I Can't Choose

Frank's POV-

I awkwardly sit on the edge of one of the chairs, looking at the ground, as Gigi quietly talks away about her music taste and some of the concerts and shows she's been to.

It's really interesting, but I'm just a fucked up awkward person she probably thinks I'm so awkward...

I dread to think what she thinks about me.

Finally Ray comes over...

"Hey guys!" He says, smiling.

"Well, you took your time." Gigi says.

Ray just shrugs, "so how have you two been getting on?"

"Pretty good, Frank and I like the same music." She says, and I awkwardly nod and smirk.

"Cool, so like what's up?" She asks Ray.

We continue talking for the rest of lunch and I'm really glad I met these 2 people, they're really interesting and cool.

They make me forget about my own fucked up problems for a while which is great.

*time lapse*

When I get home, reality hits me right in the fucking face...

My phone beeps, and I check it... Text from mom...

Mom- hey honey, I'm not going to be home tonight, so don't wait up!

Me- k

I reply with 'k' because she's really pissing me off...

I really want her to be there for me... I just want my mom to be around and take care of me like mothers are meant to do.

I'd never let her know any of that though...

I sigh, she didn't even ask how my first day of school was... Wonder if she even knows it was...

I sigh until I can't take it anymore.

Once again, I return to the blade.

I slice down my arms more, I run out of room so I do it on top of my old cuts on my thighs.

I sigh in relief as I watch the blood dripping down my arms and down my legs onto the towel I'm standing on.

I think I'm bleeding too much because the next thing I know I'm sitting on the floor, still watching the blood and I start to feel a tad light headed.

I decide a little shut eye would be okay...

*time lapse*

I wake up the next day with a massive headache and covered in dry blood...

Why am I on the bathroom floor?!

As I wake up more, I remember last night, which reminds me of mom, reminding me of how much of a fuck up son I am...

I don't even want to go to school today...

I should for Gigi and Ray though...

Nah, fuck it, even I'm not a good enough person for them, they are just pretending to like me because they feel bad for me.

After about 20 minutes of staying on the floor, I decide to pick myself up, take some aspirin and carry myself back to my bed, and lay down, bringing the covers up to my head.

Notes

Comment what you think please :)