I came to in a hospital bed, Mikey asleep in an uncomfortably tight space next to me. Gerard was sitting in a hard plastic chair in the corner, staring at nothing and singing to himself.
I looked at him and he suddenly blinked, looking back at me. “I'm so fucking sorry,” he whispered. I shivered.
“I can't stop dreaming.”
Gerard bit his lip. “We said we'd never talk about the past...but Frankie...I still don't know what happened to you, not really.”
I looked away sharply, my jaw tightening. “I'm not going to talk about it, not now.”
“Frank..”
“No!” I snapped, and Mikey shifted. “I don't wanna talk to you, you're ruining my relationship with Mikey, and you're ruining my goddamn life! Why the fuck did you have to do it? Why the fuck do you always have to tease me like this?”
I screamed at nothing, at everything, and Mikey's arms were around me, his soft voice in my ear.
“It's okay, baby. I've got you. Shh, I love you, Frankie, it's okay. Lay down, baby, shh.”
Gerard slammed the door behind him as he left the room.

---

Mikey leaned in the doorway, watching me. “I can't find Gerard,” he said flatly.
I looked away. “Why are you always pissed at me?”
“Because you screamed at him, maybe?” Mikey snapped, folding his arms over his chest. “He's still recovering and you blamed him and told him he's the reason you have a shitty life. I'd run away too.”
“You don't know jack shit about me or about Gerard,” I growled, not looking at him. “He's done something to me, something he should never have fucking done.”
Mikey heaved a sigh. “When he gets back, I'm gonna lock both of you fuckwads in a room for as long as it fucking takes for you to work out your shit. I can't take this anymore, I really fucking can't. I'm going home.”
I watched him go, wanting to call him back. Instead, I threw a plastic cup across the room.

---

Gerard crept into my room about an hour later, staring at me nervously. I glared at him and he flinched.
“Frankie, I was having an episode,” he whispered, inching closer to the bed. “I didn't mean to. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me. Please.”
I sighed and looked down, rubbing my eyes angrily as they filled with tears again. “Fuck. I can't stay angry with you, Gee. I just can't.”
He shuffled a little closer, trying to grab my hand clumsily. “I'm gonna be a better friend, Frankie..”
I raised my head, sniffing. “Fuck, you're a great friend already, I just...I can't deal with this. I need a couple days to myself. Will you and Mikey be okay? If I just...go home tonight and not see you for a couple days?”
Gerard nodded, squeezing my hand and watching me owlishly. “Mhm. I'll take care of him.”
I sniffed again, wiping my nose on the back of my hand. “Why am I here?”
“Mikey thought you were coughing blood, but you just bit your cheek. You have a couple stitches and you need to eat soup for a few days, but you're okay.”
“Okay. I'm going home. Now. Go find Mikey. Tell him...tell him I'm okay and this will be over in a couple days. I just need some space to work through this shit on my own. I'll call him tomorrow.”
“Okay. I love you, Iero.”
“I love you, Lucas.”

---

I spent my two days in bed, and didn't call Mikey until the evening of my second day.
“Hey,” he answered gruffly, sounding upset still.
“Hi,” I whispered, sniffing. “I'm so sorry.”
“It's...it's not alright, but I'm still here. I still love you, baby. But you scared me shitless.”
I looked down at the floor, digging my toe into the carpet. “Gerard and I worked shit out and I don't wanna talk about it anymore. I just wanna..” I sniffed again, trying not to cry. “I just wanna kiss my boyfriend. I wanna cuddle. I wanna lay in bed with you and do fuck all. Please?” I sobbed a little, running a hand through my hair. “P-please?”
Mikey paused for a few agonizing seconds.
“Yeah, of course, love. I have to go to work now, though. I'll come over after, and I'll bring waffles. Okay?”
I giggled through my tears, trembling. “Th-thanks. I l-love you.”
“I love you too, baby. So so much. You should call Gerard, he's been worrying about you.”
“He probably thinks I'm dead,” I snorted, holding my hand over my mouth. “I'll call him soon. Bye.”
I hung up and stared at my phone for a couple minutes, trying to calm my breathing.
“Hey, Frankie! Are you okay?”
“I'm fine,” I said through gritted teeth. “I'm tired.”
“I'm sorry,” Gerard mumbled, sounding crestfallen. “I'm sorry.”
“It's not your fault, asshole,” I sighed, rubbing my eyes shakily. “Is Mikey alright?”
“To tell you the truth, I don't really know,” Gerard answered quietly. “He's been in and out a lot, but out more than in. I haven't seen him much.”
“Okay. He's coming over after his shift, I think. I think we’re gonna be okay.”
“I hope so, sweetie. He's under a lot of pressure.”
I took a deep breath. “Gee. You have to stop calling me Frankie. And sweetie. Please.”
Gerard hesitated. “Okay...I'm sorry. I'll stop.”
I took a deep breath, my throat closing up as I forced the tears down. “Thanks. I gotta go, I'll speak to you later.”
I hung up before he could say anything.

