F
I slammed my front door behind me and Chris was suddenly in front of me, his hand on my chest. “Whoah, Frank. You're uh..not supposed to be home yet.”
“Well I am,” I snapped, slapping his hand away harshly. “Aren't you happy to see me, Christopher?”
Chris sighed and stroked my hair slowly. “Hey. Whatever happened at Gerard’s, we can talk about it for as long as you like...just...can you give me an hour? Maybe you can go up to my room and watch some tv?”
I flexed my fingers before curling them into fists, my throat tight. In that moment, I had no idea how I felt about anything. I wanted to cry just as much as I wanted to punch Chris in the face.
“Why? What are you hiding from me?”
Chris sighed and shook his head. “I'm not hiding anything, Frank. Ricky is here and I just..”
“You what? Don't want me to meet him? Why the fuck not, are you fucking ashamed of me?”
He took a deep breath. “Frank, you can't speak to me that way, you're being disrespectful and extremely rude. Go upstairs to your room and I will come find you.”
“Fuck you!” I shouted, finally losing it as I shook my finger in his face, tears welling up in my eyes. “Fuck you and fuck your stupid lies about loving me! You want me to go upstairs so you can fuck your little boyfriend on the couch and kick me to the fucking curb! All because you think I'm not fucking fit for company!”
Chris grabbed my wrists, taking deep breaths. “Frank, I need you to calm down so I can explain.”
I spat in his face and he let go, wiping his cheek with his sleeve. I stared at him for a second, terror gripping me briefly before transforming into yet more anger. I stormed into the living room, my chest heaving as I stared at Ricky.
He was even smaller in person, his long black hair falling over his shoulders. He watched me worriedly as I hesitated.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I growled at last. “Don't you ever fucking come near my family again, I-”
Chris grabbed me from behind, throwing me over his shoulder. “Stay there, Ricky. Frank and I need a talk.”
I knew from past experience that it wasn't worth fighting back, so I just hung there as Chris carried me upstairs, my tears dripping onto the carpet.
He laid me in bed carefully, but subtly pinned me down as soon as I tried to move.
“Frank. Focus for a second. I didn't want you to meet Ricky because we’re still figuring stuff out. I didn't want to put you through that stress if he isn't going to be around for very long. I also don't know if he's changed, and I don't want you exposed to someone whom I don't know isn't harmful in some way. I was trying to protect you, and I should have just said it, but I didn't want to hurt Ricky's feelings, cause we have thin walls.”
My whole body went limp and I started to cry softly. Chris sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling me into a gentle hug.
“I'm s-sorry!” I choked out, gripping the back of his shirt tightly.
“It's okay, Frankie,” Chris soothed, stroking my hair slowly. “It's okay. What got you so upset when you got home? Hmm?”
I sniffed, trying to calm down and failing. “It was Gerard's birthday today and he didn't t-tell me. And then he tried to tell me that he forgot..”
Chris sighed, pulling away enough to look at me. “What exactly did he say?”
“He said he doesn't celebrate his birthday, only the day he got adopted.”
Chris brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek, catching a few of my tears. “That can be common with kids who are adopted. I'd hear him out, Frankie. I know it's hard because you feel like you've been lied to, but I really doubt he meant to make you feel that way. He's not going to stop being your friend, and even if he did, he wouldn't be that subtle about it. No one is. Okay?”
I nodded shakily and Chris took both of my hands in his, squeezing gently as he looked at me intently. “Promise me you understand what I said and you’ll stop worrying about it?”
I nodded again and Chris kissed the top of my head lightly as he got up. “I need to go and talk to Ricky for a while. If I feel happy to, I'll bring you down to meet him, okay? But for now just try to relax and maybe have a chat with Gerard.”

