Cemetery Drive

All the blood dripping from my nose, mixing with the blood coming out of my mouth. Dripping. From my chin. My blood just flows down my neck covering choke marks. I was too far gone and only focused on my blood. The way it stained. Stained my skin. Stained the skin of my abuser. Nothing, but blood. All of me and all over you. Taking all my blood till I am nothing, but flesh and bones.

I never pleased you. The only time I did is when you had your bites all over my neck and when I was blue and purple with blood running over me. The way you bruised my skin and the way you cut my skin open. The way you yelled and cried from hurting me. That didn’t stop you. You just wanted blood. Gallons of that stuff. You took my blood. You played with it.

I watched how you enjoyed every fucking second of you hurting me. Every bruise. Every cut. Every faint. Every choke. Every drop of blood. I can see the lust in your eyes. The way they burned as you looked at me. Your gaze was so powerful I felt it was going to kill me, but when your eyes softened there was no harm. You seemed innocent and lost. You just wanted to love someone, but stumbled across me. The good for nothing shit, that never pleases you. Only when you hurt me.

You kept hurting me till I was nothing, but bones. You could’ve ran out on me, but you didn’t. Was my blood amusing enough for you to stay? How ugly you left me, was it so amusing to you to stay? Was your ‘I love you’ literally so far up your ass to even understand the feeling that it made you fucking stay? You were a monster that wasn’t capable of loving me. You had me, but your idea of me being yours was that I got to be your punching bag.

Was your idea of someone you loved being bruised and cut, but not from any asshole. From you. Fun? Wonderful? A turn on? How can you possibly be okay knowing you hurt the one you supposedly ‘love’ and to fucking know you were the one who caused them so much pain and stress? Was my crying, nothing, but a show to you? Of course, it was! My death was the grand finale! The rush you got, putting that fucking knife into my skull and leaving it there.

It’s probably the same rush Bert gets, when he hurts Gerard. How he leaves Gerard’s skin all bloody and bruised. The way his pale skin makes the purple marks pop out. The yellow bites on his neck, often covered in blood. Gerard doesn’t deserve all that pain. He is too innocent and kind. From being beaten every day of your life for years, you would expect them to be cold and heartless, but Gerard. The way he sees life and death makes him happy.

How he cares about everyone who is alive and how he doesn’t disrespect the dead. How he takes in the beauty of the Cemetery and the mausoleum just the way I do. I am sure he draws the inside of mausoleum in his sketchbook. There’s no doubt in my mind that he doesn’t. Thinking about Gerard. He makes me worry a lot, but the same time happy. Happy that I am finally getting feelings someone after my death, but worried that I always see him bruised after he was with Bert.

It reminds me of Jamia on how she saw me hurt every time I was Zacky. When she saw my skin purple and blue, covered in blood and yellow bites on my neck. How devastated she must’ve felt. It’s probably the same way I feel towards Gerard getting hurt. Although, Jamia loved me. G-Gerard? I am not sure. We happened to share a few kisses and act like a couple, but I don’t know how I feel towards him. I know I felt something when we kissed for the first time. I felt something stronger than I did to Jamia.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Gerard groaning as he woke up. He slowly opened his eyes, before closing them back again for a few seconds, smelling the sheets. I wanted to question what he was doing, but it was obvious he was smelling my scent. He opened his eyes again and looked at me with a smile.

“You smell of coffee and cigarette’s.” He slurred, sleep still thick in his voice.
I chuckled a bit, as he buried his face in my chest that is still bare from last night.

“What time do you have to go?” I asked, sadness clear in my voice.

He pulled away and sniffed.

“Right now, but I don’t want to.” He said as he started to cry.

I looked at him, softness in my eyes. I wiped away his tears with my thumb. I don’t want him to cry. He cries enough with Bert pounding on him, I don’t want him to cry. Especially not because of me.

“Don’t cry Gerard. We can do something in the meantime, before you really have to go.”

“I want to stay Frank, but my punishment will be worse. I don’t want him to-“

“Gerard, I beg you not to finish that sentence.” I cut in.

He sniffs and nods.

“Frankie…” He says.

“Yes?”

“Can I see your grave?”

I went cold. I don’t want him to see the disaster I left.

“No.” I said harsh.

“Why not?” He asked sitting up.

I sat up too and crossed my arm.

