It's Only Just A Dream

Teachers, Gerard decided, were not so bad in reality. Everyone had this skewed, opinionated impression of how teachers acted and what they were supposed to do so that, when they met a genuinely nice person who just happened to be a teacher, they were obviously trying to be the "cool teacher". They couldn't genuinely be a cool person, oh no. They had to be pretending to be nice for their own benefit, so children would work harder in their lesson or respect them more or whatever fucked up reasoning went on inside teacher's heads.

This pissed Gerard off a little, and as he sat in his third art class of the week, silently stewing in frustration, he took out his anger on the blank page in front of him. He drew harsh black lines across the page with a blunt charcoal pencil, surprised when it turned into something half decent: a rough sketch of a woman with her hair blown across her face and her arm outstretched as if she was trying to reach something. Gerard didn't know what it was.

Maybe he was so angry because it was the end of his first week of high school and he still hadn't made any friends, or maybe it was because he was genuinely angered at the bad treatment of teachers in his high school, but either way he felt sorry for Mr Reed as the man struggled to control his fourth period art class.

Gerard hadn't opted to sit at the back of the class - he would much rather have sat at the front, closer to the teacher where he was less likely to get harassed - but Mr Reed had taken one look at the short, frightened boy and deemed him not a trouble maker and therefore safe to sit almost alone at the back of the classroom. That was the one thing Gerard was irritated at the man for, but it was hardly a real reason and so, he decided, Mr Reed was his favourite teacher.

It wasn't just because the man smiled at Gerard when he first walked in, or that he didn't force anyone to introduce themselves to the class like everyone else seemed to want to do, or because he let them listen to music - as long as they were doing their work, that is. Gerard liked him because he seemed like a real' nice teacher' instead of just pretending to be one. No one else seemed to think that though, and that was made apparent as Gerard sat in his place at the back of the classroom on Friday for his third art class of the week, watching poor Mr Reed as he gave up and flopped back on his chair behind the desk.

"Just please try to keep the noise levels down?" He bargained hopefully. "I don't want another complaint from Mr Barton's music class."

Gerard sighed and got up, picking up his sketchbook with both hands and holding it close to his chest as he picked his way through the screaming, laughing students that crowded around the front few rows - where the popular kids were sitting.

When Gerard walked into the art class for the first time, a good five minutes late and probably looking embarrassingly hot and sweaty because he had had to run to get there on time, he had expected immediate ridicule and snide comments about his appearance or his out-of-style clothing, but no such thing had happened. The other kids didn't talk to him exactly; they talked about him, watching him out of the corner of their eyes and looking away sharply when he met their gaze, but other than that they treated him with a grudging respect, scared to badmouth him and scared to befriend him.

They were afraid of Mikey, afraid of being his new target or attracting any unwanted attention from the gang, and by default they were afraid of Gerard. He had connotations with both gangs, not quite in Mikey's and not quite an enemy of Frank's, but either way he was connected to both of them and no one wanted to risk getting close to him. He had the attention, but at the same time he had none.

Gerard would have preferred it if he had gone by unnoticed; he could deal with having no friends, having no one to sit with at lunch, if he didn't have the constant attention of seemingly everyone. Every once in a while, if he passed one of Mikey's friends, someone that Gerard had met before, they would nod at him or say "hi", maybe chat for a while about how he was "settling in" and to tell him which areas were not being watched by the intrusive security cameras - like Gerard would ever need that information. But it wasn't quite enough to give the illusion of friendship, of companionship.

Still, Gerard mused, what did it matter?

"Sir?" Gerard said meekly when he reached the front desk. Mr Reed, who had closed his eyes and his feet on the desk as he reclined in his chair, jumped at the sound of his name. His eyes flickered open and his features were set in an off-putting scowl like he was expecting his worst enemy to have strolled into his room and asked for him, but when he saw it was Gerard his expression softened and he smiled. Perhaps, Gerard pondered, he was Mr Reed's favourite student. He didn't see how he could have achieved that goal since he'd only seen the man three times and had barely spoken a word to him.

