Mikey kissed me softly, running his hand down my arm. “I love you, Frankie,” he murmured, and I leaned my forehead on his chest.
“I love you too, but we have to get to work.”
“I know. Come on, put your coat on. It's getting cold out.”
I nodded slightly, sighing as I slipped my jacket on. I hadn't seen Gerard in almost two weeks, he'd busied himself with new clients and with visiting with Mikey. He didn't really need me anymore, it seemed. I left him to his own devices. Mikey said he hadn't had any more episodes, and that was good enough for me. Seeing him still sent shivers down my spine, in any case.
I followed Mikey down to the car, but stayed a pace or two behind him, lost in thought. He had seemed quieter lately, a little more withdrawn and nervous, but every time I'd tried to talk to him about it, he'd pushed me away. I was worried about him, and I wasn't entirely used to being the one who worried. I was usually the one being worried about.
I stared out of the window the whole way to the club, watching everything go past numbly. Mikey tried to touch my arm, but I leaned away.
“Frank, what's wrong?”
“I dunno,” I muttered, looking down at my hands.
“I know I've been distant lately, and I'm sorry. I want things to be normal again.”
I started to chew at one of my nails lightly.
“Frankie, please. I'm sorry.”
I shrugged and he heaved a huge sigh.
“Why do I always have to be the one who's doing something wrong, huh? Why am I always the one who needs punishing?”
“You just said you'd been distant. That wasn't my fault,” I snapped, picking at a thread on my jeans.
“Yeah, well, I fucking apologized. What more do you want from me?” Mikey asked bitterly, pulling into the club’s employee parking lot. “I can't turn back fucking time.”
I got out of the car, slamming the door behind me as hard as I could before hurrying around to the side door and slipping inside. I could hear Mikey running after me, but I was already dodging through the small crowd of people, and by the time he got inside the building, I had locked myself in a cubicle in the bathroom, staring at the ceiling. He didn't come looking for me for a few minutes, so I left the bathroom and went behind the bar, starting to set up quietly.

I watched him throughout the night, bitter and angry. We were supposed to go out together after that shift, but I didn't think it was going to happen. Mikey was dancing sloppy, and that meant he was still upset.
I slipped outside for my cigarette break about an hour later. Mikey was already standing outside, leaning against the wall as he smoked. He looked at me.
“We still have plans for dinner, Frankie.”
I nodded, lighting my cigarette and standing a few feet away from him. “Didn't think you'd want to go.”
“I do. I love you, Frankie, and we need to work this out. I gotta go back inside, but I'll see you after the shift.”
He blew me a kiss and wandered inside, leaving me feeling sick. I didn't deserve the forgiveness.

At the end of the shift, I walked outside to the parking lot, my shoulders hunched against the freezing wind. I stopped and stared. Mikey's parking space was empty, his car nowhere to be seen. I stood there like an idiot for a few seconds, then pulled out my phone, calling Gerard.
“Hey Gee?”
“Yeah, Frank? What's up?”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair slowly. “I had a big fight with Mikey. Can you come pick me up from work?”
Gerard sounded surprised, his voice a little softer. “Yeah, I can. Did he..?”
“He ditched me,” I mumbled, sniffing as I scuffed the toe of my sneaker against the tarmac. “His car is gone.”
“Okay. I'll be there in five.”

Gerard watched me as I poured myself a large glass of wine. “He just left?”
I nodded shakily, picking up the glass and taking a gulp. “Yep. We were supposed to have dinner, too.”
Gerard got up, grabbing his phone off the kitchen table. “I'm gonna call the police.”
I stared at him blankly. “What? Because I had a fight with my boyfriend? They're gonna tell you to fuck off.”
“I don't care. Mikey would never ditch on plans unless something was wrong.”
I sighed, looking away sharply. “You do whatever you want.” I brushed past him, sitting down on the sofa and swallowing some more of the foul, cheap wine. I could hear Gerard talking in the kitchen.
“He's my brother, yeah….Michael James Way. He's skinny, dyed blonde hair, brown eyes...yes, he's been missing for about half an hour...I understand that, but I'm telling you he'd never ditch his boyfriend unless something was wrong. I know you can't file a report yet, I just really wanted you to maybe look out for anything? If he gets picked up somewhere or something, you could call me….oh thank you so so much, you're a life saver. Thank you.”
Gerard walked over to me, sitting down next to me and sighing. “They said they'll call if they get any ambulances or anything, y’know?”
I glared at the floor. “He's probably just getting pissed at home.”
“Then I'll go check, okay? You sit tight.”

