Why do we run away from ourselves?
Faking this calm has taken its toll
To look in those eyes
But I'm having fun pretending I belong
Convincing myself that I never got scarred
So no one thinks, so no one knows
That someone I love threw me away

Stomachaches was the best way of exorcising his feelings, he thought, after it was all done and ready. It also kept him busy and was going to provide for his family. But truth was Frank was scared to death to start again. He knew he shouldn’t have been. He used to be, after all, in a very popular band and had loyal fans that would buy whatever shit he would have to offer. That’s why he made damned sure he produced some quality shit to share with them. Still, it was the first time he was absolutely alone in a project. Of course he had the support of everyone around him and he knew he was talented enough but it was all him. Music, lyrics, editing; all his. He put his soul into it and now it was out it was time to pour the demons away. He got together a few friends, presented them with his work and gathered a band for touring.

So there he was, about to send his baby into the world live for the first time. He snapped a few pictures with his phone from backstage for later and while he had it on his hands, he paused and run his fingers through it for a moment without really touching anything. He took a deep breath and held it in but soon felt a weight on his shoulder. He shook his head and turned around, putting his phone away.

- Oh hey man, So good to see you!
- Told you I was coming! Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I heard the CD. Pretty good shit, dude.
- Thanks Mikey.
They hugged for a moment. Frank and Mikey kept in touch a lot. They were good friends and stayed in each other’s lives and got involved in each other’s solo project.
- I’m gonna be right out there at the back, okay?
- Yeah, hey, thanks for coming. It means a lot to me. Really.
- I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, besides I can’t wait to hear that shit live! I’ll head out. See you after!

~
- Done. I didn’t say anything but you are batshit crazy.
- We’ll see him after.
- He was about to text you.
- Wh..? He told you?
- No but I know him almost as much as I know you. And I know when he has the Gerard look… - Mikey made a gesture with his fingers on his eyes and Gerard laughed.
- I’m sure it was nothing.
- As you do, yeah.
Mikey and Gerard weren’t alone. As soon as the lights dimmed out, Gerard picked Bandit up so she could see from where they were standing in the back. Once up, she put her hands close to her uncle’s ear and said:
- We are incognito. - And pulled her hood forward.
Mikey and Gerard laughed.
- You are unrecognizable B. – Mikey humored her.
- Why, thank you. – She replayed gallantly

~

It was just a few minutes away from curtain call and Frank was sitting on a couch backstage reading the set list with Cherry on his side with a copy of her own.
- This one is my favorite, dad.
Cherry pointed at “All I want is nothing” on the list and Frank shifted his eyes from his sheet to hers.
- Oh… I thought it was “She is the prettiest girl”
- Yes, that was my last week favorite. My this week favorite is this one.
- Okay, got it. I’ll be thinking of you especially while I play that one, is that cool?
-Very cool! – She smiled wide and Frank put a kiss on her head.
Cherry had been studying her dad’s CD and could match a word from the title with the music. She found some of the songs sad but she still liked her dad’s music very much, after all she grew up with it.
A few moments later Jamia came to pick up Cherry with Lily in one hand and 2 year-old Miles on her arms as she said:
- Whenever you are ready honey.
Frank nodded and stood up, picking up the first guitar he was going to use for the opening song of the show while Jamia left the room with the kids to take their designated places to watch the show.

Frank stood there alone for a minute in silence. He put his hands in one of his pockets to reach for his phone once again and hesitated. He wanted to text him. To let him know what he was about to do and that in that second he was thinking about him like he did while writing the CD. He would send him a few little videos of things he was recording that made him think of him or whenever he felt excited about something new he was writing. Music was the one big thing they had shared for so long it only felt natural to want to show him. And he missed him. He missed him all the time. Especially their friendship because they had been the best of friends for so long above everything that now not having him in his life in anyway felt weird and empty.
He stopped himself again and thought that after he was done, if everything went right he would have the courage to maybe even call him.

~

If we wait
It may be too late
We'll make everybody cry
We wouldn't even have to try

If we stay
We may overstay
Our allotted time
And it just wouldn't feel right

But I only speak the truth
And I'll always bleed for you

~

Gerard had a huge smile on his face. He was proud. The band sounded amazing, the music was amazing and Frank owned the stage. He shone every single second of the show. Gerard could even pin point when he was singing to him even thou he didn’t know he was there. He felt it, he knew him too well. Mikey and Gerard with Bandit on his arm were walking towards backstage and any fear or anxiety he felt before banished. He was excited now. He couldn’t wait to see him.

Frank was talking to a group of people with his kids around him when he heard a voice coming from behind him.

- Cherry, Lily!!

A pair of little feet was running towards and past him and he didn’t know how he could even hear them since his heart was pumping so fast and so loud he felt it in his ears. He saw Bandit run him over to see his girls while he turned around and watch the Way brothers walking towards him and he couldn’t believe his eyes.

