Mikey drove me to work, holding my hand. “Frankie?”
I looked up from my phone. “Yeah?”
“We haven't um...well, we never made anything official.”
“Oh.”
“Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”
“Yeah,” I smiled, squeezing his hand. “Fucking duh.”
He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “I just wanted it to be official.”
“I know, I'm just winding you up. We’re almost late.”
“And whose fault is that?”
I slapped his arm lightly. “Shut up and drive.”
“I would if you'd stop hitting me.”
I groaned. “I hate you.”
“Whatever.”
Mikey parked and got out of the car, waiting for me. I walked around and past him, ignoring his outstretched hand. He jogged to catch up with me, obviously hurt.
“I don't want everyone to know yet,” I said quietly. “You know how much they gossip, and I can't...I don't want to deal with that right now.”
Mikey sighed, but nodded. “Okay. But I'm coming out on your cigarette breaks to kiss you.”
I grinned and punched his shoulder gently. “I'd like that.”
“So don't hit me.”
I chuckled and glanced around before leaning up and kissing his cheek. “Go get ready.”

---

Mikey was already on stage by the time I got the bar cleaned. They were only rehearsing, but I couldn't help but stop to look. Mikey looked happy, laughing and joking with the other guys as they went through the dance. He'd always been the most graceful of the bunch, and even without knowing a thing about dancing, it was easy to see that he was much more technical. The other guys just humped the air and ran around, but Mikey danced.
I tore myself away and went back to cleaning glasses, looking up as Mikey shuffled behind the bar. “I'm thirsty.”
“Go get some water.”
He rolled his eyes and grabbed one of the glasses I’d just cleaned, filling it from the tap and taking a long drink.
“Did it look okay? I saw you watching.”
I felt the blush start to rise and sighed. “Yeah, Mikes. You looked great.”
He leaned against me slightly. “I think I'm going back on the pole tonight, Jackson twisted his ankle and demanded like a week off. Angelo is pissed.”
“He's always pissed about something. And you're the best on the pole anyway, so God knows what he's upset about.”
Mikey looked at me in surprise. “Are you just saying that?”
“No, seriously. I've always thought that you look the best. You really look like you know what you're doing.”
Mikey grinned. “That's why I practice.”
“You're such a geek,” I chuckled, taking the glass out of his hand. “Now go away, we open in ten.”

---

I got distracted constantly that night. Watching my boyfriend perform for a crowd was extremely different to watching a close friend. I kept switching between proud of him for looking so immaculate, happy because he was enjoying himself, and jealous that everyone in the crowd got to see him practically naked. As soon as he'd finish anything, he'd run straight to me, ordering something or simply standing there, watching me.
My first cigarette break came at about midnight. I caught Mikey's eye and headed outside. I was lighting up when he finally hurried over to me. “Hey, sorry, I got caught up in something.”
He was wearing his huge coat, but I knew there wasn't much on underneath.
“It's okay, Mikes,” I murmured, smiling as he leaned down, kissing my cheek. “I'm just really tired already.”
Mikey nodded and brushed his fingers through my hair. “You look exhausted, hon. Is everything okay?”
I shrugged and leaned back against the wall, taking a long drag from my cigarette. “It's hard watching you sometimes.”
He smiled sadly and leaned back next to me.
“I wanna be the cool and chill boyfriend, but I'm a super jealous person.”
Mikey chuckled and rubbed my side lightly. “I am too, it's okay. You know I can't do anything about it..”
I nodded and flicked the end of my cigarette. “I know, and I'm not asking you to. I'm just trying to tell you how I feel.”
He sighed and kissed my cheek again. “Frankie, you're getting defensive over nothing, sweetie. I know I asked you, and I really appreciate your honest answer. That was great.”
I shot him a sideways look and he took my cigarette, putting it out.
“Just kiss me, Frankie.”
I grinned and stood up on my toes to kiss him, my fingers slipping into his hair. “Fuck, this is great,” I muttered against his lips before kissing him again. He pulled me closer, laughing to himself as I broke the kiss and he wrapped me in his huge coat.
“You're all sweaty,” I complained, but smiled up at him, one hand on his chest as he leaned down and kissed me briefly.
“Comes with the job, I'm afraid.”
I rolled my eyes and traced a circle over his stomach. “You are gross.”
“Mhm.”
Mikey kissed me again and I heard footsteps. I tried to break away, but wasn't quick enough. Ryan grinned as he walked over, his hands in his pockets. He looked like a dog that had just seen the biggest, juiciest bone of his life.
“Well then.”
Mikey smiled at him pleasantly, which was hard enough in itself. “Hi Ryan. Frank was cold.”
“It's not that cold,” Ryan mused, shifting from foot to foot. “And I'm pretty sure I saw you guys kissing. Did you fuck?”
“No, we didn't fuck,” I said quickly, struggling to keep my voice even. “We went out on a couple dates, that's all.”
Ryan grinned. “Got it.”
He ran off before we could say anything else and I groaned softly. “Fuck.”
Mikey ran his fingers through my hair slowly. “It's okay, Frankie. We’ll deal with this together.”
I smiled and kissed him softly. “I guess there's no point hiding anymore, at least.”
He nodded and lifted me up. I squeaked and giggled, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. “There we go. You're taller now,” Mikey grinned, one hand under one of my legs and the other in my hair as he kissed me again, a little deeper and more passionate this time. I pulled away first, nuzzling his jaw. “We need to get back to work.”
Mikey sighed and set me on my feet carefully. “Come on..” He offered me his hand again and I took it, letting him lead me inside. He kissed my cheek one last time before heading towards the stage, and I hurried back to the bar.

