his head in a swift motion, but leaving his loincloth on.
“Look at you,” he says and runs his palms over my naked chest, making me keen but before I have a chance to respond, he leans down and kisses me again, all needy with tongue and teeth and I melt into it.
God, it’s been too long!
I try to sneak my hands up his back and into his hair, but he’s quicker and catches my wrists, pins them over my head just the way he knows I love it and smirks down at me, making me bite my lower lip in response. Seeing him like this is a treasure.
“Leave ‘em there, you know how it works,” he says, sounding heated and sexy.
I nod and arch my head back when he slowly slips down my body, leaving trails of kisses and tiny bite marks on his way down, touching every inch of my skin and giving me Goosebumps all over.
When he reaches my crotch, he looks up real quick, flicks the hair out of his face and asks me for permission with his eyes. I love that he still does that, even after all this time.
I nod once again and hold my breath, knowing exactly what comes next. The first touch of his tongue on the tip of my dick is as sweet as ever, and yeah, it’s been way too long.
I desperately want to reach down and curl my fingers into his dark hair but I know the game. It’s not my turn yet. Except it is so totally my turn because Gerard’s going down on me and he’s perfect at it. He sucks the tip in and laps at the pre-come, pulls off for a second and then goes down until his nose is brushing against my pubes. I still wonder how he does it. He tried to teach me, but I’ve never managed to go that far down on him without chocking.
Everything just starts to get all tingly and my muscles tighten in my belly when he pulls off again and asks me to bend my knees for him for better access. I do so willingly and though I know exactly what comes next, I still moan loudly when he starts to lick and suck at my balls, making needy sounds himself while doing so.
He spends a few minutes there and curls his hand around my dick every now and then but always stops just before I get a chance to come. He lets his fingers wander quite a lot today, up my belly and my sides, curls his palms around my sharp hipbones and digs his fingernails into the skin of my back when I accidentally arch off the bed with an embarrassing loud moan when his tongue reaches a spot it never has before. That spot happens to be my butt...well. My butthole actually. He has kissed and licked my buttcheeks before, but never, ever anywhere farther down than that and we’re both so shocked that he pulls away and raises his head to look at me with dark and lust filled eyes, his long strands a complete mess and there’s a soft flush on his cheeks and a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, just where his hairline starts.
My first impulse is to cover myself and look away out of sheer embarrassment and shame, but he makes no attempt to move away and the wild look on his face only turns into something more and I ease off again.
“Did you,” he starts and gulps, licking his lips absently, “I mean, did that actually feel good?”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a second and think about lying to him, telling him that I didn’t like it just so he doesn’t feel obligated to do it again, but there’s really no denying it. He’s heard my moan and saw my response so I might as well be honest and nod and try to catch my breath.
“Jesus,” he whispers, sounding more turned on than ever and I feel his palms, still under my back, wander down lower until he squeezes my buttcheeks in a swift move and then pulls his hands free, plastering them on my trembling thighs.
“Can I do it again?” he asks and I can’t help but huff a breathy laugh at that and shake my head amused on the pillow because seriously. That’s just such a Gerard thing again. Of course he wants to do that again, how did I ever doubt him and his wonderfully crazy mind.
I’m glad he’s asking though because while it did feel good, I have to ask myself if I really want him to lick anywhere near that part of my body. It just seems so strange to me, kind of wrong and yet so right. Maybe it’s a normal thing to do? I mean, why else would it feel good... But this can’t be pleasant for him, right? This is the most private part of my body, I mean, I do things with it. He’s aware of that, yet he still wants it, so in the end, I decide not to think about it too much and give him permission again and I’m rewarded with a brilliant smile that, again, relaxes me.
He gently spreads my still bent knees a bit further apart and grabs his pillow that’s lying next to my head, folds it in half and tucks it under my butt after asking me for permission again.
And okay, yeah now I’m really nervous. I might not have been this nervous since the very first time he touched me for real and he must sense that because he soothingly strokes over my legs and kisses my knees.
“You really sure this is okay?” he asks and scoots up a little, leaning his torso over my chest and looking me in the eye.
