The Sharpest Lives

Gerard’s mom was ecstatic when he told her he was coming to visit. Gerard, Mikey and Frank decided on the week of February 18th, just shortly after Gerard’s revelation with his therapist. It was soon, but he was afraid if he waited too long he would change his mind. Frank was able to get off of work for the week, and he fortunately only had to reschedule one show. Gerard had an overabundance of paid time off he hadn’t used and his boss was more than happy to get him out of the office for a little while. Gerard could be a little bit of a perfectionist when it came to his job, and although it made for some excellent work, it could sometimes become a little overbearing. Gerard needed a break, and his boss was the first to agree.
On the morning of the trip, Gerard was a nervous wreck. Frank had to pack for him as he paced the apartment. Frank’s chest hurt watching him so worked up over going home. He guessed it wasn’t home anymore after Bert, and that hurt him, too. He still considered New Jersey home, although Gerard’s presence in New York was changing his views somewhat. He had mulled over the notion of when he would finally let it slip – the L word – Frank knew he loved Gerard, he just didn’t know how to say it. When it finally came out, he was surprised as Gerard was, but he didn’t regret it for a second.
“Gee, baby, please calm down.” Frank said, looking up at him from his spot on the floor where he was folding Gerard’s clothes to pack into the suitcase. “I packed your medicine, OK?”
“I can’t, Frankie. This is a bad idea. I can’t do this.” He paced back and forth, chewing on his fingers.
“Come here.” Frank stood up and motioned for him. Gerard let himself slow, and walked into Frank’s arms. “Shhh, it’s OK. I’m with you. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“I know.” Gerard took a deep breath. In, and out…in, and out. Just like Dr. Foster said. He could do this, Frank was with him. In, and out….in, and out.
“Gee, look at me.” Frank cupped his face in his hands. This was a good a time as any. Gerard needed to hear this. He needed Gerard to know that he loved him and he would keep him protected. “I love you, Gee. I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you so much.” Frank stared him in the eye, trying to read his expression. Gerard sobbed.
“I love you too, Frankie. Fuck, I love you so much. You have no idea how long I have wanted to say that.” He buried his head in Frank’s neck and let out a silent cry, the tension melting away from his body. He was safe with Frank. Nothing could hurt him.
“Me too.” Frank wiped as his eyes from the tears that had started to pool there.
They held each other tight for a moment before Gerard pulled away.
“Ok…I’m ready.” He smiled at Frank. Frank nodded back. He closed the suitcase and pulled it through the door. Mikey was already in the living room, waiting for them.
“I’d like to get there sometime this year.” Mikey rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. We’re going.” Gerard answered mockingly.
The boys loaded Frank’s car with their belongings. Frank was driving, Gerard in the passenger seat. He took a deep breath before getting in the car. There was no turning back now, he was really going back home. Frank grasped his hand and held it tightly as he put the car in drive. It was a silent reminder that he was safe, Frank would protect him.

The drive was entirely too short for Gerard. Three hours was not nearly long enough for him to prepare himself. For Frank and Mikey, though, it was much too long. They were both tired and their back’s ached. They were both relieved when they pulled up to the house.
“Fucking finally.” Mikey yawned as they pulled into his mother’s driveway. He got out of the car and started to unload the trunk as soon as they parked.
Frank grabbed Gerard’s hand in his, squeezing.
“You ok?” He asked.
“I will be. “ Gerard said.
“My babies!!” His mother screamed, running from the door. She pulled Mikey in to a tight hug. Gerard slowly opened his door and got out of the car. As soon as his mother saw him, she let go of Mikey and made a b-line straight for him.
“Gerard!” She grabbed him and held him tight. “Look at you! You look so grown up! Your hair is so long!” Gerard still hadn’t cut his hair since he met frank. It was just passed his chin now, and it had annoyed him at first. He hated when it got in his face and in his mouth, but Frank liked having something to pull on, and Gerard could deal with it as long as Frank kept pulling.
“Hi mom.” He said smiling into her shoulder as she hugged him. “You’re squeezing me to death, mom.”
“Sorry, sorry.” She said letting go of him. “This must be Frank!” She made her way to him. He stretched out his arm to shake her hand. She bypassed it completely and drew him into a hug.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Way.” Frank said, laughing, when she let go of him.
“Everyone just calls me mom. All of the boy’s friends would call me mom when they were kids, it was so cute.” She giggled.
“Mooom!” Gerard drawled, embarrassed.
“I’ve heard so much about you, Frank.” She motioned for them to get inside. “Let’s go inside where it’s warm.” Gerard blushed, looking over at Frank who still had his mother’s arm around his shoulders.
“Thanks for the help, guys!” Mikey yelled, dragging three suitcases behind him.
“You’re welcome!” Gerard replied, sarcastically, as he walked into the house, following Frank and his mom closely.

