I kissed Mikey's cheek softly, my hand running down his chest. “You're gonna be home soon, Mikes. Are you excited?”
He grinned, gently tapping my nose. “Of course I am. I'll just be so glad to sleep in the same bed as you again. I've missed that, waking up in the middle of the night and pulling you close.”
I blushed and nuzzled his cheek, running my fingers up the back of his neck into his hair. “God, I miss you.”
“I'm right here,” he chuckled, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
I nodded and bit my lip lightly. “I know, but I miss being with you the way we used to be.”
Mikey smiled and stroked my cheek slowly, putting his thumb over my bottom lip. “I get it. But why are you biting so much? It looks all sore, baby.”
I shrugged and looked away slightly. “I've been stressed at work and stuff..”
“What's the stuff? Come on, you can tell me.”
I sighed, grabbing one of his hands and lacing our fingers. “Paul gets out in two weeks. It's confirmed and official and everything.”
Mikey frowned, hugging me a little tighter. “I'll be home by then. I won't let him near you.”
I smiled softly, relaxing slightly. “M’kay. I trust you.”
“Good.”
I heard the knock on the door and sighed. “Mikey, baby, I gotta go..”
He nodded, kissing my cheek. “I know. I'll see you tomorrow, right?”
I winced and shook my head. “I have a job interview tomorrow, but I'll be here Wednesday to pick you up. Seven on the dot.”
Mikey smiled and let go of me, sitting up as I slipped off the bed. “I'll see you then. I love you, Frankie. And good luck with the interview.”
“I love you too, and thank you,” I murmured, kissing him quickly before walking to the door. I blew him a kiss and waved as I left the room, hating myself for leaving him there alone.

---

Mikey walked to the car slowly, clearly savoring the moment. I rolled my window down, grinning at him. “Hi.”
“Hey. It's fucking cold out here.”
I giggled, leaning into his touch as he kissed me. “Come get in, weirdo.”
He walked around to the passenger side, tossing his bags into the backseat before getting in and kissing my cheek.
“Where are we going?”
I blinked, suddenly unsure of myself. I looked at him worriedly. “I thought just home? We can order in and watch a shitty movie in bed...I dunno..is that stupid?”
Mikey pulled me into a brief hug, squeezing me tightly. “No. Of course it's not stupid, baby. It's exactly what I wanted.”
I relaxed, gently pulling away from him. “I'm so glad. I just want to cuddle you for a month.”
He chuckled and shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”
I started the car, slapping Mikey’s knee gently. “Seatbelt.”
He snorted and rolled his eyes, but buckled his seatbelt anyway, taking my hand as soon as I pulled onto the main road. “How far is it to home?”
“An hour,” I mumbled. Mikey stared at me, shocked.
“You drove two hours a day every fucking day for over a month?”
I nodded calmly, stopping at a red light. “Yeah. I did. Y’know why? Because I fucking love you. So what’s the problem?”
Mikey sighed, squeezing my hand lightly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t know that you were taking three hours out of your day to come see me.” I shrugged, flashing him a quick smile. “It’s okay. I don’t need that much sleep and I work during the night, it wasn’t a big deal.”
“That’s a lie, I’ve seen you sleep for sixteen hours.”
I giggled and changed lanes, heading onto the freeway. “When I can, but I don’t have to. I can function perfectly on six hours.”
“If you say so,” Mikey grinned. “So what was that interview about? You didn’t tell me you were looking for a new job.” I sighed and glanced at him. “I should have told you, I know. Angelo doesn’t want you back, Mikes. He says you’ve spent too much time away and he doesn’t want to employ someone with a drug habit.”
“But-”
“I know, Mikey,” I cut in quickly. “I tried to tell him you were in recovery and all that. I really tried, but he wouldn’t listen, you know how he is. So while you find a new job, we might need a little more money coming in, especially since I’ve used all my savings, and me finding a better job with more human hours didn’t seem like such a bad idea.”
“Frank…” Mikey sighed, running a hand through my hair. “How many interviews have you had?”
I bit my lip lightly, not looking at him. “Six so far.”
“What for?”
I shrugged, glancing around as I changed lanes. “Waiter, bartender, a couple of tattoo places..”
“So why did none of them bite?”
I shrugged again, clenching my jaw. “I don't know. Probably because I only have a high school diploma and I had shit grades anyway.”
Mikey squeezed my hand, watching me worriedly. “But you're really smart, baby, why did you have so much trouble at school?”
I ground the heel of my hand against the steering wheel, getting increasingly uncomfortable with each question. “I had a lot of other shit going on. Like taking care of Gerard. I met Paul in my senior year. Family shit.”
“What kind of family shit?” Mikey's voice was soft and a little hesitant. He knew he was asking questions I didn't want to answer.
“Just...stuff, okay? I don't want to talk about it.”
“But-”
“No!” I snapped, letting go of his hand to grab the steering wheel as I changed lanes again. “Stop asking me this shit!”
Mikey looked away, folding his hands in his lap as a thick silence fell.
After a few minutes, I couldn't take it anymore.
“Mikey, I-”
“Frank, you know everything about me and sometimes I feel like I know nothing about you.”
I swallowed the annoyance and forced my voice to stay level. “You kept your heroin problem from me.”
“It wasn't supposed to be a problem,” Mikey sighed. “And I'm sorry about that. I regret that, and I've promised myself that I won't keep anything from you again.”
I pulled the car over quickly, looking away from Mikey. “Look...the only person who's ever known everything about me is Gerard, and that's only because he was there for most of it. I hate telling people things about me because I'm a fucked up, pathetic person and I don't want you to pity me or walk away. Okay?”
Mikey leaned over, stroking my hair slowly. “I kinda guessed, sweetie, and I'm never going to leave you over something that happened in the past. Let's get home, yeah? I'm not gonna force you to tell me anything, and I just want a nice night with my boyfriend.”
I sniffed, holding my hand over my eyes. “Fuck, I've ruined everything,” I whimpered, holding back tears. “I'm sorry..”
He sighed, pulling me into a hug. “Don't be silly, Frankie. Nothing's ruined, we’re fine, but I'm kinda hungry. How about we stop for lunch somewhere, huh? Come on, there's nothing to be upset about.”