“Here,” he says gently and carefully grabs my wrists, that are still over my head, kisses them each and lays them down on either side of my hips on the mattress. I’m silently thankful for his act of thoughtfulness and to show him, I lift my chin up and catch his lips for a kiss.
“You can always say no if it gets too much, okay? But if this makes it any easier for you, I really want this. Like, Christ Mikes, you have no idea how much okay? I thought about it too, but I was too mortified to say anything and I wasn’t sure how you’d respond and I swear I didn’t do it on purpose just now, it kind of just happened and-“
“Gee!” I say with a tiny and amused smile and stop his rambling before it gets worse. “I said it’s okay so it is okay. I trust you and if you really want it, then that’s fine by me, promise.”
He smiles down at me again and looks relieved and turned on at the same time if that is even possible. Then he nods happily and slides down again but not without caressing my skin on the way there.
The first real touch of his tongue on my hole is shockingly relieving and feels like all of my nerves are located in this tiny area and it’s mind-blowing.
At first, he seems a bit shy about it, going really slowly and backing off every time I make a sound or my thighs and knees accidentally want to buck together around him. But the longer he does it, the more I’m able to relax and just let go which in return encourages him to go on and do more.
When I thought before that I was close to losing it, like, ever, then I was so horribly wrong. Because it’s the exact second right now; feeling his tongue pushing the muscle apart and slipping inside. It’s only a tiny bit, it can’t be deeper than maybe an inch at the most, but every last breath rushes out of my body and leaves me completely puddy.
My brain almost switches back to being totally embarrassed again, but that lasts only for a split second because he does it again and then again but goes deeper. I didn’t even notice one of my hands clutching at my thigh while the other is buried lightly in Gerard’s hair and I only notice now because he pulls off for a brief moment, saying, “You can push me down if you want, I don’t mind,” in that animalistic and deeply sexy sounding sex-voice of his.
And really, if he’d touch my dick just for one instant right now I’m sure I’d be gone, but he’s not and while all this licking feels incredible, it’s not enough to push me over the edge. But it might, if he keeps doing it because the more time he spends down there, the better he gets at it, experiences more, licks a long streak from behind my balls to my now weirdly loose hole, pushes his nose into the crook where my thigh meets my pubic bone and breathes hot and moist air all over that area and causes my knees to fall further apart.
I know he said I can push his head down with my hands, but it’s more like I’m ripping his hair out while my hips buck up against his face. I couldn’t stop the movement even if I wanted to, it’s too overwhelming and my body seems to be on autopilot while my brain has given up on me and only focuses on the wet lapping sounds and needy whines Gerard produces. The bucking of my hips is also probably caused by Gerard’s fingers, or well, his thumbs, that are pulling my buttcheeks apart. It’s like I have to work against his fingers to make it even better.
When I once again push my butt against his face, maybe a bit more stuttery and faster than before, one of his hands slips from its original position and causes one of his fingers, pointer finger, probably, to heavily slide over the puckered skin and inside my hole, just like his tongue earlier but this is different!
The new sensation causes me to gasp out loud and squeeze my eyes shut. “Did you,” I start and breathe heavily, my chest rising and falling fast and severely. “Did you think about that too?” I finally manage to ask and push down again, hoping for more friction. He hasn’t moved the finger out, too shocked to do anything, or God knows why. I’m too blissed out to open my eyes and look at him to maybe find out with the look on his face.
It can’t be in more than down to the first knuckle, but it’s thicker and stronger and the second the tip of the finger slid in, my body reacted and tried to dislodge the object by clenching down on it with the ring of my muscle and walls inside of me. It doesn’t exactly hurt like you’d probably expect. It stings a little, maybe, but in no way does it feel bad. In fact, it feels amazing and I want more of it.
“No,” I hear Gerard’s deep voice replying after a moment of him doing absolutely nothing but being frozen. I feel the rapid warm air when he breathes against my inner thigh and I’m tempted to reach further down to get his finger to move again, but I don’t.
“I haven’t even...I never even considered...do you-“ he starts to stutter and I think I just heard something like wonder or fascination or conclusion in his voice, but I can’t concentrate on that now. Maybe it’ll come back to me later.
He’s just about to pull the small bit he’s got his finger in out, but I’m fast to stop him. “No! No please keep going, don’t stop!”
