Roller Rink Rebels
Of Memories and Nurse's Offices
AUGUST
Frank and I live across an ally from each other. The ladder leaning against the side of my house can stretch between my bedroom window and his. We’d only tried that once, decided it was too dangerous, and moved on to alternative methods. Now, if my mom doesn’t move the garbage pins, I can crawl out my window, drop down onto them and then crawl back up the terrace. I don’t think either of our parents cares if the other stays over, it just feels way cooler to sneak around.
Tonight should feel like any other night, but it doesn’t. My eyes drift around Frank’s small bedroom as I try to get my brain to remember every detail. My best friend’s bed is shoved into the corner. We broke his bedframe in middle school during an intense debate on who won candy land. His parents never replaced it, leaving him to sleep on a mattress on the floor. He collected enough milk crates to set it on top of now. We spent an entire day this summer zip tying them together. Frank’s walls are littered with posters, ticket stubs, and pictures. His most prized possession, a black and white Les Paul Epiphone, sits on its stand next to the bed. The instrument, found in the used guitar shop downtown, cost him a few months’ wages. The gaming system and television are shoved into the corner. Clothes, shoes and other clutter is strewn across the floor. Frank and I practically grew up in this room. It’s weird to think about all this stuff not being here in a few months.
“So -” Frank says, passing a bag of M&Ms to me, “- this Gerard dude, should I be jealous?”
“Ew, no,” I answer back, scrunching up my nose as I chew. “I told you I wasn’t making any new friends. He’s just a kid in my class. If I had a choice I’d change my schedule to avoid him, but Mr. Reese only offers art one period.”
“Besides the vampire look, what’s so wrong with him that you can’t at least try and be friends with him?” Frank questions, flopping backward across his mattress.
I shift around, placing a green candy on Frank’s chin, “Nothing. I don’t even know him. He’s not you, Frank.”
My best friend lets out a sigh as I place another M&M on his forehead, “Making yourself miserable isn’t going to make me decide to not go to college, Liz.”
“I’ve got Jimmy and Lacey and whatever loser freshman works over the summer.”
Frank rolls his eyes, taking the chocolates I’d placed on his face off before motioning for me to lay with him. I stick the bag of M&Ms on the floor, curling up with my head on Frank’s flannel covered shoulder. “Jimmy is a 30-year-old pot addict. Lacey is so strung out that most days she can’t tell a person from a cow. Those aren’t the kind people I want you to replace me with. Give this vampire kid a chance, maybe he’ll surprise you.”
“If I agree to give him a chance will you shut up about me making friends?” I question, giving my best friend a wink.
“If, and only if, you actually try,” Frank answers with a smile.
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I contemplate Frank’s deal, “I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t bit your lip like that,” Frank says.
“Why? Does it make you wanna do bad things to me, Mr. Iero?” I joke, giving him a wink.
“Liz,” Frank answers, an error of warning in his tone as if he’s genuinely worried about where this conversation could be going.
“That wasn’t an answer,” I respond, flipping over and crawling closer to Frank.
“I have a girlfriend.”
“We could change that.” I give my best friend a wink, leaning forward as if I’m going to kiss him. At the last second, I move my head to the left, running my tongue over his cheek.
The dark haired boy lets out a squeak of surprise, jolting forward and knocking our foreheads together. I lean back, pressing my palm to the point of impact, more stunned than hurt. Frank pulls his sleeve up, wiping away my spit, a big goofy smile on his face. There is a familiar sparkle in his eyes. For a second everything feels like it used to before college, before Jaclyn, before everything got so complicated. “You’re such a little freak. Why am I friends with you?”
I grin down at Frank, “Because I was the only one willing to help you sneak extra pudding cups at nature camp.”
Frank and I met in the fifth grade. My parents were going through a divorce so my mom sent me to a summer camp to keep me away from the fighting occurring at home. I hadn’t wanted to go, not at all interested in spending four whole weeks stuck outside learning about different types of animals and trees. Frank was the first person I met. He was sitting alone on a rock by the lake. I went right up to him and introduced myself. He pushed me into the lake. I spent the next two weeks of the program seeking him out. Anytime there was a partner event I made sure to choose him. Eventually, he gave me an ultimatum, help him steal a case of pubbing from the camp kitchen or leave him alone. We both got sent home a week early, but in hindsight, it was worth it. Frank often muses about how we’d never met before camp despite living across the alley from each other. I’m convinced that, if we hadn’t met exactly when and how we did, the two of us wouldn’t be where we are now.
“I’d say sorry for getting you sent home early, but we both know you fucking hated that camp,” Frank answer back with a laugh. “Are you staying here tonight?”
“Duh. Are we going to Todd’s party on Friday?”
Frank rolls his eyes scooting over in the bed so that we can both lay down, “Duh.”
