Let down and hanging around
Crushed like a bug in the ground
Let down and hanging around
My entire body feels like it’s electrically charged. Cold fingers continually find the warm spot on my cheek where Amber’s lips where just a few minutes ago. Next to me Ray tries to ignore everything. Obviously my actions are getting on his nerves.

“Dude cut it out,” Ray grumbles.

“I can’t help it Ray, I like her,” I answer a slight whine to my voice. My fingertips find their way to my cheek for the millionth time tonight.

Ray, angered by my actions, slaps my hand away, “Look man, Amber isn’t for you. She’s messed up. Amber will only bring you down. Forget about her and move on, it’s better for all of us.”

As confused as I am I can’t ask any questions…I’ve lost my ability to talk. By the time I regain my senses Ray has disappeared into his house. What the hell does any of that mean? Why, all of a sudden, is Ray angry about me liking Amber? He’s known I’ve liked her for years.

Slamming the door I trudge upstairs and flop down on my unmade bed. A Black Flag poster stares down at me as I pull my clothes off. The best thing right now is to clear my head. I need to forget what Ray said.

Turning on the shower I lift the lid off the toilet, grabbing out a little plastic bag that is taped inside the tank. Out of it a pull a joint and a lighter. As the water heats up the bathroom I light the end of it, pulling the smoke into my mouth. As I get high I picture Amber, her red hair partially in her face that goofy half smile I’ve come to love. The girl is pretty much perfect. Ray’s words just don’t make sense.

An hour later I’m high and clean, my mind is finally clear. Pansy, my guitar, sits neglected in the corner. For the last few months I’ve kind of ignored her. After putting some pants on, I grab my guitar and begin to strum. For a long while I just play, remembering all the songs Amber and I used to listen to.

Not even a full song in my phone buzzes. Picking it up I see a message from Amber. It’s simple but cute…like her.

Hey Frankie :)

Amber….

Guess what?

What?

I love you…

Her ridiculous text makes me laugh. This of course causes my dad to stop and open my door.

“What’s funny Frank?” he asks in a gruff voice. It looks like he just got off work or is about to leave again.

“Nothing really dad, just a text I got,” I answer, hoping he won’t pry anymore. Talking to my dad is low on my to do list. He’s gotten really good at figuring out when I’ve been smoking. He doesn’t necessarily care but he always tries to give me a lecture about making better decisions.

“Right…anyway, I’m going out tonight. Don’t sneak out,” dad says before shutting the door.

I love you too, silly

:) Am I still good to stay over tonight?

Why wouldn’t you be?

Don’t know :p See you later Mr. Iero.

My heart soars. Amber and I have sleepovers at each other’s houses all the time. We’ve done it ever since I found out she has night terrors. Amber tends to sleep better if she’s got someone else in the bed with her. Bob’s usually pretty good about sitting up with her but he needs sleep too. Even so my heart still skips a beat every time I get a message from her asking if she can stay over.

:)

One day I’ll be able to tell her how I feel; maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow but someday.

Notes

Author's Note: I decided to give you a little look inside of Frank's head. I hope you enjoy. :)

Song: Let Down by Radiohead