“But I don’t want to hurt you, I’ve never-“
“Just trust me,” I say and I’m finally able to breathe relatively normal again. When he still doesn’t do anything, I open my eyes, tilt my head to the side and look down at him.
He’s not looking at me like I thought he would, but looks down at his hand and probably finger up my butt with dark and wide eyes. The embarrassment comes back to me, now that my brain calmed down a little and I almost want to tell him to look somewhere else, but I don’t. He looks too good like that and just thinking that causes my body to react and to clench down on his finger again while my dick twitches against my belly. That in return causes him to finally look up at me and I can’t handle it. I just can’t look at him when he looks so incredibly hot and turned on or else I’ll come on the spot without being touched at all.
“C’mon Gee, do something, please!” I don’t care if I sound desperate and whiny anymore. I need him to do something or I’ll lose my mind. I’ve been hard for too long now and I’m starting to feel dizzy. I hear him curse out some vulgar words as a response to what I just said and while I should find his choice of words rude and outrageous, my brain filters it as something amazing and great. Mother and Father would be disappointed at my thoughts.
I’m just preparing myself with a deep breath for him to continue when he does the opposite and pulls his finger out, much to my disliking but before I can protest, he cuts me off.
“I love that you’re so needy, but there’s no way I’m going to hurt you, so we’re doing this differently.”
He leans over my body and props one of his palms next to my head while the other is firmly curled around my hip. Then he smiles brightly at my confused face and leans down to kiss me. Just like his curse words I should find that wrong and nasty because he just had this very mouth and tongue down on my butt, but I can’t bring myself to care, not even when I make out a raw, musky, bitter taste that definitely is neither Gerard mouth or my pre-come. I know what both tastes like, and this is different. It’s not pleasant but it’s also by far not bad. Just...new.
The kiss is messy and slippery and our teeth clank together more than once, but it’s perfect. I don’t know what exactly he’s got in mind for this to continue, but I can tell that he’s excited because his erection, that is pressed against my hips, feels harder than my own.
I break the kiss with a gasp when he grinds our hips together and ask in a husky tone, “What d’you have in mind,” though it doesn’t come out like a question but more like a demand.
The grin I’m rewarded with is brilliant and turns into an almost devilish-like smirk when he lets go of my hip and strokes his way up my body until he reaches my chin with two separate fingers. I lay stock still and try to figure out what he wants, but I can’t read it in his eyes and I’m getting minutely more frustrated when he just grins again, his face so close to mine that I his dark strands tickle my face.
“Open up,” he finally offers and strokes the tips of his pointer and middle finger over my lower lip. And okay, I could have gotten that. Without breaking eye contact, I open my already slightly open mouth some more and allow his fingers entrance.
Not that I know where he’s going with this, but I like the act itself so I go along with it.
As soon as I start to suck on his fingers, Gerard’s grin turns quickly into this animalistic, turned on face again that always really does it for me. When he experimentally pushes the pads of his fingertips flat against my tongue and grinds his hips against mine at the same time, my eyes roll back inside my head and I moan around his fingers which only encourages him to curl them more inside my mouth. It feels strange because that way my mouth seems to produce more saliva than before.
“Don’t swallow!” he growls when he senses what I was about to do, pressing his nose against the side of my forehead and pushing his fingers in a little deeper up to his third knuckle and nearly choking me.
I obey his weird wish for a minute longer but I’m just about to ask him for a quick break so I can just breathe, but it seems like he’s reading my mind because a moment later he pulls the two fingers free and kisses me instead. It’s not a long kiss, just a quick and dirty peck on my upper lip, giving me the opportunity to finally swallow.
I feel him shift against me, flinging one of his legs over the knee of my left leg so he’s not exactly kneeling between my legs anymore, only leaving one of his legs between mine and the hand next to my head stays where it is, causing him to still lean over me. Then he uses the one leg he has tucked between my thighs to separate them more. That causes my left leg to stretch out against his but the other remains bend up.
“This okay?” he asks carefully and I’m just about to ask what he means when he strokes his spit coated fingertips against my hole, putting pressure on them but not yet pushing in.
