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If You Marry Me, Would You... (Frerard)

Chapter 17

Gerard opened his eyes.

Jonathan was already staring at him, both of them frozen, their noses barely touching.

They stayed in place as the footsteps kept echoing through the air, getting a bit closer, the small puddles of rainwater splashing under their feet.

Gerard and Jonathan kept their eyes locked. The older man seemed a bit scared and startled, but Jonathan gave him a soothing look that made his tense body relax slightly.

When the footsteps continued on, they turned their heads towards the source noise, and found out that the steps weren't walking along the alley, but outside of it.

Then a young couple appeared in sight. The two were slightly shivering from the cold, clinging to each other's side as the girl wrapped her arms around the boy's waist, and his were around her shoulders in a protective gesture.

Gerard and Jonathan stared at them as they walked outside the alley, not even noticing the two men, and disappeared into the quiet street.

Slowly, the boys turned their head back to each other. Jonathan began leaning in again, but Gerard pulled his head away slightly.

"No," he whispered. The younger opened his eyes and looked at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

"I-I have to go," Gerard said and let go of Jonathan's arms, but the younger, who now had his hands at the back of the elder's neck, stayed there and didn't move.

"What did I do?" He murmured quietly, keeping their faces close.

"You used the song," Gerard replied simply, not even glaring at him or showing anger in his words. "You knew I wouldn't be able to resist if you use the song."

"You could resist at any moment, Gerard. That song isn't hypnotic."

"You know how I feel when you sing it," Gerard whispered shakily.

Jonathan smirked a little and tucked Gerard's hair behind his ear. That motion, he knew, was something Gerard could never get sick off. It always made him weaker and more desperate.

And then he moved his hand along the man's jaw, to his chin, where he held his head up gently and leaned closer.

"You wouldn't be feeling the same about this song if you'd really want us to be over," he whispered and kissed Gerard's nose.

Gerard shivered.

He closed his eyes only for a second before recovering and opening them again.

"I do want us to be over," he murmured.

"Why are you here then?"

Gerard gulped. Why WAS he there? He looked up at Jonathan and replied.

"B-because you asked me to."

"Oh, give me a break," the younger rolled his eyes shortly, "Here you are, pinned up against the goddamn wall and you're not even trying to get me to move."

"You wouldn't move even if I did."

"Try me," Jonathan smirked.

Gerard didn't say anything. He looked the man in front of him up and down before speaking up in a small calm whisper.

"Get the fuck off of me, Jonathan."

The younger smirked again, and slowly but surely let go of Gerard.

"As you wish, honey," he said and stepped away from the elder. "But I'll be seeing you around. No matter how long it takes you to realize you still want me."

"I was good for the past three years," Gerard said simply and stood up from his position of leaning against the wall. "I think I'll be just fine now."

"Have it your way then," Jonathan said, and gently took Gerard's hand and leaned in to kiss his cheek softly. "Have fun with Frankie."

Gerard didn't respond to that. He quietly pulled away from the younger man's grasp and stepped back.

"Goodbye, Jonathan," he said and turned around, slowly walking away, towards his house, and he heard the other man call behind him.

"I'll get you someday."

Gerard doubted it. There was no way Jonathan would ever get him back, no matter how close he got.

Because Gerard was done. He saw it all. The other man and him just couldn't be together without being a disaster. They both knew it.

So yeah, there was no chance in the world Gerard was falling for it again. Jonathan could do as best as he wanted to, it wasn't going to work.

But what if it did?

Gerard bowed his head a little as he was about to exit the alley. He felt the younger's eyes following him as he walked.

He could easily guess what Jonathan was thinking about. Him. His ass. His body. Everything that had to do with sex.

Jonathan was desperate for contact just as much as Gerard was, but the younger man was more possessive, more powerful. He had control when he wanted it and always got what he wanted.

He could slam Gerard against the wall and eat him alive and Gerard would let him.

Because that's what they were: a disaster. Simply a walking tornado.

But isn't that what Gerard wanted? Didn't he want to be thrown on the bed and pounded until his vision went dark?

