I'll let you go

Chapter 8
Frank’s p.o.v

I wake up tangled in the sheets with sweat covering my body. I’m gasping for air as I realise Gerard is awake and staring at me worriedly. I forgot he stayed the night. I feel a lump form in my throat as try to get out of the sheets.
“Baby?! Are you okay?” He asks. I shake my head as the tears begin to fall. My hands shake so violently that I think it’s the room shaking, instead of my body. I leap up from the bed, rushing to Cherry’s room. Gerard follows, the whole time asking if I’m okay. I peer into Cherry’s room, seeing her fast asleep. I pause for a minute, waiting to see her chest move. When it does I breathe out a sigh of relief and finally tun to Gerard.
“She was dead! And you were so mad, and I was scared, and she was so bloody! I thought you hated me, it was my fault I killed her! She was dead! My baby was dead!” I sob, looking into his eyes as tears practically poured out of my eyes. I clutch his shirt roughly, but keep my body apart from his.
“Baby, stop, shush, she’s fine. I could never, ever hate you. Were all fine.” He responds, trying to calm me. I shake my head and grab him tightly. He holds me close to his chest, shushing me as i sob.
“Do you wanna go get into the bath, baby?” He asks, kissing my head. I nod into his shoulder. He pulls away and leads me to the bathroom, turning on the bath.
“I”ll be right back sugar.” He says, sitting me on the edge of the bath. I nod, trying hard to stop crying. I begin to take my clothes off as he leaves, willing myself to stop shaking. He comes back with towels and pjs, and begins to undress too. He pugs the bathroom drain and fills with soap to make bubbles. He gets in and holds his arms out to me.
I get in and lay on hi,, my chest to his.
“Gee?” I cry, willing myself to calm down.
“Yes, abby?” He asks softly, dipping his fingers into the water and raking them through my hair.
“Please sing.” I whisper. He nods, but is quiet for a moment.
“.....Some people watch
Some people pray
But even lights can fade away.
Some people hope
Some people pay
But why'd we have to stay?
'Cause even heroes
Get the blues
Or any misery you choose
You like to watch
We like to use
And we were born to lose
I choose defeat
I walk away

I listen as his voice becomes more confident, enjoying the rawness of his voice. I’ve stopped crying by now, calmed by his beautiful voice.

