Mikey let me use the shower, which I was grateful for. We didn’t speak as he grabbed clothes for me and brought me to the bathroom. After I managed to get all of the paint off of my body and out of my hair, I changed into the sweatpants and tee shirt he let me borrow. I had some time to think while I was in there. If this had happened to me when I was still friends with Molly and Kurt, they wouldn’t have done anything to help me. They would’ve laughed and just told me to suck it up. That it was a joke and I shouldn’t take everything so seriously.

My heart was heavy as I left the bathroom to find Mikey. He was in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. Snickering, I walk up behind him, “You’re going to get caffeine poisoning someday.”

“Someday,” he mused. “But not tonight.”

We stood in comfortable silence as the coffee brewed. Once it was finished, Mikey made us both a cup. We sat down at the table, sipping on our warm beverages. “Veronica,” he opened his mouth. “What happened?”

Frowning, I look away from him. Staring at the cup in my hands, I explained the events of the game. I didn’t dare look up once I was done talking. I didn’t want to see the expression on his face. “Damn,” I heard him snarl as he slammed a hand down on the table.

Peeking up through my eyelashes, I could see his eyes narrowed through his glasses. His jaw was clenched, hands curled into fists. His coffee sat forgotten as his fists started to tremble. “Mikey, calm down,” I attempt to soothe him. “I’m fine-“

“No!” He shouts. “You’re obviously not okay! You’ve never gone through this and it is hitting you like bricks! You’re hurting, and I should’ve seen it sooner.”

“Sticks and stones,” I shake my head.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” he insists. “You know that words hurt more than fists sometimes.”

He was right. I couldn’t dance around him. Even though we haven’t known each other for a long time, he could see right through me. I could feel tears pricking at my eyes, “It’s just so hard.” I mumble. “I don’t even know how you guys go through every day.”

Mikey reached over, grasping my hand with his. Sparks seemed to fly from where our skin made contact. I look up, staring into his eyes. Those eyes always seemed to stare into my soul. “We survive because we have each other,” he stared at me intensely. “You will survive too. I will always be there for you. I promise.”

A smile crept up on my face, “Really?”

“Of course, princess.”

Suddenly, Gerard walked into the kitchen. Mikey let go of my hand quickly, leaning back in his chair. The tall boy glanced at the pair of us, “What’s going on?”

“Amelia poured black paint on her at the football game,” Mikey explained.

His eyes darkened, “What a bitch.”

“Agreed,” I hum.

As the three of us sat at the table, talking, I began to think. Those people…those assholes have declared me a traitorous emo. The scum of the school. There was no way I was continuing cheerleading after what happened. I was definitely quitting, with or without my parent’s blessing. My will to give a fuck was slowly dwindling with each hurtful word or action thrown my way.

The people at school were materialistic and conceited. They only cared about themselves and what made them look good, anything different is damned. I thought about Amelia and the shit she put my friends through. It was despicable and disgusting. With each event my mind wandered to, the heaviness in my heart lessened and the anger in me grew. Those people want to label me emo and a traitor.

And they’re going to get exactly that.

“Guys, I need your help.”

---

“Damn, your hair looks awesome!” Gerard gushed as he looked at the final product.
I needed a change, and that meant dying my hair. Gerard told me that his black hair wasn’t natural, so I recruited his help in the dying process. We also went to Hot Topic and Forever 21 at the mall where I went all out, picking out clothes that I liked. For the first time ever, I was glad that my family had a lot of money.

My hair was now red with an orange ombre. It was unnatural, and I loved it. The clothes I had picked out was described as “pastel goth” as the colors were primarily black with some pastel colors thrown in. The three of us were at my house since no one was home. I was wearing a lavender colored dress with a black leather jacket, black tights, and black heeled combat boots. My transformation was obvious, and I was in love with it.

I grinned at Gerard’s comment, “It only looks awesome because of you two.”

Mikey wrapped his arm around my shoulders, “Aw, thanks. Seriously, it looks amazing though.”

I looked over at myself in the mirror, the grin never leaving my face, “My parents are so going to kill me.”

“Before or after the kids at school?” Gerard chuckled.

“Ooh, tough question,” I cross my arms over my chest with a smirk. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

Mikey was looking in my closet, then at the bags on strewed across my bed, “Where are you going to put all that stuff?”

An idea popped into my head as he asked that, “Grab an armful.” I insist as I grab a bunch of clothes off of their hangers.

We brought the clothes down to the backyard. They were all piled up in the middle. I was actually glad to have a fence for once. Without telling the pair, I rushed inside to grab lighter fluid from the cabinet under the sink. Just as I was letting my old life burn, I was doing it literally to one of the materialistic things that held me back.

It sounds stupid and pathetic to say that clothes affect a person’s mind, but they do. If I continued to wear that clothing, it symbolized that I hadn’t let go of the perfect life thrust upon me. Destroying that sealed my transformation and assured that I wouldn’t go back. That is why I am burning my old clothes. And that is why I dyed my hair an unnatural color.

The boys stood around the pile in the yard, looking from it to me and what I held in my hand. “What are you doing?” Mikey questioned as I started to spray the clothing.

“Burning it all.”

Soon, the clothes were engulfed in flames, the smell of burning plastic and fabric filling the air. I didn’t smile, and I didn’t frown. My eyes were wide and blank as I stared down. I was mesmerized by the different color flames ranging from orange and yellow to flickers of blue and green. “Well,” I open my mouth after minutes of silence. “It’s time to really fuck shit up around here.”

Notes