The Sharpest Lives

“Hey mom.” Gerard answered the phone.
“Hi baby, how are you feeling?” She asked. Mikey called her a few days after Gerard went into the hospital, but he begged her not to come. Mikey knew it would only upset her and make everyone nervous. He didn’t tell her exactly what happened, just told her he had pneumonia and that he was taking care of him. It took hours of convincing, but eventually she gave in. Trying to dodge her questions for over three weeks was exhausting, but he knew it would save Gerard years of coddling.
“I’m fine. How are you?” He asked, he was stirring a pot of spaghetti in Gerard’s kitchen, helping him make dinner.
“I’m well. You got a letter the other day, dear.” She said.
“From who?”
“I don’t know, it doesn’t have a return address.” She shrugged. “I forwarded it to you yesterday.”
“Oh, ok. Thanks.” Gerard replied, not thinking anything of it. It was probably a card from a long lost aunt or junk mail. It happened occasionally, and she would just forward them along.
“How’s Frank? He healing well?”
“Almost back to normal.” He smiled at Frank. His arm was doing better every day, gaining movement and strength. Frank smiled back from the other side of the kitchen where he was chopping something. The two gazed at each other for a moment before Frank promptly stuck his tongue out at Gerard and crossed his eyes. Gerard just laughed and turned back to the stove.
“That’s good. Tell him I said hello and that I miss you two.”
“We miss you too, mom.” Gerard chuckled. She really loved Frank.
“Ok well I won’t keep you, sweetie. Love you.” She said.
“Love you, too.” Gerard hung up the phone and returned to stirring.

“How’s momma Way?” Frank asked, kissing Gerard on the cheek.
“She’s good, said I got a letter.” Gerard said, blushing.
“Yeah?”
“Mmhm.” Gerard giggled. “So what is this we’re making?” He asked, stirring the spaghetti.
“Vegan carbonara. Its wheat pasta mixed with peas and some of that fake bacon you like.” Frank smiled, pulling plates down from the cupboard carefully, trying not to hurt his arm.
“Mmm. Sounds good. You know me so well.”
Frank plated some of the pasta, topping them with the sauce he had been making, and set them on the coffee table. He smiled over at Gerard as they sat on the couch, getting comfortable with a blanket and a movie.
“So, Gee…your birthday is coming up in a few days.” Frank mumbled with a mouthful of food.
“Oh no.” Gerard replied slyly.
“What? I’m excited. You’re not?” Frank asked.
“Eh. I’ve never been a huge fan of my birthday. Never really had someone special to spend it with until now.” Gerard flushed as he said it.
“Well. Now you do, so we’re going to celebrate!” Frank exclaimed. He didn’t know exactly what he had planned, but knew it would be something special. He and Gerard had been together for almost four months now, and he wanted to take the opportunity to prove to him that he was in this for the long haul. With everything the couple had been through already in their young relationship, he knew he could never have the connection with anyone else he has with Gerard. It was more than love, it was adoration and he was positive they were soulmates.
“This is really good, Frankie.” Gerard said as he took a bite of his pasta. He liked times like these, when he was able to just live in the moment with Frank. He was learning to think about the now instead of the future and the what if’s and Frank was helping him do that.