Gerard sat close to Frank the whole night, catching quick glances at him as him and his mother chatted about his life. He loved that they seemed to be getting along so well. She asked Frank about his work, and about his band. She asked about his family and his likes and dislikes. Frank answered them all, happy to indulge her questions, knowing Gerard’s past boyfriends likely had not.
“He’s a keeper, Gerard.” She whispered to him as he passed her in the kitchen when Frank wasn’t listening. He just blushed.
She had made them a big dinner like she used to on Sunday’s when they were kids. She made turkey and homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, and a salad.
“Frank, honey, I left butter out of the potatoes and used soy milk. I made the stuffing separately, too, and I didn’t put dressing on the salad. I’m sorry I hope that’s enough for you to eat.” She said.
“Absolutely, thank you.” Frank said with a smile, he was flattered that Gerard had thought to mention his eating habits to his mom, and even more flattered that she remembered.
Frank watched the brother’s stuff themselves full, both retiring to the couch after dinner. They put on a movie Frank had never seen and sat silently, just enjoying one another’s company. It was around 10:30 at night when Mikey got up and grabbed his phone and wallet.
“I’m heading out. Jack is gonna pick me up, don’t wait up.” He said, putting on his coat.
“And where are you going, Michael?” His mother demanded.
“Just catching up with old friends, you know. Probably to a bar or something, I don’t know.” He said, rolling his eyes.
“Be safe, Mikey.” She said, getting up and planting a kiss to his cheek.
“Later.” He waved to Gerard and Frank.

“Hey man, long time no see!” Jack said when Mikey got in the car.
“Tell me about it.” He said while buckling himself in.
Jack drove them to a seedy bar they used to frequent when they were teenagers. They never carded them, and so they kept going, despite the fact that it was a run-down shack where all the less than desirables hung out. Mikey and all his friends were well over 21 now, but there was something about the nostalgia that kept them coming back.
Mikey quickly spotted his friends and made his way over.
“Mikey!” They all seemed to shout in unison.
“You haven’t changed at all, you little shit.” Ryan said, shoving a beer in Mikey’s hand.
Mikey rolled his eyes. They talked, laughed, reminisced - until about midnight when a familiar sordid shadow sulked in. It had long, greasy black hair. He looked like he hadn’t showered for days, and had a cigarette pursed in its lips. Mikey felt a cold chill run down his spine, he would know that slimy figure anywhere.
“Fuck, I have to go.” Mikey said, grabbing for his coat.
“You just fucking got here, man, what the hell?” Jack said.
“I know, I’m sorry. Fuck. I’ll text you tomorrow, we can go out again. I just have to go now.” Mikey grabbed his jacket and headed quickly for the door. He didn’t look to see where the shadow had gone, but he knew it was around. He needed to get the fuck out, now, before it spotted him. Mikey could feel his heart beating practically out of his chest. His feet moved in autopilot, rushing himself out the door.
He made it about four feet from the door when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was strong and gripping. He could smell cigarette smoke and day old clothes behind him.
“What? Can’t say hi to me?” It spoke to him.
“Fuck off, Bert.” Mikey snapped.
“That’s no way to treat a friend, Mikes.” Bert stepped around Mikey, now standing in front of him, smirking, Cigarette hanging from his mouth. He made Mikey nauseas. He looked mostly the same, only now he had some seriously unkempt facial hair growth.
“You’re not my friend.” Mikey said, trying to walk around Bert.
“Ah, ah. I didn’t say you could go.” Bert put both his hands on Mikey’s shoulders, pushing him backwards. Mikey wasn’t scared of Bert, but he was scared of how Bert could manipulate Gerard if he ever found him.
“I told you last time, Bert, I’m not telling you where Gerard is, now fuck off.” Mikey spat.
“I don’t need you to tell me where he is, shithead. I’ll find him myself if I want him.” Bert now had Mikey backed up against the wall of the building.
Mikey wasn’t cracking, though; he was staring Bert straight in the eye, trying to convey his seriousness, but inside Mikey was scared. Bert was unpredictable, and although he would never tell Gerard, he had done this before. When Mikey would visit he would try his hardest to avoid him, but he was always lurking around every corner like a lost puppy. And every time, Bert would question him, threaten him, try to scare him. It was always in the company of other people, though, and Mikey knew he was safe. This time was different somehow, Bert looked worse – like he hadn’t slept in years. He was alone, and Bert had a look in his eyes that said he was going to do whatever he had to to get to Gerard this time.
“He doesn’t want you Bert, he’s moved on.” Mikey said through gritted teeth.
“Yeah? We’ll see. He’ll always come running back to me like the dirty faggot he is.” Bert spit in his face.
That’s when Mikey snapped, he didn’t know where the strength came from, but he cocked his fist and hit Bert right in the nose. He stumbled back, and put a hand up to his now bleeding face.
“You’re going to regret that, Mikey.” Bert smirked at him and plowed his fist into Mikey’s face. Mikey fell to the ground, still up against the building. Bert kicked him in his ribs, earning a whine from Mikey as he fell on his side. “Where is he, Mikey?!” He yelled.
Mikey was silent, he wouldn’t tell him. Bert kicked him again in his now bruised ribs.
“Tell me!” He screamed. Mikey sobbed, spitting blood from his mouth as he did. Bert pulled him up by his hair and looked him straight in the eye. He pulled something out of the waistband of his pants; Mikey felt the barrel of a hand gun move up his chest slowly, and rest on his collarbone, pointing at his face.
“Fucking tell me where he is, Way, and I won’t kill you.” Bert whispered in his ear.
“Fuck you.” Mikey snapped back, earning another blow to the face from Bert. He fell back to the ground and Bert pressed the barrel of the gun to his temple.
“Is he home?!” Bert yelled. “He’s fucking home, isn’t he?”
Mikey remained silent. The last time he visited, Bert had cornered him in a bar and asked the same questions. There were too many people around, and he never dared to hit him with his friends there. Mikey had told him he was in New York and that he would never find him. Now that he was fighting back so much, taking Bert’s beating and still not giving up any information, that was all the confirmation Bert needed to know that Gerard was in the area. Mikey was trying to protect him, and he did a shitty job of doing it in Bert’s opinion.
Bert smiled before spitting on his aching form, and walked away, pocketing the gun again.
Mikey laid still on the cold ground for a few minutes before getting out his phone. Fuck, he can’t call Gerard, he’d freak out. He quickly dialed his mom’s number, hoping she wasn’t in bed.
“Mikey? Everything OK?” She answered.
“Yeah, can you get Frank? Don’t let Gerard know it’s me calling.” Mikey said, now sitting up against the wall. He wiped some of the blood from his mouth.
“What? Are you ok? What’s going on?” She asked, nervously.
“Yes, please, just get Frank.” He said a little too angrily.
“Frank? Can you join me in the kitchen for a minute?”
Frank nodded and got up from the couch where Gerard was starting to doze off.
“Phone for you, it’s Mikey. I don’t know what’s wrong…” She said, Frank could tell she was scared.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Frank. You need to get Gerard out of there. Bert found me; I think he’s coming there now.”
“What?!” Frank nearly yelled. “What the fuck?”
“Just get him out of there. He’s got a fucking gun, Frank. He’s serious.” Mikey said.
“Are you OK? What happened?” Frank asked, worried.
“I’ll be fine. Just get the fuck out Frank.” Mikey hung up the phone and tried to stand. He couldn’t, his ribs were in too much pain. He texted Jack who was still in the bar with his friends.
“Help. Out front.”
Jack walked out, looking around nervously when he spotted Mikey on the ground, bleeding and hunched over in pain.
“What the fuck happened, man?” He screeched, leaning down towards him.
“It’s a long fucking story. Can you just help me get the hell out of here?” Mikey said, sighing.
“Of course.” Jack put his arms around Mikey and lifted him up, helping to walk him to the car.