The older man pressed his eyes shut. 'I am such a whore,' he thought... or knew.

Gerard took a deep breath as he headed home in the puzzled weather of February, thoughts of Jonathan not leaving his mind for a second.

But there was absolutely nothing in the world that was going to get him falling for Jonathan again. No, not again. He's not in love with him. He never was.

No. He belonged to Frank and Frank only. He cared for Frank, he loved Frank, he wanted Frank. And nobody else.

Especially not Jonathan. That was the truth he chose to believe in. Gerard Way never loved Jonathan Lano. Never.

....

Right?

xoxoxoxo

Frank woke up to the morning sunlight, his face buried in a warm chest of the man he loved waking up in his arms so much.

They were clinging to each other under the blanket, their arms around each other, no space at all between their bodies. Frank loved it.

He looked up at the older man's face, who had his eyes opened, but he seemed tired, mentally exhausted and a bit sad.

"Hey," Frank murmured and pressed a kiss to his collarbone.

Gerard's face immediately lit up as he glanced down and was met with the younger's bright face, greeting him.

"Hey," he whispered and leaned in to kiss the boy's lips, just because he suddenly missed them so much.

Frank kissed back shortly, and was about to say something else when Gerard pressed his lips onto his again, drawing out the kiss more than intended.

"Are you okay?" Frank murmured against the slow motion of Gerard's lips.

"Yeah," the other replied with a grin and pecked him once more before looking at him again.

"Okay," Frank said. And then they didn't say anything. They let silence take over them and just relaxed with the other's company. It was nice, it allowed them to calm down and stare at each other for as long as they wanted, watching closely for the marks and bruises. They always did.

Until Frank suddenly broke the silence.

"Where did you go last night?"

Gerard's smile faded. He stopped stroking Frank's hair and kind of froze.

"Oh. I didn't know you noticed," he said.

"I just sort of felt it. I was a little cold and woke up half-heartedly. That's when I noticed you weren't there. But I fell asleep quickly so I couldn't come look for you. Where were you?"

"At Bob's," Gerard shrugged. "He needed some help with something."

"In the middle of the night?" Frank raised a playful eyebrow.

"Well we always call each other late and ask for help. It's a common thing between us."

Gerard pressed a soft kiss to Frank's nose, knowing it would distract the boy further.

There were times when he hated being such a good liar. It screwed him up before, plenty of times. But right now he really thanked god for having this ability.

The less Frank knew, the better.

"Oh. Okay then," the younger grinned. He actually believed it, with only the smallest doubt in the back of his mind. He immediately suppressed that doubt, because he simply trusted Gerard too much.

And if Bob called him over in the middle of the night it must've been something important.

"So, I wanted to go help out in the store today. Bob and Livvie should both be there, but it'll be nice to meet them anyway," Gerard cut off his thoughts.

Frank mentally shook his head and nodded up at the older man, smiling.

xoxoxoxo

The two arrived at the store, greeting the brothers and then starting off with helping around.

All along Frank couldn't stop thinking about what Gerard told him.

'Come on. Why would you think Gerard was up to something? He was just helping his best friend. Nothing more. It's not like he went out and got drunk and cheated. He was completely sober when you saw him in the morning, and he wasn't even nervous about telling you what he was doing.'

Frank closed his eyes and tried to deny those thoughts.

Eventually he decided on doing the most rational thing.

He looked over at the older man, who was near one of the shelves talking to Livvie, not really paying attention to what Frank was doing, so the younger walked over to the counter where Bob was standing, taking care of a few customers and then waving them goodbye as they left off.

"Hey, Bob," Frank greeted as he walked over to the bearded man.

Bob turned to him with a smile as he leaned over the counter.

"Hey Frank. What's up?"

"Good. And everything's alright with you, right?"

"Sure. Why are you asking?"

"Oh, nothing special. Gerard said you needed some help last night. I thought something might've happened."

Bob frowned.

"What?"

"What? Gerard went out last night. He told me in the morning that he was with you, and that you needed help with something."