The rest of the week passes quickly. Jimmy, who is used to Todd having his annual beginning of school party, gives me Friday off. Gerard seems to have gotten the hint. He leaves me alone for the most part, only commenting on my art project a few times. We’ve fallen into a comfortable silence during lunch period, only exchanging a head nod as the other sits. Just as I’m starting to think this school year might not be a complete waste, Frank throws me a curve ball.
“You should invite Gerard to Todd’s party,” he says Friday as I sit down next to him in study hall. I have half a mind to get up and walk out.
“No.”
“I’ll accept that answer if you can give me two good reasons,” Frank answers with a smug smile, throwing his legs over my lap, hang digging into my backpack to grab out the M&Ms I’d stolen from him earlier in the week. Goddamn him for knowing me so well.
“He probably doesn’t want to come and I don’t want to,” I assert, glancing over at my best friend to see his reaction. He looks less than impressed with my rationale. “Besides, Gerard and I have worked out how to co-exist. Inviting him out might upset the balance too much.”
Frank rolls his eyes, swallowing hard, “Those are very lame reasons, Liz.”
“Why do you want me to invite him so bad anyway? Todd’s parties are kinda our thing.”
A sigh, fingers run through too long hair tugging at the roots a little. There’s something Frank is worried to tell me. “I invited Jaclyn.”
“What the fuck, Frank?” I demand, bringing my fist down on the table a little too hard, M&Ms rolling everywhere. Neither of us moves to collect them. “We’ve been going to Todd’s together since freshman year. Even when you first started dating Jaclyn you didn’t invite her. What the hell were you thinking?”
As my friend stumbles over an excuse, I shove his legs off of me. Standing, I gather my bag, storming out of study hall despite objections from both the teacher and Frank. Screw him. I stomp up the hallway, headed towards the nurse’s office. Her office is just off the gym, a small cigarette stained room that’s always ten degrees warmer than the rest of the school. It’s become my go-to cool down room.
As I enter Judy, the school nurse begins to ask me why I’m there, but something else draws my attention. Gerard is sitting on the plastic couch, blood running from his nose over his lips and dripping onto his black pants. He’s holding an ice pack to his right eye. “What the fuck happened to you?”
“Language, Ms. Foster,” the nurse reprimands me.
Rolling my eyes, I plop down on the couch next to Gerard, pulling my feet up so that they’re in a pretzel position. The nurse hands over the tissue box and I pull a few out, handing them off to the injured boy sitting in front of me.
“Idiot jocks decided I’d make a good punching bag. I should’ve known better than to use the bathroom during a class. I guess I’ll just have to use the one in here from now on.” Gerard responds, shaking his head as he tries to clean up his bloody face and still hold the cold compress to his eyes.
Reaching forward I press my hand to the ice pack, holding it in place so Gerard can work on mopping up his face. He gives me a thankful smile. “That’s silly. You shouldn’t have to plan when and where you use the bathroom so you don’t get beat up. Have you talked to Principle Pope?”
“It doesn’t do any good. He just tells me to avoid them or that 'boys will be boys',” Gerard answers with a sigh.
“How many times has this happened?” I question, pulling the ice pack away from Gerard’s eye. It’s already starting to swell, the skin around it turning a deep purple. Whoever hit him, hit hard, meaning to do more than just intimidate.
Gerard shrugs, grabbing the cold blue packet from me and shoving it over his eye. Whether this is out of pain or shame I don’t know. “I don’t know. This isn’t that bad.”
“This isn’t that bad?” I question, eyes scanning over the boy sitting in front of me. How much worse can it get?
Gerard nods, “Two years ago I got beat up in the locker room. I got kicked so hard that my spleen ruptured. I was out of school for a month.”
How can he talk about all of this so casually? If it’s gotten that bad before why hasn’t Principle Pope done anything about it? “That’s fucked.”
“School kinda sucks,” Gerard responds, spitting into the trashcan pulled up beside him.
Letting out a groan, I act against my better judgment. Curse Gerard for getting me in my weak spot. My older brother used to get beat up a lot while he was in high school. I know how hard it can be to keep going back to a place where you feel unsafe. The one thing I kept wishing was that my brother had someone who was willing to look out for him. “Frank, my friend, and I are going to this party at Todd’s house tonight, if you’re feeling better would you wanna come?”
Gerard’s face contorts into what looks like confusion, though it’s hard to tell through his cold compress and slightly swollen nose. “Why?”
“It looks like you’ve had a bad day, I thought maybe going out would cheer you up,” I respond as the bell rings signaling it’s time for me to head to my next class.
“Yeah,” Gerard nods, “okay.”
“Cool. I’ll write down the address and give it to you at lunch.” With that I head out of the nurse’s office. I get about four steps into the hallway before I turn around, poking my head back around the doorframe. “Hey, Gerard -” The boy looks up at me – “this still doesn’t make us friends.”
