~Frank~
I buried my face in Gerard’s chest, hugging him tightly as he slept. I was still crying softly, despite Mikey's best efforts to comfort me. He was rubbing my back gently as I clung to Gerard, shaking. I felt the man under me shift and he groaned softly. I sat up immediately, rubbing his chest. “H-hey b-baby..”
Mikey moved to the other side of the bed, and I could hear him stroking Gerard’s hair.
My boyfriend shifted again, and I could feel his gaze on me. “Frankie...why are you crying?”
His voice was flat and emotionless, and I guessed he already knew the answer.
“W-we l-lost the baby..” I mumbled, grabbing at his hand. He jerked it away from me quickly, then shoved Mikey away from him.
“I want everyone out.”
“Geebear, I'm not leaving-”
“Get the fuck out.”
He hadn't raised his voice, but it was full of rage and despair.
“Gerard, we can't leave you, we’re your family and we should be here,” Mikey said softly.
“Everyone needs to get out. Right fucking now!”
Gerard shouted the last part and I flinched away, a fresh round of tears pouring down my cheeks as I got up and scurried away, letting the door shut behind me. I kept going, half running down the halls, hugging myself. I heard quick footsteps behind me and Mikey wrapped an arm around my waist, tugging me to a stop. “Frank, come on..”
I tried to push him away, shaking as I sobbed.
“Shh, Frankie. You need to calm down a little. And we need to stay near Gerard’s room. Come on. Walk back with me.”
I finally gave in, following Mikey to a small bench. He sat me down and hugged me tightly, rubbing my back slowly. “Everything will be okay, Frankie. Gerard just needs some time to process on his own, and maybe you guys will try again sometime. I know it hurts and I know you're sad, but one day it'll be better.”
“Y-you have n-no idea how I f-feel,” I snapped, getting up and walking down the hall. I touched each door, running my fingers over the numbers until I found Gerard’s door. I opened it carefully, slipping inside. I could hear sobbing, loud and pained and full of agony. I walked towards the sound, finding Gerard curled up on the floor, his back against the wall and his arms wrapped around his knees. I knelt down next to him, hugging him carefully. He leaned into me, his body jerking with each heavy sob. I ran my fingers through his hair over and over, struggling to breathe. Gerard was moaning quietly in between each sob, his voice broken and desolate. I pulled him closer to me, nuzzling him in what I hoped was a comforting way. I heard the door open and Mikey stepped in hesitantly. He walked over and crouched down, brushing Gerard’s hair out of his face. “Guys...the doctor says you both can go home...do you want me to drive you?”
I nodded quickly. “I think that's a good idea, Mikey. Thank you..”
He kissed my cheek. “No problem. Gee, did you hear that?”
Gerard nodded slightly and I dried his cheeks with my sleeve. “Let's get you home, baby.”
Mikey stood up. “I'll go get a wheelchair and we’ll head out.”
Mikey ran a hand over my back as Gerard made a dash for the bedroom. I stood there for a couple seconds, a pit in my stomach.
“He’ll be okay, Frankie. Your best is enough. But it might take some time, yeah? Grief is a long process.”
I nodded slightly, rubbing my eyes. “I can't feel anything.”
“Maybe that's for the best right now,” Mikey said kindly, squeezing my shoulder. “I'm gonna go, but remember that I'm only five minutes away, yeah? I'm here for you guys. And Mum...she's at work right now, but when she gets home, she's gonna come see you guys.”
I nodded, gently pushing him away. “We’ll be okay.”
Mikey sighed. “Okay.”
The door clicked shut behind him and I walked down the corridor quietly. I opened the door and walked to the bed. Gerard was curled up, holding something against his chest. Pansy was laying on the bed next to him, and whined when I walked in. I stroked Gerard's side slowly. “What's that, baby?”
“The pictures,” he murmured in a hollow voice. “From the ultrasound.”
I nearly started crying again, but stopped myself. “Let's get you out of this shitty gown..” I said softly, trying to sound cheerful as I started to untie the strings. “How about I run you a nice bath and we have a cuddle?”
“How the fuck are you okay with this? We lost our baby today,” Gerard snapped, slapping my hands away. I sighed quietly, continuing what I had been doing.
“I'm not, Gee. I'm falling apart, but I'm trying to be strong for you. You need me right now, baby. I'm just trying to be a good boyfriend.”
He hesitated. “You're a great boyfriend,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “I'm sorry I'm a shitty one.”
“No, no, no,” I soothed, carefully pulling the gown away from his body. “You're a great boyfriend too, I know how much I'm hurting, and I know you feel worse. I understand, sweetie. I'm not taking any of this personally. I know I need to be patient.”
“You're a fucking saint, Frankie.”
I smiled and leaned down, kissing his cheek. “No, I just love you a lot.”
Gerard shifted, and I dried the tears off his cheeks as they came. “I said I wanted you to marry me someday. I want that day to be soon, Frankie. I wanted to propose to you romantically and for it to be cute...but I need to ask you now. Will you-”
“Yes,” I said calmly, standing back slightly and slipping my shirt off. “Yes, of course. I love you.”
I kicked my jeans away and gently helped Gerard to his feet as he started to cry again. I walked him to the bathroom, sitting him down on the closed toilet as I leaned over and turned the tap on. “I love you more than anything, Gerard. I know it doesn't feel possible right now...but we’ll get through this. We’re stronger together.”
I took his hand, wrapping my pinky around his. “Promise we’ll do this together?”
“Promise,” Gerard rasped, trembling ever so slightly.
I smiled and kissed his cheek lovingly, lingering for a couple seconds. “Why don't you get in? I'm gonna go fetch something.”
He got up and I walked into the kitchen, opening the freezer and tugging out the ice cream. It was Gerard’s go-to comfort item, and although I knew ice cream wouldn't fix the hole inside his heart, it would certainly make him feel a little better. I grabbed two spoons from the drawer and walked back to the bathroom. Gerard had turned the tap off.
“Come get in..” He mumbled. I smiled sadly and handed him the tub and the spoons. “Here.”
I got in carefully, sitting in my usual place between his legs. He ripped the top off the ice cream and gave me one of the spoons back, holding the tub where I could get to it easily. I leaned back against his chest, stroking the outside of one of his thighs. “We’re gonna be okay.”
Gerard and I were curled up on the couch in our pajamas when Donna walked in. She had a spare key in case of emergencies. Pansy barked a couple times, but soon ran back to us, curling up in her bed. Gerard didn't move from his spot. I was sat next to the arm, Gerard's back against my chest and his head resting in the crook of my neck, a blanket over him. I stroked his hair slowly, working out a couple tangles gently as Donna walked into the living room, setting one of the kitchen chairs down in front of the couch.
“Hey Gee.”
She sat down and Gerard grunted sleepily.
I sighed and gave her a small, sad smile.
“Gee, honey. I know how you feel,” Donna said quietly, earning a scornful snort from Gerard, which she ignored expertly. “I miscarried as well. After I had you, your father and I...we had another child on the way. I miscarried at fifteen weeks. That's why we split up, because we couldn't get through the grief. And that's why you and Mikey have a fairly large age gap. I didn't want to try again…not for a long time.”
She sighed and Gerard curled up tighter, clinging to my arm.
“What I'm trying to say, Gee, is that I understand your pain. I've been through it. And I'm here if you need me.”
Gerard looked up at me and I understood immediately, getting up carefully. “I'll be in the other room,” I said gently, leaning down and kissing Gerard briefly. I wandered into the bedroom and laid down on the bed, Pansy jumping up and curling up against my side. I stroked her slowly, staring into the black void.
I had finally managed to feel excited about our child. I'd finally managed to feel ready to have a child. I had wanted that kid. I'd imagined Gerard and I as fathers, taking our daughter to the beach and making dinner for her. And now all that was gone. I knew Gerard wouldn't try again. I'm not sure how I knew, but I knew he wouldn't want to be pregnant again. That future of us that I’d imagined over and over was gone, along with the new life we'd made together, the baby that had come from our love and our intense passion for one another.
Pansy licked my cheek and I sighed, rolling onto my side to hug her. I buried my face in her warm fur and started to cry, trembling all over.

