The Only Hope For Me Is You

I force my eyes in another direction and man is it hard. I’ve missed him so much.
“What are you doing here?” I ask G. “You son of a bitch how could you? Something tells me you knew I’d be here so why. Are. You. Here?”
I hear the words fall out of my mouth and can’t believe it. I didn’t mean to say what I just did. I turn my focus over to Ray, still in complete shock at what just came out of me and he’s got his mouth hanging wide open. In the corner of my eye I can see G walking over to us with the two strangers.
Why!? Why did I have to say that? I can’t fucking believe myself. “What the hell Frank! You said that you guys had a past but heck, if it’s this bad then maybe you shouldn’t be in our b-“
Again, Ray is cut off mid-sentence, but this time it’s Gerard. I try to make it look like I’m not watching him by partially looking away. G quickly whispers something into Ray’s ear before Ray can continue ranting.
This is a living hell. And I’ve said that only a bajillion times before but I’ve never meant it so much in my life. When G backs up from Ray’s ear, he leaves, taking the two strangers with him.
Willing myself to do absolutely anything right now from moving my arm to blinking was beginning to feel impossible. My body was weak from putting so much energy into thinking and worrying about a person that doesn’t care. I know I broke things off because I couldn’t bear losing him but maybe that was the most fucked up thing to do…like, ever, because now he’s living his life like I made no mark in it. He doesn’t even seem to be bothered by the fact that I’ve coincidently popped my face back into his life. (Un-intentionally of course)
“Gerard just told me that you were a difficult student in his old art class. Now I get it. Hahaha, sorry for getting so heated, you just seemed to hate his guts, why? Was he an annoying teacher to you or something?”
My attention immediately snaps over to him when I hear what he says. And I have to say, what G told Ray hurts like a bitch. “What Gerard told you is bullshit. We-“
But I stop myself from talking because I realize WHY G told Ray what he did. He was protecting him from the truth. Ray might not (well, obviously) know that G is gay and he hasn’t been updated on my sexual preferences either. AND I don’t think me or Gerard know how Ray would react to know that me and him had a ‘student teacher’ affair. So as frustrating as it is to hear how ridiculous what G told Ray is, I need to just shut the hell up and let whatever happens, happen.
So I finish my sentence with a little bit of modification. “He wasn’t annoying. He ALWAYS gave me bad grades even when I knew that my work deserved a much higher grade, he yelled at me a lot, and kept asking me to stay after class and help clean up. He was much more than annoying.” Deep down inside, I laughed because it was like getting G back and making him look bad just like he did to me.
Ray just laughs. “Hahaha, yea, he’s such a peanut…so…you want a ride over to my place? We can get you all set up with some songs to practice singing.”
“Is Gerard going to be there?” I ask. “Um…Probably? I don’t know. He might have gone home even though he practically lives at my home, I swear to god, anyways, most likely. We have to get you introduced to everyone and try one song with you before the day ends anyways. So if he’s not there I’d call him and tell him to get his ass back over to my place.”
I take a deep breath. I just know that I’m going to have to face Gat some point in my life so, I decide to swallow the knife now and just get it over with. “Alrighty.” I say. “Let’s do it.” And without another word, we’re off to Ray’s house of awaiting horrors…

Notes

Sorry this chapter is so short