---

By the end of the evening, I was exhausted, leaning against the bar sleepily. Mikey walked over and I stood up, turning away to grab the ingredients for his favorite drink. “No, sweetie, it's okay,” he said quickly. “You look exhausted, let's just go.”
I glanced at him over my shoulder. “You sure?”
“Yeah, please? I really need a bath.”
“Okay,” I went back to cleaning, watching Mikey as he walked off to get changed. I stared at his ass as he left, grinning to myself. That perfect ass was all mine.
Ryan slapped me on the shoulder. “He's a slut, but he's a hot one, I'll give you that.”
I sighed and finished up cleaning, tossing the wet towel at Ryan. “Fuck off and leave me alone, Ryan. I'm not in the mood.”
“What are you in the mood for?” Ryan grinned, thrusting his hips and wriggling his eyebrows.
“Go fuck yourself,” I spat, hurrying off.
I found Mikey in his dressing room, half naked. “Mikey, I wanna go home. Now.”
He glanced at me worriedly, quickly tugging his shirt on. “Okay, baby. Let me just..”
I shifted from foot to foot shakily as he repacked his bag, slamming his locker once he'd finished.
“Come on, let's go,” he murmured, grabbing my hand and leading me back out to his car. “What's wrong?” Mikey asked gently as he opened my door and helped me into the car. I shivered and shrugged.
“Okay.”
Mikey got into the car and started it, backing out of the parking lot. He offered me his hand and I took it immediately. “What's got you so worked up?” He asked again, glancing at me. I squeezed his hand lightly.
“Ryan was calling you a slut and then suggesting that I'm gonna fuck you.”
Mikey took a deep breath. “Okay. Well, I'm not a slut, you know that. And so what? If we do or we don't that's none of his business anyway.”
“I know, but it upset me a little,” I mumbled, heat rising in my cheeks. Mikey pulled the car over and rubbed my arm, turning to me. “Why’s that?” He murmured, stroking my cheek slowly. I looked away, shivering again. “Because I want to, but I'm scared.”
“You want to have sex with me?”
I nodded shakily, and Mikey leaned over, kissing my forehead. “We don't have to rush anything, sweetie, but we can also try if you want to. Sex and anything sexual in this relationship is up to you, okay?”
I grabbed at him gently, desperate to be close to him. “I'm scared..”
Mikey smiled sadly and squeezed my hand. “I understand, baby. Let's get home, okay? We can talk about it more there.”

