The Only Hope For Me Is You

We tongue fuck for the longest time while all at the same time, slowly and seductively taking off an article of clothing every few minutes. It was great, but no moment of the fore-play was better than when I attempted to take off his belt. I feel around for a second, trying to find the buckle-part of the belt when I accidently grabbed his crotch and squeezed. I’m not sure what I wasn’t sure what I was doing anymore when I heard him moan in discomfort.
His lips abandon mine, making me sad, and he asks, “Trying to do anything in particular?” I chuckle. Shit this is embarrassing. “I was trying to take your belt off damnit!” But he just starts laughing hysterically. “Why is that funny? I mean I know I accidently grabbed your,” “No, it’s not that.” He interrupts. “I’m not wearing a belt.”
Great! Now I feel like a complete fuck.
“Never mind that, here,” and he moves himself and removes his jeans for me. “That was surprisingly helpful, thank you.” I say, anxious to get him back on me. He chuckles. “okay?”
A smile finds itself a place on my face and I pull him in again to continue lip locking. I purposely tangle my fingers in his messy red hair, and he moans a little.He slides his hands from my shoulders down my arms, then all the way down both sides of my torso. Gerard is the exact definition of the word “tease”. I knew what he was doing. He was removing the last piece of clothing on me that was neglected to be taken off earlier. I couldn’t wait for penetration, oh God how I need to feel that significant sensation from him right now. He pulls his lips away from mine and gently kisses my neck, then slowly moves down to my chest, my stomach, and finally, he takes hold of my boxers and…..boom!









My personals spring free but are quickly engulfed in warm saliva. It’s the best feeling ever, I think. I try to hold back the urge to moan but all attempts fail and it comes out. Bu the only takes that as a signal to go faster, deeper, making me feel like a king.
“Gerard…I’m…gonna..cu..mmm!” And before I knew it, he was swallowing my semen.
I gagged and tried to keep it together. That was nasty, no matter what I’m into or will ever be into, that is just discusting. “Okay. Stop.” I say. He looks up and smiles. “Too much for you?”
But I didn’t want him to think that this was too much for me. That’s embarrassing.“No it’s just that… It’s my turn isn’t it?” I watch as he wipes some from the corner of his mouth and try with everything inside of me not to throw up all over him.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” He asks. It sounded like he’s done this a million times before and that makes me nervous. Now that I think of it, what’s making me think that I’m not just another one of his victims? All the sudden I get this SUPER unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
We just met today! And already I’m making life changing decisions.
I mentally slap myself for doing this to him. Earlier I felt so sure of what I wanted and that was him. Gerard Way. I wanted-I still want Gerard Way. So what’s holding me back? Why does this feel so wrong? I don’t realize that I’m staring off into space until he’s back on top of me, grazing my lips with his.
But something in me screams no and I pull away. He looks sad instantly from the rejection and sits up. “Is everything okay Frank? Talk to me, please.” I’m never going to be able to forgive myself for this but…I sit up myself and scoot off the bed. It wasn’t until I turned back around and looked into Gerard’s sad, gorgeous brown eyes, and saw his beauty that it hit me.
I can’t be with him like this because I’m finding myself attached to him. Falling in love with him even and if I lose him….I just can’t lose him. “I’m so sorry G, I have to go.” I say so quiet I almost couldn’t hear myself. “Wait, what are you talking about?” He sounds worried now and it doesn’t help with anything.
I scramble to find my clothes on the ground and re-dress my naked body. Every second that he sat there on the bed just watching me leave felt like a million years. A million painful, awful, agonizing, and heartbreaking years. We both stay silent as time itself until I just get done tying my second shoe, and he finally says something. “What did I do wrong?” I force myself to look at him and holy crap was it painful. He had tears streaming down his pale cheeks. I wish I could wipe them off so badly right now, just walk over and embrace him.
“G…it’s not you okay? It’s me and I’m getting too attached to you. I’m allowing this inevitable hurt to happen and I can’t allow it.” I say tenderly, trying to minimize the amount of uncontrolled emotion right now for both of our sakes. “That’s bull. You’re just like the rest of them. So just go. How can every single damn person I know walk right out of my life just like this and then say that it’s not me? You’re not the first to do this Frankie, I trusted you and thought you might be the one. I took a risk. But where were you? Gone…just like the rest of them. So just go. Don’t bother looking for me in art, I won’t be there.”
I wipe away the bajillion tears that crept their way out of me as I was taking it all in. I didn’t know pain like this existed until now. I feel my heart shatter inside as I take one final look at his beautiful perfection and leave with three words sitting at the doorstep…”I love you.” And then it’s over. Leaving his apartment was saying goodbye to the few, but amazing memories that we made together….Goodbye G…

Notes

THIS STORY IS NOT OVER!!! I'm still working on it I swear.