Where's your heart?

Over the next few days Frank tries to act like everything is fine but something inside me keeps me from letting it go completely, our relationship not exactly strained but it definitely feels different. Frank is currently at work at the pizza shop and Mikey comes over to hang out, Pete staying home as he doesn't feel well and we are sitting in the living room talking when the doorbell rings and I get up to answer it, wondering who it could be and when I open the door I immediately want to slam it closed again. "Hey is Frank home?" James asks and I swallow hard before saying "No, he's not." "Oh well do you know when he'll be back? I really need to talk to him" he says, his eyes darting to look over my shoulder into the house and I frown as I say "No, I don't know what time he'll be home and I really don't appreciate you showing up at my house looking for my boyfriend so tell me what you want him for and I will let him know." "No offence but it's none of your business what I want him for" James snaps back and as he turns to leave I feel my hands shake in anger, my feet moving forward and before I fully register what I'm doing I shove the screen door open out of my way and step outside, James turning at the noise and I take the few steps towards him quickly, closing the gap between us until I am standing right in front of him. "You need to leave and leave my boyfriend alone" I spit at him and James' eyes narrow as he moves in even closer to me and says "And what are you gonna do about it? You gonna make me?" I swallow hard, feeling my whole body start to shake as anger and slight fear run through me and when I don't say anything in return James smirks and says "Yeah I didn't think so," turning and taking a step towards the stairs again and I feel myself snap, stepping up behind him and before I can stop myself I reach out and shove him in the back hard, James' head turning to look at me as he loses his balance and his arms flail out, his body tilting forward and he starts to fall, his body making a dull thud as it hits the first stair and I watch in horror as he falls down the rest of them, his body tumbling in slow motion until he's made it down all six stairs, landing with a pained groan on the pavement below.

I stand in shock for a few long seconds, my mouth dropping open and just as I take the first step towards him the door opens and Mikey says "Gee what's....what the fuck happened?" his gaze turning to James laying at the bottom of the stairs. "I didn't....oh god I didn't mean to" I choke out as I stare at Mikey wide eyed, frozen to the spot and he quickly pushes past me and rushes down the stairs, dropping to his knees beside James and once he has him rolled onto his back he starts asking if he's ok, James groaning in pain before he says "I think my wrist is broken." Another long second passes before I figure out how to move again and I rush down the stairs to kneel beside James on the other side and he turns his head and spits "Get the fuck away from me," his voice strained and his eyes watering in pain. "I...." I stammer out, my thoughts racing and as James goes to speak again Mikey says "Gee, I think you should go back inside, I'm gonna take him to the hospital." I nod, slowly standing again and as I turn to walk back up the stairs Mikey says "I'll be back soon."

After Mikey and James are gone, Mikey helping James into his car to take him to the hospital I wander into the living room and sit down, staring into space as what just happened really hits me and before I know it the front door opens and I look towards the door, expecting Mikey but when Frank walks around the corner I break, launching myself off the couch and into his arms, a few tears escaping me as I start to shake again. "Hey, hey what's wrong?" Frank asks softly as his hands come up to gently stroke my hair and rub my back and I sniffle before saying "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...." "Shh, just calm down babe" Frank tells me as I start to cry more and I bury my face in his neck as I lean further against him. "What happened?" Frank asks after another few minutes, waiting until my whimpers have stopped and I pull back, separating us slightly before I look at his face and say "I hurt James." "What do you..." Frank starts but he's cut off by the doorbell and when he walks back down the hallway to answer it I feel myself start to shake again, my mind still in disbelief that I really just did what I've done. "Is Gerard Way here?" I hear a deep male voice ask after Frank opens the door and a few seconds later footsteps sound down the hallway, Frank entering the living room again followed by two police officers and I swallow hard, feeling the room spin slightly as I know what's about to happen. "Mr Way?" one officer asks and I nod, unable to form words and he asks me to sit, both of them taking a seat on the other couch and they ask me what happened earlier, listening to my version of events and making notes and the more I talk the more upset Frank looks, his disapproving gaze making me feel even worse and once I've finished telling the officers everything they stand and say "Mr Way this is a serious offence and Mr Dewees intends to press assault charges. You need to come with us and...." "No, I didn't.....I can't...." I stammer, my eyes welling with tears and the officer sighs and says "You can either come with us willingly or we can handcuff you and take you away, your choice Gerard." I nod, my gaze dropping to the floor as I stand too and as I take a step towards the door I turn my head to look at Frank, his face hard and unreadable and a soft whimper escapes my throat as I turn back and keep walking, following the officers outside to their car.

Notes

Short chapter but lots of drama.

I want to apologise for the amount of time it took me to update, in late July my husband decided our relationship was over after nine and a half years together and it has been a really long difficult process trying to get myself together again after my entire life as I know it has disappeared. Every day is a struggle and I hope you can all be patient with me as I can't guarantee that I will be able to write and update on a regular schedule but as I have said before I will finish this story, I will not abandon it.
(I'm not writing this for the sympathy/attention/to make anyone feel bad for me, I just want you guys to know I'm not disappearing for no reason and I am trying my best)