"Gerard. How can I help you?" He asked easily, swinging his legs so they were under the desk and leaning forward in his chair.

"Oh - well, I... um, I -" Gerard stammered stupidly and he felt his face grow red. He was sure he had had something to say when he started walking up here, but now there was a question directly addressed to him, he couldn't remember it for the life of him. He was just standing there, making a fool out of himself in front of his favourite teacher.

Mr Reed, however, seemed to sense the boy's discomfort as he smiled and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Don't worry about it; why don't you show me what you've been working on?" He held out his hand for Gerard's sketchbook and Gerard didn't hesitate to pass it over to him. He watched nervously as the man assessed his work, his eyebrows furrowed as he took in everything on the page.

Finally, he laid the book down on the desk in front of him and looked back up at Gerard intently.

"This is good, Gerard. Really good." He sounded so sincere and Gerard could help but feel a little bit proud. No one but his family had ever complimented his artwork, and he always doubted their sincerity since they were his family after all, and they couldn't exactly tell him his work was awful. Hearing someone else - someone unbiased as well! - tell him he was good at drawing made him feel like maybe he was good at it.

"Thank you," Gerard mumbled.

"I'm serious, Gerard. You're by far one of the best artists in your year, and perhaps even in the year above you." Mr Reed continued to praise him as he stood up and walked around the table to stand next to Gerard, both of them examining the sketchbook carefully.

"Thank you," Gerard mumbled.

It was silent between them for a little while - the volume in the classroom had reached a new roaring level and Gerard was beginning to get a heachache - before Mr Reed spoke again.

"Gerard," he began, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder that confused Gerard at first, but made sense when his teacher continued. "I couldn't help but notice you usually spend your lunchtimes alone. I know it isn't my place to say this, but if you ever want some place to go, my room is always available for you. You could work on your art projects or do homework or just… whatever. Whatever you need to do, my door is always open."

Gerard looked up at the taller man and was surprised to see he was staring right back down at him. He obviously expected an answer and Gerard blushed as he stuttered out a reply.

"Thank you, Sir," Gerard mumbled, forcing himself to keep eye contact with Mr Reed so he didn't look like weird or ungrateful. He was glad for the escape; he didn't no particularly like eating alone in the cafeteria, but it beat wandering around the school all on his own for half an hour. Ever since that first day where Mikey had explicitly told him he could not sit with his group, things had been prickly between the brothers. Gerard never said anything about it, nor did he act any differently, but he didn't appreciate being pushed away and made to be on his own and he knew Mikey knew that.

Mr Reed patted his shoulder and he brushed his hand down Gerard's arm as he pulled it away.
His hand was cold against Gerard's skin.

"That's alright Gerard. Now go pack up, the bell will ring soon and if you want you can go now. I don't think anyone else will hear the bell over all this noise." He chuckled humourlessly and gestured to the class, watching Gerard as he made his way back to his desk and packed up his belongings. The boy smiled back at his teacher friendlily before throwing his bag over his shoulder and leaving the class, unnoticed by his peers.

He would go to the cafeteria, but he wasn't hungry anymore.

***

While Gerard was paying for an overripe pear - his only excuse to remain in the cafeteria - Frank was sitting at his designated table with his gang, watching the boy. Ray was on his right and Bob was on his left, James behind him and Evan sitting next to James munching on a sandwich— which smelt terrible. God knows how he was enjoying that, but he was so Frank decided to leave him out of the conversation they were currently having.

"Think about it Frankie," Ray was saying, because Ray was the only person allowed to call Frank "Frankie", and that was only because he'd known him the longest. "You make friends with the kid, you can get into his house. You get into his house you can get into Mikey Way's room. You get into Mikey Way's room you can get his secrets or whatever he might be hiding in there, whatever he wouldn't want you to find, you can get it. Heck, if you sweet talk the kid enough he may even be able to give you the dirt on Way."