---

Mikey pulled me against his chest, holding me so tight I could barely breathe. “I missed you so badly,” he murmured, stroking my hair slowly. “I shouldn't have shouted at you in the hospital. Gerard told me he did something he shouldn't have...but he won't tell me what..?”
Mikey added a question mark to the simple phrase, but I just ignored it.
“It triggered some painful memories for me and I'm not in any state to handle them at the moment..”
Mikey let go of me, but kept an arm around my waist so I couldn't get too far away. “Well, I'm here for you, Frankie.”
He leaned down, brushing my hair out of my face. I blushed and looked down, but he lifted my chin gently, kissing me softly. “I love you,” he murmured against my lips, carefully scooping me up. I squealed, wrapping my legs around his waist quickly. “Fuck, Mikey!” I giggled, nuzzling his cheek. “Some warning would be nice!”
He chuckled and carried me to my bed, standing there for a minute and just rubbing my back. “I want you to move in with me, Frankie.”
I blinked, leaning back a bit to look at him. “Really?”
“Yeah, really,” Mikey grinned, kissing my cheek. “This tiny apartment is cute, but it's not really...big enough for two people.”
I glanced around and giggled. “This is true.”
“Okay. Maybe we can start packing your stuff this weekend? It'll give us something to do.”
I nodded and tried to slide off him to my feet, but he caught me carefully, holding me against his chest. “Hold on. I wanna go take a shower.”
I blushed bright red and nodded shyly, holding onto Mikey’s neck as he carried me to the bathroom, carefully setting me on my feet before turning the shower on. He leaned down to kiss me, lifting my shirt up slowly as he deepened the kiss a little. I shivered, breaking away so he could take my shirt off. I unbuckled my belt impatiently, kicking my jeans away quickly. Mikey chuckled and stripped to his boxers, then kissed me again softly, pulling me closer to him.
“You are so beautiful, Frankie,” he murmured, stroking my cheek as he ran one hand over my chest and stomach, getting a little lower each time, and closer to the waistband of my boxers. I wriggled uncomfortably, trying to take a step back. Mikey brought his hand back up higher, leaning down a little further to kiss my neck. “It's okay, Frankie. It's just me.”
He kicked his boxers off and waited for me to shed mine, then carefully helped me into the shower, staring at me as the water flowed over my skin, making my tattoos practically glow. “God, you are stunning.”
I blushed and bit my lip, feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
“It's okay, Frankie. You don't have to do or say anything. I've got you.”
Mikey put his hands on my hips, kissing my collarbone and slowly making his way down to my belly button. I whined as he moved even lower and he glanced up at me. “Keep your eyes open and just watch me, okay?”
I nodded, taking a deep breath and grabbing onto the handrail with a white-knuckle grip.

---

I curled up in Mikey’s arms, wrapped in nothing but a towel. “Was that good?” He asked nervously, rubbing my back. I nodded, blushing.
“I don't think I've had a blowjob for like six years.”
“Well, I hope it was a good one to break that streak,” Mikey chuckled, stroking my hair slowly. I grinned and rolled my eyes. “My legs are still shaky, is that a good enough answer for you?”
He nodded, kissing my cheek softly. “Do you wanna go lay in bed for a while?”
I smiled and relaxed against his chest. “Mhm. A nap sounds awesome right now.”
“Okay. Let's go..”
He lifted me up easily, carrying me over to bed and laying me down. “There. Feel better?” I nodded, grabbing at him gently, pulling him with me. He chuckled and got into bed behind me, pulling my back against his chest and throwing an arm over my waist. “Mm. I love you, Frankie,” he murmured, kissing the back of my jaw. “You're the best little spoon ever.”
I giggled, hugging his arm and yawning. “I love you too, but I'm gonna sleep now.”
“You do that. I'm right here.”

---

I woke up a little surprised, glancing around. Mikey rubbed my side slowly. “Hi sweetie. You didn't wake me up this time, did you sleep better?”
I nodded sleepily, rolling over to face him. “I'm still tired,” I mumbled, nuzzling up to him.
“I know, Frankie, but I think you should get up. You need to go outside and get some fresh air and all that stuff. Come on..” Mikey sat up, watching as I slipped out of bed lazily.
I got dressed slowly, not really feeling like it. Mikey helped me with my shirt, kissing me softly. “We have shifts at work in a couple hours, okay?”
I nodded, leaning against him sleepily. “I'm so tired.”
“I know. Come on, let me get dressed and we’ll go.”

Mikey and I just walked for a while, holding hands tightly. Neither of us really knew where we were going, but it just felt good to be out and walking. Mikey bought me an ice cream even though it was freezing cold, and we just laughed and talked about happy things. And then we had to go to work.