I nod to let him know that this is more than okay and leave out a sigh when he presses down more and more. The spit feels a bit cold against my sensitive skin but it’s a nice sensation. “Still okay?” he asks again and I feel him separating the two fingers from one another so that only one flat tip is caressing the ring of my muscle. Another nod and I can’t help but let my eyes flutter shut. He repeats the circling motion for a while until finally, I can feel him putting on enough pressure to let the tip of his finger press the muscle apart and push in a bit.
To try to keep quiet, I was breathing through my nose up until this point, but when he slowly pushes in deeper and I feel his second knuckle push through, I give up and gasp loudly while my head lolls back against the pillow.
“Okay Mikey? Talk to me,” Gerard whispers breathlessly and even though I’m not looking I can feel his intense gaze on my face to make sure I don’t flinch in pain or worse.
“Keep going,” I say through gritted teeth and clutch one of my hands around his bicep when he pushes in deeper until he’s all the way in.
I can feel my body working against the finger inside of me, trying to press it out but after a moment I’m able to relax and slacken my entire lower region. Now I know why Gerard made me suck on his fingers so much because it wasn’t hard at all to slip inside like that. How’d he know that? I thought he had no experience with this. Another thing for later to ask because right now I’m trying to catch my breath.
“Does it hurt?” Gerard asks with a surprisingly strong voice and since I don’t want him to be concerned, I open my eyes to look at him and even manage to form a smile in my turned-on state.
I shake my head no and when he slowly moves to pull his finger back out, my eyes squeeze together on their own accord again. It doesn’t hurt really, it stings, sure, but it’s not bad once you get used to it. The stretch is maybe a little weird but I have a feeling that it can be really nice if you do it more often.
Just when I think that he wants to pull out entirely, he pushes back in, and faster as last time as well. The move is so sudden and unexpected that my hips snap up and that causes my dick to brush against his side where he leans slightly on me.
“Ahhh yeah, do that again,” I manage to choke out between a gasp and an embarrassingly loud moan.
“Damn Mikey, I...” Gerard moans right back and crushes his mouth against mine while finding a steady rhythm with his finger working inside my butt and his crotch grinding against the bone of my hip.
The feeling is amazing but it’s not as pleasuring as when my dick is being touched. I’m even surprised to find my erection softening slightly but I’m okay with that. Maybe it’s better that way because five minutes earlier I was ready to come with just one touch and while that would be obviously amazing, I don’t want this to be over just yet.
After a while, I find myself pushing back down on his finger every time he pushes in and the feeling is incredible and I want more but I just don’t know how. I’m growing frustrated and Gerard must sense it, too, because he slows his movement and places his mouth over my ear to whisper, “We can try another one,” which goes straight to my dick.
To show him that I want to try that, I squeeze the hand that is still fisted around his upper arm and take a deep breath to untighten myself around his finger.
This time, it does hurt. But still not so much that it makes me want to stop. I’m trying really hard to hide it, but once Gerard’s second finger is inside of me up to the third knuckle, I must pull a pained face because Gerard looks at me alarmed and moves to pull out, but I stop him in the last second.
“No, wait! Let me get used to it,- just wait a second,” I say through once again gritted teeth and I can tell that Gerard’s not happy with my decision but he obeys and leans down to gently kiss me.
The kiss does help immensely and after a minute or two, I can feel myself relaxing again. “I’m trusting you here, Mikey,” Gerard says seriously when he pulls away and looks at me through worried and but still dark eyes. His words make me smile and feel happy and loved and cared for. It must be hard for him to see me in pain, knowing he’s the one who caused it, even if I gave him permission to do what he’s doing right now.
To show him how much his trust means to me, I tangle my free hand in the hair on the back of his head and pull him down for another kiss. The kiss grows from gentle and slow to rushed and heated and soon we’re both gasping for air. “You can move,” I say and I’m surprised at how easy it works this time. It only stings for a little while longer but soon the pain is gone completely and it feels even better than with just one finger.
Just like last time, I start to push back against his fingers and he even goes as far as moving his fingers inside of me while pushing in and out. He didn’t do that when it was just one and it makes the biggest difference. The stretch is perfect and I’m surprisingly relaxed. So much even, that I let the leg that is bent up fall to the side in the exact same moment that Gerard pushes in on a fast thrust and curls his fingers, causing me to cry out in pleasure and arching my back.