“I love you, Gee.” Frank whispered into Gerard’s ear. They had finished their dinner and made themselves comfortable on the couch, holding each other.
“I love you too, Frankie. So, so much.” Gerard replied, nuzzling into Frank’s neck. He breathed in the smell of cigarettes and cologne. He was warm and soft and so very flawless in Gerard’s eyes. He felt Frank’s hands rubbing circles in his back, nails scratching the skin peeking out from the midriff of his shirt. Every touch made Gerard shudder and sigh as he relaxed farther into his boyfriend’s arms.
Frank’s hands were slowly moving up under Gerard’s shirt, feeling the warm, smooth skin underneath. Gerard started running kisses up Frank’s neck, earning tiny whines from the younger man. He gently scraped his teeth across Frank’s collar bone making him moan.
“Fuck, you know I love when you do that.” Frank murmured, moving his head slightly to the side to allow better access to his neck. Gerard hummed against his skin and started lightly sucking a mark into the flesh.
“Wanna make you mine Frankie.” Gerard whispered into his skin.
“Yes, baby…” Frank answered. He put his right arm under Gerard’s legs and his left carefully under his neck. He lifted him up in his arms and started carrying him to the bedroom. Gerard had lost 20 or so pounds during the time he was in the hospital. He was easy to carry, and it made Frank’s heart hurt a little bit, but right now he was too occupied to think about it.
“Frankie, your arm…”
“It feels fine, Gee. Promise.” Frank winked at him.
Frank lovingly carried Gerard down the hall and into the bedroom. He lay Gerard down on the bed, him following in top. He replaced his lips on his boyfriends, kissing and biting at his full bottom lip. Frank could feel Gerard’s hands slide down his sides, up under his shirt. His fingers were tracing the lines of the swallows on his hips purely from recollection. The thought that Gerard had the vision of frank’s body burned into memory only turned him on farther. He detached his mouth from Gerard’s and ripped his shirt over his head before going back down to lick Gerard’s neck. Gerard made a humming sound underneath him as his fingers thumbed at Frank’s belt. Gerard was trying to undo the buckle but his brain was short-circuiting. His consciousness was offline and he had no control over his movements. He heard Frank giggle in his mouth after the fifth minute of fiddling with Frank’s pants and he pulled his hands away, instead letting them rest gently on the younger man’s hips.
Frank stood up from the place he was resting on Gerard’s torso, undoing the belt himself and gesturing a “come here” motion for Gerard to follow. He obliged eagerly, now sitting at the edge of the bed and licking his lips while watching Frank unbutton his jeans.
“Shirt off.” Frank said, commanding. Gerard complied with his request, discarding his shirt on the floor. He was pale and glowing and so fucking beautiful in the dim lighting. Frank stepped out of his jeans and discarded them as well, taking a step towards Gerard, standing over him – hard cock only centimeters from his boyfriend’s mouth. He cupped his chin and looked down at Gerard who was staring up at him with submissive eyes.
“Kneel.” Franks said shortly, and almost before he had uttered the word, Gerard’s knees dropped to the floor. Frank tried to suppress a giggle at Gerard’s willingness, but his pink lips were so fucking close to his dick that he couldn’t help but thumb at his bottom lip, signaling Gerard to open without another word.
Frank pushed the tip of his cock onto Gerard’s already wet lips and felt him open up. He flung his head back, trying to keep his balance when he felt the heat of Gerard’s mouth blanket him. Gerard started slowly, licking up and down the shaft before taking Frank’s entire throbbing cock into his mouth, nose buried against Frank’s pelvis.
“Fuck. Like you were made to suck my cock.” Frank mumbled. His legs were buckling underneath him, and all he wanted to do was drop to the floor and let Gerard suck him off, but the sight below him was too much to give in. Gerard’s lips sliding over him, his eyes glancing from watching Frank move in and out and back up to Frank’s face, his expression lustful and obedient, his hand palming at his hard cock through his jeans. Frank couldn’t help himself as he started to thrust into Gerard’s mouth, hearing him gag slightly. His motions became involuntary, demanding to fuck Gerard into submission without hesitation.
“Gonna fuck your mouth, baby.” He uttered, seeking permission from Gerard before continuing. He felt Gerard moan around his cock and that was all the reaction he needed to start pounding into the back of Gerard’s throat. He gagged at first, but quickly relaxed his muscles and allowed Frank’s cock choke him. He breathed through his nose periodically, enjoying the feeling of being fucked like this by Frank, and of being deprived of air. Frank was thrusting erratically now, nearly shaking and Gerard knew he was about to cum. He grabbed Frank’s ass, pulling him into his throat as far as he could go, holding his breath and letting Frank jut against him. He came down his throat hot and heavy with a grunt, hips still vibrating against his face. Gerard swallowed around him, taking in every last taste before gently pulling off of Frank.
Frank tangled his fingers in Gerard’s hair, gently at first, petting him for a job well done before he took a forceful handful of hair, guiding Gerard back up to his feet. He clashed his mouth with Gerard’s, tasting his cum on his lips. He pulled away, pushing Gerard back down in a laying position on the bed. He climbed on top of him, pulling Gerard’s unbuttoned pants and boxers down in one swift motion. “Hands above your head.” He said, looking at Gerard in the eye with a dominant expression. Gerard couldn’t get his hands above his head fast enough.
Frank teased Gerard’s cock, barely licking the shaft and breathing over it playfully. He felt Gerard shudder underneath him as he clothed hot breath over his skin.
“Fuck, Frankie, please…” He begged. “Frank shot his eyes up from Gerard’s crotch to his face, a silent communication making Gerard know to obey instantly. Gerard bit his lip for want to say anything farther, and Frank returned to Gerard’s cock. He took the head into his mouth painfully slowly, adding no pressure whatsoever, just grazing over it with his lips. Gerard had to sustain the groan building in his throat to beg Frank to just suck him. Frank moved his hand up to Gerard’s mouth, while placing the other firmly on Gerard’s hip to keep him still.
“Suck.” Frank uttered, shoving two fingers in Gerard’s compliant mouth. He swirled his tongue around Frank’s tattooed fingers, sucking lightly and scraping his teeth softly. He felt Frank start to take his cock in his mouth farther, now barely sucking the shaft in. Gerard lost his focus for a moment and stopped sucking on Frank’s fingers, earning him a harder grip from Frank on his hip and a gentle shove from the fingers in his mouth.
He sucked diligently, trying to focus on the sensations. He had gotten a good rhythm going when Frank removed the hand from Gerard’s mouth, making him whine at the loss. The whine was quickly replaced by a moan as Frank slipped his wet fingers underneath Gerard’s hips and fingered at his entrance. Gerard lifted his hips slightly to allow Frank to enter him deeper, making Frank push his hips back down with the other hand. Frank slowly pushed both fingers in, not giving Gerard time to get accustomed to the intrusion of one finger. He wanted to feel Gerard stretch around him as he sucked him off.
Gerard cried out when he felt Frank’s fingers graze his prostate. He tried to buck his hips, but Frank’s grip was too firm. Frank started fingering up faster, brushing his prostate with every stroke. He sucked faster, harder, relishing in the feeling of Gerard coming apart beneath him. His hands were still above his head, fingers tangling in one another, trying to keep his composure. His legs were shaking slightly and Frank knew he was close. With one last thrust of his fingers, Gerard was cumming into Frank’s mouth. Frank pulled back, allowing some of the cum to drip down Gerard’s cock.
“Look at me.” He said, cum still dripping from his mouth. Gerard placed glassy eyes on Frank as he watched him gaze back at him. Not breaking his stare, Frank licked the cum off of Gerard’s cock, licking his lips to get every last bit. Gerard moaned when Frank was done, replaying the sight of Frank licking the cum off of him when he felt the bed shift with Frank’s weight gone.
Frank returned and cleaned them both up, lying next to Gerard, hot and sweaty on top of the covers.
“Fuck, Gee….” Frank panted. Gerard just nodded, still in a state of haziness and afterglow, unable to speak. Frank wrapped his arm around a breathless Gerard and closed his eyes.
Frank woke up at about 3AM, with Gerard enveloped tightly around him. He smiled to himself and pulled the blanket out from underneath them, wrapping it around their bodies. He nuzzled into Gerard’s side and breathed him in. He still smelled like sex and faintly like cigarettes. He was perfect and he loved him.