After a couple minutes, the door swung open and I sat up quickly, drying my eyes.
Donna walked over to me, sitting on the edge of the bed quietly. “I'm so proud of you, Frank. I was so worried...you're only eighteen and you're handling this so well. You're there for my son and you're helping him more than you know. But I know you need space to feel sad. Mikey will always be there for you, Frank. And I'll be here for Gerard. You two aren't alone in this, and you'll get through it together, just like Gerard says. He's devastated, but he’ll be back fairly soon. Just be patient.”
I nodded slightly, stroking Pansy’s back slowly. “I don't want him hurt.”
“I know, Frank. And it's scary to see someone so upset.”
I looked down, sighing quietly. “I just want to lay with him and do nothing for weeks.”
“That's okay. Don't rush getting back to your routine. But whatever you do, try to do it with him. He needs support and so do you.”
Gerard was whimpering in his sleep, his hands trembling. I cuddled up to him, kissing his cheeks. He usually calmed down if I touched him when he was having a nightmare, but this time, he didn't. I sighed and very gently shook him awake, kissing him softly.
“F-Frankie?”
I smiled sadly and stroked his cheek, gently drawing him closer to me. “I'm here. Shh. I'm here.”
He buried his face in my neck and I ran my fingers through his hair slowly. “Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked softly, letting him cling to me as his arm slid around my waist. He shook his head slightly and I sighed, kissing his cheek. “Okay. Do you wanna get up and get a drink or anything? Watch some tv? Get your mind off it?”
He shook his head again. “I just want to lay here with you. I have to work tomorrow.”
I frowned and pulled him closer to me. “Why? Can't they give you some time off?”
Gerard sighed and shook his head again. “No, they're already short staffed tomorrow and they need me. Starting the day after, I get two days off.”
“I guess that’s something,” I mumbled, hugging him tighter. “I’m sorry, Geebear.” He nuzzled my neck gently, kissing my skin softly. “Don’t be. It’ll take my mind off things at the very least.”