“Ahhhh, hhha- do that again!”
I’m not able to open my eyes but once again I can feel his eyes on me, this time wild and glassy with lust and fascination. He repeats the move, pushes his fingers just right against the spot that caused me to moan out loud and the feeling is even stronger this time because he stops thrusting his fingers but more like rubs his crooked fingers against that spot.
“God, yes..uhhhhhhh,” I groan out and this time, I can feel myself getting hard again. Pretty fast actually, and Gerard must see it too because he nuzzles his nose against my cheek and breathes hotly against the skin there.
“Jesus Mikey, you- I need to,” he starts and suddenly sits up on his heels, carefully as to not accidentally rip his fingers out of my butt, and squeezes his free hand in a tight grip around his erection that is still hidden behind the loincloth. He’s leaking, I can see it on the fabric and with shaky fingers, he removes the knot that holds the underwear together and throws it next to him on the ground before gripping around his length again.
He’s trying to hold back, I know that grip. It’s just a squeeze to calm down and hold back a bit longer. It’s such a sight to see him so blissed out and touching himself and with his fingers still working inside of me, going back to thrusting them in and out quickly now that his position has changed.
And that’s when I get it. This is how we’re able to sleep together. I’m reminded of the conversation we had ages ago about sex and how women and men do it but were at a loss when it came to two men wanting to commit the same act.
It was so obvious all this time. Well, it could have been if we would have thought about it just a little differently. I don’t think Gerard as put the two together yet so to get his attention, I reach down and curl my sweaty palm around his hip.
He immediately opens his eyes and looks down at me, stilling both his fingers inside of me and the grip on his erection. “Pull out for a sec,” I say in a quiet and hopefully calm sounding voice when his eyes widen and he looks like he hurt me.
Once his fingers are out, I feel strangely empty and lose and to change that as fast as possible, I pull him down by his arm and move us around until he’s fully on top of me like earlier when we started. He still got a quizzically look on his face and he looks so adorable like that, with his eyebrows raised and his lips curled into this confused and helpless little smile.
“Mikey?” he asks eventually and to show him what I want rather than to say it, because yeah okay, I’m a bit embarrassed about that again, I reach down with one hand so I can grab his dick and direct it to my hole. I can see the exact second he gets what I want to do because his eyes widen and his mouth falls open.
“Wait wait wait, hang on- what are you doing?!”
“Isn’t that obvious?” I ask and brush the tip of his dick over my butthole teasingly, ready to push it in but Gerard moves his hips back which causes me to lose the grip on him.
“What are you doing?” I ask, suddenly concerned and unsure at his infuriated gaze. Doesn’t he want me?
He sees the look on my face and his features immediately soften and he leans down to brush a kiss on my mouth. “Hey...look at me,” he says gently when I look down ashamed after he pulls back from the kiss. “Come on Sweetie, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m sorry. Please look at me?”
I can’t, because he only ever calls me by this nickname when something is really going bad and this is a vulnerable situation for the both of us.
“I just thought...” I start to mumble out but stop with a shrug of my shoulders.
“This’ll hurt a lot, Mikey... I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Gerard offers, and while I know that he truly means his words and that he’s afraid of hurting me, I can sense that now that I put the option of doing it this way out there, that he wants it. Or thinks about it, at least. He can be either completely predictable or absolutely not. This is not one of those times.
“It’ll be okay. We’ll go slow yeah? Just like you did last time, it didn’t hurt once you had em’ both in.”
He still looks concerned, but I can tell that he’s thinking about it. “I don’t know..”
“I have an idea!” I say and ask him to sit up and scoot up until he’s almost straddling my face. “To make it easier,” I giggle, a little mortified by my own actions of pulling him up here to straddle my face, but maybe it will calm him down a bit. It did last time, so why not try it again, right?
He looks down at me funnily, apparently amused himself by my boldness and not concerned about his explosion in the slightest, but before he can say anything about it, I push him forward with a hand on his buttcheek and curl the other hand around the base of his erection before pulling him in my mouth. Or well, rather pushing him down from this angle.