The next morning Gerard woke up around 10:30AM, it was a Saturday and he set out to make Frank some breakfast. He had the day off from the record store, and was playing a show that night – the first one in almost two months. He wanted Frank to be rested and ready for his performance, feeling guilty that he had needed to cancel so many on his behalf.
He pulled out the flour, the soy milk, the oil, the margarine and the sugar. He had found some really simple vegetarian recipes online that he wanted to test out for Frank, and waffles was one of them. He began mixing the ingredients, mindlessly stirring and basking in the glow of the morning after when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.
“What time is Frank’s show tonight?” It was Lindsey.
“9. :)” He replied in between mixing.
“I’ll be there with Brent!” Lindsey texted back.
“Really? Frank will be so excited!” Frank had gotten closer to Lindsey during Gerard’s hospital stay, and he was happy for it. His best friend and his boyfriend were getting a long well, and it made him smile to know she was supporting their relationship – not that he doubted she would.
“Yup. See you there?” She replied.
“Definitely.”
Gerard poured a spoonful of the waffle mix into the heated form. He closed the top and wiped his hands on the sweatpants of Frank’s he stole from his dresser a few nights before. They were reaching the point in their relationship where clothes became shared, and homes became one another’s. There was rarely a night that they didn’t spend together, either at Frank or Gerard’s apartment, depending on who needed to be where and when the next day. Frank’s apartment happened to be closer to Gerard’s work, so often times the weekday’s were spent sleeping over at his house, and the weekend’s at Gerard’s.
Gerard made his way to the front door, seeking to busy himself while the waffles were cooking. He opened the door and stuck his hand in the mailbox perched on the brick wall next to it, pulling out the letters and quickly closing it before too much cool air was filtered inside. He set the mail down on the counter as he pulled the cooked waffle from the pan and filled it with another spoonful of batter.
Junk, Bill, Bill, Letter. Gerard picked through the mail, taking the letter aside. This must be the one that his mom told him she had forwarded. It had his name on the front and his childhood address in scratchy handwriting that seemed vaguely familiar. She was right – there was no return address. It was a white envelope, the plain kind you can buy boxes of 100 of for $5 from CVS, and it was thin, nearly see through. This definitely wasn’t a card from a long lost aunt. He turned back to the stove momentarily and pulled out the cooked waffle, replacing it with more batter. He leaned against the counter and ripped open the envelope. It was white notebook paper, handwritten words in pencil. Gerard scanned the page, eyes darting from the top to the bottom.
“No. No. No.” He thought. He tried to calm himself enough to read the page.


G,
Miss you. Lawyer says it was self-defense, Frank came after me.
We’ll be together soon. I love you so much.
No one comes to visit me.
Visit me soon?
I love you.

- B

Gerard could smell the waffle burning and see the smoke coming from the pan, but he was frozen solid yet again. His heart was in his throat, he wanted to be sick. He was snapped out of his trance when he felt his teeth clench together, his jaw nearly cracking at the pressure. He wasn’t scared this time, he was mad. He was downright furious. How dare he say it was self-defense, how fucking dare he try and maneuver his way into Gerard’s life again with lies.
Before he knew it his fist had plummeted into the drywall next to the kitchen doorway.
“MOTHERFUCKER!” He screamed, clutching his fist in his other hand and staring at the now gaping hole in the wall that he would have to explain to his landlord. Frank came running, groggily, out of the room, eyes glassy but expression alarmed.
“Gee?” He asked staring at his red faced boyfriend, voice raspy and tired. “What’s wrong?” He sniffed the air around him. “Is something burning?”

Notes