the office,the widower, and the intern (what do we want, when we do what we want)

Everything was fine with the dog, other than it not standing, worrying Frank even more of why it wasn't getting up, I swear if he wasn't crying I'd still be pissed at him, but, he looked so sad, and I couldn't help it, I felt bad, fuck you!....I'm yelling at myself...in my own head...GREAT IVE LOST MY MIND!

They ended up having to keep the dog overnight so make sure it was all fine so he ended up trying to recompose himself before stepping out of the veterinarian office.

"Thank you" he mutters while walking down street, head bowed

"shut up" I snap harshly, YOUR CRYING CANT STOP ME NOW! no more mister nice Gerard, okay calm down, keep it calm.

"Okay" he whispered, slowing down abit

"why the fuck, did you call me?" I sigh loudly and talk again before he can answer "Congratulations, though, you invented a whole new kind of stupid, a damage you can never undo kind of stupid, an open all the cages at the zoo kind of stupid, a truly you didn't think what you said through kind of stupid" I say rather loudly

"Let's review." I say quickly

"we had a nice time a night or so ago and you went and turned that all around making yourself into something maybe one fourth of my brain even thought of, into something I wouldn't have even accused you of being." I was pissed, truly I hadn't acted like this in awhile.

"It was a joke" he stated

"Well it wasn't too funny was it, not to mention the whole ignoring me all day until you need my help"

"so congratulations, you've ruined one of the last things I looked forward to in this fucking city" I walk off faster, hoping to get home before I start to cry, jeez I'm pathetic aren't I.

I heard loud fast foot steps running up behind me and am suddenly grabbed hold of.

"FUCK FRANK GET OFF OF ME" I yell, hoping to scare him off

"I'm sorry, and I'll keep on apologizing and holding onto you until you forgive me so please be soon" he said this as if it's a last ditch attempt to make amends

"FUCK OFF, LET ME GO!" I yell again, pushing him off of me with my foot

"Please Gee...."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT"

"I'm sorry..."

"ITS NOT EVEN YOUR JOKE THAT PISSED ME OFF, ITS THAT YOU IGNORED ME ALL DAY BUT CAME BACK WHEN YOU NEEDED HELP" I was still yelling, I need to stop yelling

"Just leave me alone" I say and keep walking, this time with no complications

~~~~

making it back was easy, sitting alone with no one to judge me if I was crying was hard, you see, if people are there around you to look at you and judge you, you don't act weird because social normality, so when you're alone, you don't follow those socially imposed rules, like crying, I don't cry in public, well I have, but it's not a normal occurrence, so at home, crying is allowed, and everything in a day come pouring out. like today, here I am sitting up against my door crying like a fucking loser.


I don't know why I care, even more, I don't know why I care about him, everything could have been soooooo easy, but no, the universe fucking hates me and decided that I get to live through hell, to think it was ever normal is hard to believe.

~~~~~~~~Flash back like thing wottt~~~~~~~~~

I got the call late at night from calvary hospital in Bronx about the crash, it was insane how fast everything went down that night, from being told everything will be fine, to hopping on the metro at 12am to getting to the hospital room.

as soon as I arrived thou everything seemed steady and slow as I asked him questions about what happened and how he was feeling. the nurse having the answer a few, a drunk driver in a head-on crash, sure it was somewhat normal but what made everything weird was the bruise on his stomach, they said it was fine and where the chair had gone back then forward pushing him into the steering wheel then the air bag, it was normal, nothing wrong at all, but the back of head too had hit the seat hard, and suddenly his heart rate went up and the monitor went wild with sounds and then a simple flat line. it was so quick, so unexpected I didn't get to say goodbye, I can't even say his name without thinking that, did he know? could I have helped? could I have said goodbye?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F: Gerard, i'm sorry, and I'll stop talking to you and everything, I just really want to know you're okay

F: I'm sorry, I shouldn't be worrying about you, but still....

F: I'm still so sorry

G: Fuck off

F: okay, bye

G:....

G: You know I can see when you look at a text

G: like right now

F: you never said I couldn't look....

G: shut up, I want this to seem like a one-sided conversation with my inner self

F: how can I make it up to you?

F: it could be anything!

G: anything?

F: anything!

G: Hamilton tickets.....

F: dude, that's both off broadway and its more likely for me to recreate Alexander hamiltons life than to get tickets

G: sooooo, not anything.....

F: not hamilton tickets....

G: Okay maybe...........I dunno, catch an alien for me...

F: ummmmm......

G: okay fine, bring coffee, then we talk....

F: you sell yourself cheap

G: Fuck off and get me my coffee


Surprisingly, frank did come by with the coffee (much to my enjoyment)

"so is this never?" he asked sarcaticly as he sat down

"you are walking on thin ice shorty so I wouldn't..."

"okay okay sorry, but really how can I make it all better cause I really don't want to pretend you dont exist..."

"me neither, that would really suck, honestly I don't think youre a douche, I really do like you...."

"thank you...? and what?!"

"NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Your blushing makes me think otherwise..."

"I 'm blushing cause you're embarrassing me, and I will stab you"

"sorry...." he looked down almost like he was sad, was he sad? why was he sad?

"what?" I ask

What?" he repeats

"you look like someone killed your puppy...fuck wait no, I mean like you dropped your ice cream, whats wrong?"

"smooooooth" he said rolling his eyes

"Youre avoiding the question"

"am not"

"uh am too"

"am not"

"tell me!"

"I...Um, I-I can't..."

"fuck you, tell me"

"I still like you..." he muttered, and the room went silen

Notes

who do you think his late husband was?
leave your answer in the comments below