Whatever he wanted to say gets lost in a high-pitched moan and he squeezes his eyes shut while I have to work really hard not to grin too much with his dick in my mouth. God, he’s such a dork, I love him.
Obviously, the purpose of this blowjob was to get him coated with saliva to make things easier down there, but I almost get too lost in blowing him. It’s just so good and I haven’t done it in a while and I could seriously go on for hours, especially from this angle, (note for later), but it’s not my intention for Gerard to come, which he is about to do any minute now if I don’t stop. So that’s what I’m doing and I’m rewarded with a whiny protesting sound, but I just smirk up at him and give him a slap on the butt.
He shrieks at that and says, “Fine, fine. Urgh, you’re such a tease!”
“I am?!” I say and prop myself up on my elbows, watching him as he settles back between my legs.
“Well...” he says in that funny high-pitched voice, making it sound more like a confused question than a cocky reply to my words, but he grins sheepishly and I know that this time we will try it.
“Are you really sure?” he asks after a moment of just sitting between my spread legs a little helplessly and I feel actually a bit bad for putting him in that position. I know he’s afraid of hurting me and I have to admit I’m a little scared myself, but I know we both want it. Just thinking about him being inside of me makes me keen.
I reach down and adjust the pillow he put under my butt and when I’m done, I curl my hand around his wrist to pull him up towards me to kiss him. “I’m sure. And we can always stop. And...you’ll go slow, yeah?” Now I’m getting really nervous, but I can do this.
Gerard’s nervous features soften at my words and he brushes the bangs out of my eyes with his fingers. Then he smiles sweetly and says, “I’ll do exactly what you tell me, okay?”
I nod my head and when I pull him down for another kiss, one of his hands wanders down my body, stopping here and there to pinch my nipples or to scratch his fingernails bluntly through the hair on my belly before his touch disappears completely. But only for a moment, because the next thing I feel is the wet tip of his erection against my entrance and I force myself to calm down.
“’M scared,” Gerard admits in a whisper right against my mouth, his eyes are squeezed together tightly and his lower lip trembles slightly.
“Me too,” I say honestly and I’m surprised when he opens his eyes at my words to look at me with so much emotion that my belly starts to tingle. We share that moment of love, trust and adoration for a bit longer and just like that, I’m completely calm and I can tell that the same goes for him. I think it’s good that we admit that we’re both scared of this, it’s good, to be honest, and open.
I take another deep breath and reach one of my hands down to stroke over the small of his back, telling him that way that I’m ready, and he understands. As soon as he puts a little pressure against my hole with his dick and I feel the muscle parting again, my eyes shut close on their own accord and both of my hands fly up to clutch at his bicep and shoulder.
He pushes further and further until the head of his erection slips inside with a blob and the arm Gerard was supporting himself on gives out beneath him and he falls flat against my chest, his face against my neck and his free hand curling around my strands.
We both gasp at the feeling, me in unexpected pain but Gerard definitely in pleasure. It doesn’t hurt enough to stop yet, but it’s super weird and uncomfortable. The stretch so much more than when he had just his fingers inside. But okay, what was I expecting. Gerard’s dick is bigger than mine and definitely bigger than just two of his fingers.
He stays still for a moment, giving me time to adjust, and when I tell him that he can keep going he uses the hand he had on his dick to pull my hips up a little more before he once again puts pressure on and slides in further.
I ask him to stop three times total on the way in but I just can’t help it. It hurts a lot! The stretch isn’t even the worst, it’s more like the feeling of being so unnaturally full in an area that you probably shouldn’t be. Gerard stops every single time I tell him to and looks at me concerned, even asks me if he should pull out again and just forget it, but I tell him no. I want this and I know the pain has to stop eventually.
Every now and then I’m forcing my eyes to open to check if he is okay as well, but judging from the way he crushes his eyes together, the way he blushes so deeply and even bites his lips every few seconds, I can tell that this is really good for him.
So good even that it’s a struggle for him not to just thrust in all at once but he’s holding himself together for me.
As if on cue to what I was thinking just now, he stutters out, “I can’t Mikes, I don’t-“ against the side of my cheek and I feel both the hand in my hair and on my hip tighten. Even though the pain is still prominent, I curl my trembling thighs around his hips and use one of my feet to push him all the way in in a quick motion until I feel his balls against my skin.