And leave this place
The same today
Some like to sleep
We like to play
Just look at all that pain
You want the heart
All to be saved
But even good guys
Still get paid
So watch my back
And keep the blade
I think it got you laid
So fake your death
Or it's your blame
And leave the lights on
When you stay
Take off your clothes
And dream that fame
Come on and feel that shame
I choose defeat
I walk away
And leave this place
The same today
Some like to sleep
We like to play
Just look at all that pain
Just look at all that pain [3x]
Just give me all that pain [3x]
I choose defeat
I walk away
And leave this place
The same today
Some like to sleep
We like to play
Just look at all that pain.”
We sit in silence for a minute, listening to each others breathing.
“I love you.” I say suddenly, causing him to make an inhuman noise.
“I never stopped loving you, sugar.” He answers, kissing my head.
We may have been naked in that bathtub, but there was nothing sexual about it. It was loving and sweet, and it made me so fucking happy that we could be mature about being fucking naked and not getting erections, because a lot of people can’t.
I was so glad we had matured, because we could have a better relationship, and I knew taking off won’t help.
*
*
*
“My love…” I hear a soft voice call from behind me. I was in the living room drinking my coffee as I watched the news. I turn around on the couch, seeing Gerard in the hallway.
“Morning babe.” I say, smiling at him. He smiles back, and crosses the room to sit with me.
“You wanna tell me about that dream?” He asks. I hesitate.
“.....Me and Cherry were driving. She was singing, and she asked for her book. No one else was on the road, so I tried to get it for her. We crashed and the car flipped, and It was so hard for me to move, but I got out of the car and made it to her, but she was….dead. Then you were there with the paramedics, and you were yelling at me, and you were so mad.” I explain, feeling a lump in my throat. He rubs my arms soothingly, as I talk, calming me down a bit.
“I...I have night mares like that too. My doctor said it’s ptsd from Bert.” He says, smiling softly at me. I nod and hg him tightly, sighing contently when I’m in his arms.
“I love you.” I tell him, kissing his cheek.
“I love you too, sugar.” He says, a smile in his voice.
“Daddy!” I hear a small voice yell. Cherry comes running down the hallway, a smile on her face.
“Morning baby doll!” I say happily, getting up and walking over to her. I bend over and pick her up, making her squeal with delight.
“Want some cereal?” I asks her, smiling down at her small face. She nods, and beams back at me. I walk to the kitchen, Gerard in tow. I set Cherry in a chair, and eat the stuff to make cereal out. Gerard sits with Cherry at the table, chatting with her as I put her bowl of cereal, setting it in front of her when I'm done.
I sit in Gee’s lap, giggling when he whines because of my weight on him.
“Am I too heavy for you baby?” I ask sweetly, beginning to get up.
“Nope. You're perfect.” He says, grabbing my hips and sitting me back down on his lap.
“Someday I want to love some body as much as you two do.” Cherry states, smiling up at us. I smile back her, melting from her cuteness.
“One day you will. You’ll have to work for them, though. No one whose worth it will be easy to get.” Gerard tells her, smiling.
Holy fuckin fuck I love his smile. Before I realise what I’m doing, I kiss him really, really hard and grip his thighs.
“Y’know we haven’t had sex in, like, four years.” I whisper in his ear. His eyes bulge slightly but I can tell he’s a little turned on.
“Cherry, do you wanna visit uncle Mikey today?” He asks, smiling sweetly at her.
“Yes!” She says through her mouth full of cereal. I look confusedly at him, but he just winks.
“I’ll call Mikey then.” He says, gently pushing me off his lap to get his phone. I look at Cherry loving as she eats, smiling to myself.
“I love you Cherry.” I say, making her look up.
“I love you too, daddy.” She says, smiling at me. I lean over the table and kiss her head, making her smile more.
“Mikey’ll be here in ten! Go get ready Cherry!” Gerard says, returning to the room. Cherry squeals and gets up from her seat, running to her room.
“Why is she going to Mikey’s?” I ask Gerard, my voice confused. I get Cherry’s bowl and rinse it in the sink as I wait for a response. When I don’t get one I turn to face him. He just raises his eyebrows at me, with a ‘duh’ look on his face. I slowly come to realisation, and almost choke on the fucking air.
“Oh...oh…” I say, smiling a little bit. I kiss him a little too sexually, considering my daughter is in the next room, and grab his cigarettes and lighter from his pocket.
“Wanna smoke with me babe?” I ask sweetly. He grins and nods, following me to the porch. I sit on the teps, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. I hand the light and cigarettes to Gerard, placing my cigarette in between my lips and inhaling deeply. I hold it for a minute before letting the smoke escape my lungs.
I watch as the smoke twists and twirls in the air and eventually disappearing. I look at at Gee in time to see him take a puff from his cigarette.
He hollows out his cheeks as he smokes, reminding me of a girl smoking.
“You smoke like a chick.” I giggle, making him wrinle his nose and nod.
“I dress like one to. But only during kinky sex.” He says bluntly, making me gasp and giggle.
“I really want to put my dick inside you right now.” I answer, smiling at him. He moans and sets his hands on my thighs, rubbing them lightly.
“I want your dick inside me so bad, Frankie. But I don;t wanna fuck, I wanna make love.” He says, smiling at me. I feel a lurch of affection in the bottom of my stomach.
“I cant wait body. I can’t wait to hear you moan, and sweat, and yell my name.” I respond as his hands get closer to my inner thigh.
Then, before I can do anything else, Mikey pulls up with Ray. They exit the car with smiles on their faces.
“Where’s my beautiful niece?” Mikey asks, smiling even bigger.
“Niece? Geez, slow down, the wedding isn’t till next month.” I say playfully, getting up and hugging both Ray and Mikey. Mikey laughs at my small joke, as I lead them inside. Cherry sits on the couch, all dressed and ready to go, with a backpack beside her.
“Hi beautiful!” Mikey shouts running up to Cherry and picking her up. She beams and him and hugs him tightly.
“Hey uncle Mikey! Hey uncle Fro’!” she says, making me laugh. Ray goes over to hug her too.
“Ready to go kid?” Mikey asks, setting her down.
“Yep!” She says walking to the door. I smile as we all walk outside into the warm beam of the sun.
“Love you Cherry, I’ll see you later, baby doll.” I say, kissing the top of her head.
“Love you too dad! Love you Gee! Bye!” She shouts, running to the car. Gerard looks shocked, but happy.
“I love you too!” He shouts, smiling. Tears spring into his eyes, but happy tears. They begin to drive away, Cherry waving from the back seat.
When I know they’re out of view, I turn around and slam Gerard into the wall, kissing him roughly.
“I need you baby.” He whines, pulling from my lips. I tug him inside, rushing him to the room.
He rushes to take his clothes off, but I slow him.
“Baby, it’s our first time in four years. Go slow.” I say. Smiling softly at him.
“Sorry aby. Just want you so bad.” He says, smiling sheepishly.
“If it’s too fast it’s not making love.” I point out, smiling. He nods, smiling a little.
“I love you so fcking much.” He stares, missing my oftly. I grin cheekily at him, my eyes playful.
“Prove it.”

Notes

I shaved the sides of my head, so now I have a death hawk like Frankie had. lol.
xoxMay<3