---

I curled up next to Mikey, as close as I could get. “Are you feeling any better?”
I shrugged and Mikey kissed the side of my head. “Talk to me.”
“Well..” I sniffed, rubbing my eyes. “I'm not really much of a top,” I mumbled, feeling the blush intensify. “And um...I haven't had sex since I broke up with my husband, so it's um...a little scary.”
Mikey pulled me a little closer, rubbing my back. “I understand, Frankie. We can have a go if you like, or we can just cuddle for now. It's all up to you.”
I looked up at him sadly and he smiled, kissing my forehead.
“Okay, just cuddling. Ignore Ryan, yeah? He's a dick.”
I sighed and snuggled closer to Mikey, kissing his neck as he turned the tv on. “You wanna watch a movie?”
I nodded and grabbed at his hand, smiling as he laced our finger together. “I…”
Mikey looked down at me. “Yeah?”
“I think I love you.”
He blinked. “We've been dating for like two days, baby.”
I shrugged. “But I loved you as a friend before, so...I dunno. It’s not really a big leap for me.”
Mikey chuckled and ran his fingers through my hair slowly. “Okay, baby. But I don't think I'm there yet, I'm sorry.”
“Don't be sorry, it's fine. I don't expect you to be.”
He pulled a blanket around my shoulders and started fumbling with the buttons on my shirt. “Where do you keep your pajamas?”
I giggled and helped him with my shirt shyly. “Um, top drawer of my dresser.”
He nodded and hurried off, coming back a few minutes later and handing them to me. “Here, I'm gonna go change into mine.”

I grinned up at Mikey as he sat down next to me. “It's the middle of the day.”
“And we both just had all-night shifts,” he pointed out gently. “I think it's time for some sleep, really.”
I leaned against his side sleepily. “No...I have stuff to do.”
“And you're not doing it anyway. Come on.”
Mikey tugged me up carefully, leading me to bed slowly. He wasn't wearing a shirt, so I trailed behind him a little, studying the way the muscles on his back moved. He climbed into my narrow bed, pulling me down next to him. I laid a little way away from him, smiling slightly.
“You okay?” Mikey asked, brushing his fingertips over my hand.
I nodded. “Yeah, I'm okay. I just..”
I got up quickly, hurrying over to my chest of drawers and rummaging around until I finally pulled my camera out. I went back to the bed and Mikey groaned, covering his face with an arm lazily.
“Mikey, please?” I whined, shifting from foot to foot.
“No.”
I snapped a picture anyway, sighing.
“Mikey...come on..”
He rolled over to face away from me and I grinned, taking a photo of his back. “You're stunning, Mikey. What's wrong?”
“I just don't like having my picture taken,” he mumbled, and something in his voice made me set the camera aside. I knelt down on the bed behind him, stroking his arm with my knuckles.
“Mikey? I'm sorry..”
“Shit,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Don't be sorry, Frankie. It's my fault.”
I frowned and laid down behind him, tracing along the lines on his back with one finger. “It's not your fault, Mikey.”
“I just hate the way I look in pictures, I-”
“I'm not gonna show them to anyone,” I murmured softly, kissing between his shoulderblades. “They're just for me.”
“I know, Frankie...but...I'm such a jerk, I'm sorry.”
“You're not a jerk,” I sighed, throwing an arm over his waist. “And I'm not upset, I'm just trying to figure out what's hurting you.”
Mikey heaved a big sigh, shifting slightly. “I can't really talk about it, Frankie. Not right now. Can we please just sleep?”
I rubbed his spine slowly. “Of course. Can I have a cuddle?”
“Always.”
He rolled over and I kissed his forehead before curling up comfortably, my face buried in his chest and his arm around me.

