I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
Place Where You Belong
I can't help my feelings, I'll go out of my mind
These players come to get me 'cause they'd like my behind
I can't love my business if I can't get a trick
Down on Santa Monica where tricks are for kids
Basically, cheer practice was nothing but a whole bunch of bitches complaining cause their flyer now has red hair. Our coach really doesn’t seem to care. The rest of practice consisted of throwing me up into the air and drop me because no one is able to catch. I’ve probably got at least four new bruises.
After going home and changing into last years cheerleading uniform, I headed to Frank’s house. I’m actually excited to help out with housework. I’ve been living in my head more and more lately and know that cleaning will help distract me.
Now, Ray, who, got offended because I told him he has mop hair, is chasing me around the back yard. I don’t see what the problem is. Just then I run into a solid wall of body…its Frank. His eyes trail over my exposed flesh. I can feel blood rush to my cheeks as I shift my weight from foot to foot. My best friend smiles at me, his arms snaking around my back; pulling me close to him. He smells like coffee, cigarettes and dogs. For a few seconds we just hold each other. I enjoy his warmth.
Suddenly, Frank pulls away, giving me a big smile, “Mikey’s inside.”
Nodding, I continue to stand in front of him, just taking in his features, trying to memorize everything. I almost tell him my plan again. In the end I just press my lips to his cheek before heading inside the house.
Entering Frank’s room I see my boyfriend lying across the bed looking through Frankie’s massive CD collection. Seems as he hasn’t noticed me yet, I shrug out of Gerard’s jacket and walk quietly over to him. Smiling slyly, I slide my cold hands over Mikey’s eyes.
The CD case drops on the floor and Mikey’s fingers curl around mine. As I lift my hands away the younger Way tilts his head back, smiling up at me. We’ve been dealing with some stuff lately, mostly differences of opinions on how relationships work, but today things have been good and I want them to stay that way. I hate fighting with Mikey.
“How was practice?” he questions.
“Well, besides being dropped like a thousand times, it went fan-fucking-tasic,” I answer back with a smile as Mikey twists around, placing his lips on my forehead.
“Mmmhmm,” Mikey mumbles, moving his lips to mine.
I only pull away when I hear a sound in the hallway. The two of us sit next to each other, smiling, trying to get our breathing under control before someone walks in the door.
“Have you found anything you like?” I question, eyes sweeping over the massive amount of CD cases spread across the bed and floor.
“I might have,” answers Mikey, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and he kisses me on the cheek.
“I meant CDs silly,” I giggle, picking up one from Weezer.
“A few,” Mikey motions to a pile on the bed. Its quiet a bit more than a few...maybe a few dozen would be more accurate.
I nod, picking up Mikey’s hand then letting it fall. I want to ask him so many things I just don’t know how. I know he needs to talk about things too. I simply don’t want anything to be awkward. Mikey needs to know that as his girlfriend he can talk to me about anything. Our latest fight was about Mikey being concerned that Gerard way gay. He isn’t necessarily against it but it definitely worries him. I flew off the handle, claiming that Mikey should accept his brother regardless. Mikey insisted that he does but that he isn’t sure how to help his brother and that it’d be easier if Gerard was straight. This resulted in me slamming the front door, telling the youngest Way that he needed to grow up.
“Mikey…how does it make you feel, that Frank kissed your brother. I mean how does it really make you feel?”
For a moment Mikey says nothing, looking at my hand. I know he’s worried that this is going to turn into another fight, “I don’t so much mind that they kissed. Yeah, it was weird to hear, but that’s over. What bothers me the most is Frank lying on top of Gee or me. Or Frank rolling around on the floor with my older brother or them hugging or holding hands. I don’t want my brother to be gay, Amber.”
I take a deep breath, trying to hold it together. I don’t want to fight with Mikey, “I don’t really think Gerard is gay.” I tuck a stand of Mikey’s bangs behind his ear. It falls out just a soon as I tuck it in. “Plus why would it be so bad if he was?”