“I don’t want you to see it.”

“Why not Frank? If you had the guts to tell me you were dead, then you have the guts to show me your grave.”

“And yeah what was your reaction of me saying I was dead? If I do recall, you yelled at me and told me to not touch you.” I said anger clear in my voice.

“Yeah and do you know what I did after you said your story? I kissed you and if that meant nothing to you than yeah, I should leave!” With that Gerard got up.

“Gerard!” I called out, trying to catch his hand, but missing.

I got up myself and tossed my shirt on and ran after him. I kept chasing after him till he got to the elevator, closing the door before I could get him. I slammed my fist to the doors and fell to my knees. I didn’t realize I was crying till I saw the tears fall onto my lap. Gerard leaving, broke my heart. I wanted to explain more on why I didn’t want him to see my grave, but my anger and sarcasm took over making us fight. If I caught him before the elevator door closed, I would hug the shit out of him and kiss him, till we need air.

The thought knowing that he is going to run to Bert instead of the Cemetery pains me. He wouldn’t go to the Cemetery, because he knows I would find him there, so he would go to Bert for comfort. I don’t believe he would go to him for comfort. After what Bert did and still does to him, he wouldn’t go to him and especially since he was not home last night and is crying.

I stood up and walked back to my apartment, sniffing as tears still streamed down my face. I walk in and lock my door, plopping face down onto my couch that needs to be cleaned, since it still has a bit of Gerard’s blood left on it. I need to go find him. I am starting to care so much for him and its scaring me. That’s says a lot, since I am dead and not afraid of the Cemetery.

I know enough of him to know he would be at the Cemetery right now to release stress, and that he wouldn’t go if someone who hangs out at the Cemetery is chasing him. I also know he wouldn’t run to Bert, since he would be abused. It only leaves me with the option that might have run somewhere else that I don’t know. He said he doesn’t have any friends or family, so I don’t know where he would go/ I want to believe that probably went to the Cemetery in hope of finding my grave.

I stood back up and grabbed my keys, before leaving the apartment. I must be quick to the Cemetery. I can see the rain pouring outside, since I took the stairs and they have windows on the way down and it’s not fun to walk to the Cemetery in the rain. It gets extremely muddy and slippery. I ran past the front desk with strange looks, but I didn’t care. All I cared was to find Gerard and make sure he is okay and happy.

With the first step through the door, I am drenched by the rain. I groaned, but just went with it. I started to run towards the Cemetery, slipping a few times. I groaned as my arms got scrapped against the concrete, tearing my skin open revealing my blood. I jolt up and continued. I was getting tired, since the Cemetery was a bit far from my apartment, but not to, run or walk to.

I make it to the Cemetery and run through the gates, my heart racing and my blood dripping all over my arms. I scan the area in hope to see Gerard outside, but I didn’t see him. My heart shattered more and I began to cry once again. I walked slowly around the Cemetery, careful not to step on the muddy graves to see if Gerard is at the back of the Cemetery. My breath hitched when I heard yells coming from the mausoleum. I panicked from the yelling. They were audible through the loud rain.

Another yell echoed out, sounding like a cry a bit. It sounded awfully familiar and I freaked out more. I don’t want to think that it’s Gerard yelling in there. Another yell echoed out, pulling me from my panicked thoughts. I ran towards the mausoleum and barged right in to an awful scene. I was right. Gerard was the one yelling. Anger flooded me, when I saw Bert kicking him. Gerard noticed I was there watching. I wanted to cry as I saw one of his beautiful eyes swollen.

“Leave him alone!” I yelled, getting Bert’s attention.

He stopped kicking Gerard and looked up at me.

“You again!” He hissed.

“Leave him alone.” I said cold.

Bert looked between Gerard and I, suspiciously. I think he is catching onto me and Gerard. God, I hope not. Gerard noticed what I was seeing he began to cry more as he curled up into a ball. Gerard isn’t going to be in the best of hands after this moment.

“What? Are you going to stab me again?”

I froze and my eyes rolled back. I panted a bit. The burning sensation in my eyes, made me want to cry.

“You don’t think I know about you and Jamia?” He spat.
I froze cold, thoughts running in my head to what is he going to do to me.
“You cheated on me!”
“You left me no choice. You wouldn’t let me go and I wanted to be with her.” I studied his face from what I said and I quickly regretted it.
“If I can’t have you neither can she!” After that I all I remember is a knife to my head.