Frank set the phone down and swallowed hard.
“Well? Is he OK?” Gerard’s mother asked, chewing on her fingers just like Gerard did when he was nervous.
“I think so. I need to get Gerard out of here. Bert saw Mikey, and he thinks maybe he is coming here.” Frank said, starting to walk out of the kitchen.
“Bert? His ex-boyfriend? Does Gerard not want to see him?” She questioned.
Frank didn’t realize that Gerard hadn’t made her aware of the situation. It hurt his heard, and he didn’t have time to explain, he just walked out of the kitchen fast.
“Gerard.” Frank said, shaking his boyfriend awake.
“Frankie? What’s up?” He asked sleepily.
“Come on, Gee. We need to get out of here.” Frank said, pulling Gerard up off the couch.
“What are you talking about Frank?” He asked, wiping at his eyes.
“Gerard, listen to me. We have to go, now.” He grabbed Gerard’s hand and pulled him through the living room. He grabbed their coats and threw Gerard’s into his arms. He pocketed his keys and wallet and walked towards the door.
Gerard’s mom just watched, worriedly. She always had an inclination about Bert being dangerous, but she didn’t know just how much damage he could cause. She was scared now, for her son and for Frank.
Gerard didn’t have a chance to say anything to his mom before they were out the door. As they rushed to the car, Gerard grabbed Frank’s arm, yanking him backwards.
“What is going on, Frank?!” He yelled.
“Please, Gee, just trust me. Please. We have to go.” He tried to pull away to get them into the car and safe, but Gerard planted his feet still.
“Frank! Tell me what is going on.” Gerard said sternly.
As Gerard looked at Frank for an answer, a car screeched down the road stopped in front of the Way household.
“Fuck!” Frank yelled, pulling at Gerard, trying to get him to move towards the car.
The shadowy figure jumped from the driver’s seat and nearly ran towards them. Gerard was turned into stone. His heart was beating through his chest, his stomach in his throat. He couldn’t move his feet. He was positive he was going to pass out. It was Bert. It was fucking Bert, he found him and he was going to kill him.
“Gerard!” Frank yelled, trying to get him to move from where he was standing in the driveway.
Bert wasted no time in pushing Frank out of the way with a punch to the face. Gerard was too stunned to do anything but watch as Frank stumbled backwards.
“Miss me?” Bert asked with a smirk, and grabbed Gerard’s hand.

Notes

I'm so sorry.