Bob didn't need more then a second to work out exactly what happened last night.

Suddenly his expression changed. His frown disappeared, his features softened, and he gave a small smile.

"Oh, yeah. For a second there I almost forgot. Yes, I asked Gerard to come over because I got drunk and had a killer hangover. He always knows what to do, and I didn't want to take the risk in doing something stupid. So he took me home and stayed for a while. Don't worry. He was with me. He helped me out."

"Oh," Frank said, feeling major relief washing over him, "Good. I'm glad you're both safe. I got worried."

"Don't," Bob said softly and put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Now, I think you might wanna go out to the grocery shop and buy some stuff. Last time I checked, Gerard was missing milk and sugar."

"Yeah, I should probably go get some. Thanks Bob. I hope you're feeling better."

"I am! Come back to the store when you return," The bearded man called after him cheerfully.

Once Frank was out of the store, though, Bob was coming out from behind the counter and walking over to where the older man and Livvie were still talking quietly.

"Hey, Livs, mind taking my place at the cash register? I need to have a quick word with Gerard," he said calmly.

"Sure," Livvie replied, and finished her conversation with the elder before walking away to the waiting customers.

Once she was out of sight, Bob was grabbing the front of Gerard's shirt and pulling him closer, making the older gasp as his eyes widened.

"Where the fuck did you go last night?" He asked sternly.

Gerard was shocked at first, looking at the other's demanding expression, thinking of something to say.

"I... I was..." he began, swallowing. "I told Frank I was helping you out."

"Yeah, and you're lucky I just told him the same thing, or else you'd have some serious explaining to do. But you are going to tell ME the truth whether you like it or not."

Gerard looked at him in fear, partly glad that Bob played along with his little lie. But now he would have to tell the bearded man the real story. Even if he didn't want to.

"I... I went to..."

"Who was it?" Bob pressed, "Was it Michael? Or was it Jonathan again?"

The older man squeezed his eyes shut in shame. He nodded his head slightly, knowing that Bob was already onto him.

"Oh," the younger said quietly, and let go of Gerard, leaving him to stand in front of the bearded man with a sad expression. "I see," he continued, and the two were left in sort of an awkward situation. "What happened?"

Gerard hung his head, feeling the blood rush to his face, painting his pale cheeks in pink.

"He wanted to talk," he shrugged, and Bob raised an eyebrow.

"And you said yes?"

"What choice did I have?" Gerard asked desperately.

"WHERE did he want to talk?" Bob asked sternly, starting to get very pissed off.

"The alley," the elder replied shakily.

"Oh god. What did he do to you there?"

"He talked to me. I swear, he didn't do anything."

"This is Jonathan we're talking about. He did something to you, tell me what it was."

"Nothing, we just talked. We didn't even-"

"Didn't even WHAT, Gerard? What the hell happened?"

"You're scaring me, Bob! Stop asking so many questions!"

"No! I'm worried for you. This guy raped you, Gerard. And now he wants to talk to you, in the ALLEY. And after all you two have been through, I thought..."

"It wasn't the only time we met after he raped me," the older man blurted out without really thinking it through.

Bob's eyes widened.

"What?" He mumbled, "G-Gerard, wha... why would you... but he... and you were..."

Suddenly he was grabbing Gerard's arm and tugging the man behind him, out of the store through the back door, and he threw Gerard against the brick wall.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Bob snapped, practically growling out his words at the older man. "LIKE, WHAT WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?! JONATHAN COMES BACK INTO YOUR LIFE, DRIVES YOU CRAZY, RAPES YOU, ATTACKS YOU, MAKES YOU BLEED, AND BARELY TWO WEEKS LATER YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TALK TO HIM LIKE YOU TWO ARE SOME GOOD OLD FRIENDS, LIKE NOTHING EVEN HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU?! DO YOU WANT TO HAVE HIM INSIDE OF YOU AGAIN?! BECAUSE I THINK YOU REALLY ENJOY HIM FUCKING WITH YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR BODY!"

Gerard had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"You don't understand, Bob," he stuttered out.