Frank groaned, knowing where the conversation was going and knowing he wasn't going to like it. Ray was going to ask Frank to make friends with Gee, and Frank didn't know if he wanted to do that. He didn't know where the twinge of guilt he'd felt earlier had come from or why it had come - he had hurt a lot of people in the past and he'd never felt guilty over it; not one single time - but he didn't like it. Since Gee was the one that had made him feel guilty, he figured all he had to do was stay away from the kid and the feeling would go away as well. It all seemed so simple… yet Ray's plan was a good one. He was pretty sure Mikey had recruited a new member for his gang during summer break and was therefore already one step ahead of
Frank's gang. They needed dirt on Mikey Way, and they needed it soon. If the kid was their route to success, Frank would have to put his petty worries behind him. For the greater good of the gang.

"Hell, the kid needs some friends. He'd appreciate you talking to him, I'm sure."

"Yeah," Frank scoffed. "When he realises I was only befriending him to get to his brother he'll be so appreciative."

"C'mon, Frankie!" Ray cajoled, beckoning Evan over even though he had to be as repulsed as Frank at the stench of Evan's sandwich. "If we don't pull one over on him soon then we may as well give up. Everything we've worked for, Frank - everything! And we'll have to give it all up just 'cause you didn't want to befriend one loser freshman. Do you want that, Frankie? Frank!"

"Yeah Frank," Evan joined in. "Do you want that?"

Frank sighed loudly but didn't reply otherwise. His eyes were on Gee, who had just entered the cafeteria through the double doors that came from the Dramatic Arts block - which encompassed music, art and drama classrooms simply because they were the classes that always got too noisy to be based anywhere else. Frank found himself wanting to know which lesson Gee had come from: he couldn't picture the kid as a drama kid; music maybe, but he didn't know what instrument he would play. He was probably an art student. Frank bet he would be good at art...

"You do realise he knows who I am, right? I mean, he's related to Mikey Way. He'll hate me. You seem to think he's gonna want to be best friends or something. "

Frank looked around at his group of friends, shaking his head in disbelief as they proceeded to stare at him blankly. He knew his gang, and he knew they would continue to do this until he gave in and change his mind.

"Look at it this way, Frank. You can either: a) go talk to the kid so that b) you can get dirt on Mikey Way and his gang and c) humiliate him in front of the entire school or d) humiliate him in front of his family, or you can e) genuinely get to know the kid and maybe make a new best friend because f) imagine how fucking awesome it would be if Mikey Way's kid brother joined Frank Iero's gang! Then Mikey Way would feel g) betrayed or h) nervous because i) we don't know how much the kid knows and j) none of us knows how willing the kid would be to spill his brother's secrets if you become his friend. Or if you feel too k) scared or l) doubtful of your own abilities we could just sit here and get m) absolutely nothing over on their gang because you were too fucking scared to talk to one pathetic freshman to n) save your gang, o) save your reputation and p) beat Mikey and his others. I hope you know that if that happens, you will q) no longer have my respect, r) no longer have the group's respect and s) no longer have the school's respect. You'll be treated like regular shit not only by t) the rest of the high school population but also u) by Mikey Way and his gang. Do you really want that Frank?"

"Couldn't you make it to 'z' you fucking quitter?" Evan scoffed from behind them, unhelpfully.

"Fine. Goddamn— fine. But when this all goes to shit, remember, I told you so."

Evan and Ray both watched, amused, as their friend and leader stomped over to Mikey Way's brother who was sitting alone at a table. A book was laid out on the table in front of him, in which he was completely engrossed, and a pear was abandoned to the left of the book. That was something Frank had noticed about him - not that he watched the kid, he had simply observed - he always bought food and never ate it. Frank wondered why.

"Hey," Frank said when he was close enough. Gerard didn't react; either he didn't realise he was being spoken to or he was too caught up in whatever he was reading to be aware of his surroundings. Frank cocked his head to the side to sneak a peek at the cover and was surprised - although he didn't know why - to see it was a Stephen King novel; one of his favourites in fact. The kid may have had the misfortune of being related to Mikey Way, but at least he had a good taste in books.