- You are here… - Frank managed to mutter when they finally reached him.
- Surprise? – Gerard shrugged with a smile and Frank wanted both to slap his smirk off and kiss him at the same time.
- What are you doing here? In Jersey I mean.
- I had a couple of things to take care of…. – Gerard started excusing himself but Mikey cut him off
- He came for tonight, to see you. I’ll go check on Bandit. – he said and walked away.
Frank shifted his eyes from Mikey back to Gerard and said nothing.
- Anyway, I’m glad I did. It was a great show.

Gerard didn’t want to look at Frank straight in the eyes because he knew what would happen if he did but his gaze over him was so deep he couldn’t help it even if he tried so he did. Frank eyes were big and irritated from the smoke on the air or maybe from a little tear that he was holding back. He didn’t want to avoid Gerard’s eyes. He did want to look right straight at him because that’s how he could read him.

~

You said people can change when they lose their hearts
It could be gone forever but sometimes they find it in hell,
Or a part of heaven,
So is this hell or are we even?
Well I've got time,
I've got time to burn.

They walked away from everyone to an empty and stretched hall and they just stood there for a minute in silence. Frank had his hands inside his pockets and rested his back on the wall, looking at Gerard who was standing in front of him, a few inches apart, not too far away but not close enough and wasn’t looking back.

- Why are you here…? – Frank looked for Gerard’s eyes so he’d known if he was lying.
- I wanted to be here… for you. For this. Did you not want me here? – Gerard started to feel insecure.
- I did. I do. I always do. I’m not the one who put a country between us.
- Frank… – Gerard looked away. That wasn’t what he was expecting but how could he not. It was Frank, he wasn’t going to keep it shut.
- What? What were you expecting it would happen?
- I thought you’d like me here!
- I do. And I’m also absolutely furious because I don’t know what you want from me! – he took his hands off his pockets and he was raising them now as well as his voice.
- I don’t want anything! I thought…!
- You thought… - Frank interrupted him. – You thought I’d be happy. That we’d laugh, have a great time and then you’ll be off. And we would pretend that everything’s fine. That I would pretend that I don’t miss you every day. That seeing you for a couple of hours is as easy as watching you leave till God knows when. That’s what you thought would happen, that we would play pretend like you always do, like you want me to do. You even brought Bandit. Why? Were you afraid I’d ask you to stay? Were you afraid you’d actually want to?
- Okay, evidently this was a shit idea. I’m gonna go… - Gerard turned to leave but Frank stood straight and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.
- Why can’t you just fucking talk to me!?
- What do you want me to say? Yes! You are right! I thought you’d be happy. I thought that you’d see me and you’d smile and be happy that I came to see you and we would enjoy this and yes, I’m a selfish motherfucker and I miss you too and I wanted to see you and I didn’t care that maybe you didn’t. Not like this, which is all I have for you. Yes, I thought you’d play pretend with me for tonight!
- You infuriate me.
- I know

Gerard pushed Frank back to the wall, grabbed him by the back of his neck and pressed his lips against his own. Frank closed his eyes grabbing Gerard strongly by the edge of his jean jacket and pushing him even closer towards his body. They kissed for a minute or so and Frank pushed Gerard strongly, almost completely away. Gerard jumped back a step.

- I fucking hate you. – Frank muttered catching his breath.
- I know – Gerard nodded.
- I really do.
- I know.

Gerard kept nodding while getting closer slowly and this time Frank was the one pulling him by the neck to kiss him again trying to keep that moment as long as deep as he could because he knew it was going to be the last one for, probably a very long time. After a while they parted again. Frank was the one not looking up this time. He felt weak. He felt like he always gave into Gerard’s game. Gerard knew what was going on through his head. He put Frank’s hair that was falling on his face behind his ear and run his thumb through his cheek.

- I wish you would, you know? Hate me?
- Me too – Frank sighed. – I wish I could hate you. I try it sometimes. It makes it easy for a while. But then I remember something we’d done together, or something that you do that makes me laugh and it suffocates me.
- For what is worth, I can’t. I can’t hate you even if I try.

Frank finally looked up, looking for his eyes hoping to find just charm but he found raw honesty instead and he didn’t know how Gerard managed with his own feelings and suddenly he remembered that no one would ever be as hard on Gerard as Gerard himself. And he felt like a shithead. But he had no time to focus on that, out of the blue came the three girls looking for them screaming altogether “Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy!!”

- Mikey and Jamia say we are all going out for pizza! – Bandit screamed at Gerard, pulling from his jacket.
- Well, what are we doing here then? Let’s jet! – Gerard replayed and clapped his hands so the three girls run off together screaming again.
Frank and Gerard looked at each other with a nostalgic smile on their faces and walked their way through the hall hand in hand till the end and then… they parted ways.

Someone I love threw me away
Someone I love ripped through me
But I don't mind, I'll be fine
I don't mind, we'll get by somehow.

Notes

This is the second and last part!!
Hope you enjoyed this short story!! Feedback is alwasy appreciated. Also if you couldn't tell, I'm obssessed with stomachaches. <3
Thanks for reading!!
Nadia~