When you go

Chapter 5
“Gee, you look like hell,” Frank says, frowning, as he gets in the front seat of my car. I sigh, saddened that everyone had said that already. Mikey and Ray were in the back, speaking quietly to each other.
“Yeah.” I simply say. I wait until he’s buckled until i take off down the street. My stomach has a horrible feeling in it, (The Kind you get before you puke) and my mouth is watering like hell. I feel warm fingers on mine as it rests on the center council of the car. I look down to see Frank fingers on mine, making my eyebrow twitch.
“You still look beautiful. Even if you look half dead.” Frank says with a playful smile.
“Thanks Frankie.” I whisper back. I feel tears building in my eyes, but i refused to let them fall onto my cheeks.
I pull into the school parking lot, finding an empty space to pull into. I quickly turn off the car, getting out quickly. I immediately start walking into school, not waiting for Frank, Mikey, or Ray. I don’t want them to see me cry.
Just as i reach the doors, pulling them open, i feel a body slam into mine. I fall back on the pavement, another body weighing me down.
“Oh! I-Im really sorry!” I hear a small, but deep voice speak.
I look down as a guy with longish blonde hair scrambles off me.
“Hey, uh, it’s cool dude, that was my bad actually.” i say, getting up and rubbing the back of my head. I make the tears in my eyes disappear, not really wanting to cry in front of this guy. Once he stands i get a good look at him. He’s about my height, a little scrawnier. He has darkish circles around his eyes, yet somehow still attractive looking.
“You new?” i ask politely. He nods his head quickly, biting his cheek.
“Oh, cool. Need someone to show you around?” i ask him. He looks at me hopefully.
“Uh, yeah. Thanks, that’d be cool.” He says, smiling slightly.
“Okay, cool. My names Gerard, but my friends call me Gee.” I say smiling at him. The smile doesn’t reach my eyes at all though.
“My names Bert McCracken. Cool name by the way.” He says, looking down the hallway.
“Thanks. So what's your story Bert? Why are you in this shitty town?” u ask seriously. He looks at the ground, as if debating in telling me or not.
“Hey, it’s cool if you don’t want to tell me.” i say smiling kindly. He smiles at me gratefully, obviously relieved. We continue to walk down the hall before i realise we don’t know where we're going.
“Who’s your teacher?” I ask, looking at his face.
“Uh, Mrs. Branwell.” he says looking at his schedule. I nod, taking him down another hall. His class was next to mine.
“Okay, well my class is next to yours, so wait for me after class so i can help you around, k?” i say smiling at him. He nods with a genuine smile on his face.
“Thanks Gerard.” He says gratefully.
“Course. See you after class,” i say waving to him and turning to my classroom. I walk in, quickly taking my seat in the last row.
I let the fake smile malt off my face, my tears returning to my eyes.
More kids file into the class, taking their seats. No one takes notice of me, as i let silent tears rush down my face.
It was kind of funny in a way, me breaking down and no one taking notice.
It made me want to laugh hysterically and cry at the same time. The teacher starts the lesson, but i’m not listening. I’m sitting there, thinking what a fucking joke my life is.
Suddenly my stomach pain increases hugely and i get out my my seat fastly clutching my stomach.
“Gerard? Whats wrong? Are you okay?” The teacher says, rushing to my side. I shake my head, rushing out of the room, and down the empty halls. I rush into the bathroom, opening a stall and falling to my knees as i empty my stomach out.
It takes me ten minutes for me to stop puking, gagging after my there’s nothing left in my stomach. I lean against the bathroom stall, crying once again, this time letting myself make noise.
I deserve this, though. I deserve to hurt this bad, i deserve to get bullied.
I wonder if anybody else feels this much hate for themselves.

**************
“Hey guys, this is Bert. He’s new.” i say sitting down at our lunch table. Mikey and Frank are already seated with Alex, a guy who occasionally sit with us.
“Hey Bert, I’m Frank.” Frank states smiling kindly. Mikey nods his head at Bert as a welcoming.
“Nice to meet you.” Bert says, seeming genuinely pleased.
“So Bert tell me about yourself.” Mikey says smiling. Bert begins to say something, but I don’t listen. I completely zone out, wanting to be anywhere but here. Wanting be alone.
I snap out of my daze when I feel a hand on mine. I expect to see Frank's fingers laced with mine when i look down, but instead it’s Berts. I see the hint of a smile pull at his face, but i feel nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

Notes