---

I didn't look at Mikey as we walked into the apartment. He'd tried to talk to me at lunch, about Gerard and about what I'd been doing while he was away, but I wasn't in the mood.
He walked up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist and nuzzling the side of my head. “Frankie…”
I tried to wriggle away, but he held me a little tighter. “Shh. I know you don't want to talk to me, yeah? But I've missed you so so much...can I please have my Frankie back just for a while? Then you can sulk as much as you like..”
“I'm not sulking,” I whined, trying to pull his arm off me.
Mikey drew me closer to him, kissing my neck softly. “Then what's wrong? Please tell me, I just want to make it better,” he begged, resting his forehead against the side of my head.
I blinked and felt the hot tears fall. “Fuck, Mikey...I just...I can't..”
He ducked down and scooped me up bridal style, carrying me to the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and quickly undressed me, then helped me into a clean pair of pajama trousers and a t shirt. He changed as well and laid down next to me, finding my hand and lacing our fingers. “I love you, Frankie. You can tell me anything. I won't pity you or leave you. I have too much respect for you to pity you, and I'd only leave you if...I dunno. If you murdered someone, maybe.”
I managed a tiny laugh, smiling at Mikey weakly as he brushed the tears off my cheeks. “I didn't do that, I promise.”
“That's a start, then,” he chuckled, pulling me into a tight, protective hug. “I'm here for you, Frankie.”
I felt sick, the tears falling more freely now as I buried my face in my boyfriend’s neck. I had to tell him, I had to be honest and open with the only man I could be, but I couldn't get the words out. I couldn't look him in the eye and tell him. Instead, I pulled away and rolled over to face away from him. He wrapped an arm around my waist, gently moving me closer to him so my back was against his chest. “I've always got you, Frankie..”
I lifted my left arm. “Look.”
Mikey held my wrist carefully, leaning over me slightly as he studied my arm. “I don't know what I'm looking for, baby, all I see is tattoos.”
“There's scars too,” I whispered, staring at the sheets.
Mikey rubbed his thumb over one of them, sighing. “Jeez. I didn't see them before, sweetie. They're really faint.”
“They're twenty years old, some of them,” I mumbled. “Before I started getting tattoos, I cut tallies into my skin.”
Mikey's grip on my waist tightened. “They're from when you were eight?”
I didn't answer, shaking a little as I went on. “My father walked out on us when I was seven. He said my mother was crazy. He said he was going to turn her into the police and come back for me. He never did.”
My voice was hollow and flat. I didn't want to feel it, not anymore.
“She was the first one I cut a tally into my skin for. And then her friends. And her boyfriend. Gerard found out and tried to call CPS. They did nothing. He was the only person I had.”
Mikey rolled me over to face him and pulled me into an impossibly tight hug, rubbing my back as I sobbed into his shoulder.