Gerard got back almost half an hour later, looking shaky and pale. “Frank, he's in hospital.”
I nearly dropped the glass I was holding, staring at him. “What the fuck? Why?”
Gerard blinked and the tears spilled down his cheeks. “He overdosed on heroin, Frank. He's in the ICU.”

When they let us in to see Mikey, I had to hold Gerard’s hand as I followed him into the room. He was holding up a lot better than I was, much more calm and matter-of-fact with the doctors. Mikey was stable, but still in a bad condition.
I stopped a couple feet from his bed, watching Gerard lean over him. “Does he look okay?” I whispered, my hands shaking at my sides. Gerard shot me a sympathetic look, waving me over. “He just looks like he's sleeping, Frank.”
I hurried over, leaning against Gerard as I grabbed at Mikey’s cold hand. “Fuck...I'm sorry, Mikey. I shouldn't have shouted at you...I..”
I trailed off, staring at the sheets wrapped around Mikey's recumbent body. He did look like he was sleeping, his form arranged neatly in the bed. There was an oxygen tube and a couple drips, but he looked normal otherwise.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed suddenly, making Gerard jump. “He had these little marks on his arms...he said they were bug bites, but-”
“Needle marks.”
“Fucking fuck...I should have known...I should have noticed..” I mumbled, my throat tightening up as I rocked back and forth on my heels. Gerard gently steered me over to the chairs, where we both sat down. “Listen to me, Frank. This is not your fault. Mikey never told us. That's his fault.”
“But I didn't notice,” I groaned, running a hand through my hair shakily. “I should have noticed. I should have made him feel like he could tell me.”
“Don’t be stupid,” Gerard said quietly, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “You’ve gone through this before, Frank, and you know it’s not your fault.” “That was Paul,” I mumbled, looking away. “Mikey’s a good person.” But my voice broke and Gerard noticed. “Yes. He is a good person,” he said firmly, pulling me closer to him. “You have nothing to worry about with Mikey. The doctors said that they think this is his first time taking it in a while, I think he’s been trying to fight it on his own. He loves you more than anything, Frank. He wouldn’t hurt you.”
I rubbed my eyes shakily, gently pulling away from Gerard and standing up. “I need some air and several cigarettes. I’ll be back in ten.” “Okay, I’ll stay here. I have my phone on me.”

I lit up, staring across the street blankly. I couldn’t go through this again.
I sat down on a bench nearby and tugged out my phone, going through some searches before shoving my phone away and glancing back to the hospital, then across the street again.

