Notable Occasions on the Calendar of Dread
Part Three Chapter One
Part Three: Freedom of the Havoc
Frigid cold impulses ran through my being as a whole; my hands felt like crystals of ice as they encased themselves around the cup of thermal liquid that hovered over the wooden table. In short, I was home--released from treatment with a flick of the wrist, deemed sane and ready to take on the world. In some sense, they were correct, however, in a stronger sense they were wrong.
Mikey had stayed with me while I rekindled what was left of my mind, over at a family house that was vacant besides the two of us. Occasionally, my sister would ghost over to check up on us, and comment on how we were playing house too early into our relationship, but I knew she was joking, mainly content I was alive. I reconnected with old friends whom I abandoned unintentionally when I entered treatment, many did not return the calls but one of my closest friends of the time did--Natalie. When she stopped by to see me, it was as if no time had passed, and she embraced my small being so very tightly I felt as though I was home. Her blonde locks and bright eyes looked entirely the same and her pale, pink tinged skin was welcoming.
I introduced her to Mikey and blantly told her the entire story of my treatment, escape, and eventual recovery. She listened to the whole story, never once interrupting and allowing me to speak wholeheartedly about treatment. She vowed in that moment to always be in contact with me, let alone there for me as a whole.
"Mikey is lucky to have someone strong like you," she whispered when Mikey left the room for a moment.
"I'm the lucky one in the situation. I always thought I wasn't worthy of being loved," I said back.
Natalie took my fridgid hands in hers, and she smiled an enchanting apperance upon her lips.
"If anyone is worthy of being loved, Jade, it's you. You're an amazing person, and I think everyone can see it but you. I hope one day you will see it, too." she said, her words bringing comfort to the darkest corners of my mind.
"Thank you," I whispered.
When she vacated the vicinity, Mikey sat down next to me at the table and I felt an overwhelming urge to suddenly be as honest as possible with him.
"When we were in the hotel room," I began, casuing him to raise his eyebrows.
"The drugs I intended to overdose on were yours--they were your seroquel," I sheepishly chocked out.
"I know," he hummed, unphased by the subject.
"How?" I suddenly asked.
"I was only suppose the take them when I needed them. You didn't think I wouldn't notice they were gone?" he said, with a slight smile.
"I guess not. It was an impulsive and I never second guessed it, apparently." I shrugged.
"Do you regret escaping the hospital?" he suddenly asked.
I did not know how to answer, and the words did not come to me right away. However, after some time of remaining quiet I spoke:
"No, I don't. But yes, I do. I regret it because I always thought I would die in NYSPI before I was released. But no, I don't becasue I wouldn't be where I am right now." was all I could manage to make out, even if it was in broken pieces.
"Do you regret calling the ambulance?" I suddenly asked Mikey.
"No," he plainly stated.
"I don't regret anything that brought you into my life, no matter how hard you fought to get out of it," he then added, a slight smile creeping over his lips, much like the rose blush making its way over my cheeks.
I slid my hands over the fabric of my pants and was unsure of what else to say to finish the conversation.
"Just--" I started. "Thank you." I finished
Frigid cold impulses ran through my being as a whole; my hands felt like crystals of ice as they encased themselves around the cup of thermal liquid that hovered over the wooden table. In short, I was home--released from treatment with a flick of the wrist, deemed sane and ready to take on the world. In some sense, they were correct, however, in a stronger sense they were wrong.
Mikey had stayed with me while I rekindled what was left of my mind, over at a family house that was vacant besides the two of us. Occasionally, my sister would ghost over to check up on us, and comment on how we were playing house too early into our relationship, but I knew she was joking, mainly content I was alive. I reconnected with old friends whom I abandoned unintentionally when I entered treatment, many did not return the calls but one of my closest friends of the time did--Natalie. When she stopped by to see me, it was as if no time had passed, and she embraced my small being so very tightly I felt as though I was home. Her blonde locks and bright eyes looked entirely the same and her pale, pink tinged skin was welcoming.
I introduced her to Mikey and blantly told her the entire story of my treatment, escape, and eventual recovery. She listened to the whole story, never once interrupting and allowing me to speak wholeheartedly about treatment. She vowed in that moment to always be in contact with me, let alone there for me as a whole.
"Mikey is lucky to have someone strong like you," she whispered when Mikey left the room for a moment.
"I'm the lucky one in the situation. I always thought I wasn't worthy of being loved," I said back.
Natalie took my fridgid hands in hers, and she smiled an enchanting apperance upon her lips.
"If anyone is worthy of being loved, Jade, it's you. You're an amazing person, and I think everyone can see it but you. I hope one day you will see it, too." she said, her words bringing comfort to the darkest corners of my mind.
"Thank you," I whispered.
When she vacated the vicinity, Mikey sat down next to me at the table and I felt an overwhelming urge to suddenly be as honest as possible with him.
"When we were in the hotel room," I began, casuing him to raise his eyebrows.
"The drugs I intended to overdose on were yours--they were your seroquel," I sheepishly chocked out.
"I know," he hummed, unphased by the subject.
"How?" I suddenly asked.
"I was only suppose the take them when I needed them. You didn't think I wouldn't notice they were gone?" he said, with a slight smile.
"I guess not. It was an impulsive and I never second guessed it, apparently." I shrugged.
"Do you regret escaping the hospital?" he suddenly asked.
I did not know how to answer, and the words did not come to me right away. However, after some time of remaining quiet I spoke:
"No, I don't. But yes, I do. I regret it because I always thought I would die in NYSPI before I was released. But no, I don't becasue I wouldn't be where I am right now." was all I could manage to make out, even if it was in broken pieces.
"Do you regret calling the ambulance?" I suddenly asked Mikey.
"No," he plainly stated.
"I don't regret anything that brought you into my life, no matter how hard you fought to get out of it," he then added, a slight smile creeping over his lips, much like the rose blush making its way over my cheeks.
I slid my hands over the fabric of my pants and was unsure of what else to say to finish the conversation.
"Just--" I started. "Thank you." I finished
@The pink flamingos return
Thank you for your kind words! Many more chapters to come! :)
8/14/17