---

Mikey was gone when I woke up, a note left on the pillow. I picked it up and squinted at it.
Had to go to work. It's your night off tonight, enjoy it baby xx Mikey
I smiled to myself and sat up, yawning, then picked up my phone. “Fuck.”
18 missed calls from Gerard.
I dialed him back, running a hand through my hair.
“Frankie?”
“Hey, Gee. You okay?”
He coughed and I could hear people talking in the background. “Yeah. I wanted to know what that cryptic text you sent me was about. Honestly kinda worried me.”
“What cryptic text?” I asked, genuinely confused. “I haven't sent you anything since yesterday.”
“Well I have a text from your phone saying that you're ‘tied up with someone’ and you need ‘backup.’ The fuck, Frank?”
I giggled. “Sorry, I think I sent that while I was half asleep.”
“At one in the afternoon?”
“You know I have late nights, and I was in bed with someone, just so you know.”
“God, who?” I could practically hear Gerard grinning.
“He was a friend from work and now he's...my boyfriend from work, I guess.”
“That's awesome, Frank!” Gerard chuckled, and I heard a door slam in the background. “When do I get to meet him?”
“I dunno, I can have a chat with him and see if he has any ideas of when. Our shift patterns are all fucked up, but I'm actually off today.”
“Aw sweet, well I'm outta here in half an hour so if you wanna meet up for some all-day breakfast…”
“Sounds fucking great, actually.”

---

Gerard smiled at me as I sat down. “Hey Frankie.”
I set my camera down on the table and he chuckled. “What's that for?”
I shrugged. “I got a couple pictures of him last night, but he hates having his picture taken so they're not very good.”
Gerard picked up the camera, looking through the pictures. “Aw. These are cute, though. They don't need his face, really.”
I blushed and shrugged, always shy about my photography. “They're okay. Bad lighting.”
Gerard handed the camera back to me and I tucked it away in my bag. “Who is he? Tell me more.” He rested his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands, staring at me intently.
“He's uh...his name is Michael,” I giggled, running a hand through my hair as my cheeks got hotter. “He's a stripper, but he's the best one at the club.”
Gerard rolled his eyes. “Biased.”
“No, seriously, I think he must have been ballet trained or some shit, he's a good dancer.”
“Maybe you should know that.”
I flipped him off and sighed. “We've been dating for less than a week, Gerard, chill out.”
He chuckled. “I'm just trying to annoy you, go on.”
I leaned back and bite my lip. “He's so sweet to me, Gee. He says all this stuff about how we don't have to have sex yet and he’ll take care of me if we do. He knows about...before. Not everything, but I showed him some pictures.”
Gerard nodded, smiling as I went on.
“I got upset today because as my shift ended, Ryan made a stupid comment about me and Mikes fucking, and he said we could try if I wanted to, but I just kinda looked at him and he said it was okay to cuddle too. And so we did.”
Gerard leaned back, grinning. “He sounds great, Frankie. You're a terrible storyteller, but he sounds sweet and kind. I wanna meet him.”
“I know, I know. I think he's picking me up after his shift and we’re gonna spend some time at his place.”
“Cool. Our food’s coming, by the way.”
I nodded and leaned back as the waitress put our plates on the table. We both thanked her quietly and I picked up my fork quickly.
“How's everything else with you?” Gerard asked, shoving a huge bite of hash browns into his mouth.
“Good, yeah. It's mostly just been about me and him lately, and Angelo is being a huge dick again, but that's about it. How about you?”
Gerard shrugged. “The same, really. Tired all the time. I slept through my alarm this morning and was late for all my clients. It was horrible.”
I looked at him and he sighed. “I still don't want medication, Frank. I've tried it before and it didn't help.”
I held my hands up. “Okay, I won't say any more.”
Gerard relaxed and smiled at me slightly. “Good.”

---

Mikey did pick me up after his shift, and we went to his place for another day’s sleep. I woke up around four and gently shook Mikey awake. “Mikey? It's four..”
He sighed and batted my hands away. “Wake me up in an hour.”
“Mikey, please, I gotta talk to you about some stuff,” I pleaded, tugging at his arm.
He rolled over to face me, stroking my cheek. “Is everything okay?”
I nodded slightly. “Gerard wants to meet you.”
“Okay. I've got time tomorrow. I gotta go to an appointment at nine am and sleep either side of it, but I should be around early afternoon. Can he come over here?”
I smiled and put a hand on Mikey's chest lightly. “Yeah, and I can come over tomorrow too, I can sleep through your appointment.”
“Okay, sweetie,” Mikey murmured, picking my hand up and kissing my fingers. “Sounds perfect.”

Notes