When I got back to the room, Gerard was leaning over the bed, talking quietly. I put the box of donuts down next to the bed, then tapped Gerard’s shoulder. “I brought some coffee..” He turned and I looked past him, suddenly realising that Mikey was awake. He looked exhausted and pale, the sheets pulled up to his chest. I smiled shakily, gently pushing Gerard out of the way so I could lean down and kiss his forehead.
“Hey, Frankie,” Mikey mumbled, his voice hoarse and painful. “I’m sorry for disappointing you.”
Gerard carefully took the drinks carrier from my hand, moving it to the table. I stroked Mikey’s hair gently, my fingers trembling.
“I love you,” I whispered, trying not to cry as Mikey looked at me sadly. “I love you no matter what.”
He managed a tiny smile and I nuzzled his cheek, hugging him as carefully as I could. “I just wish you’d told me,” I murmured, rubbing his shoulder lightly. “I could have helped.”
Mikey pushed my chest just slightly and I pulled away quickly. “Sorry, sorry.”
He smiled a little wider. “It’s okay, I just need some air.”
I pulled a chair up to the bed, sitting down and holding Mikey’s hand tightly. Gerard squeezed my shoulder lightly. “Hey, Mikey, do you wanna sit up a little bit?”
He nodded and Gerard helped me figure out how to raise the bed, just enough for Mikey to have a drink of water. “Is that better?” I asked softly, squeezing Mikey’s hand gently. He nodded again and I smiled, running my thumb over his knuckles. “You want a donut?” Gerard grinned, and Mikey rolled his eyes. “Sounds great, actually, but my throat hurts.”
I leaned over and kissed Mikey’s cheek softly, earning a small smile.
“I gotta go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” Gerard announced, slipping out of the room.
I looked at Mikey and he sighed, squeezing my hand. “Are you angry with me, Frankie? Please tell the truth..”
I sighed and looked down slightly. “No, not really. I’m upset that I didn’t see it, and I’m really sad that you didn’t tell me, but I’m not angry with you.” “You look like you’re more than upset.”
I took a deep breath and looked Mikey in the eyes. “Paul was a meth addict, Mikey. He tried to get clean a bunch of times, but he never could. He kept relapsing, and he kept hurting me because of it. I’m fucking scared, Mikey.”
Mikey stared at me for a couple seconds, then looked away. “I’m not denying that I have a problem. And I’m not denying that I tried to break it on my own, but I would never fucking hurt you, Frank.” He looked at me again, holding my hand tightly. “Never. I love you more than anything, sweetie.”
I nodded, lifting his hand to kiss his fingers. “I know, but I’m irrational. It’s an irrational fear. But look..” I unlocked my phone and handed it to him. “I’m gonna pay this time. I’m gonna pay for you to go to one of those really good places, y’know? And I am not going to let you do this to yourself.”Mikey sighed, shifting slightly. “You can’t afford that, baby...we can’t afford that..”
I smiled, kissing his forehead. “I have some savings, Mikey. Please just let me help you.”
He let go of my hand, pushing himself up into a more comfortable position. “Can we talk about this more another time? Please, baby?”
I bit my lip, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “Okay, I’m sorry. It’s not uh..not the best time.”
He smiled, stroking my cheek slowly. “Not really. I’d just really like you to sit with me for a while.” I nodded, sitting back in my chair. “Are you sure you don’t want a donut?”
Mikey chuckled, smiling at me. “No, you have them.”

Gerard sat down next to me, rubbing my back slowly. “Mikey’s gone back to sleep for now. They’re gonna come take him in the morning. Are you sure about this?”
I nodded, running a hand through my hair slowly. “Yeah. I tried everything else with Paul. I can go see him everyday, and he’s gonna be there for as long as he needs, right? He’ll be fine, and I’m gonna go back to counseling, so I can learn to help him when he comes home. We’ll both be fine.”
Gerard sighed. “Just remember that Mikey isn’t Paul. He’s been trying to do this by himself for so long, and he’s been doing really well. He would never hurt you.”
I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder. “I know, Gee. I'm not really scared anymore. I'm ready to do this again, and I'm ready to do it right.”
Gerard chuckled softly, brushing my hair out of my face. “You didn't do anything wrong the first time, you just did it with the wrong person.”

