The Fight

My eyes flutter open to view a white room. Heaven? Nah I'm gay. Then I notice the nurse outside my window. Oh, I'm in a hospital. Rad. The sarcasm in my thoughts is too, painful. To my left sits a giant bouquet of many coloured roses and a single black one. Beside them, is my iPhone and I quickly click the button to display the time. 10:53am and 48 text messages and 61 missed calls; Donna and Donald, Gerard and Mikey's Parents; Mikey and his wife Alicia, Ray and his wife Christa, Bob, Brian and even Lindsey. So it seems I have only been out for a few hours. I thought longer but no. At least I was now aware of the amount of people who care about me.

"Gerard!" I head a female nurse call down the hallway. Her voice was then followed by the tapping of his feet running to my room.
"Frank. Don't fucking scare me like that. Are you fucking insane? The doctors told me I could have lost you. Fuck Frank!"

I stayed silent, looking down at my bandaged wrists and beneath the gown, my bandaged stomach. I watched the tears fall and no desire came to stop them, nor would it. Gerard grabbed my hand, squeezing it tightly, before bringing it to his lips. Blood lay beneath my fingernails.
"I'm sorry," Gerard whispered. "Was it Lindsey?"

I nodded and pointed a finger at him warily.

"Me too?" He questioned. Again I nodded, refusing to speak.
"Frank...I love you."
I leaned into Gerard and kissed his neck gently, feeling his arms wrap me tightly.

"Please don't hurt yourself. I've never seen so many stitches."

I was a little shocked at his words for I hadn't seen what I'd done. "Gee," I whispered. Gerard released me from his hug and stared into my eyes.
"I love you, I'm sorry."

"Oh Frankie, it's okay. It's okay. I am sorry all this happened."

"Maybe...we just...shouldn't have sex." There I said it. In my head I knew it was wrong, but I had to. I don't think I've ever seen his facial expression change so instantly.

"What do you mean? I mean, if you want to wait that's fine but if not, what do you mean?Like...permanently?"

I nodded. "Permanently. Clearly we shouldn't be together."

"Frank, do you really love me? I know you just said it, but do you?"

"Yes. Of course." I replied.

"Then we are together. Lindsay and I, it's over. For good."

"I'm sorry Gee. I am just not the kind of boyfriend you want in life."

"You're wrong Frank. I fucking love you with all my heart. I want sex with you. I want hugs and kisses and bad romance films. I want to cuddle watching horrors. I want to raise Bandit with you. Please... I want us to have a life together. We can work through everything."

I felt the tears well up again as I fell into Gerard, clinging onto his t-shirt for dear life.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," he soothed,kissing my head over and over again.

~xoxoxoxo~

Notes

This story is so old and as I post it I'm not sure how I feel about it.
Comment. Subscribe. Vote
Stay tuned.
Over and Out.
xoxo Chemical Halo