“Ahhhhh,” we both moan at the same time and Gerard curses against my skin when I feel myself clenching around him. It hurts, but now that he’s all the way in I have to admit that I like it. I was never one to argue about a little bit of pain and now that he’s fully inside of me, all hot and twitching every few seconds, my body adjusts to his size and it’s good.
“Mikey,” Gerard breathes shakily and moist against my jaw and I feel his fingernails digging into the skin of my hip, probably to hold himself back from pulling out and snapping back in again. “How do you feel,” he asks through gritted teeth but it barely sounds like a question. His voice is wrecked but so is mine when I say, “’Feel okay, s’ just a lot, you’re kinda big but it feels good...you okay?”
Gerard huffs a half-moan-half-laugh out when I say that and mutters something like, “I’m great,” against my collarbone before he lifts his head a little to look at me.
“Move,” I say to him while looking him directly in the eye and I’m picturing the way he looks right now in my Gerard-Stash for later because he looks so unbelievably hot that I have to pull him down for another kiss. He goes willingly and just as he slips his tongue into my mouth, he pulls his hips back slightly only to shove them back against me. We both gasp into each other’s mouths and out teeth crack together on the next thrust.
The pain does subside after a little while but stays at a certain level and I guess that it’ll stay that way, but it’s okay. It’s definitely manageable and soon Gerard finds a steady rhythm. He accidentally pulls back too far a few times and slips out, but I actually like the feeling of being stretched apart from the beginning.
He continues to pound into me and at some point, my head must have fallen back into the pillow because he’s sucking on my neck and collarbone, probably leaving some marks there. Actually, he might have pulled my head back to expose my neck because his hand is still buried in my hair in a tight grip and he knows how much I love having my hair pulled.
Every now and then, one of us moans or gasps and the room smells so much like sex already, the air hot and used, that my head starts to swim.
“How’s it feelin’,” Gerard blabbers out, repeating his words from before after snapping his hips back in with a hard thrust and licks a trail from my collarbone to my jaw at the same time.
“Like sex,” I gasp back at him and he bites down on my jaw with a low groan.
His next move is unexpected and my head swims even more when he suddenly wraps an arm around my lower back and rolls us around so that I’m straddling him and the exact second I’m completely vertical on top of him, the weight of my own body pushes me down even more on his dick and it’s so deep and hot that I have to brace my palms on his chest or else my body would give up.
“Jesus Christ Gerard!” I whisper out in shock with a set jaw and low hanging head, trying to remember how to breathe.
“This okay?” he asks and struggles once again to stay still, curls his palms around my hips instead and I can feel that there are grains of sand sticking to our sweaty skin and it itches and stings but I love it.
I nod dumbly and dig my fingertips into his chest when I sit back properly and arch my back a little which pushes him in deeper once again and he pushes up and this time my head lolls back because there’s that spot again!
“Ahhhh yes, yes do that again!” I moan out and breathe heavily through my open mouth.
“There?” Gerard groans and snaps his hips up again, holding me up a little by my hips.
“Yeah! Yeah, God- I,”
“You feel so damn tight Mikey. Look so hot and pretty like- Ahhhh Lord,- like that!”
When he says these words and moans when I start to meet his thrust in a steady rhythm, one of my hands slips from his chest and curls around my dick that is so hard that it almost hurts to touch. I can feel a drop of sweat run down the dip of my back and the backsides of my knees are sweating as well as the back of my neck.
When I force my eyes open for just one little moment, I look down at Gerard’s palms around my sharp hipbones, watches the way he pulls me up and down slightly and how his fingernails leave little red half-moons on my skin. Then I look at my own hand around my dick, noticing both Gerard’s and my dark pubes, and how I’m barely able to pump myself because my limbs start to burn but in the most amazing way. Lastly, I let my gaze wander up to Gerard’s face, watch closely as he licks his lips and crushes his eyes together in a way that looks almost painful, his eyebrows arched beautifully and his mouth curled open in a way that all his dirty little moans and gasps can slip out.
