Gerard’s POV

“Gee.” I heard a voice say but it sounded like it was miles away.
“He’s fucking out of it.” Another voice said.
“Gerard, baby I need you to snap out of this.” I heard someone say which made me look at them when I saw Frank.
“I’ve never seen this.” Another voice said.
“He’s still asleep.” Frank said and he stepped forward.
“Oi, wake the fuck up will you before you stab someone!” Frank said seriously as he caught hold of my hand which made me wake up and I moved my other hand which made Frank take a step back.
“Gee, put the knife down.” Frank said calmly.
“He was in the house, I couldn’t let him do what he did again to me.” I said quickly as I tightened my grip on the knife.
“Babe, the only people here are me, you and Jamie.” Frank said and I looked at Jamie who looked at me unsure with what was going on.
“Gee, focus on me and not Jamie.” Frank said softly and I looked at Frank.
“You had a nightmare and you slept walked yourself down here and got the knife.” Frank explained briefly to me.
“But I saw him, I saw his evil little smirk he did.” I said, still refusing to let go of the knife.
“You didn’t see him. He is still locked away and he doesn’t know where you are. You are safe here.” Frank said and I looked down at the knife in my hand.
I sighed loudly and turned round and put the knife on the side and walked off and went upstairs and went back to bed but I couldn’t fall back asleep without Frank in bed next to me.

A few minutes later Frank came upstairs and got back into bed.
“I’ve never done that before.” I said quietly and I felt Frank look at me.
“It’s okay Gee, I’m glad I was here to make sure nothing more serious happened.” Frank said softly and I sighed loudly.
“It’s not fair on you, you should have me locked away.” I said and I felt Frank moved so he was now sat on me which I wasn’t sure off but I wasn’t going to stop him.
“Never say that again Gee.” Frank said seriously and I looked at him and saw how tired he was and the hurt on his face.
“You shouldn’t be expected to look after a crazy person like me. I should be locked away for everyone’s own good.” I said as I felt tears spring into my eyes.
“I love you Gee, I will do whatever it takes to look after you. Locking you away will not be for your own good and you know this.” Frank said and I looked down.
“I don’t want to be like this anymore, I want to be normal. I want to be able to go outside and walk down the street and not have a panic attack. I want to be able to have sex whenever I want and not when I’m having a good day. I want to be able to have a normal nights sleep and not wake you up. I want to be normal Frank. Why can’t I be normal.” I said as I broke down and cried and I felt Frank pull me into his chest and I held onto his shirt tightly.
“It takes time baby.” Frank said softly.
“It’s been 9 months since I got diagnosed with PTSD and it’s been a 13 months since I was freed from him. I should be getting better but I’m not.” I said loudly as I moved back and looked away from Frank.
“It’s not something you can get over in a couple of months, it’s going to take a long time time for you to get over all those unforgivable that he did to you.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“I know but I don’t want to be like this anymore. I want to be free like you are.” I sniffed as I looked back down again.
“You will do in time. But right now you need to take it one step at a time. Together, we will do this okay. Me and you like it will be for a long time. You’re my person and you’ll always be my person.” Frank said and I looked at him and smiled.
“You did not just quote Grey’s Anatomy.” I sniffed as Frank kissed my forehead.
“Sure did baby.” Frank said quietly and he looked at me and I lent forward and kissed him which Frank returned.
I pulled back and sniffed as I looked down but Frank made me look at him.
“Why is Jamie in our house in the middle of the night?” I asked quietly and Frank smiled slightly.
“He is going to stay with us for a while, if that’s okay with you.” Frank said and I sighed loudly as I nodded.
“Another person to think that I’m crazy.” I whispered and Frank kissed me.
“He doesn’t think your crazy. You are a brother to him and he loves you like a brother so you can throw every bit of crazy towards him and he wouldn’t care.” Frank said and I smiled.
“Come on, let’s get some sleep.” Frank said softly and I sighed as I kissed Frank a bit harder than before.
“Make love to me.” I whispered against his lips.
“You sure?” Frank asked and I nodded as I kissed him again.
“I’m sure.” I whispered and Frank smiled as he pulled my top off.

I woke up the next morning and at first I thought it was Eric’s arms wrapped around me but when I looked down I saw a tattooed arm wrapped round me and that was when I worked out it was Frank, not Eric’s arm around me which made me smile as I cuddled into Frank’s side which made him sigh loudly and I settled down again and went back to sleep again feeling safe.
When I next woke up I was alone in bed.
I sighed loudly and stretched moaning as I did so when some bones cracked back into place which felt like heaven to me.
Once I did that I got out of bed and when I did I looked down and saw myself naked which made me smile as I pulled some pants on along with a hoodie and I walked down a couple of steps when I heard Frank and Jamie talking.

