Once I Was

The sound of sneakers slapping pavement filled the air as Frank ran up the steps to the Way’s house, knocking hard on the door. Donna had barely opened it when Frank zipped by, making some kind of noise Donna assumed to be a hello. She just smiled and shook her head fondly. She didn’t mind Frank’s hurry; the boy was over so often that he was practically a third son for her.

Frank nearly slipped when he tried to go down the stairs, managing to keep himself steady up until the last step. His foot caught on a snag in the carpet and down he went, face planting onto the rough surface. He shook his head, scrambling to his feet when he heard footsteps coming towards him.

“Frank?” Gerard tilted his head, raising an eyebrow at the younger boy. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing!” Frank blushed bright red, pushing past Gerard into the elder’s room. It was always a little dark down there, but Frank didn’t mind. He thought it suited his friend, the practically reclusive artist seeming to blend right in with the shadows. Frank plopped himself on Gerard’s bed, swinging his legs and looking around.

Gerard didn’t question Frank again, just shrugging to himself as he reminded himself that this was Frank he was talking about. The kid was a ball of constant energy and short attention spans, and as annoying as it could be Gerard wouldn’t have it any other way. He sat down at his desk, returning to the sketch he had been working on before Frank broke his focus. A basic cartoon character was laid out on the page, a strong man with an attempt at a cape fluttering behind him. Gerard started to add more details, his tongue sticking out like it always did when he was deep in concentration.

“Hey, Gerard?” Frank suddenly broke the silence, nibbling on his lip. He barely glanced at his friend when he spoke, training his gaze on his sneakers once again.

Gerard sighed through his nose, turning to look at Frank. “Yes?”

Frank’s legs swung a little harder, his face screwed up slightly as he seemed to think hard about what he wanted to say. Gerard frowned slightly, frustration at being interrupted gone. Frank was never quiet like this; when he had something to say, there was no stopping the words from tumbling from his mouth.

“Frank…?” Gerard stood up, sitting beside him on the bed. As much as he wanted to act like a cool, bratty teenager, he cared about his friend. Even if Gerard was already thirteen, and Frank was only eleven.

The younger suddenly looked up, an uncharacteristic nervousness behind his eyes. “Gerard, do you think I need to get a wife? Or a girlfriend, or something?”

The barely-a-teenager frowned curiously, shaking his head. “No? I mean, Frank, you’re only eleven. Even I don’t have a girlfriend yet. You can’t get one before me!” Gerard joked, elbowing Frank’s side in an attempt to cheer the boy up. He barely acknowledged Gerard’s efforts, his gaze once again trained on the floor.

“But… Like… Do I have to get a girlfriend?” Frank asked softly, his feet swinging much more slowly.

Gerard’s eyebrows scrunched together as he considered Frank’s question. He’d never thought about it, really. As far as he’d seen, boys always got together with girls. Even so, the pale and pained look on Frank’s face was enough to get Gerard shaking his head slowly.

“I… I guess not? I mean… I dunno. I guess you don’t have to if you don’t want to?”

Frank nodded, his head bobbing up and down excruciatingly slowly. He had looked away while Gerard was thinking, worrying his lip between his teeth. Gerard’s heart rate had sped up, his forehead creasing as he waited for Frank to say something, anything. This wasn’t like Frank, and as cool as Gerard tried to be, Frank was starting to scare him.

“My dad said I should look for a girlfriend so I won’t be lonely,” Frank suddenly blurted out, his cheeks flaming up. “But I don’t want to. I don’t like girls, they’re boring.”

“You’re just too little- you’ll start to like them when you’re bigger.” Gerard assured him, resting his hand on Frank’s arm.

The smaller boy jerked away, frowning and sighing out in frustration, “But I don’t want to like them. I don’t want to be around them at all.”

Gerard shifted uncomfortably, not sure what to say to that. To be honest, he kind of knew what Frank meant. Whenever he talked to people at school he acted like he saw the girls the same way they did, but he still hadn’t started getting the feelings everyone said he was supposed to have. The girls were fine, there was nothing wrong with them, but there was also nothing drawing Gerard towards them. He figured it would come, he just had to be patient. Before he could voice this theory of patience to Frank, the little boy spit out some words that almost startled Gerard into falling off the bed.

“Would you be my wife? If... If I asked you? Like, later?” He asked, all in a rush and in such a fearfully quiet voice that Gerard almost didn’t hear him. But he did. The elder gulped nervously, fidgeting and avoiding Frank’s eyes.

“N-not for real!” Frank quickly stuttered out, although the disappointment at Gerard’s silence was written all over his face. “I mean, just…” He bit his lip, looking away. He couldn’t think of a good excuse for the question, and all he could picture was how weird Gerard must think he is. Frank buried his face in his hands, not understanding why his eyes felt so moist.

An arm carefully encircled the small boy, its pale hand gripping his waist and pulling him closer. Frank refused to look up, keeping his face buried until Gerard said something entirely unexpected.

“Yeah… Um, I would.” He mumbled, a fiery red blazing in his cheeks. “I’d do it, for you.”

Frank’s head shot up, his eyes wide and disbelieving. “You… You would?”

“Yeah,” Gerard sighed, pulling Frank so that his small head was resting on Gerard’s skinny chest.

Frank smiled shyly, undeniably enjoying the feeling of Gerard’s fingers tracing circles in his back. He had never imagined Gerard would say yes. He didn’t really understand it, but Frank felt a warmth grow in his chest.

“Thank you, Gee…” He murmured, closing his eyes and tucking himself further into Gerard’s side. The older boy blinked, a little surprised. Frank had never called him ‘Gee’ before. He had to admit; he liked the sound. But only from Frank. Or, maybe…

“Always, Frankie.”

Notes

This didn't actually go in the direction I originally meant, but I think it turned out alright. :3 I really felt like writing more of them as kids, so enjoy the relatively fast update! <3

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