I was curled up in bed when Chris came back up about an hour later. He walked in and crouched down by the bed, smiling at me. “Hey.”
I shifted and offered him a tiny smile in return. “Hi.”
He rubbed my shoulder gently, sighing softly. “Ricky and I have had a nice long talk and he'd really like to meet you. Would you like to come downstairs? We're gonna have some ice cream.”
I stared at him for short while and he sighed again, nodding. “You don't have to, Frankie, it's alright.”
I shook my head slightly. “I want to but I feel so bad,” I mumbled, curling up tighter. Chris frowned and started to rub my side slowly. “Can I help?”
I shrugged.
“Is it about earlier?”
I nodded.
He stroked my cheek gently, kneeling down. “Ricky isn't worried about that. He's been through some rough stuff like you, and he understands wanting to lash out. And Gerard will be okay. Just talk to him tomorrow, explain how it made you feel. He’ll get it. I'm fine too. We've had much worse fights and you apologized. I accepted your apology.”
I shrugged again and Chris bit his lip lightly. “Alright. I'm gonna go downstairs for a while, how about you come down when you're ready?”
I shook my head and sat up, grabbing at his hand. He smiled and stood up, helping me out of bed carefully. “What ice cream do you want?”
I shrugged once more and he sighed. “Okay. Come on..”
I refused to let go of his hand as he led me downstairs. I was acting like a little kid, but I didn't care, still feeling sick and empty. Chris gently pulled me into the living room and I took a deep breath. Ricky was still sitting on the couch, but this time he smiled at me and stood up, walking over. From this angle, I could see the scar on his face. He'd been turned away from me before, the scar hidden from view. It cut down from above his eyebrow, through his cloudy eye, and down his cheek. Chris squeezed my hand as Ricky walked up to me, offering me his hand. I let go of Chris's to shake his, smiling nervously.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” Ricky smiled brightly. “Thank you, Frank. For contacting me, I needed it.”
Chris sighed quietly. “After Ricky left me, he ran into some trouble and then managed to convince himself I wouldn't want him anymore.”
Ricky’s smile turned sheepish and he shrugged. “I'm not really the kind of person to believe that I deserve much, and with the scar..” He trailed off and I nodded vaguely, a little overwhelmed. Chris rubbed my back lightly, pointing to the couch. “Come sit down, Frankie. I'll go get you some ice cream.”
I walked over, curling up in the furthest end of the couch. Ricky sat at the other end, glancing at me worriedly. “I'm sorry you've had a bad day, Frank.”
I shrugged, looking down at my hands.
“Chris told me a little bit about you...and I want you to know that I've been through some stuff a bit like you have-”
I scoffed, but didn't say anything, looking to the side sharply. Ricky took a deep breath.
“I had an abusive boyfriend for a few years before I met Chris. He did some really horrible stuff to me, so...I know I'll never understand what you went through, in the same way as you'll never understand what I went through. But if you ever need to talk...I'm here for you.”
I shot him a look. “You don't know me.”
Ricky shrugged with one shoulder. “I know Chris. And he seems to think you're a really good kid. I trust his opinion.”
I looked away again quickly, folding my hands in my lap. “What're you gonna do? With Chris?”
“We're gonna try again,” Ricky said quietly. “Chris really wants to and I still love him.”
I nodded slightly as Chris walked back into the room, carrying a bowl. He handed it to me and sat down next to Ricky, wrapping an arm around the smaller man. I tucked my knees up, staring straight ahead as I ate a spoonful of my ice cream.
Chris sighed quietly, watching me worriedly. “Frankie?”
“Yeah?” I didn't look at him.
“Did you talk to Gerard?”
I shook my head slowly. “I'll talk to him at school.”
“Okay. Do you wanna watch a movie?”
I shrugged and Chris turned the tv on, picking a random movie. I finished my ice cream off quickly and grabbed a blanket, pulling it over myself. I felt pathetic, hiding from Ricky, but all I wanted to do was sleep.
I heard my phone ring and Chris tossed it to me. I looked at the caller ID. Gerard. I got up, answering it as I walked into the kitchen.
“Hey, Frank. I've been trying to text you,” he said softly. “I um...I'm really sorry. For not telling you. I just...I don't really like making a big deal out of it..”
I took a deep breath. Explain how it made you feel. “I um...you really upset me, Gerard,” I mumbled, my fingers shaky as I rubbed my eyes. “I felt like you didn't want to tell me. Like I wasn't important.”
Gerard took a sharp breath in. “No! Frankie, I'm so sorry, that's not what I meant at all...You're very important to me, of course you are. I was actually gonna tell you today that I want you to come over next month, when I celebrate with my family...I was gonna talk to you about it after dinner..”
I sniffed and put a hand over my eyes, trying to breathe evenly. “Oh. R-really?”
Gerard laughed softly, but I could hear him sniffing as well. “Yeah! You dummy..”
I giggled nervously and bit my lip. “I'm sorry.”
“It's okay, Frankie. Really. It was just a misunderstanding, it happens.”
“Okay.”
There was a short pause and Gerard sighed. “How are you? Are you home?”
“Yeah, I'm okay. Um. Ricky's here. It's kind of weird.”
“Oh. Does he seem nice?”
“I think so. I'm just not in the best mood. I had a fight with Chris over it and it's just awkward. I kind of shouted at Ricky and yeah...I dunno. Chris seems happy.”
Gerard sighed quietly. “I wish I could come over and keep you company, but I have like three hours of homework to do..”
“That's okay. I'll be fine,” I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. “We’re watching a movie now, I'll just hide in the corner.”
Gerard chuckled. “Alright. You better tell me all about it at school tomorrow.”
“I will, I promise. I'll see you then.”
“Okay. Goodnight.”
Gerard hung up and I sighed, turning around and nearly dropping my phone. “Chris!”
He was leaning in the doorway, watching me. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” he smiled. “Did you sort things out?”
I nodded slightly. “Yeah. He's fine.”
“I told you so.”
“I know.”
“Are you gonna drop the bad mood now?”
I flipped him off and he rolled his eyes.
“I guess not. I think Ricky's gonna head out now, we’re both a little tired and you need to go to bed soon.”
I nodded and followed Chris into the hall, staying half behind him as Ricky smiled at me, tugging his shoes on.
“Sorry I gotta go, Frank. But we can um...see each other again soon.”
I nodded awkwardly. “Okay..”
Chris stepped forward, gently helping Ricky with his coat. I swallowed, my mouth suddenly dry. The way Chris looked at Ricky was breathtaking. He kissed him ever so softly and I felt like crying. I wanted that so desperately, the gentle touches and fierce love. In that moment, I realised that that was all I wanted. All I needed.
Sure, Chris loved me. But not like that, not in the same way. I wanted to love someone and be loved as deeply and sincerely as that.
It hadn't just been a kiss to anyone in the room. Ricky was blushing, but smiling to himself as he slipped out. Chris looked at peace, waving before he closed the front door. And I stood there dumbly, reeling from the revelation.
Chris looked at me. “Are you okay?”
I blinked, the spell broken. “Y-yeah..”