“He isn’t coping Frank.” Jamie said as I quietly sat on the stairs and listened to their conversation.
“Jamie, Gee is coping a hell of a lot better than what he did when I first got with him.” Frank said which made me smile as he was standing up for me.
“Really? He nearly fucking stabbed you Frank.” Jamie said sarcastically.
“He was having a nightmare, you don’t understand Gerard like I do.” Frank said.
“How often does it happen?” Jamie asked seriously.
“How often does what happen? Gee having nightmares happens nearly every night, him sleeping walking and doing what he did last night was the first time.” Frank said.
“He needs to start taking his medication.” Jamie said and Frank sighed loudly.
“No medication will make Gerard forget those terrible things what that man did to him. Medication will not make Gerard stop having nightmares or flashbacks or anything else that he has because of PTSD. Now you can either suck up the fact that Gerard is probably going to wake you up during the night and he’ll more than likely have a argument with you because that’s how Gee rolls or you can get out and find someone else to crash with.” Frank said seriously.
“That boy is no good for you Frank.” Jamie said and out of everything that hurt and it made me look at as I felt myself cry again.
“I love Gerard, I have changed so much because of Gerard and for once I am happy to be with someone. I’m not using drugs anymore, I’m not wondering the streets at night causing shit and I’m not sleeping around. That broken mess what you see is not a broken mess to me. He is my other half, my better half of me. I’m so fed up with having to explain my relationship with Gerard. I am in love with Gee why can’t you just be happy for me.” Frank said and I heard him move and I got up and moved back to the bedroom when a couple of seconds later Frank showed up and I felt the bed dip behind me and Frank cuddled into my back and he kissed my neck.

“Come on Babe, it’s the middle of the morning. It’s time for you to get up and make yourself pretty because we are going out.” Frank said and I rolled over and looked at Frank.
“You heard what Jamie said didn’t you.” Frank said quietly and I nodded as I cuddled into his chest.
“Don’t listen to him, it’s our relationship not his and I choose you and I’ll always choose you Gee.” Frank said and I smiled into his chest as I kissed one of his tattoos.
“Up you get, make yourself look pretty and we are going out.” Frank said and I smiled as I rolled onto my back and sighed loudly as Frank got off the bed and I watched him get dressed which made me smile to myself as I moved and rolled onto my front and watched Frank who smirked at me when he caught me watching him.
“Get dressed will you.” Frank chuckled as he pecked my lips and he walked out the room and I groaned quietly to myself as I rolled off the bed and got dressed and I went downstairs.
Jamie was just walking into the sitting room when I stood in the door way blocking his way into the sitting room.
“You are a guest in my home. You do not get to talk about me like I’m some shit on your shoe. You also don’t get to talk about my relationship like you understand it because every relationship is different. So I hope I don’t keep you up during the night.” I said and moved out of Jamie’s way and he just looked at me and I walked to the kitchen where Frank was putting his shoes on.
“Damn Babe.” Frank said as he stood up and looked me up and down.
“You don’t too bad yourself.” I said as I went and put my shoes on.
“Where we going?” I asked and Frank smiled as he walked over to me and pulled me close t him from my hips.
“You’ll know when you see.” Frank said as he pecked my lips and he caught hold of my hand and picked a bag up and we went for a walk.

We got a coffee and Frank took me to the lake he showed me when we first became friends and that made me smile.
“So, it’s a nice day, nobody knows about this place. How do you feel like going swimming.” Frank said and I smiled and nodded.
“I also have some alcohol on me if you want some.” Frank said and I frowned at him.
“I’ll go swimming but I won’t have any alcohol.” I said and Frank smiled nodding in a understanding way.
I walked over to the bag and looked for something to change into for swimming and I frowned when I just found towels and some beers and a change of clothes and I looked at Frank.
“There’s no shorts for us to change into.” I said and Frank chuckled as he walked over to me and pulled me close to him.
“Won’t be needing shorts.” Frank said and I frowned at him and Frank caught hold off my top and pulled it off me.
“Why won’t we be needing shorts? Don’t we need them for swimming?” I asked probably sounding really stupid.
Frank chuckled as he kissed me and stepped back pulling his top off along with his jeans and pants and he just stood there and looked at me.
“See baby, we won’t be need shorts as since nobody is here but us we can swim bollock naked.” Frank said and I just looked him up and down.
“But I cant swim.” I said remembering the last time I went swimming it was a week before Eric took me for the second time.