Mikey frowns at me, probably remembering what happened last time we tried to talk about this kind of thing. I don’t do well with people not accepting others. I’m protective of my friends, especially Frank and Gerard. For some reason when Mikey says he doesn’t want his brother to be gay I can’t help but wonder if he’d be okay with it if it was with anyone but Frank.
“What do you think?” Mikey questions avoiding making eye contact.
“I think that Gee and Frank have a special relationship that most guys don’t have. I think if it makes you uncomfortable you should tell them. I think you should voice your fears to your brother. I think you should tell people how you feel. I think you should accept Gerard for who he is. I think cheerleaders are over rated. I think my parents will be mad when I get home tonight. I think I like the smell of your cologne. I think guys wearing skinnies is hot. I think you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
Mikey kisses my cheek, before moving his lips up to my ear, “And you, sweetie, are the best girlfriend ever.”
Blushing, I move my lips to Mikey’s, allowing his tongue to push past my lips, into my mouth, his hand finding it’s way up under my cheerleading top, fingers resting on the side of my right breast, my hands finding their way up under his shirt to rest on his chest.
We stay this way until the door opens. The two of us pull away from each other quickly. In my haste I lose my balance and fall backwards off the mattress, a few of the CD cases landing next to my head.
“Get some, Mikey,” Ray laughs.
I show Ray my middle finger as I sit up again. Ray grins back at me before taking my spot on the mattress next to Mikey.
"Find any good one's Mikes?" questions Frank. He gives me a sidewys glance as he sits down next to me. He’s never been comfortable with the idea of Mikey and I being intimate. I think it may have something to do withour past together. changing the subject to something less awkward for all of us.
"Can I borrow, like, all of these?" he asked, and we all laugh looking over Mikey’s large pile.
"No prob, man," Frank says with a smile, his hand moving to rest on my knee.
Gerard sits down at Frank’s computer chair, picking leaves out of his hair with much difficulty. Ray gets up off the bed and starts going through Frank’s various songbooks.I lean against the wall behind me and smile over at Frank who returns it. We have a place where we belong.
These players come to get me 'cause they'd like my behind
I can't love my business if I can't get a trick
Down on Santa Monica where tricks are for kids
Basically, cheer practice was nothing but a whole bunch of bitches complaining cause their flyer now has red hair. Our coach really doesn’t seem to care. The rest of practice consisted of throwing me up into the air and drop me because no one is able to catch. I’ve probably got at least four new bruises.
After going home and changing into last years cheerleading uniform, I headed to Frank’s house. I’m actually excited to help out with housework. I’ve been living in my head more and more lately and know that cleaning will help distract me.
Now, Ray, who, got offended because I told him he has mop hair, is chasing me around the back yard. I don’t see what the problem is. Just then I run into a solid wall of body…its Frank. His eyes trail over my exposed flesh. I can feel blood rush to my cheeks as I shift my weight from foot to foot. My best friend smiles at me, his arms snaking around my back; pulling me close to him. He smells like coffee, cigarettes and dogs. For a few seconds we just hold each other. I enjoy his warmth.
Suddenly, Frank pulls away, giving me a big smile, “Mikey’s inside.”
Nodding, I continue to stand in front of him, just taking in his features, trying to memorize everything. I almost tell him my plan again. In the end I just press my lips to his cheek before heading inside the house.
Entering Frank’s room I see my boyfriend lying across the bed looking through Frankie’s massive CD collection. Seems as he hasn’t noticed me yet, I shrug out of Gerard’s jacket and walk quietly over to him. Smiling slyly, I slide my cold hands over Mikey’s eyes.
The CD case drops on the floor and Mikey’s fingers curl around mine. As I lift my hands away the younger Way tilts his head back, smiling up at me. We’ve been dealing with some stuff lately, mostly differences of opinions on how relationships work, but today things have been good and I want them to stay that way. I hate fighting with Mikey.
“How was practice?” he questions.
“Well, besides being dropped like a thousand times, it went fan-fucking-tasic,” I answer back with a smile as Mikey twists around, placing his lips on my forehead.