---

Gerard was waiting for me outside when I got to lunch. He hadn't been around that morning. He was sitting on a bench outside the gym, reading something on his phone. His soft red hair had fallen down, hiding his face. I stood there for a second, watching him before he noticed me. Then he looked up and I dropped my backpack, stepping towards him.
“Hey Frankie.”
I leaned down and kissed him.
Gerard quickly but gently pushed me away, laughing. Confused, I tried to step back, but he caught my arm. “Sorry, Frankie. Sorry. Come sit down..”
Shaking, I sat down next to him, my eyes wide. “I'm sorry, I didn't-”
Gerard giggled and grabbed my jaw, kissing me briefly. “Shut up!”
I swallowed, staring at him nervously as he grinned at me, his face still inches from mine.
“Jesus, Frank. I was waiting for you to do that, but I didn't expect it to be so sudden!”
I smiled sheepishly, biting my lip lightly. “Sorry. I um...yeah.”
Gerard leaned back, giggling as he watched me, his cheeks almost as red as his hair. I blushed, rubbing my eyes.
“Why?”
I looked at him and shrugged. “I'm sick of waiting.”
“But why did you change your mind so suddenly? I mean...I didn't see that coming at all,” Gerard smiled, gently taking one of my hands and squeezing it.
“I saw Ricky with Chris last night,” I mumbled, looking down at our hands. “How much they love each other. I want that.”
Gerard kissed me again, this time slipping his spare hand into my hair and pulling me closer. I wrapped an arm around his waist, holding him as we kissed. I let him pull away first, smiling nervously at me. “I'm...I have no idea what I'm doing...I'm sorry.”
I smiled and stroked my thumb over his cheek, resting my forehead on his. “It's okay, I don't care right now. You'll pick it up.”
He let out a soft breath and closed his eyes. “Fuck, I wanna go home..”
I frowned, leaning back slightly. “Why? What's wrong?”
Gerard smiled and looked at me, his hazel eyes soft and caring. “Because I want to cuddle with you and kiss you and I can't do that at school.”
I bit my lip lightly. “We could skip?”
Gerard shook his head slowly. “No, my mum would kill me. But we can go right after school. I want to just talk to you for a while.”
The way he said it immediately made me worried. “About what?”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “There's a couple things I haven't told you about myself and I just feel you ought to know them. That's all. It's nothing bad.”
He smiled at me, but something was off about it.
“You're nervous about it,” I pointed out quietly. Gerard nodded.
“I've never told anyone about it before.”
“Should I be worried?”
He shook his head and stroked my cheek slowly. “No. I'll tell you as soon as we get home after school, okay?”
“Is it a big deal?” I insisted, chewing on my lip.
Gerard nodded slightly. “Kind of. But don't worry about it, Frankie. It shouldn't affect...us. If I can call this that.”
I smiled as brightly as I could. “Yes. Yes, I'd like this to be an us.”
He giggled and opened his arms. “Hug?”
I hugged him tightly, burying my face in his shoulder as I relaxed for the first time that day.

Notes

So a little drama and a little cute stuff :)
What's Gerard going to tell Frankie? I have a feeling you guys can probably guess