---

I leaned against Gerard’s chest as he held me, running his knuckles down my cheek over and over. Mikey was pacing in the next room, I could hear the floorboards creaking.
“That was so brave,” Gerard whispered, smiling down at me. “I'm so proud of you.”
“It hurts.”
“I know, I know. Mikey will be okay, he's just upset, and that's why he called me. He's not good at handling this stuff.”
I nodded slightly, hugging Gerard’s arm. He hummed briefly and started to sing to me softly, still stroking his knuckles down my cheek as he rocked me slowly. I felt my grip on his arm start to loosen and I let my eyes close as I relaxed against Gerard's welcoming chest.

---

“I just want to kill everyone who's ever touched him!” Mikey was yelling, but his voice was shaking. I sat up and heard Gerard shush his younger brother.
“I think Frank’s waking up, I heard the bed creak. You need to calm down, Mikey, or I'm going to take Frank back to my apartment for the night.” Gerard's voice was gentle and quiet, and I could imagine him trying to calm the irate Mikey.
“For fuck’s sake! You're always trying to get more time with him, aren't you? Pushing me out of the way, encouraging him to send me to that place! If I didn't know better, I'd think you were in love with him! Jesus Christ, Gerard, do you ever listen to yourself?”
Gerard was quiet for a few seconds.
“He's been my only family for years, Mikey. I'd trust him with my life, and he deserves to be treated as well as he can be. That means he doesn't deserve to hear us arguing over how best to handle this. He's told you something monumental and something incredibly painful to him. How do you think it looks when you react like this?”
Silence fell again and a tapping on the bedroom door made me jump. “Frank? It's Gerard, I think you ought to come get something to eat and drink.”
“I don't want to,” I called out, surprised when my voice cracked. I touched my cheeks and stared at my wet fingers for a long moment.
“I'll go buy you pie.”
I sniffed, hugging myself tightly. “I don't want it.”
Gerard sighed and tried again. “Donuts? Curry? Frank, you have to eat something, please? For me?”
“No.”
Footsteps sounded, walking away from the door. The front door opened and shut, and everything was quiet again.
It wasn't long before Gerard was back, maybe ten minutes. He knocked, but walked straight in and over to the bed, setting down a box and a paper bag. “You're gonna start getting faint soon, Frank. I know you.”
I sniffed, watching as he pulled various treats out of the bag and the box, flashing me a brief smile. “Any of it look nice?”
I shrugged, looking away, but not before eyeing the key lime pie. Gerard put everything else away, then scooped the slice onto a plate, which he set in my lap immediately. “You want a fork?”
I nodded just slightly and he handed me one, rubbing between my shoulderblades soothingly.
“Mikey went out for some air, he’ll be back soon.”
I tried to take a bite, but nearly dropped the fork.
“He hates me,” I moaned softly. Gerard shook his head, looking down.
“That's not true. He hates everyone who's ever laid a finger on you. He wants to hurt them. He hates himself for not being there to help you, which is ridiculous, since he would have been three years old. He just doesn't know how to handle the fact that someone's hurt his baby.”
I managed the tiny bite, leaning my head on Gerard's shoulder. “I just wanted to cuddle and watch a movie, I didn't want this.”
“I know, Frank, I'm sorry. He shouldn't have pushed you and I've already told him that. None of this is your fault.”
I shivered, taking another bite of the pie.