---

Ryan sneered at me, sidling over. “Did you fuck him yet?”
I shook my head mutely.
“Come on, you've been with him for over a month and you haven't fucked him? That's weird.”
I closed my eyes for a couple seconds and took a deep breath. I heard running footsteps and looked up as Mikey skidded to a stop in front of the bar. “Frankie?”
I hurried over to him, frowning. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing,” he grinned, leaning over and pulling me into a kiss. I went bright red, but kissed back, clinging to him like a life raft in a choppy sea.
“I love you,” he murmured as he broke away, but ran off towards the stage before I could answer. I glanced around and Ryan was staring, a weird little grin on his face. I flipped him off and got back to work, but he shuffled past me, grabbing my ass on the way. Something in me snapped and I whipped around, punching him square in the face. His head snapped back and he collapsed as I stood there, breathing heavily. I heard shouting and seconds later, gentle hands were pulling me away from Ryan, out from behind the bar. Mikey hugged me tightly, letting me bury my face in his chest as I started to sob softly.
“It's okay, Frankie. What happened? Hmm? Can you tell me what happened?”
He lifted my chin gently and I shivered, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I didn't mean to! He g-grabbed me, Mikey! He grabbed my a-ass and I couldn't take it anymore!”
“I'm so sorry, baby,” Mikey murmured, cradling my head as I sobbed into his chest again. “I've got you, Frankie. Please stop crying, please. We gotta go talk to Angelo, before Ryan comes round.”

---

Mikey held my hand tightly, watching me worriedly. Angelo was actually listening for once, and it seemed best to make the most of it.
“Ryan's always saying stuff to me, like asking me about my personal stuff and sex life and if I don't answer, he just keeps harassing me. You know I've been in an abusive marriage, can you imagine what being harassed like that does to me? He grabbed my ass, Angelo.”
Angelo sighed and stood up. “I'm not an asshole, like most of my employees seem to think. I'm gonna fire Ryan, and you're gonna have a warning. You punch another guy and you're fired as well, okay? I can't have my barmen punching people all the time, it looks bad. Now get back to work, we open in five minutes.”
I followed Mikey as he led me out of the office, still holding my hand tightly. He stopped by the bar and kissed my forehead. “You're okay. You gotta focus on the job, yeah? Let it take you over for a few hours and then we can go home and cuddle and eat ice cream.”
He picked up my hand, turning it over. “You're gonna have a bad bruise, and you ought to wash your hands.”
I nodded, gently pulling away. “You need to go. I love you.”
Mikey pecked my lips. “I love you too,” he murmured, then hurried off towards the stage.

---

Mikey stroked my hair slowly, flicking through channels on the tv. “You pack quite a punch, Frankie, apparently you broke his nose.”
I winced, taking the remote from Mikey and watching as he put his phone down. “Do you wanna watch a movie?” I asked, a little louder than necessary. “Sure. You pick one, baby, I gotta go pee,” Mikey said, getting up carefully.
“Have a nice time,” I mumbled, more as a knee-jerk reaction than anything else. Mikey chuckled, but didn't say anything.
Mikey's phone rang while he was in the bathroom, but the caller ID came up as Gerard, so I answered it for him.
“Hey, it's Frank,” I said quietly.
“Hey, Frank. Is Mikey around?” Gerard sounded normal, which was weird. He didn't usually call unless something was wrong.
“He's in the bathroom, is everything alright?”
“Yeah, he just left some stuff at my place he needs to pick up, can you get the message to him?”
“Sure,” I murmured, my throat tightening again. “I punched Ryan today.”
“Nice, he deserved that. He's a cunt.”
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “He grabbed my ass, Gerard.”
“Okay, well then he doubly deserved that.”
“I broke his nose.”
Gerard must have finally noticed my tone, as he went quiet. “I'm sorry that happened to you, Frank. Are you okay?”
“Just a bruised hand,” I sighed quietly. “But I feel bad.”
“You don't have to, Frank. He had it coming and you were defending yourself against sexual assault. Now I gotta go, okay? Call me if you need me, I'm right here for you.”
“Okay,” I muttered, looking down. “I'll talk to you soon.” I hung up and Mikey squeezed my shoulder. “He's worried about you, sweetie.”
He walked around and sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around my waist. “He said you left some stuff at his place,” I said flatly, not looking at Mikey.
“Okay. What's wrong?”
“I don't know, I just feel shitty today,” I answered honestly, still not looking at him.
“I'm sorry. I think you could do with some sleep, though.”
“I'm always sleeping..”
“You've been having a lot of nightmares lately, that's bad quality sleep. You need to catch up on some good quality stuff, that's why you're so tired,” Mikey explained gently, kissing my cheek. “But I'll put a movie on and we can cuddle for a while if you prefer.”
I nodded slightly. “That sounds really nice.”

Notes

I've already written up to about chapter thirteen.
I think you're gonna hate me by chapter fourteen...