Only One Way

Gerard

It was one in the morning when Frank barged into my room. "Gee!" He said in a high pitched voice, and threw his arms around me. I could smell the alcohol in his breath.
"Frank? Baby have you been drinking?" He giggled and smacked a sloppy kiss on my cheek "only a teeeensy tiny bit."he said, raising his hand and making it so his thumb and index finger were almost touching.
"Let's go back to your room sweetheart okay?"I said and put his arm around my shoulder and started leading him down the hall.
When we got to his room I saw an empty whisky bottle and two crushed cans of bud light, there was also a big wet looking spot on the floor that I knew must've been spilled beer.
"Baby why did you do this?" I asked, biting my lips and blinking my eyes quickly to try to keep any tears from falling. Frank knitted his eyebrows together like he was trying to answer a confusing question "cuz I'm a shitty person"
Then he started crying and reached for the empty whisky bottle. I pulled it away from him. "Shhh, no your not Frankie, your perfect, shh go to sleep. He turned on his side in the bed and I started rubbing his back, " i love you Gee." He said, words slurring, "i know sweetheart, i love you too."
the sobbing stopped and all I could hear now was the hiccuping that comes after crying.
As soon as his breathing evened I burst into tears. I sunk to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees sobbing uncontrollably. This is all my fault I thought and wrapped my arms tighter.
i want to die, I need to die. I kept chanting that in my head as I walked to my bathroom. I grabbed the bottle of anxiety pills from behind the mirror, the bottle was almost empty. Not enough to kill me, but sure as hell enough to get me high enough to do it another way. I swallowed the pills and reached for my pocket knife that I'd hidden under the towels.
I started slicing at the skin on my forearm, shallow at first, but then deeper, all the way down my arm until I got to my wrist, pausing. You have to do it I thought, then before I could think about it and chicken out, I sliced into my wrist. When that cut didn't proove deep enough, I put more pressure on it, cutting deeper and seeing blood.
I sat there frozen for a few seconds before anger washed over me and i threw the knife against the mirror, shattering it,
Then i started crying again, I screamed and kicked and banged on the walls hard before I slipped on what I think was my blood and hit my head on the sink, the last thing I remember was Mikey bursting through the door, a scared looking Frank standing behind him. And then, blackness.

Notes

I wanted to show you guys Gerard's reaction from his point of view. Also I'm so sorry, It just sorta happened