---

Mikey stood in the doorway of my bedroom, soaked from head to toe. He was dripping on the carpet. “I love you, Frankie. And nothing is going to prevent me from doing that to the fullest. I'm sorry.”
I blinked and slowly drew my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly. Gerard was still sitting on the edge of the bed, and he glanced at me worriedly. Mikey took a step towards me and I flinched, ducking my head to hide my face. A couple seconds later, the door slammed. Gerard's arms wrapped around me and he gently dragged me closer to him. “Shh, Frankie, it's okay,” he murmured softly. “Come on...it's alright.” I uncurled hesitantly, sniffling.
He smiled and handed me a glass of water and two small white pills. “They'll help you sleep, Frank. You need some rest.”
I nodded trustingly, taking the pills and quickly shifting to lay under the covers. Gerard got up. “Do you want me to stay in here?”
I lifted the covers and patted the bed next to me. Gerard smiled and climbed into bed, turning the light off for me. “Close your eyes, Frank. Just get some sleep, I'm here.”
He took my hand carefully, holding it tightly as exhaustion took me over and I drifted off to sleep.

---

Gerard shook me awake, stroking my hair slowly. “Frank, you need to get up for work, hon.”
I shook my head. “M’gonna call in sick.”
“Okay, do you want your phone?”
I nodded and he handed it to me, rubbing my back as I called Angelo. I explained that I was sick and he wasn't as angry as usual, just making me promise I'd go in the next day. I put my phone down on the bedside table when the call was done and rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. Gerard ran his fingers through my hair slowly. “It's gonna be okay, Frank,” he murmured, but sounded worried and uncertain. “I'm gonna go see what Mikey's up to, I'll be back, okay?”
I nodded and curled up a little, listening out for voices as soon as the door clicked shut behind him. About a minute later, I could hear Mikey.
“He doesn't want me around,” he was saying, sounding upset and tired.
“It's not that, Mikey, he just...he needs his loving Mikey, not his angry at the world Mikey.”
“I don't know how to give him that right now.”
“Well a hug would be a good start.”
The voices were getting a little closer, so I assumed they were walking towards my door.
Gerard spoke up again. “He's had a lot of therapy over this and he's...he can deal with it. What he can't deal with is you being upset over it. He's come to terms with how his life is and was now, but it's still painful sometimes.”
“I'm glad he could tell me, Gee, but I don't know if I can handle this the way he wants me to.”
“Just try, Mikey. You haven't tried.”
There was a brief knock at the door and Mikey slipped in, shutting the door behind him. “Hey.” I looked away, rubbing one eye. “Hey.”
He sat down next to me, offering me his hand. I didn’t take it. “Frankie, I know you’re mad at me, baby, but I’m trying to make this better,” he sighed.
I shrugged. “I’m not mad at you.”
“Then what’s wrong, I can’t figure this out,” Mikey mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m just tired and sad and I want my boyfriend back.”
“I’m here, Frankie. I’m here and I love you.”
I sniffed, wiping my nose on my sleeve. “You’re not my boyfriend.”
Mikey looked away sharply. “What do you mean?”
“You're not cuddling me. You're not touching my hair or my cheek. You're not trying to kiss me. You're not my Mikey.”
He buried his face in his hands, sighing. “I was trying to give you space.”
“I don't want space, I want you,” I snapped, frustrated and upset. Mikey grabbed me, pulling me into a hug and kissing my cheek softly. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he murmured, pulling me into his lap. I grabbed onto his shirt, burying my face in his neck as he held me, rubbing my back soothingly.
“I love you, Frankie. So so much. I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you. I won't let anything bad ever touch you again.”
I sniffed, hugging him back tightly. “I love you too..”

Notes

I'm putting two up now, so yeah...