"I said, hey." Frank repeated, taking a step closer to Gee's table in the hopes that the boy would finally notice him. He did, thankfully, and Frank wasn't even slightly shocked that the first emotion to flicker across his face was fear. Frank had expected it, honestly, had warned Ray and Evan that the kid wasn't just going to open his arms and offer Frank a charm bracelet.

However, Frank didn't expect the boy to scowl at him almost immediately after cowering, and he couldn't help but notice how adorable he looked when he was trying to be aggressive. As it was, he was about as threatening as a sleepy puppy and he gave Frank the embarrassing urge to "aww" at him. Thoughts like that were dangerous when you were in Frank's position.

"What?" Gee asked accusingly, but the way his eyes darted back and forth from Frank to his table of friends - who were all watching them intently - showed how afraid he was; as if he actually thought Frank would beat him up in a room full of people. As if he thought Frank would beat him up at all.

"I'm Frank." Frank said, standing confidently in front of the younger boy. His hair was unkept and falling in his face - he made no move to push it away - and his eyes were wide with confusion and fear.

"I know." He replied.

Frank could feel the stares of his friends, expectant and eager for him to actually get on with it, but Frank really didn't know what he was supposed to be getting on with. He hadn't had to be nice to anyone, make friends with anyone, in such a long time. The closest anybody outside his gang got with him was a casual acquaintance and he wasn't used to acting friendly to get what he wanted. He usually just demanded and if that didn't work, threatened… but he knew he wouldn't be able to do that with Gee. Gee was clearly sensitive and bullying him into being friends wouldn't work. He'd have to go gentle in his approach.

But Frank didn't know how to do gentle.

"Can I sit here?" Frank asked, gesturing lazily to the seat opposite the one Gee was sitting in.

After watching the kid for four days now, he knew he wasn't waiting for anyone. Frank wasn't naïve, and he knew that wouldn't be the only reason Gee refused to let him sit there, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to do anything besides walk away if Frank did decide to sit next to him.

Gee's gaze followed Frank's arm to the chair, breathing steadily and evenly, and then back to the older boy's face. He looked cute, Frank noticed, but there was also a strange look in his eyes that Frank couldn't place.

"I can't really do anything to stop you." Gee shrugged, confirming what Frank had been thinking a minute ago, his voice never rising above a soft murmur. Frank smiled calmly before pulling the chair out and sitting down; he half expected Gee to go back to reading his book, to try and ignore him, but to his surprise he didn't. He continued to stare at Frank unashamedly, waiting for him to say whatever he had come over to say. Why not just get on with it, Frank thought to himself.

"So, I'm sorry about earlier." He said bluntly, not even attempting to make excuses. What excuse could he possibly have for that? "That was a dick move and you didn't deserve that kind of attention— not on your first day. I'm sorry."

Gerard blinked, obviously caught off guard. He had probably been expecting his brother's worst enemy to try and tell him about how Mikey was an asshole or about why he should join Frank's gang. Although Gerard was doubtful he would ever be invited to join anyone's gang; maybe as a joke or to spite Mikey, but never in seriousness. Not that he'd ever want to be in a gang— being in a gang was all about mindless violence and wanting to be better than other people. Wanting to have power over people. That's what being in a gang was all about, and Gerard wanted absolutely no part in it.

"You must think I'm an asshole, right?" Frank spoke, jolting Gerard out of his daydream. He shook his head and focused on his temporary companion and the words coming out of his mouth. Did he think Frank was an asshole? Undoubtedly he was… but he was sort of charming as well. Could that dazzlingly bright smile and little curl of hair around the side of his face be called charming? It could certainly be called attractive. Frank Iero was attractive… that was another unimportant detail Mikey had refrained from telling Gerard.

"No," Gerard said quickly, surprising Frank with how vehement he sounded. He must have realised how passionate his "no" sounded immidiately after he said it, because his face flushed and the top of his ears turned pink. He coughed, covering most of his face with his hand, and hurriedly continued, "I mean— I don't know you enough to have an opinion."

