Safe me from myself.

Frank's POV

My hand hurt but it's something I could put up with my main worry was Gerard since he's gone mute on me which wasn't a good thing.

"Gee talk to me." I said quietly and handed him his coffee.
"I didn't choose to be in a abusive relationship, I didn't choose to get raped and I didn't choose to get stabbed or be mentally ill. I was some what normal before it all happened." Gerard said quietly.
I looked down and thought about when I last felt normal and to be honest it's been a very long time since I felt like I fitted in with the rest of the world.
"You'll get there. It just takes time. Like with everything else." I said and sat next to him on the sofa where Gerard cuddled into my side.
"What if I never feel like my old self again? What if I'm stuck like this for the rest of my life." He said.
"Well, I guess that's something you need to learn to accept. The things you went through will change you. I know from my experiences I've changed. I know I won't be like the person I was 6 months ago." I said and Gerard looked at me.
"What was you like 6 months ago?" Gerard asked and I chuckled.
"I was someone who you didn't want to be around with. I wouldn't of thought twice on decking you, I was off my face on drugs. That kid which I punched would of definitely ended up in hospital. I had no control of myself. But I'm getting better with myself control." I said and looked at Gerard.
"What about you? What was you like 6 months ago?" I asked.
"I was in hospital in the ward for people with mental illness. I was a mess, I was suicidal, I self harmed. I'm different to what I was but I feel myself going backwards sometimes." He said quietly and looked down.
"If you need to talk to someone then you can always talk to me okay. I want to be here for you and you can trust me to talk what is going on inside your head." I said and Gerard smiled a little.

Me and Gerard moved to his room when everyone came home since I didn't feel in complete control of myself is I was still annoyed with this kid which was picking on Gerard.
Gerard and tracing patterns on my stomach which felt really nice for some reason.
"You still feel really tense. You okay?" Gerard said and looked at me.
"Just slowly getting control of myself. As long as nothing kicks off I'll be okay and be myself soon." I said which was true the best way for me to calm down was not to have any drama round me and keep things as quiet as possible as anything could really set me off and I didn't really want that as it wouldn't be nice for everyone else in the house.
"Can I do anything to help?" Gerard asked and moved so his head was now on my shoulder.
"Nope, I can manage as long as you don't was to fight. Then you'll be in trouble with that." I said and Gerard smiled a little.
"You said that you never got Alex to the hospital, what did you mean by that?" Gerard asked.
"When I beat someone up they normally end up in hospital. That's how I got my tag. I beat someone up and they was in a coma for 4 days. But I was really bad when that happenEd and I relied on drugs a lot to calm me down." I said.

"Should I be afraid of you?" Gerard asked quietly and moved away from me.
I looked at him and made him look at me.
"You should never be afraid of me. If I scare you then you just say and I'll go off somewhere." I said and Gerard looked at me with panic in his eyes.
"Don't leave me." He said and threw himself onto my chest.
"If I put you in danger then I have no choice." I said and started to mess with his hair.
"I need you Frank. You keep me safe and sane. Without you I'm back in that hospital and I don't know when I'll be allowed back out again. I need you more than anything." Gerard said and I felt some tears in my chest since I didn't have my shirt on because Gerard somehow is always hot so he was like my human hot water bottle which I loved.
"I won't leave. How about we both have a snooze and then we can both feel refreshed after this day." I said and Gerard nodded and looked at me.
"Hate seeing you cry." I said quietly and wiped some tears away and Gerard brought his hand up and rested it on my cheek and smiled shyly at me.
Gerard moved forward and kissed me which I returned and smiled at him.
"Have a nap, you'll feel better after that. " I said and Gerard nodded and rolled onto his side and pretty much dragged me onto my side and put my hand over his waist and kept it there by holding my hand.
I smiled and cuddled into his back making the most of my human hot water bottle.

Notes

When you casually sit in the landury room at work while on a night shift because it's the only place where the WiFi is good and you can't be bothered to do any work...
but I'm really tired and in need of serious cuddles from my other half as it's been bloody ages since I've seen them...
the joys of adulthood got to love them... not