Shatter Me

The next morning, I woke up sore, eyes red from crying. I knew that I had to put on my game face. My family couldn't know I had been crying. No weakness allowed in this house.

Rubbing my eyes as I stood up, I wandered over to my personal bathroom. I took a quick shower before throwing on a pair of leggings with an oversized sweater over top of a tank top. I blow dried my hair before throwing it into a bun on top of my head. Looking into the mirror, I was glad that my face was less puffy and eyes were less red than they had been earlier.

I made my way downstairs to find my father grabbing his keys from the place they hung. He noticed me out of the corner of his eye, "Hi Ronnie. How was last night?"

I knew he didn't know about the party or the aftermath, so I just smiled, "Boring. Seriously, no one home and everyone busy? It was torture."

"I know," he came over, kissing the top of my head. "But everyone needs some alone time."

I rolled my eyes, "Please."

"Don't be petulant," he scolded halfheartedly. "I was called in, so was your mother. Jeff is at football practice and Eric is at a college class, so it's just you again."

Pretending to be upset by this information, I groaned, "Seriously?"

"Seriously," he replied. "Love you, Ronnie."

"I love you too, Dad."

He left without another glance. I was always closer to my Dad. I felt bad that I was always lying to him since he was the one who was slightly more understanding about me wanting to quit cheer last year. Mom was the one who pushed it on me more than he did. As soon as he left the house, I went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee. As it was brewing, I retreated to the back porch to smoke a cigarette.

There was a slight chill in the air, letting me know that September was almost over. School had only started a couple weeks previously and I already wanted it to be over. Football games started next week, so there’s something to look forward to if you could sense my sarcasm.

When the cigarette was done, I went back inside for my morning cup of coffee. As I took the first sip, I heard a light knocking on the door. I curse loudly, annoyed that someone was wanting to bother me. It was probably Molly or someone from the team. I spray myself with some perfume quickly before rushing to the door. And I did not expect to see Mikey Way on my stoop.

I raised my eyebrows as he stood, slightly bashful, “Mikey, hi.”

“Hey,” he shuffled from foot to foot. “May I come in?”

I nodded, “Yeah, sure.”

I moved over, allowing him to make his way inside. I looked him over as I closed the door. I’m not going to lie, he was pretty attractive. “Want some coffee?”

His face lit up, “Please.”

I grab a mug from the cupboard, filling it with the dark liquid, “Cream and sugar?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

I handed him the cup, watching as he took a gulp. I placed an elbow on the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, leaning my face against my palm. “How did you know where I live?”

He was still sipping at the coffee as I asked the question, but he accidentally spits out a little bit, sputtering slightly, “S-Sorry!”

I laughed, grabbing some paper towels from the roller, “You’re fine, here.”

He wiped his mouth with the cloth and cleaned up the drops that had fallen onto the counter. I watched him with curiosity and amusement. This is the first person I’ve ever been around that was nervous or anxious. It showed that he was human, and I liked that. He seemed to notice my staring, as he caught my eye. His face flushed as he tried to look for the garbage can to put the dirty paper towel in.

I pointed right behind him in the direction of the garbage, making him even more bashful I guess. “So how did you know?”

“Um, Frank told me,” he answered as he threw out the towel. “I asked him this morning.”

I cocked my head to the side, “Why?”

He seemed to be calming down as he sighed, “I wanted to apologize for my brother. He was being an absolute dick to you.”

Shaking my head, I reply, “No need to apologize. I deserved it.”

He stared at me with what I sensed was awe, “You are not what I expected.”

“I could say the same to you,” I smirked, glancing over my shoulder at him. “You seemed pretty confident last night during the interrogation. What happened to make you so bashful?”

He laughed slightly with a grimace on his face, “Well, I was-and still am-a bit afraid and intimidated by you, but the difference was that I had my friends right there to back me up if things go south. I’m all alone here, so I am vulnerable I guess.”

I could understand where he was coming from. Here he was, bullied by my peers, in my house with no backup. I thought that was pretty ballsy of him. I wonder, what if I hadn’t been different? I would’ve probably eaten him alive. I smile softly, “Look, I don’t bite. I don’t plan on being my friends. Ever.”

“Things change,” he mumbled.

“What happened to giving me a chance?”

He looked up, staring at me through his glasses. His eyes were a piercing hazel. I couldn’t help but find them attractive. “I won’t back out on that,” he insisted. “But I still can’t help but feel nervous since…the Amelia thing.”

I almost slapped myself in the face for not remembering, “That’s right, I’m sorry. Do you mind telling me what happened? I’ve only ever heard rumors.”

“Well, she started off just like you,” he explained, fidgeting as he began his story. “She claimed that she was different and hated the crowd she ran with. We took her in because we wanted to be nice. We had been bullied at that point, but it wasn’t too bad. Just an occasional name throw. We could handle it.”

He rubbed the back of his neck as he continued, “She hung out with us for a couple weeks. She even got together with Gerard, which is kind of why he was so touchy about you. He still doesn’t trust you because of her. Eventually, she stopped hanging out with us. We were curious, so we asked her. She was with some of the people she hung out with when we asked if she was okay. She laughed in our faces and told us it was just a huge joke. She told everyone at school these awful things like problems that Gerard used to have among other things. It hit him the worst. I’m pretty sure he was in love with her.”

“Woah,” I breathed, not knowing exactly what to say. “I had no idea.”

I couldn’t believe that someone would do something so vile. These were real live people with real life feelings. Now I was less scared of Gerard and more sympathetic. He was trying to protect himself from being hurt. I don’t understand why I didn’t see it before. I guess I was too wrapped up in my own silly emotions to see the bigger picture. “Yeah,” Mikey set his mug down on the counter. “So, he’s not keen to trusting you yet, but he does feel bad for making you cry like that.”

I shake my head, “No, I completely understand now. If I had been in that situation, I would react the same way.”

A small smile appeared on his face. A kind smile. A real smile. It was rare that I was able to see one of those. I was about to open my mouth to speak when I hear the front door open, “Veronica, you in here?”

Notes