The Fight

I thrust my hands deep into the pockets of my black skinnies, concentrating on trying to control my erratic shakes as tears try desperately to escape. My head hangs low, my long dark fringe obscuring my face. I want to make eye contact but its a terrible time. I have it in me to run but I know he won't let me, so instead I am forced to stay and listen to the screams, those of which I am the cause of.

"How could you? What the actual fuck?" Lindsey screams at the top of her lungs. "How could you take what you have and lose that for another man; a fucking short-ass boy. I thought you loved me."

"Once upon a time I did, Lindsey," I head him whisper. He was never one for screaming matches, I know that much about him. I think I can even guess what color underwear he is wearing today. But wait, I already know, which is kind of the reason we are standing here in the kitchen. Gerard continued, "How fucking dare you call him a boy. Short, sure, but he is more of a man than you could ever be a woman.'

"What happened for it to change so fucking dramatically? What about Bandit? She's your daughter. Are you just going to get up and leave her?"

The pitch of her screams are terrifying and I choose that exact moment to look up and see two beautiful hazel eyes staring back at me and then suddenly it's raining, pouring. Heavy and continuous, my tears fall.

"Lindsey, don't scream at me. Please. I would never just leave Bandit. I love her and looking after her is something I don't need you to do. I can do it without you."

"Fuck off! You're a fucking faggot. You are gay. Leave. GO! Get your gay ass and you're little boyfriend and piss off!"

"Linds, look at what you're doing," his hand motioning towards me.

"Gerard," I squeaked.

"Look," Gerard continued. "I love Bandit. She's my daughter and nothing will stop me from loving her, But you don't care about me or my pain pr the help I need."

"Of course I care and help is something you definitely need. I mean, you're fucking gay."

"Judging sexuality...real mature. And I used to think I was bi-sexual, but yeah I guess you're right. I'm gay. But I think you are forgetting the time you tried to get with him when we first got married. The only reason you didn't sleep together was because he kept telling you he was gay. But that didn't exactly stop you from trying, did it? You didn't believe him."

Oh great, my sexuality...DAMNIT! Leave me out of this. I thought, although I truly knew that it was impossible for that to happen. If I wasn't hear, this six.a.m. fight wouldn't be occurring.

"That's different, because we didn't," she tried to justify weakly. I laughed on the inside, although in reality the tears were still streaming down my red cheeks.

"But you tried! I love how it's a different story when the shoe is on the other foot. You hypocritical slut. Don't think I don't know that you tried sleeping with everyone."

"What do you mean?"

"Don'f fucking act innocent Lindsey. Brian, he told me anything. Our manager...you grabbed our manager. Keep your hands off him."

"Don't tell me what to do. Do you like him too? Oh but of course you do."

"No,"

"Why didn't you ever tell me your best friend was gay. All the years I knew him and you didn't tell me. How long have you known Gerard? Hmm?

"Because it's not my place to say. I've known since I was 19. Even when you found out you tried again anyway." Gerard's tone still soft. watched him touch his silver band and slide it from his finer, placing it on the counter, before turning to me and extending his arm. "Frank."

I stared a brief moment, contemplating. I shoved his arm and ran to what we called 'our bedroom', which was technically the spare room, slamming the door and locking it. I scurry to the bedside table and open it, pushing past the condoms and lube to retrieve a first aid kit from the back. Upon opening it, I pull out my favourite razor and some bandages although I know they'll be useless. I take my razor and pause when the blade is pressed to my skin, thinking a quick moment before dragging it across.

~xoxoxoxo~

My back falls heavy against the wall, my arms feeling lifeless the rest of my body. Finally the banging stops and I see Gerard spring towards me as my eyes begin to close.

Notes

Comment. Subscribe. Vote.
Over and out.
xoxo Chemical Halo