Hurt Me More

Frank's pov

I watched Gerard for a few moments before turning my attention to the tv. The movie was good, I had to admit but Gerard held my attention more. Glancing at him every once in a while as he watched the movie and drank from his bottle.

His raven bangs hung over his left eye, the onesie that he was in make him look so cute. He always looks cute.

I watched as a few tears slid down his pale cheeks. He quickly turned away and wiped his face with his sleeves. I could tell that he was silently crying with the way his body shook. His attention wasn't on the movie anymore but now on his lap. His hands balled into fists as he finally lost it. My heart broke when I heard his weak sob leave his lips.

"Shh Gee, it's okay." I said softly, gently picking him up and setting him on my lap so he was facing me. He struggled a little before giving up, sobbing into my chest. "I know, let it all out." I soothed, rubbing his back and petting his hair.

"I-I wanna g-go to bed." He whimpered through sobs, clinging to my shirt so tightly that his knuckles where turning white.

"Okay, lets get you up to bed." I said softly, turning the tv off and grabbing his almost full bottle. Knowing it would help him go to bed faster I carried Gerard into the kitchen with me and made him a new bottle of warm milk.

Then I carried him upstairs and into the nursery. Gently setting him down in his bed and pulling the soft blanket over him.

"Here." I said, gently pressed the bottle to his lips. He took it after a moment, holding it in one hand as he played with the edge of the blanket. I smiled and walked over to the shelf turning the night light on. The gently glow of the light gave the room a more comfortable vibe.
Seeing the stuffed panda I took it and set it in the crib close to Gerard who was falling asleep already. Whispering a small 'goodnight' I closed the door and walked into my office. Doing some paperwork before I became tired and went to bed in my room.

~~~~~

"No."
The baby monitor woke me up, small sobs could be heard making me awake right away. Hurrying to Gerard's room I turned the lamp on so it wasn't too bright in there. Gerard was still asleep but he was obviously having a nightmare.

"Please stop." He whimpered as he hugged the stuffed panda to his chest. Tears streamed down his face as another sob left his lips. He looked so helpless and lost.

"Gee, shh baby, it's okay." I said, scooping him up as I started walking around the room. Swaying us gently making him settle down. Wiping his tears away I smiled down at the small boy. Rubbing his cheek before kissing his forehead.

Gently setting back down in his crib I got a pacifier and popped it into his mouth. Gerard instantly started sucking on it, little clicking noises leaving his lips.

"Goodnight, Gee." I said softly before leaving the room. Leaving the door slightly cracked just in case as I went back into my room. My mind drifting to Gerard.

I'm in stage two of slipping him into little space. I need to make him feel safe so I won't be spanking him. Time outs and taking things away will be the punishments for now. Once he's in little space I will punish him regularly.

I can tell he's getting close, he just won't let his guard down. But today I saw a different side to Gerard. He cried in front of me because I called him a nickname. It triggered something inside of him, he wouldn't have freaked out like that if it didn't affect him. I don't know everything from his past but I know some things.

His parents were abusive, his dad was an alcoholic, his mom was a druggy. He has a brother but I couldn't find any information about him. I don't know anything else about his family besides that. He has depression and has a problem with controlling his anger.
But I can tell that he's a good kid, he just doesn't know how to handle his emotions. His anger gets the best of him at times. Theses a lot that we still need to work out but I have a lot of time. I still have a full two months and I have the rest of this month as well. That's enough time to help Gee.

Looking at my phone I noticed it was 3am so I got back into bed and fell asleep. Thinking about how I could help Gerard open up to me more.

~~~~~

I woke up to a loud bang and a loud cry of pain. Jumping out of bed I ran to Gerard's room and gasped. The crib was knocked over, Gerard looked like he rolled when it fell leaving him in the middle of the room cradling his head between his knees.

"Gerard, are you okay?" I asked in concern, running over to him and gently scooping him up.

"Hit m-my head..." He sniffled, I nodded and took him to the bathroom. Setting him down on the chair in the corner as I got some stuff to help with his head.

"Let me see." I said and cupped face in my hand and I tilted his head back a little. Looking him over I found no cuts and no blood so that was good. "How did the crib fall over?"

"I-I was uh... Trying to g-get out." Gerard admitted, rubbing his head making himself wince in pain.

"That's bad, Gerard, you're getting a time out after breakfast and your bottle." I said sternly as I picked him up again and brought him into his room.

"It's not my fault, I was so bored." He snapped angrily as I clipped him onto the changing table and smirked when I noticed that his nappy was wet. His face turned red as I chuckled and cleaned him up before putting him in a clean nappy and putting him in a kitten onesie. The hood had ears on it and he looked so adorable.

"I hate you!" He yelled, he hasn't stopped yelling and thrashing as I changed his nappy and dressed him. I ignored him, letting his tire himself out before I brought him downstairs.
"Oh, I almost forgot, my friend will be watching you for a bit while I take care of some family business." I said as I strapped him into his high chair as he protested.

"Fuck that."

"Gerard, I will not tolerate that kind of language. Now apologize." I said sternly as I stared at him. I watched as he shrunk away, not making eye contact as he mumbled an apology.

"Sorry..."

"Good boy, now let's get something in that cute belly of uses." I said watching as he blushed profusely.

Notes

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