Frank and I live across an ally from each other. The ladder leaning against the side of my house can stretch between my bedroom window and his. We’d only tried that once, decided it was too dangerous, and moved on to alternative methods. Now, if my mom doesn’t move the garbage pins, I can crawl out my window, drop down onto them and then crawl back up the terrace. I don’t think either of our parents cares if the other stays over, it just feels way cooler to sneak around.
Tonight should feel like any other night, but it doesn’t. My eyes drift around Frank’s small bedroom as I try to get my brain to remember every detail. My best friend’s bed is shoved into the corner. We broke his bedframe in middle school during an intense debate on who won candy land. His parents never replaced it, leaving him to sleep on a mattress on the floor. He collected enough milk crates to set it on top of now. We spent an entire day this summer zip tying them together. Frank’s walls are littered with posters, ticket stubs, and pictures. His most prized possession, a black and white Les Paul Epiphone, sits on its stand next to the bed. The instrument, found in the used guitar shop downtown, cost him a few months’ wages. The gaming system and television are shoved into the corner. Clothes, shoes and other clutter is strewn across the floor. Frank and I practically grew up in this room. It’s weird to think about all this stuff not being here in a few months.
“So -” Frank says, passing a bag of M&Ms to me, “- this Gerard dude, should I be jealous?”
“Ew, no,” I answer back, scrunching up my nose as I chew. “I told you I wasn’t making any new friends. He’s just a kid in my class. If I had a choice I’d change my schedule to avoid him, but Mr. Reese only offers art one period.”
“Besides the vampire look, what’s so wrong with him that you can’t at least try and be friends with him?” Frank questions, flopping backward across his mattress.
I shift around, placing a green candy on Frank’s chin, “Nothing. I don’t even know him. He’s not you, Frank.”
My best friend lets out a sigh as I place another M&M on his forehead, “Making yourself miserable isn’t going to make me decide to not go to college, Liz.”
“I’ve got Jimmy and Lacey and whatever loser freshman works over the summer.”
Frank rolls his eyes, taking the chocolates I’d placed on his face off before motioning for me to lay with him. I stick the bag of M&Ms on the floor, curling up with my head on Frank’s flannel covered shoulder. “Jimmy is a 30-year-old pot addict. Lacey is so strung out that most days she can’t tell a person from a cow. Those aren’t the kind people I want you to replace me with. Give this vampire kid a chance, maybe he’ll surprise you.”
“If I agree to give him a chance will you shut up about me making friends?” I question, giving my best friend a wink.
“If, and only if, you actually try,” Frank answers with a smile.
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I contemplate Frank’s deal, “I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t bit your lip like that,” Frank says.
“Why? Does it make you wanna do bad things to me, Mr. Iero?” I joke, giving him a wink.
“Liz,” Frank answers, an error of warning in his tone as if he’s genuinely worried about where this conversation could be going.
“That wasn’t an answer,” I respond, flipping over and crawling closer to Frank.
“I have a girlfriend.”
“We could change that.” I give my best friend a wink, leaning forward as if I’m going to kiss him. At the last second, I move my head to the left, running my tongue over his cheek.
The dark haired boy lets out a squeak of surprise, jolting forward and knocking our foreheads together. I lean back, pressing my palm to the point of impact, more stunned than hurt. Frank pulls his sleeve up, wiping away my spit, a big goofy smile on his face. There is a familiar sparkle in his eyes. For a second everything feels like it used to before college, before Jaclyn, before everything got so complicated. “You’re such a little freak. Why am I friends with you?”
I grin down at Frank, “Because I was the only one willing to help you sneak extra pudding cups at nature camp.”
Frank and I met in the fifth grade. My parents were going through a divorce so my mom sent me to a summer camp to keep me away from the fighting occurring at home. I hadn’t wanted to go, not at all interested in spending four whole weeks stuck outside learning about different types of animals and trees. Frank was the first person I met. He was sitting alone on a rock by the lake. I went right up to him and introduced myself. He pushed me into the lake. I spent the next two weeks of the program seeking him out. Anytime there was a partner event I made sure to choose him. Eventually, he gave me an ultimatum, help him steal a case of pubbing from the camp kitchen or leave him alone. We both got sent home a week early, but in hindsight, it was worth it. Frank often muses about how we’d never met before camp despite living across the alley from each other. I’m convinced that, if we hadn’t met exactly when and how we did, the two of us wouldn’t be where we are now.
“I’d say sorry for getting you sent home early, but we both know you fucking hated that camp,” Frank answer back with a laugh. “Are you staying here tonight?”
“Duh. Are we going to Todd’s party on Friday?”
Frank rolls his eyes scooting over in the bed so that we can both lay down, “Duh.”