“Mmmhmm,” Mikey mumbles, moving his lips to mine.
I only pull away when I hear a sound in the hallway. The two of us sit next to each other, smiling, trying to get our breathing under control before someone walks in the door.
“Have you found anything you like?” I question, eyes sweeping over the massive amount of CD cases spread across the bed and floor.
“I might have,” answers Mikey, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and he kisses me on the cheek.
“I meant CDs silly,” I giggle, picking up one from Weezer.
“A few,” Mikey motions to a pile on the bed. Its quiet a bit more than a few...maybe a few dozen would be more accurate.
I nod, picking up Mikey’s hand then letting it fall. I want to ask him so many things I just don’t know how. I know he needs to talk about things too. I simply don’t want anything to be awkward. Mikey needs to know that as his girlfriend he can talk to me about anything. Our latest fight was about Mikey being concerned that Gerard way gay. He isn’t necessarily against it but it definitely worries him. I flew off the handle, claiming that Mikey should accept his brother regardless. Mikey insisted that he does but that he isn’t sure how to help his brother and that it’d be easier if Gerard was straight. This resulted in me slamming the front door, telling the youngest Way that he needed to grow up.
“Mikey…how does it make you feel, that Frank kissed your brother. I mean how does it really make you feel?”
For a moment Mikey says nothing, looking at my hand. I know he’s worried that this is going to turn into another fight, “I don’t so much mind that they kissed. Yeah, it was weird to hear, but that’s over. What bothers me the most is Frank lying on top of Gee or me. Or Frank rolling around on the floor with my older brother or them hugging or holding hands. I don’t want my brother to be gay, Amber.”
I take a deep breath, trying to hold it together. I don’t want to fight with Mikey, “I don’t really think Gerard is gay.” I tuck a stand of Mikey’s bangs behind his ear. It falls out just a soon as I tuck it in. “Plus why would it be so bad if he was?”
Mikey frowns at me, probably remembering what happened last time we tried to talk about this kind of thing. I don’t do well with people not accepting others. I’m protective of my friends, especially Frank and Gerard. For some reason when Mikey says he doesn’t want his brother to be gay I can’t help but wonder if he’d be okay with it if it was with anyone but Frank.
“What do you think?” Mikey questions avoiding making eye contact.
“I think that Gee and Frank have a special relationship that most guys don’t have. I think if it makes you uncomfortable you should tell them. I think you should voice your fears to your brother. I think you should tell people how you feel. I think you should accept Gerard for who he is. I think cheerleaders are over rated. I think my parents will be mad when I get home tonight. I think I like the smell of your cologne. I think guys wearing skinnies is hot. I think you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
Mikey kisses my cheek, before moving his lips up to my ear, “And you, sweetie, are the best girlfriend ever.”
Blushing, I move my lips to Mikey’s, allowing his tongue to push past my lips, into my mouth, his hand finding it’s way up under my cheerleading top, fingers resting on the side of my right breast, my hands finding their way up under his shirt to rest on his chest.
We stay this way until the door opens. The two of us pull away from each other quickly. In my haste I lose my balance and fall backwards off the mattress, a few of the CD cases landing next to my head.
“Get some, Mikey,” Ray laughs.
I show Ray my middle finger as I sit up again. Ray grins back at me before taking my spot on the mattress next to Mikey.
"Find any good one's Mikes?" questions Frank. He gives me a sidewys glance as he sits down next to me. He’s never been comfortable with the idea of Mikey and I being intimate. I think it may have something to do withour past together. changing the subject to something less awkward for all of us.
"Can I borrow, like, all of these?" he asked, and we all laugh looking over Mikey’s large pile.
"No prob, man," Frank says with a smile, his hand moving to rest on my knee.
Gerard sits down at Frank’s computer chair, picking leaves out of his hair with much difficulty. Ray gets up off the bed and starts going through Frank’s various songbooks.I lean against the wall behind me and smile over at Frank who returns it. We have a place where we belong.
@KidFromYesterday
Yay!!! Thank you, this story has been really great, as well as your others!!
10/2/16