That scene replayed in my head. My eyes never rolled back before. Scary enough the first time they did that it was to remind me of my death. I wanted to cry, when my eyes rolled back and with my death flashback, but I couldn’t. I was too busy being tackled by Bert.

“Fight me faggot!” He said, punching my face.

I snapped back into reality and grabbed his wrists. He tried to pull away, but I had a tight grip on him, which I am worried he might learn to use on Gerard, but he is too stupid. After someone stabs you, I don’t think you want to mess with that person anymore. The thought of him doing this move on Gerard, got to my head.

I flipped us over and choked him. I didn’t know why I was hurting him. I just know I wanted to hurt him. No. No. No. Don’t tell me. Am I turning into Zacky?! I am, aren’t I? Before Zacky killed me, I wouldn’t dare hurt someone, but after many years. I come across this guy and I and I become violent. I realize I am hurting him, quite bad that I let go of him and back off.

Bert gets up and has a scared look on his face. The look I had when Zacky first hurt me. I felt my stomach turn and the eyes, that belong to the beautiful Gerard, burning into me. I felt like complete shit. I want to apologize to Bert, but the way he treats Gerard and the way he tackled me I don’t think I should. Bert gets a blank face and spits on me, before he ran off.
I was hoping for Gerard to run off too, when I turned around to see his scared face. The way his one good eye looked. Fear and heartbroken was bright in his eye. I think he wanted to run, but how his leg looks I don’t think he can. I buried my face into my hands and began to cry. I didn’t want Gerard to fear me.

“F-F-Frank-ie.” He stuttered.

I looked up and saw him, crawling my way. I panicked and ran to him.

“Gerard!” I panicked.

I fell to my knees, safe distance from him after what I just did.

“Gerard, I am sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I-I g-got a flashback of my death and it scared me when I zoned back in and Bert was on me and I didn’t know what to do. I got scared on how much I was like Zacky a-a-and-“

Gerard cut me off, by getting up and kissed me. I melted into the kiss and wrapped my arms around him, gently. I don’t want to hurt him. I sniffed and smiled, as he smiled into the kiss. He pulled away and smiled at me with a half-busted lip. He wiped away my tears and crawled himself onto my lap. I chuckled a bit and wrapped my arms around his small frame. Extremely to say.

“Y-You’re not going to leave me?” I sniffed.

“No. I don’t care that you are crazy violent towards Bert. I makes me happy that I have someone to be there for me and I know you would never hurt me. I know how Zacky was to you and I know you wouldn’t do that to anyone else.” He smiled at me.

I smiled back and kissed the top of his head.

“Also!” He said.

“Don’t ever say you are like Zacky! You two are very different. You wouldn’t dare lay a fucking finger on someone you care about. You watch out for them and take care of them instead.”

“But Gerard. I never hurt someone before Zacky killed me. Bert was the first asshole I hurt and that reminds me of Zacky.”

“You two are very different Frankie and you have something he doesn’t to prove it.”
I hummed and nodded for him to carry on.

“You have a beautiful man sitting on your lap, talking to you and is really happy when you’re around.”

I smiled at him and kissed his temple.

“I want to show you something.” I said and got up carrying Gerard bridal style.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and looked at me as I walked back out of the mausoleum and back into the now sprinkling rain. I looked down at Gerard for a second and smiled at him, before continuing where I was going. I carried him to the back of the mausoleum to my grave. He looked a bit confused to where I was going, but then when my destroyed grave came into view he got a sad look on his face.

“Frankie.” He whispered as he looked at it.

I got on my knees in front of it, with Gerard on my lap. He never looked away from the destroyed grave. He kept starring at it. His eyes on the brink of tears.

“I did this.” I said putting my head on his head.

He turned his head, making me pick up mine. Gerard buried his head into the crook of my neck and sniffed.

“I did this, because I was frustrated that Lindsey brought me back. I took my anger out on my grave. If you look closely. The blood you see, is mine. I got hurt when I was hitting it with a vase. I was caught and people freaked and everyone started to say I haunted the Cemetery. The police got involved and they freaked out when I talked to them. I was accused to many things like kidnapping and vandalizing. I did vandalize the Cemetery in a way, but not really since it was my grave.”