The rest of the week passes quickly. Jimmy, who is used to Todd having his annual beginning of school party, gives me Friday off. Gerard seems to have gotten the hint. He leaves me alone for the most part, only commenting on my art project a few times. We’ve fallen into a comfortable silence during lunch period, only exchanging a head nod as the other sits. Just as I’m starting to think this school year might not be a complete waste, Frank throws me a curve ball.
“You should invite Gerard to Todd’s party,” he says Friday as I sit down next to him in study hall. I have half a mind to get up and walk out.
“No.”
“I’ll accept that answer if you can give me two good reasons,” Frank answers with a smug smile, throwing his legs over my lap, hang digging into my backpack to grab out the M&Ms I’d stolen from him earlier in the week. Goddamn him for knowing me so well.
“He probably doesn’t want to come and I don’t want to,” I assert, glancing over at my best friend to see his reaction. He looks less than impressed with my rationale. “Besides, Gerard and I have worked out how to co-exist. Inviting him out might upset the balance too much.”
Frank rolls his eyes, swallowing hard, “Those are very lame reasons, Liz.”
“Why do you want me to invite him so bad anyway? Todd’s parties are kinda our thing.”
A sigh, fingers run through too long hair tugging at the roots a little. There’s something Frank is worried to tell me. “I invited Jaclyn.”
“What the fuck, Frank?” I demand, bringing my fist down on the table a little too hard, M&Ms rolling everywhere. Neither of us moves to collect them. “We’ve been going to Todd’s together since freshman year. Even when you first started dating Jaclyn you didn’t invite her. What the hell were you thinking?”
As my friend stumbles over an excuse, I shove his legs off of me. Standing, I gather my bag, storming out of study hall despite objections from both the teacher and Frank. Screw him. I stomp up the hallway, headed towards the nurse’s office. Her office is just off the gym, a small cigarette stained room that’s always ten degrees warmer than the rest of the school. It’s become my go-to cool down room.
As I enter Judy, the school nurse begins to ask me why I’m there, but something else draws my attention. Gerard is sitting on the plastic couch, blood running from his nose over his lips and dripping onto his black pants. He’s holding an ice pack to his right eye. “What the fuck happened to you?”
“Language, Ms. Foster,” the nurse reprimands me.
Rolling my eyes, I plop down on the couch next to Gerard, pulling my feet up so that they’re in a pretzel position. The nurse hands over the tissue box and I pull a few out, handing them off to the injured boy sitting in front of me.
“Idiot jocks decided I’d make a good punching bag. I should’ve known better than to use the bathroom during a class. I guess I’ll just have to use the one in here from now on.” Gerard responds, shaking his head as he tries to clean up his bloody face and still hold the cold compress to his eyes.
Reaching forward I press my hand to the ice pack, holding it in place so Gerard can work on mopping up his face. He gives me a thankful smile. “That’s silly. You shouldn’t have to plan when and where you use the bathroom so you don’t get beat up. Have you talked to Principle Pope?”
“It doesn’t do any good. He just tells me to avoid them or that 'boys will be boys',” Gerard answers with a sigh.
“How many times has this happened?” I question, pulling the ice pack away from Gerard’s eye. It’s already starting to swell, the skin around it turning a deep purple. Whoever hit him, hit hard, meaning to do more than just intimidate.
Gerard shrugs, grabbing the cold blue packet from me and shoving it over his eye. Whether this is out of pain or shame I don’t know. “I don’t know. This isn’t that bad.”
“This isn’t that bad?” I question, eyes scanning over the boy sitting in front of me. How much worse can it get?
Gerard nods, “Two years ago I got beat up in the locker room. I got kicked so hard that my spleen ruptured. I was out of school for a month.”
How can he talk about all of this so casually? If it’s gotten that bad before why hasn’t Principle Pope done anything about it? “That’s fucked.”
“School kinda sucks,” Gerard responds, spitting into the trashcan pulled up beside him.
Letting out a groan, I act against my better judgment. Curse Gerard for getting me in my weak spot. My older brother used to get beat up a lot while he was in high school. I know how hard it can be to keep going back to a place where you feel unsafe. The one thing I kept wishing was that my brother had someone who was willing to look out for him. “Frank, my friend, and I are going to this party at Todd’s house tonight, if you’re feeling better would you wanna come?”
Gerard’s face contorts into what looks like confusion, though it’s hard to tell through his cold compress and slightly swollen nose. “Why?”
“It looks like you’ve had a bad day, I thought maybe going out would cheer you up,” I respond as the bell rings signaling it’s time for me to head to my next class.
“Yeah,” Gerard nods, “okay.”
“Cool. I’ll write down the address and give it to you at lunch.” With that I head out of the nurse’s office. I get about four steps into the hallway before I turn around, poking my head back around the doorframe. “Hey, Gerard -” The boy looks up at me – “this still doesn’t make us friends.”