*Flashback*

“Come on Gee, it’ll be fun!” Mikey said from the river we had both found.
“You know I can’t swim Mikey.” I said as I sat down on the river bank.
“So, what happened to you saying that is this going to be the new you. Trying new things and sleeping around.” Mikey said and I sighed loudly as I stood up and took my top, jeans and socks off.
“Promise me you’ll catch me.” I said and Mikey laughed as he moved back.
“Trust me Gee.” Mikey said as he opened his arms out and I took a deep breath and jumped and making a huge splash as I entered the water.
“Breath Gee, you have to relax.” Mikey said as he linked his arm with mine.
“Never warned me it was this deep.” I coughed and Mikey chuckled.
“Now if I told you, you wouldn’t off jumped in.” Mikey chuckled and I just glared at him.

After a while me and Mikey moved from the river and just sat on the river bank having a cheeky joint between us and we got talking.
“Do you still think about him?” Mikey asked and I frowned at him.
“Course I do. He did all those things to me and it stays stuck in your mind for ages.” I said quietly as I looked back at the river.
“You recon the police will get him? The last I heard was that he was out of the state and they couldn’t find him.” Mikey said and I sighed loudly.
“He’s really smart Mikes, he knows how to keep his head down and dodge the police. For all I know he could be planning on getting me again.” I said and I felt Mikey look at me.
“Don’t say that Gee. I think you’re now safe from him.” Mikey said and I smiled slightly as I looked down.

*End of Flashback*

“You okay babe?” Frank asked softly and I looked at him and smiled.
“Yeah, just remembered the last time I went swimming.” I said quietly and Frank moved toward me and he kissed me as I felt him get hold of the bottom of my top and he looked at me with a soft smile on his face.
“I promise I won’t go too deep. I’ll keep hold of you so you don’t drown. I’ll look after you.” Frank whisper and I smiled at him as I nodded and Frank took my top off.
“Do you think I’m crazy?” I asked as Frank frowned at me as he undone my jeans and pulled them down but left me in my pants.
“No, no baby I don’t think you are crazy.” Frank said softly as he kissed me again.
Frank put his hands on my pants and looked at me for permission and I smiled shyly as I nodded and Frank pulled my pants down and he offered me his hand which I took and stepped out of my jeans and pants and Frank started to walk towards the lake and he guided me until I couldn’t feel the floor which made me start to panic which was when Frank stopped and turned round and held me close to him.
“Relax baby, I’ve got you and I’ll never let you go.” Frank whispered as he kissed me which I returned.

After I relaxed I looked at Frank who had this smirk on his face which confused me.
“What?” I asked and Frank smirked at me again as he pulled me closer to him.
Before I knew it Frank threw me into the water, but I could tell he threw me towards the shallow end and once I stood up, I started to cough as I glared at Frank who was laughing at me as he swam over.
“You bastard.” I coughed and Frank chuckled.
“That’s me.” Frank said as I felt him grab hold of my hips and pulled me close to him and he held me very close to him and I wrapped my arms round his neck.
“Do you trust me?” Frank asked quietly and I nodded so Frank moved us out of the lake and towards our stuff where Frank somehow put some towels on the floor and he lead me on the towel and he pinned me to the ground.
“I..I..I don’t like this.” I whispered and Frank smiled as he lent down and kissed me.
“Relax, this is me and not him. Just trust me.” Frank said softly as he started to kiss down my body keeping hold of my hands down my sides which made me slowly start to freak and this was when Frank listened and stopped and moved his hands of mine and he sat on me.
“We don’t have to do this.” Frank said quietly and I looked down and Frank made me look at him.
“I’m sorry, I ruin everything.” I blurted out and Frank smiled at me as he kissed me.
“Don’t be sorry and you haven’t ruined anything. I was just seeing how far I could go before you said something and you said something and I stopped.” Frank said and I sniffed and Frank climbed off me.
“I love you Okay. I’m not going to leave because of this.” Frank said as I rolled onto my side and I looked at him.
“I love you too.” I whispered and Frank smiled and we spent the day enjoying each other company and we watched the sun set.