---

As soon as I stepped inside the doors of the huge building, everything was white and clinical. White walls, white floors, white tables and chairs. I walked up to the desk, smiling nervously. “I'm here to see Mikey Way.”
The woman nodded. “Go sit down and I'll get a nurse to take you through to him. He's been having a bad day, be prepared.”
I walked back towards the door, sitting down in one of the chairs and setting my bag down next to me. I watched the woman, folding my hands in my lap as I waited. Her long hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, the white scrubs accentuating the severe look.
Another woman stepped through a door nearby, looking at me. “Frank?” She called. She was also wearing bright white scrubs, but with a blue collar. I got up, grabbing my bag before hurrying over. “That's me.”
She smiled at me. “Good, Mikey's been missing you.” I followed her through the door, holding my bag up.
“I brought him some food, am I allowed to give it to him?”
The nurse nodded, taking the bag and looking inside. “Yes, but only you,” she said. “Because you admitted him, but anyone else, we can't accept anything brought in.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets, following her down the seemingly endless corridors. “Can his brother bring anything?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Sorry, we've had too many smuggling incidents.”
I nodded slightly. “That's understandable.”
The nurse stopped by one of the doors, room 133. “He's not in good shape today, but he'll be glad to see you.”
She swung the door open and I blinked. The transition between the clinical white corridors and the cozy, homely room was a little jarring, but it made me smile. The room was comfortable, the walls in varying shades of blue. The sheer curtain drawn around the bed was white, but there was very little other white in the room.
“Mikey?” The nurse called. “Frank's here to see you.” She turned to me. “I'll wait outside, you have an hour with him.”
I walked over to the bed, carefully pulling the curtain back. Mikey was facing away from me, shaking just slightly and almost dripping with sweat. I touched his shoulder and he jerked, gasping slightly.
“Mikey, baby, it's me..” I murmured, kissing the side of his head.
“I'm sorry Frankie..” He choked out, trying to grab at my hand and missing. “I feel so shitty.”
I smiled and gently rolled him onto his back. “Shh, don't be silly. I'm here to comfort you, I don't expect you to be perfect on day one.”
Mikey whimpered and I brushed my fingertips over his cheek. “I love you, Mikey,” I murmured, rubbing his arm slowly. “Here, I brought you some pie..”
I tried to offer him the box and he pushed it away quickly. “No, baby. Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I feel really sick.”
I blushed, holding my hand over my eyes. “Shit, I forgot. I'm so stupid, I'm sorry.”
Mikey chuckled, his fingers twitching. “Don’t beat yourself up. I have a fridge, if you put it in there I might manage some later.”
I nodded, hurrying into the little kitchenette and carefully putting the box in the fridge. I then jogged to the bathroom, grabbing one of the washcloths and running it under cold water.
I walked back to Mikey, sitting down on the edge of the bed and holding the cloth against his forehead. He was shaking more, trying to grab at my clothing. I took one of his hands with my spare hand, running my thumb over his knuckles. “I'm here, Mikey. It's okay, baby. I know this sucks, but this is the best place for you.”
“I know,” he mumbled, squeezing my hand weakly. “I just wish you could be here all the time.”
“Me too. But I'm gonna come every day, I swear. I'll get two hour visits on the weekends, and they say you shouldn't be here much more than two weeks.”
Mikey smiled slightly, shifting. “You're the best, beautiful. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I murmured, leaning down and kissing him lightly. He pushed me away gently, laughing raspily. “I've been throwing up, baby, I probably taste gross.”
I grinned and kissed his cheek. “That's okay. I love you too much to care.”
I turned the little tv on and laid down next to Mikey, on top of the sheets and on my side so I could watch over him. He looked exhausted, his eyelids slipping shut every now and then.
“Mikey?” I murmured. “You're falling asleep, sweetie. Don't fight it, yeah? I'd rather you got some rest.”
He nodded just slightly, and soon relaxed completely as he drifted off to sleep.
I stayed with him for the rest of my hour, but he didn't wake up, not even when I left, so I wrote him a quick note before I headed out.

I called Gerard on my way home, sighing in relief when he picked up. “Hey, Frank. What's going on?”
I bit my lip lightly. “I had my first visit with Mikey today.”
“Oh, how'd it go?”
I sighed again, changing lanes quickly. “Um. It was okay, I guess. He was happy to see me, but he wasn't doing so well. He was kinda twitchy and sweaty and stuff, but not too bad, I don't think. Looked miserable.”
“Yeah, drug withdrawals will do that to you,” Gerard said quietly. “Was he talking to you okay and everything?”
I exited the freeway, heading towards my street. “Yep. He seemed very with it, alert, all that shit. He's got a really nice room, it's cozy and he's got everything he needs. I just hope he's gonna be okay.”
Gerard chuckled softly. “He will be, Frankie. Of course he will. All this will work itself out and he’ll be back before you know it. Everything will be okay.”

Notes

Some drama for you guys :)
I'm going to need some help fairly soon because there's going to be some revelations and Frank is going to have to make a big decision...only problem is that I can't choose which way to write it, so I was thinking you could help me out