"Oh, I understand VERY WELL!" He shut him up, "You know, I am fucking worried about you Gerard. You're falling for that bastard again without remembering all the things he did to you!"

"I-I do remember," Gerard whispered brokenly, leaning against the wall for some support.

"Then why would you still go see him? Huh? Have you even thought of what it might do to you? Or to Frank??"

"I did!" Gerard tried to protest desperately. Gosh, he hated yelling. Bob almost never yelled at him, so this time he knew for sure that he screwed up.

But suddenly Bob stopped yelling. His expression softened again and he simply gazed at Gerard with pure pity.

"Don't look at me like that," Gerard murmured darkly. "I don't need you telling me it's gonna be okay, or that I'll be fine. I just need to know what to do with myself."

He sniffled quietly. The bearded man slowly pulled him into a hug, and that's when Gerard broke down and cried into the man's shoulder, immediately letting it all out.

"Shh. It's okay, Gerard. It's okay," he soothed. "You'll know what to do. I know you will. You always have in the past."

"B-but, but Jonathan. H-he..."

"What did he do, Gerard?"

Gerard whimpered against his friend's shirt and shut his eyes tightly.

"He used the song. He sang the song. O-our song. The one that always gets me."

Bob tensed slightly.

"Oh god. I'm so sorry," he whispered as he stroked Gerard's hair slowly. "Did you kiss him? Please tell me you didn't kiss him."

"N-no. I didn't," Gerard breathed out. "I almost did, though. He had me up against the wall. I was just frozen. I didn't say no."

"Did he do something to you?"

"No. Some couple walked by before we kissed and I came back to my senses. And Jonathan, he... he let me go when I asked him to. He said he would if I wanted to leave, and he did. What does this mean, Bob?"

"Well, did he say something when he let you go?"

Gerard sniffled again. "Just that he w-will get me again someday. And he also said that we were meant to be."

Bob sighed quietly.

"I think he really wants that. He really wants you back, Gerard."

"H-he probably does," Gerard said, wrapping his arms around Bob's shoulders. "But I-I don't want to be with him again."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure!" Gerard said, maybe a bit too loudly than intended. But he wanted to show himself that he meant it. Because he did. He knew he did.

"I actually don't think you are," Bob whispered worriedly.

"W-why?"

"Because you still love him."

Gerard hugged Bob so tightly at this point, the bearded man almost felt the air leaving his lungs. But he ignored it.

"I-I never loved him."

"I think you did. I saw the way you used to look at him. You weren't the best couple, but he meant something to you. He meant a lot. He he thought of you as his trophy. He would always treasure you, never let you go."

"I know," Gerard whispered. "But I don't want that anymore. I'm done being taken care of. I have Frank. I need to protect Frank. Nothing will stop me from doing that, and Jonathan puts him in even greater danger."

Gerard's head suddenly snapped up from Bob's skin.

"Where IS Frank?"

"Don't worry," Bob immediately assured the older. "I told him to go buy some milk and sugar. He should be back soon."

"Did you send him on his own?"

The bearded man nodded.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," he said. Gerard pulled away from the hug and looked at him.

"I hope he will. I'm giving him thirty minutes to be back before I start looking for him."

Bob nodded, and the two headed back into the store, both slightly worried about everything that is happening to them (especially to the elder).

Notes

Thanks for reading xoxo<3

Comments

@RazorsChemicalsandPoison
Wow thank you so much!! This means a hell lot to me, and honestly it's not even one of my best stories, so hearing these comments helps me a lot! <3

MikeyLotan12 MikeyLotan12
10/25/17

ERMERGERD THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST INTRUIGING STORIES I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS SITE!

Oh man!!! Gee should let Frankie top him!! That would show that bastard ex of his!

domebedward domebedward
7/28/17

@domebedward
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it. Your comment really made my day.

MikeyLotan12 MikeyLotan12
6/25/17

That was smoking hot make love! You wrapped up fucking and making love beautifully!! Well done

domebedward domebedward
6/25/17