---

Gerard got home around four that afternoon, walking into the bedroom where I was working at my desk, and simply collapsing on the bed. “You okay, baby?” I asked without looking up from what I was doing.
“M’fine,” he mumbled, and I heard him rolling over as Pansy jumped up next to him.
“Lemme just finish this sentence, then we can chat.”
I finished typing and got up, tidying my books away carefully before climbing onto the bed with Gerard, rubbing his shoulder gently. He grabbed me, pulling me closer to him. I smiled and pressed my chest to his, my body at an angle so I could rest my legs on the bed.
“How was your day, Geebear?” I booped his nose with my finger and he batted my hand away grumpily.
“Exhausting. And of course some lady had to give birth in the fucking ER today. Luckily I didn’t have to deal with it..”
I frowned and stroked his hair away from his face slowly. “I’m so sorry, baby. Are you okay?” He shrugged and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly. “I’m better now I’m home. I saw Mum on my lunch break, too, and I think I know what I wanna do now.”
I rested my hands on his cheeks, my thumbs against his cheekbones. “What do you mean, Gee?”
“I mean I wanna get bottom surgery..”
I frowned again, but brushed my thumbs over Gerard’s cheeks lovingly. “Are you sure? I mean...what if we want to try again sometime?”
He sighed softly, rubbing my back slowly. “I’m going to get some eggs stored, baby. Just in case. But I don’t think I can...I can’t go through that again.”
I nodded and smiled at him in what I hoped was an encouraging way. “Okay. Sounds like a plan, Geebear. I’m not really sure how all that works, but it sounds like you have it figured out. But I think maybe we should just wait a while, yeah? Maybe don’t book any surgeries and that...I think we should try and get through all of this..” I waved a hand vaguely. “First, y’know? We need to be happy and settled and ready for some more change.”
Gerard nodded slightly, stroking my hair slowly. “I think you’re right. I have an appointment to get those eggs stored next week, but I’m not gonna make any more appointments for a while.”
I smiled and kissed his jaw. “I’ll be here and ready to support you when you’re ready, okay?”
He grinned and brushed his fingers over my cheek, but I could feel them trembling. “I know, little one.”
“You’re crying again,” I mumbled, brushing the tears off his cheeks. “Why are you crying?”
Gerard sighed and hugged me again. “I’m crying because you’re amazing and sweet and kind and more than I deserve. I’ve had such a long day, baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come home and cry at you.”
I chuckled and sat up slightly. “It’s alright, Geebear. Really. I did all my crying while you were out so I’d be alright when you got home. Let’s go order some dinner or something, I’m really hungry. And then maybe we can watch a movie. Does that sound good?” Gerard frowned and ran his hand through my still too short hair. “You know you don’t have to be okay for me, right? We’re getting through this together, and you don’t have to be strong.”
I nodded slightly. “But if I’m sad, then you’ll feel like you have to be strong because you always do and then everything falls apart. It’s not good.” He sighed and sat up, gently rolling me off him. “I know. I just feel bad.”
I sat up next to him, kissing his cheek quickly. “Don’t feel bad, we’re dealing with this together but also in our own ways.” I got up and kissed him softly. “Come on, I’m really hungry..”
Gerard groaned and gently pulled me back towards him. “I nearly forgot. I got you something today, sit down.” I frowned, but did as I was told. Gerard got up, rummaging around in his bag before standing in front of me. “Here.” I held my hand out and he placed a small box on my palm. “Open it.”
I blinked, but opened the box carefully, feeling around inside. The cold metal brushed my fingertips and I bit my lip. “I ordered it a while ago, and it came in today...you said yes, so..”
I grinned, taking the ring out of the box and slipping it onto my finger carefully. “Thank you, Geebear. I’m sure it’s beautiful..”
He chuckled and stroked my hair slowly. “Touch it, Frankie.”
I ran my finger over the surface of the ring, feeling four raised dots. Gerard shifted, suddenly seeming nervous. “It’s Braille, for G, with diamonds,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Was it a stupid idea?”
I sniffed and rubbed my own eyes quickly, shaking my head. “N-no...I love it..” I mumbled, lifting my head slightly. “It’s perfect..”
He hugged me tightly, lifting me up and holding me against his chest. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply and happily. He carried me to the living room, gently setting me down on the couch and sitting next to me. Gerard kissed my cheek softly, pulling me close to him. “I have a matching one, but it’s got F on it..”
I giggled and hugged him tightly, nuzzling his shoulder. “That’s perfect, Gee, thank you,” I murmured, leaning up and kissing his cheek softly. “I love you, so much.”
“I love you too, beautiful.”

Notes

So kind of a bittersweet chapter I guess..
Sorry for all the mix-ups with the chapter names, the site is being a shit and won't let me edit the chapters after I put the up so I'm having to delete them and put them up again and ugh..
Please let me know if you might be interested in another story from me, because if not, I may just put it up on the one site and not put it on here. I can give you a short synopsis if you're not sure, but please let me know.
Thanks!
Logan