We got home and the smell of food filled our nose and we looked in the kitchen and found Jamie cooking.
“Didn’t know you can cook.” Frank said which made Jamie jump and look at us.
“I can cook but choose not to cook. Anyway I thought I would cook tonight as a way to say sorry for the things I said about Gee this morning.” Jamie said and he looked at me and I smiled slightly as I looked down.
“You didn’t have to.” I said quietly as I walked upstairs and started to run the shower as I didn’t like the feeling of being covered in lake water anymore.
I had stripped down to my pants when the bathroom door opened and shut which made me freeze slightly.
“Easy Baby, it’s only me.” I heard Frank say softly and I felt him kiss my shoulder.
“I feel like I’ve ruined this day for you.” I said quietly as I turned round and looked at Frank where he rested his hand on my cheek.
“You haven’t ruined it. You could never ruin anything.” Frank whispered as he stood closer to me and I looked at him.
“I ruined my life, I ruin everything I touch.” I said quietly and Frank put his finger on my lips and shushed me.
“You didn’t ruin your life, that bastard did that for you but you are getting better. You haven’t ruined us, you’ll never ruin us okay.” Frank said and I nodded as Frank kissed me which I returned.
“Let’s have a bath.” Frank said softly and I nodded as I went to take my jeans off but Frank stopped me which made me look at him.
“May I?” Frank asked and I nodded as Frank undone my jeans and pulled them down along with my pants and offered me a hand which I took and stepped out of my clothes.
Frank stood back and just admired me like he always does when he undressed me.
“Can I undress you?” I asked sort off slipping into my submissive behaviour.
“You may.” Frank said and I walked over to him and got hold of his top and pulled it over his head and threw it towards my pile of clothes.
“I want to try something.” I whispered as I gently traced my finger over Frank’s tattoos on his chest.
Frank placed a finger under my chin and made me look at him.
“Then do. I’ll let you take the lead on this.” Frank said and I smiled at him which Frank returned my smile but self doubt started to kick in and Frank noticed.
“Don’t put yourself down. I’ll enjoy whatever you have planned, I’ll always enjoy it with you.” Frank said and I sighed quietly.
“What if I’m not enough though?” I asked and Frank chuckled slightly as he grabbed my hand and put it in his dick which was hard.
“You are enough. Seeing you like this just makes me want to fuck the life out of you.” Frank said and I looked at him and smiled slightly as it’s felt so long since I’ve been fucked hard but I knew my mental state couldn’t take it.

“Then do.” I whispered and Frank looked at me shocked and frowned at me.
“I’m not risking your mental health Gee. I might want to fuck you against the side and put you back in your place but I’m not going to do that because I’m not a Dom and you are still recovering from what he did to you.” Frank said and I looked at him.
“Please sir, it’s been such a long time and I don’t know if I know my place or not.” I said completely slipping into sub mode now.
Frank frowned at me slightly making up his mind if it was a good idea or not.
“If you don’t want me then I’m sure Jamie will.” I said as I headed towards the bathroom door and put my hand on the door handle.
“Get over here now.” Frank growled and I smiled slightly to myself before I turned round and walked over to Frank and looked at him.
“You are mine and only mine.” Frank said seriously and I nodded.
“Yes sir.” I whispered.
“You going to undress me?” Frank asked and I nodded and walked closer to Frank and started to undo his jeans when Frank put his hands on top of mine.
“Not with your hands.” Frank said and I nodded and sunk down onto my knees and undone his jeans zip with my teeth and I looked at him.
“Jesus this is a pretty sight.” Frank said quietly as he cupped my face.
I moved back a little bit so Frank could pull his jeans down and stepped out of his jeans while I stayed on my knees and looking down.

After we had finished Frank picked me up and put me in the bath and he stepped in behind me and sat down and started to wash me.
We sat in a comfortable silence while Frank looked after me.
“I can’t do that all the time Gee.” Frank said quietly and I smiled as I rested my head more on his shoulder and I messed with his hand.
“I know.” I whispered.
“I need to think off you and what that bastard did to you.” Frank said softly and I sighed as I sat up and turned round and looked at him.
“You’ll never be like him.” I said and Frank smiled and he reached out and touched one of the many scars on my chest which made me look down and away from his eye.
“That man was never a master. He was cruel and did things to you that should never of been done. But he is now locked away and he won’t be getting out for a long time.” Frank said and I looked at him.
Frank moved and he kissed me which I returned.
Frank stood up and I looked up at him and Frank offered me his hand which I took and Frank helped me to stand.
Frank got out the bath first and he helped me out the bath where he wrapped a towel round me and kissed the end of my nose which made me giggle slightly.
Frank dried himself off and wrapped the towel round his waist and he picked me up and walked to our room where he lead me down on the bed and walked out the room again which made me frown as I sat up and I looked for bottoms to put on and when I put them on I realised they was Frank’s but I couldn’t be brother to change and I crawled into bed and looked for something to watch.
Frank came in the room and sat on my side of the bed and he held his hand out which had my medication in it which made me look at him.
“Don’t want a repeat of last night.” Frank said softly and I nodded as I took my medication and washed it down with some water.

Frank got up and walked round to his side of the bed and climbed into bed where I moved and cuddled into his side and Frank kissed the top of my head and we watched a film until I fell asleep.

Notes