After a while, I decide to change something and switch my bouncing to low and deep rocking and that’s even better because that way he brushes almost every time against this really good spot, whatever it is and more importantly, whatever it’s doing in there! Gerard notices the change of events and slowly lets one hand go from my waist and curls it gracefully over his head instead, fisting the pillow I had my head on earlier. The other hand stays on my waist and helps me move forward and back again.
“You’re beautiful,” I state, sounding almost surprised by the sound of my own amazed voice. Not that I didn’t know he was beautiful already, but there’s something about this moment right here, him being so open and trusting and blissed out, with his hair a mess and beautifully arched neck and yeah, I love how his dark armpit hair stands out on his otherwise white skin and how he makes those little “ah-ah-ah” noises whenever I grind down on him.
He doesn’t say anything back at my statement but curls his lips into a gorgeous smile and I can’t not; I lean down and kiss those exact lips and feel him smile against my own. He tangles his fingers in my hair at the back of my head and tilts his head to the side, deepening the kiss and breathing heavily through his nose, much like me.
Leaning on him like this is yet another different angle and position and when I leave his mouth to kiss and nibble at the skin behind his ear, he snaps his hips up fast and hard, creating a loud slapping sound that my brain directs straight down to my dick.
He holds that pace for a while until I feel muscles tightening around him, the hand on my length jerking faster and my breath coming rapidly against his skin.
“I can feel, God- I can feel you coming,” Gerard gasps and slaps his hips up even faster, pushing his dick in deeper with every thrust. And maybe only 5 thrusts later I’m doing just that.
I squeeze my dick hard and moan wetly against his neck, my teeth pressing against the moist skin there and nose squished somewhere in between the mess. My cum lands on Gerard’s belly and slips down my fist, my muscles clenching relentlessly around him and I have to wonder if it might hurt him, but he moans loudly and I know it feels good for him. But then suddenly he makes a move to pull out of me, probably because he’s not sure if he can come inside of me, but I don’t want him to pull out at all!
“Don’t you dare! I wanna feel it,” I say breathless and sit back up in a straight position and thrust my hips down on his, even propping myself up on my palms on his upper thighs behind of me to get a better angle.
He looks up at me for only a moment before his eyes roll back inside his head and his hips start to stutter. I can feel the exact second he comes because I can feel him jerk inside of me and how he shoots his come against my walls. This has got to be the hottest moment of my life so far. He arches his back and it’s almost too deep again, almost too much since I’m all sensitive and in my post-orgasm glow, but then his hips slow down, his hand slips from my waist and he takes a deep breath to come back to himself.
Before he softens entirely, I carefully lift myself up and let him slide out, not minding how wet and sticky we both feel, and fall sated down next to him on the mattress.
“So that was something,” I say through a happy yawn after a long moment of comfortable silence and tuck my nose into the crook of his neck and shoulder.
“That was something, yeah,” Gerard agrees with a tiny giggle and kisses the sweat-damp hair over my ear before burying his nose in there. “You know what? You just lost your virginity to me!”
“Oh my God, you’re the worst!” I say and can’t help but laugh a little before adding, “But yeah, you’re right. And you, Mr., just lost your virginity to me as well!”
“Mhh...yeah...wouldn’t want it any other way, Jesus what a birthday present...” he says in a dreamy voice and starts to gently stroke over my side. “I didn’t hurt you though, did I?”
“Nah,” I say and bury my nose deeper against his skin. “I’m perfect, promise.”
“’M glad, then,” he mumbles, sounding close to sleep but then he adds, “Where are the girls, anyway? They’ve been out the entire time we’ve been in here.”
“Yeah well, I guess they didn’t want to see their dads getting it on,” I say and shriek when Gerard playfully slaps me on the shoulder.
“Who the hell says ‘getting it on’?!”
“I do!” I say with a grin and prop myself up on one elbow to look at him, only to find him grinning equally big as me.
“Dork! Now come on Twee, we should check on them before they plot something while we’re not looking.”
“Alright, but I’m not getting dressed!” I say loudly after him when he’s already out of the door.
“Fine by me!” he calls back happily and I follow him outside with the biggest smile on my face and a nicely sore butt that I’m sure I’ll feel for a while, but I couldn’t think of anything better at this exact moment in time.
God... I love my life.

Notes