Gerard sniffed and nodded.

“I got a lot of stuff on my record which makes a 19-year-old happy.” I said harsh.

“The good part of this is that Jamia left me her favorite book and her friends left me my favorite outfit which ironically I am wearing.” I chuckled a bit.

“But the best part is that I got to meet you.” And was given a second chance to give you a second chance. I thought to myself. Gerard doesn’t need to know that.

Gerard smiled and kissed my neck, sniffing.

“Is your body there?” He whispered.

I didn’t want to answer that. I knew what was in there and I don’t think he is in the right state right now to know what’s in there. To be honest. I don’t think I am going to tell him. I was quiet for a bit. I had to respond, so I just bit my lip and shrugged. I really hope I never have to open it.

“Come on Gerard. You’re about to pass out.” I said getting up and picking him up again, bridal style.

He smiled faintly and wrapped his arms around my neck and drifted off to sleep. I chuckled and smiled to myself. I carried him out of the Cemetery, holding him close as he was getting limp. I had to hurry up, since he is still bleeding with blood staining his clothing and mine. He still needs to be cleaned, before his cuts get infected. The Cemetery is no friendly place for the living, since it has worms and mushrooms and things like that. Well. Only at the abandoned ones, but they are friendly and beautiful to us.

I got to my apartment, kicking my door closed as I carried him to the bathroom. I gently laid him in the tub, careful not to wake him. I walk over to the cabinet in my bathroom and took out some bandages and some medicine for the cuts. I got what I needed and walked over to him and knelt down and began to clean him up. Luckily, he wasn’t conscious or would be yelling right now. Also, lucky for me. The cuts and bruises were in only visible areas so I didn’t have to strip him.

I heard Gerard groan, which made me freeze a bit. He slowly opened his eyes and lifted his head, rubbing his swollen eye with his finger. I grabbed at his wrist for him not to do that, but that only made him jump and yell.

“Gerard, calm down. It’s me, Frankie.”

He looked at me and began to cry again. I got into the tub and pulled him into a hug. I let him cry onto my shoulder as I gently rubbed my hand up and down his back to calm him down. Once he settled, he pulled away and looked at me.

“I t-thought you were Bert again.” He sniffed.

“It’s okay Gerard. It’s just Frankie.”

Gerard looked up and kissed my cheek. I smiled and melted into his touch.

“Come on. I need to finish cleaning your wounds.”

He nodded and pulled away. I smiled and kissed his head and got out of the tub.

“I promise to be gentle.” I smiled at him.

He returned the smiled and leaned back in the tub.

I began cleaning the wound I was already cleaning. I was doing it as slowly as possible, but Gerard kept wincing at the pain. I assured him he will be okay once I am done cleaning him. Once we are done I picked him up and carried him to my room, gently placing him on my bed. I walked over opened my closet to grab us something finally comfortable to sleep in.

I gave Gerard some batman pants and a plain black shirt. I stepped out to give him privacy to change as I changed in the hallway. I said I don’t like to sleep with shirts, so I am once again shirtless. I knocked on my door and waited till Gerard responded that he was clothed. I walked back in and threw my clothes to a pile on the floor, before crawling into bed.

Gerard soon followed and cuddled up next to me, burring his face into my chest. I smiled and hugged him. I took a glance at my hands and noticed they were stained of blood and dirt. I felt bad that these nasty hands are touching my Gerard’s skin. He is too innocent for the hands of a monster. I choked a man and I feel disgusting about it.

The things I’ve done with these hands don’t deserve to hold this beautiful man. Especially since said beautiful man witnessed what I have done with them. I sighed and kissed his head. I hope Gerard stays safe. He is too close on having my ending and I don’t want that. I don’t want him to leave me. He is the only reason why I am still here. I would have left Earth again a long time ago, but I had a feeling that something was going to make me stay. That something is Gerard and I don’t want to lose him.

Notes

Sorry if its triggering and extremely sad. This was 3788 words and hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hinthint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint,hint, hint, hint, hint, hint, hint. I dropped so many fucking hints for the next few chapters and the ending. WATCH OUT O_O

Edit: Fuck I meant to take out the ending hints, but fuck it. Enjoy the ending hints. Hopefully you guys wont know the ending hints :) Also. I would love some feedback. :))))))

xojordan