Scandalous (Frerard)

Chapter 4
Gerard’s p.o.v

“Gerard, I’m sure he’ll be fine for the night. Besides he’s in the hospital, he can’t do much.” Mikey tells me, although he seems unsure himself.
We were on the couch, watching Pirates of the Caribbean. We had just gotten home from the hospital, where we had been for at least 3 hours. They finally kicked us out at about 11.
“Damn, I feel so bad for that kid.” Burt grumbled, looking sadly at his hands.
“You don’t know the half of it, dude.” I say, shaking my head. “What do you mean?” Mikey asks, looking confusedly at me. I bit my lip, debating on whether to tell him or not.
“Well, y’know how his dad gets drugs monthly?” I ask, looking at them wearily, making them nod.
“Frank thinks his dad just gets weed, but he gets heroin too. He knows Frank does drugs too, the heavy shit. He just doesn’t give a fuck about Frank. Last night I called him about his fix, and he was fucking a chick other then his wife.” I tell them, shaking my head. I looked down at my hands, hearing them both make a sound of surprise.
“Dude, thats so fucked up. No wonder Frank's fucked up, his family is fake. Hell, if I were him, i'd wan to die too.” Bert says frowning.
“I don’t think that's why he wants to die.” I say, shrugging a little.
“Why do you think that?” Bert asks me, looking at me confusefly. I shrug a little, looking back down at my hands.
“Well, when I was talking to him the first day I met him, we were talking about his fix, and he mentioned something had happened to him. He didn't say what, but he flinches any time someone touches him. Haven’t you noticed?” I asked them.
“I haven’t.” Bert says, frowning slightly.
“I have. It was really obvious when you grabbed his arm, he looked like he was gonna pass out.” Mikey says, nodding his head.
Frank looked so broken and small today. I wanted to kiss away every last ounce of pain in his beautiful body, I wanted him to be happy.
How could someone do beautiful, so perfect, hurt so bad?
“We should sleep. It’s late.” Mikey says, getting up from the couch. I nod, getting up too. Bert slips his hand into mine as we enter his room. He slipped his jeans and shirt off, as did I. I slip under the covers, Bert soon after. He spoons me and kisses my neck a little, before whispering a good night.
Me and Bert weren’t ‘together’ persay, but sometimes we acted like it. We were just friends who kissed. And cuddled.
It was quite a weird thing I had going with him actually. We’d always acted like this, ever since high school, but if one of us got with another person, we immediately stopped.
I didn’t love Bert, but I did like him a little. It was just nice to be with someone, but not actually be with them, y'know?
It actually made me feel guilty because I liked Frank, a lot. A lot, a lot. But what if he was straight? What if I’m pining over a guy I’d never have?
I heard Bert snore a little, snapping me back to reality. I can’t fucking sleep.
I got up and made my way down to the kitchen, grabbing a cup and pouring myself some sweet tea.
My thoughts immediately go to Frank as I sit at the table, cup in hand. Was he okay? I wonder if he needed me right now? Should I call him?
After about 5 minutes of debating on whether I should call him, I decide to do it. What's the harm? I grab my phone from the counter I left it on, and quickly dial Franks contact number.
After two rings he picks up.
“Hello? Gerard?” He says, his voice quiet and groggy.
“Hey Frankie.” I respond. My voice low and soft.
“I’m glad you called, i was just thinking about you.” He states, making me blush. Dammit Frank.
“O-oh, yeah? What about me?” I asked, my voice weak.
“You're just so nice and perfect...and beautiful.” He says, his voice still sounding tired. I blushed again, making me thankful he couldn’t see me.
“How tired are you Frank?” I respond, trying to laugh it off.
“I’m not...that tired.” He says quietly.
Were quiet for a few seconds, each of us consumed in our thoughts. I listen to his voice breathing, and the unmistakable beep of a heart monitor.
“This is weird.” He states suddenly, making me frown.
“What is?” I respond, confusion ringing out clearly in my low voice.
“This. i barely know you, and I feel more comfortable around you then my own family. I met you, like, three days ago and I trust you more than I trust myself.” He answers, making me frown. Did he not like this?
“Oh…” I say, my voice coming out disappointed.
“It’s not a bad thing though, I like this… like you said, I need some one.” He says quickly, erasing my worry and disappointment. I breathed a ugh of relief, making him giggle.
“You should sleep, Frankie.” I say suddenly.
“Mmm, I can’t. Sing to me?” He asks, completely serious.
“Sing?” I respond, utterly confused.
“Yeah. Please, Gee?” He says, the use of the nickname melting my heart.
“Okay, fine. What do you want me to sing?” I answer.
“Mmm….Do you know any shinedown?” He asks, making me smile a little. I fucking love shinedown. I make a sound of agreement before beginning. My favorite song by them is called 'call me'. It's truely a beautiful song when you listen.
“Wrap me in a bolt of lightning
Send me on my way still smiling
Maybe that's the way I should go,
Straight into the mouth of the unknown
I left the spare key on the table
Never really thought I'd be able to say….”
By now I can hear his soft snores, angelic and husky. I smile a little, listening to his breath.
“Night Frankie.” I whisper, hang up the phone. I sigh, coming back to reality, to the kitchen I’m actually standing in, and the wonderful, happy place Frank takes me when I talk to him.
It made me feel guilty, really, because I was just kissing another man.
“Gerard, what are you doing up?” Mikey voice startles me, making me jump in my chair.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Mikey! Don’t do that!” I say, my voice alarmed. He laughs at me and sits in the chair next to me, smiling softly at me.
“So...You like Frank.” He says bluntly, making my eyes bulge.
“Nope.” I lie, shaking my head vigorously. He smirks and nods, ignoring my protest.
“You do.” He argues, smirking. I don’t protest this time, because I know its not gonna change his mind.
“But...Bert.” I say simply, looking at my hands guilty. He raises his eyebrows, looking at me as if I’m speaking in an alien language.
“What about him? It’s never been a problem before. This is what you guys do, your there for each other when you're...single. And if you're not, you guys back the fuck off of each other.” Mikey responds, looking questioningly at me.
“It...it feels different this time. Berts clingier, and I feel like something's gonna happen.” I sigh, shaking my head lightly.
“I...Just tell him then. Tell him you want Frank.” Mikey answers, looking me in the eyes.
“But what if Frank is straight?” I ask, looking longingly at my hands.
“So then fuck him, right? You gotta try, Gee, otherwise you’ll never know what could have been.” Mikey states, getting up from his chair. He leaves the kitchen, going to his room, I assume.
Fucking Aye. Me and Frank? Could that happen?
Fuck, I know I have to try.
*
*
*
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times; I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are

Notes

Can't stop puking :'(
Don't ever take more pills then your supposed to.
And don't drink brandy afterwards.
xoxMay<3