Frank laughed a little and cocked an eyebrow, saying, "You want to get to know me then?"
He must have surprised Gee as well as himself, because the kid choked on his next breath and when he ne t looked at Frank his eyes were huge. What was Frank doing? the older boy asked himself. Flirting? With Gee?

Before Gerard could speak - or shoot Frank down before he even got started with the plan - Frank stood up and took two big strides over to the other side of the table, sitting down in the chair right next to Gee. The other boy squeaked in surprise and Frank saw his knuckles turning white with how hard he was gripping his book.

"The Shining," Frank pointed out appreciatively, leaning so close to Gee that he could smell him. His hair smelt of apples. "I love that book!" He reached his arm out across the other boy's body to get the book - scared that the kid would break his fingers if he held it any tighter - and he heard him suck in a breath. From the corner of his eye, frank could see Gerard watching him, his face red and his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

It wasn't like Frank only just realised how close they were; he had meant them to be close. That was the point. But he was a little confused as to when trying to trick the kid into friendship became tricking him into flirting. He could work with either - being his friend or his boyfriend - and in fact he could probably glean more information from the kid if he was his boyfriend, but he hadn't made the conscious decision to flirt with Gee. It had just sort of… happened.

And now he was very aware of how close their faces were, and how Gerard was watching him with confusion and anticipation written all over his face.

A fist slamming down onto the table made both of them jump; Frank leapt up, his chair making an awful screeching sound against the floor as it was pushed back, ready to bite the head of whoever just interrupted them. He froze though, when he saw it was Mikey Way. For a second, just a second, Frank felt like he hadn't been caught red handed, like he shouldn't have been talking to Gerard. But then he remembered that he was Frank Iero and he had every right to talk to whoever the he'll he wanted. If Mikey Way didn't like it, then all the more reason to do it.

"Gerard, go sit at my table." Mikey ordered, his eyes never leaving Frank's.

"Mikey—" Gerard started, probably trying to defend his actions or pretend that he hadn't just been three centimetres away from Frank Iero's lips.

"Now, Gerard!" Mikey roared, and if everyone hadn't been watching them already, all eyes were definitely on them now. Gerard blushed profusely, his nose screwing up - adding to Frank's earlier puppy dog observation - as he scowled.

"Fuck you." Gerard said quietly. There was a collective intake of breath as people watched the small kid with the long black hair stand up to Mikey Way, as they watched him turn on his heel and storm out of the cafeteria. Frank was in half a kind to follow him - to run after him and apologise for getting him in trouble with his brother and for bringing even more unwanted attention to himself - but apologising wasn't really Frank's style. He'd already done it once today: twice and he might give himself a heart attack.

Besides, if he ran off now people might think he was running away from a fight with Mikey Way.

Frank turned back to Mikey, an eyebrow already raised in amused superiority.

"Now why'd you go do that, huh?" He smirked at his sworn enemy. "Gee and I were just talking. Making friends, y'know?"

"Look Iero," Mikey snarled, stepping close to Frank. He was as close to Mikey as he was to Gerard now, but it was not the same. It wasn't the same at all; Frank wanted to take a big step away from Mikey right now, but when he was sitting next to Gerard? Well, there was something about the kid that made Frank want to take a step closer. A big step closer.

"I don't know what your deal is, but leave my brother out of it, okay? Remember what I told you? Stay the fuck away from him, or I'll—"

"Personally beat the shit out of me," Frank finished the sentence with a roll of his eyes. "I know. But you know what Mikey? Maybe you should talk to Gerard about that, huh? Because I don't think he had a problem without me talking to him at all."

Frank didn't notice when Pete and Patrick had risen to go and flank their leader, and he hadn't noticed when Evan and Ray had gone to stand ominously behind him, but at some point they had. The entire cafeteria was almost deadly silent, save for a bunch of noisy freshman girls in the corner who still hadn't learnt the ropes yet.

"Watch yourself, Iero." Mikey threatened. Frank just laughed.

Notes

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